11: Katie

KATIE'S POVJanuary 20th

It was especially nice weather when I woke up on Monday, rubbing my eyes and shifting in bed. Lately, the lack of sleep had been catching up to me, even if Bella's nightmares weren't as frequent for the last two nights. For the past week or so, my eyes always feel impossibly heavy, begging to be shut most hours of the day. Every time I close my eyes for longer than a blink I practically fall asleep.

On the other hand, I was excited to go back to La Push today. Jacob promised all Bella and I would have to supply is conversation, although I already promised him I'd pay for any parts he needed to fix up my Dad's car. Bella was supposed to come over today, too, but she'd been guilted into helping fundraise with Lauren (cue internal groan), Angela, and Jessica.

All of the seniors had been busy with senior activities, actually— especially Mike. He kept rallying the group into planning more parties and hangouts, excessively overcompensating for the lack of support after the incident.

I resisted the urge to rub my eyes again as I crossed the hallway to my locker. I distractedly pushed the lock up as Angela began watching me struggle. It didn't budge. Must be jammed. I pushed at it with force, exhaling sharply and frowning when it didn't move again. Of course.

"Need help?" Mike laughed, crossing the hallway to where I was about to have a full-blown mental breakdown. "Here," he says, giving the lock a good push. I almost release a sigh of relief as it opens.

"Thanks," I say breathlessly, unable to muster enough energy to do anything else. I can feel Angela watching us from where she's stands, still attempting to mind her business.

Mike stands there, an hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "So, um, do you remember how we were going to see a movie a couple of months ago? I was... well, I was wondering if you still wanted to go see it."

I pull my biology book from its place, sorting through his proposal. "I'm fairly sure that movie isn't in theaters anymore."

He laughs at that, his entire head tilting with the sound. "I... I was just wondering if you still wanted to see a movie together. A different one."

No, I don't. "Like a date? I thought you were dating Jessica again."

He blushes sheepishly, looking around to make sure she wasn't near. "We broke up about a week ago. It didn't work out. But... it doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be. "

I nod slowly, trying to do this in a way that wouldn't hurt his feelings. "I'm not sure that's the best idea. You should ask everyone else if they want to come along."

He blinks in confusion. "Huh?"

I play innocent, looking to Angela. She barely frowns, as if I've confused her, too. "Well, this would be better as a group activity, right? Not a date. You should see if anyone else is interested."

Despite my terrible performance, he's unable to say much about it in front of Angela. "Yeah, uh, sure. Ill ask them what they want to see..." he looks away, his cheeks still slightly pink. "How about that one that's coming out in about a month? With Amy what's-her-name? It'll be around your birthday, right?"

I raise my eyebrow. "My birthday is the 14th."

Mike nods. "We'll go on your birthday, then."

I know he's just choosing this date because it's also Valentine's Day, but I don't say that aloud. I shrug, trying to fight through my drowsiness. "Yeah, sounds good." I grimace slightly, finally digging into the temptation to rub my eyes, before faking a smile and making my way to class.

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After track practice, I feel fine on the drive to La Push, even if my mind and body are practically throbbing with exhaustion. I probably should have cancelled, but I was looking forward to it all. Even if cars weren't exactly an area I was knowledgeable about.

"... and you have to lift up this part to get to that light," Jacob explained to me, unscrewing seemingly random parts of the front of my car. He sets down the screwdriver, looking like he's proud of the progress he's made. "See?"

I try and pay attention, I really do, but my exhaustion has really hit me like a ton of bricks. Besides, it's freezing in the garage, something Jacob probably doesn't notice considering it's his own space. "I'm sorry I'm not much help over here," I say instead, rubbing my eyes again (a terrible habit, I know).

Jacob dismisses my statement with concern, wiping his hands on a towel that's covered with grease. He takes in my position against the wall, slumped down with my head resting on my arm. "Am I boring you?"

I straighten, the movement making me ache. "No! Sorry, I just... I haven't been sleeping well lately."

Jacob averts his eyes, and I'm suddenly glad Quil and Embry aren't here. "Sorry to ask, but... Charlie told my dad that you've been sleeping with Bella every night to help her with her nightmares."

Because he didn't actually ask a question, I almost don't notice that he had trailed off. "I don't mind doing it," I defend, tugging on the sleeves of my sweater to cover my freezing hands.

Jacob smiles slightly, sadly. "You should take care of yourself, too, y'know."

"I am," I say immediately, wrapping my arms around myself. It seems to get colder in here by the minute. "I'm just... busy."

He shakes his head. As he looks back over, I expect to see some disapproving emotion, but his eyes light up as he interprets my body language. "Is it cold in here?"

I scowl at his mocking tone, raising my chin high. "Not all of us release heat like a radiator."

He chuckles, jerking his head to signify that I follow him. "C'mon. Let's do homework or something instead. It'll be warmer inside." Despite his playful tone, he seems... nervous. Hesitant. Like I might refuse.

I follow him, the walk to the house impossibly long, and practically collapse on the couch once we get inside. Jacob offers to make popcorn, leaving me alone in the room for a moment. I close my eyes, trying to regain my composure. You're worrying him. A part of me reminds me that I need to open my eyes again, but I ignore it.

Suddenly, I jolt awake. My dream had seemed so... real. The giant wolf was clearly fantasy, because no wolf could be possibly be that big, but the woods around it were identical to the ones in Forks. It was strange. I take in my unfamiliar surroundings and realize I'm still on Jacob's couch. He's bent over an assignment, writing furiously, but looks up when he hears me move.

Heat floods my cheeks, my embarrassment getting the better of me. How had I fallen asleep?! "OhmygodIfellasleepIamsosorry—" I blurt guiltily, resisting the urge to bolt.

He laughs, surprising me, and shakes his head gently. "It's okay. You clearly needed it."

"I am a terrible person," I groan, gesturing to him. "I fell asleep! And you were stuck doing... Pre Calculus?" I confirm, looking over his shoulder.

Jacob beams at me. "I could have woken you up. But, being the gentleman I am..."

I punch him in the arm, not bothering to be soft, and I'm sure it hurt me more than I just hurt him. "Woah." My eyes widen and I have to remind myself not to look crazy. "Been hitting the gym?"

"Something like that," he agrees, stuffing his work into a folder on his lap.

I glance around, trying to see if Jacob has a clock visible anywhere, with no luck. "Hey, what time is it?"

Jacob shrugs. "Billy got home about an hour ago, so I'd guess around eight?"

That makes me sit up straight. "I need to get home, Charlie's probably worried sick—"

Jacob shakes his head at me, a shy smile playing on his lips. He stands up, holding out a hand to help me up. "Billy already called him. C'mon, I'll drive you home."

"I'll be fine." I avoid his outstretched palm, just in case. There was no way I'd want to activate my powers at the moment— I was already embarrassed enough. God, why was I so stupid? So careless as to fall asleep? I was a terrible friend. I wouldn't blame him if he stopped inviting me over.

It's Jacob's turn to blush, his hand creeping up rub the back of his neck in a guilty gesture. "Well, I kind-of agreed that I'd come over for a late dinner. And, if you don't mind, you can just leave your car here. It'll be easier to work on that way."

I think about his offer, then settle. I hardly ever drive my car, exclusively from home to La Push, so why not just leave it here? Bella could drive me up here when we wanted to hang out with Jacob, and if she was busy and I needed to come up she'd let me borrow the truck.  "Eight is pretty late for dinner," I challenge, fighting a yawn.

His grin became lopsided again, drawing me in. "Well, it'll be eight-thirty once we get there. C'mon."

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The ride home mainly consists of Jacob cracking jokes and me challenging then, almost completely forgetting about the exhaustion coursing through my being. Talking with Jacob was always easy. Every conversation was so natural— it never felt faked, or rushed, or awkward. He always had something to say, or at least knew how to fill a silence so that it was comfortable. Jacob could just look at me and it felt like nothing else existed.

I shuddered against the thought. Talking with Johnathan had felt that way, too. But while Johnathan had made my heart thrill, Jacob was like a breath of fresh air. Much less pressure.

Much less danger.

Dinner, while brief, cements the plan that Bella and I will come over again tomorrow to work on the car more. I know Charlie's pleased, although I'm not sure if it's for Bella's sake or mine. Jacob leaves, and as soon as he's gone I drag myself into the shower, attempting to let the warm water wash away all of my worries. Just off the top of my head, I can think of about a million things I'm dreading that are coming up.

One of these aforementioned dreaded activities is that we are doing blood typing in biology soon. Another is that I somehow agreed to some strange bonfire thing that Angela told Bella and I about (and that I had been perfectly fine with a few weeks ago, but was regretting now). As if that wasn't enough, I had also accidentally deflected this whole movie thing with Mike until just before my seventeenth birthday, when I should have just told him "no."

At least I will be back at La Push tomorrow.

As soon as I'm out of the shower, I throw on the first pair of pajamas I can see, which ends up being an old t-shirt and tattered pants. I practically collapse onto Bella's mattress and fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.

Again, the wolf is the focus of my dreams.

It tilts its head at me, as if to challenge me. I told my head back, observing how it's reddish fur glints under the moonlight. Maybe it's because I've been here before, but the whole scene looks familiar. The trees, the wolf... but especially it's eyes. I know I've seen those before. I take a hesitant step closer, determined to investigate.

Before I can get closer to the wolf, it turns away from me, rising onto its haunches. Strangely, this wolf, even from afar, seems to be tall— taller than me. I didn't know much about wolves, but I knew this was an unnaturally large one. It slinked off into the trees, leaving me alone in the darkness.

Before the silence of the night consumes me, I am awoken by a piercing scream.

"Bella, shhhh," I coo softly, rubbing a finger up and down her arm. "It's just a dream." Her eyes shoot open, clearly panicked, but calms as soon as she sees my face. She gasps for air, both of us panting, and I tuck my head onto her shoulder. I whisper again, "just a dream."