10: Katie

KATIE'S POVJanuary 18th

I spent every day with Bella for the months it takes her to recover. She tells me about Edward, and I tell her about Johnathan. I start to see Edward through her lens, which only makes me angrier with him. And I think she understands what I went through, too.

Slowly, Bella starts coming back to life.

It took me about a month to convince Bella to move back to her old table with her friends instead of us sitting alone at the Cullens' old table. Another month for her to start hanging out with her friends outside school again. Another to go back to work. She never outwardly resists me, but when I encourage her do something that I think is good for her... she shuts down again.

I love her. I love her more than anybody in the world. I would die for her. I hate to admit it, but taking care of her is exhausting. It's like everything about her closed itself off. She has no will to move on, so I have to coax it from her.

I hardly sleep anymore. Bella gets these nightmares every night, screaming with such panic that it wakes up the whole house. Charlie tried helping, at first, but the only thing that ever seems to help is when I sleep in bed beside her, whispering to her. You're okay. I'm right here. Her nightmares are as inevitable as the earth moving on its axis. There's no point to sleep in my room, anymore. I'm better off just falling asleep in her bed to begin with.

Bella more than contributes with companionship, however. She helps me with my homework when I'm too tired to rationalize it, encourages me to get fresh air with her when I've been cooped up with her inside all day. I've never really had a permanent, single best friend, but I know one thing for sure; Bella has taken over that spot with such ease that it feels like it was meant for her.

Mike seemed to give us space when the incident first occurred. Now, he's become his normal self again, chatting with us between classes and inviting us to go see movies and things. It's nothing romantic, luckily. Just platonic. I like things where they are.

And one thing I have to look forward to is Track season conditioning starting up next week. I've been running whenever I can, mostly when Bella is at work. I know it's dramatic, but I don't want her to feel like I'm abandoning her. Leaving Bella alone for too long always seems to set her back. I've come home to her looking limply out the window again, like she did on that first night. I can't take that risk with her. She's made too much progress to be set back.

Damn Edward Cullen. If I ever see him again, I'll rip out his throat myself.

Angela, my angel sent from above, has recently asked Bella to form a study group, so they hang out every day after school. At first, Bella seems guilty that she leaves me to hang out with Angela, but I assure her it's fine. It's good for her. And it gives me enough assurance that I can spend a few hours at practice everyday and she'll be fine.

And, in more recent news, Jacob called and said that he'd be more than willing to start working on my car now that he's made more progress on the Rabbit. I had almost forgotten about him in the last few months, a realization that had left me feeling like a terrible friend.

"Of course," I had replied, laughing. "But only if Quil and Embry's offer of free labor still stands."

He laughs into the phone, and the sound echoes in my ears pleasantly. "I'll ask for you. Oh, wait..." he pauses, clearly trying to think of something. "Oh! I almost forgot. Billy wanted me to remind Charlie that he invited you and Bella and Charlie over for dinner with the Clearwaters. On Saturday."

"Who?" I asked, more curious than anything else.

"A mutual friend of theirs. He has a daughter, Bella's age, and a son that's 14. I think he'd like you," Jacob laughs coyly. "You have a lot in common."

I frown, sensing some sort of jab about to happen. "What do I have in common with a fourteen year old boy?" I say slowly, sarcastically.

"Aside from the obvious..." Jacob starts, and I immediately shout something offensive at him. "Okay! Okay! Sorry, that was a joke!" He's laughing so hard that I can barely distinguish anything that he's saying.

"Go on!" I urge, the tightness in my chest decreasing slightly. "How were you going to finish that sentence?"

Although I can't see him, I can tell he's shaking his head. "I'm afraid to finish it."

Charlie entered the kitchen, a quizzical expression on his face as he regarded me. I mouthed Jacob's name to him silently, and he nodded. "Sorry Jacob, got to go. I'll relay the message."

"Okay, Katie." He replies. Then, a quiet chuckle. I hang up before I'm tempted to speak more.

As soon as I set down the phone, I turn to Charlie. "Billy wanted to remind you that we're invited over to dinner with the Clearwaters on Saturday."

Charlie nods carefully, staring at a spot on the floor. "Would Bella be fine with it?"

Another thing that had changed after the incident- Charlie and Bella's relationship. She hadn't meant to freeze him out, I know that much, but she hardly gave anyone but me and Angela more than one-word responses, especially at the beginning. Charlie started using me as a go-between, realizing that she and I had developed some sort of special bond. It was almost as exhausting as being the go-between for teachers and kids at school, too.

I didn't blame Bella for her exclusiveness. I was the only person she could be honest with. I knew Edward. I knew what he was, and what they had done together. I know the true nature of Bella's feelings towards him. She couldn't express that with anyone else without going to an asylum. I knew that much. Keeping the Vampire secret had led me insane, sometimes. But I still didn't think Charlie— or her mom, who emailed weekly— deserved that treatment. But I had done my best to try and push her in the right direction.

"Yeah, I think she'd like that. Jacob is a good friend." I respond to Charlie, trying to be convincing. I really did believe Bella would enjoy herself.

"All right, then." Charlie nods, as if the matter is settled.

——————————

Bella, and I decide to head down to La Push early to spend some time with Jacob before dinner. Charlie, unable to hide his satisfaction, practically throws Bella's car keys at us and encourages us to get out the door.

I drive on the way to the reservation with Bella with the windows down. If I was by myself, I would have been blasting the radio, but I carefully avoid it whenever I can because of Bella's aversion to music. Instead, in the silence, I ask her, "so when did you first meet Jacob?"

I glance over to read her expression, the small smile on her face rubbing off onto mine. "I used to play with his older sisters when I lived in Forks off and on. We met again when I first moved back..." she trails off, and I kinda sense the direction she's avoiding talking about. "Actually, he was the first one to tip me off that Edward was a vampire."

Oh! I had forgotten this— Bella had already given me the recap many times before. "Right. He doesn't... know, though, right?" I clarify, my eyes darting between her and the road.

She shakes her head slightly. "No. He thought the legend was made-up."

I could almost sigh in relief. I had been wanting to tell her about the warnings I've felt around him, but it seemed... too late, almost. "I've gotten some... weird tingling around him." I finally say, clearing my throat. "In my head. Like how I feel around vampires, but... not."

Bella laughs quietly, her long brown hair falling over her shoulders with the movement. "I think that would be a crush, Katie."

Heat rises in my cheeks, and I know without looking that I'm blushing. "I'm serious, Bella. It's strange. I've never felt anything like it before."

She stays silent a beat too long, clearly holding back from another remark. "Bella!" I laugh, turning back to her briefly.

"Sorry," she smiles, tucking the stray hair behind her ears again. "I don't know. Do you think it was unrelated?"

"Maybe," I shrug, killing the engine as soon as I make it up Billy's driveway. "But I haven't felt anything in months, so we're about to find out."

Jacob runs up to the car as soon as we step out, throwing his arms wide. "So you're not dead, after all!"

I roll my eyes, shoving a small package at his chest. "Happy belated birthday," I say, nodding towards the present. "I meant to drop this off a few weeks ago."

He beams, tearing the wrapping off of the gift and staring at it in masked confusion. "What's this for?" He asked, dangling the small figuring from his hand. It was a small, hand-painted rabbit in front of a large pine tree. I found it at a bookstore about a month ago, and thought of Jacob. "It's a rabbit! For your Rabbit," I say, indicating the loop to hang it off of his mirror. "Not the most exciting seventeenth birthday gift, but..."

"I love it," he beams again, inspecting the charm closer. "Embry will never let me live it down."

I shrug. "If he gives you crap for it, let me know. I'll buy him one, too."

Bella laughs at that, clearly familiar with Embry. At least enough to recognize him by name. "Seventeen now, huh? Time flies."

"Slow down, cougar," Jacob teases, carefully tucking the figuring back into its box and into his back pocket. "Besides, this one over here's still sixteen."

I shake my head, trying to conceal my smile. "Not for long. I've only got a month to go." Jacob looks at Bella, and they simultaneously shake their heads disapprovingly. "I'm practically older than you, Jacob! I watched my parents die, you remember? That adds, like, ten years of maturity."

Jacob, to his credit, does not balk from my joke. "I'll start working on your car for you. That adds at least 5 years to mine."

I shrug. "So? That means that I'm 5 years older than you. Face the facts."

He pushes my shoulder playfully, sending a distinct charge of electricity into my blood. For a second, I could see a glimpse of the night sky, but as soon as his hand lets go the image is gone. "The facts say that I'm older than you."

Bella smiles despite herself, urging Jacob to show her the progress he's made on the Rabbit. It definitely seems more like a car now, however unknowledgeable I am about the mechanics of it all. Within no time Charlie arrives, Harry Clearwater and his family not far behind.

Throughout the whole night, Bella is smiling. It makes me so happy when I turn to see her smiling like she has no care in the world. The pink has returned to her cheeks, the light returned to her eyes. I missed this Bella so badly. I'm glad she's made so much progress.

Jacob didn't mention one thing— Seth Clearwater was obsessed with him. I mean, absolutely idolizing Jacob. At fourteen, he was still pretty small, but I knew from his long legs and arms he would one day grow to be much taller. Seth had been shy but kind when introducing himself to me, and I could just tell that he was a well-rounded and decent person.

Of course, living in Washington, what broke apart the barbecue was the rain. Before we could leave, Jacob made us promise we'd come back again soon. Bella asked if Monday worked for him, and he seemed genuinely thrilled. I was, too.

The ride home was silent. And for the first time in many months, so were Bella's nightmares.