❗ CHAPTER 09 :: ❗

Sunghoon woke up to silence.

The kind of silence that felt intentional. Like the room was holding its breath, waiting for him to notice something had changed.

He turned his head and looked across the room.

Sunoo's bed was empty.

At first, it didn't register. Maybe he was just in the kitchen. Maybe in the bathroom. But when Sunghoon sat up, he saw the folded note resting on the edge of the blanket. His heart sank before he even touched it.

He picked it up slowly.

> "I just need to clear my head. I'm safe. I promise."

No explanation. No "I'll be back soon." No name at the end.

Just distance in the form of a few careful words.

Sunghoon swallowed hard, fingers curling around the note like it might disappear if he let go.

He should have expected it. After last night's talk, after everything that had been said and everything that hadn't.

Sunoo was always the one caught in the middle.

And Sunghoon hated that part of him still wanted Sunoo to choose.

Even now.

Even when it hurt.

He got out of bed and moved through the dorm slowly, each room empty. He wasn't there. Of course he wasn't. Sunoo didn't just need space - he needed to escape the weight of the two hearts waiting on him.

Sunghoon leaned against the kitchen counter, staring at the tiled floor.

Then he laughed.

A bitter, breathless laugh.

"I'm such an idiot."

He had told himself he would wait. That he understood. That love was about patience and time and faith.

But deep down, he had still hoped. That when Sunoo reached out last night, when he held his hand, that maybe... just maybe it meant something more.

Something final.

He ran a hand through his hair, eyes burning.

It wasn't Jake's fault.

Jake had been kind. Steady. Safe.

Maybe even safer than Sunghoon could ever be.

That thought made his chest ache.

Because he wanted to be Sunoo's safe place too.

But maybe he was just the one who felt things too loudly. Who loved with too many sharp edges. Who said the truth too directly, without softening it the way Jake always did.

Still, he never lied about his feelings.

He never pretended it didn't hurt.

He loved Sunoo with all the reckless honesty he had. And now, he didn't even know if that was enough.

He looked at the clock.

How long had Sunoo been gone?

Was he alone? Crying somewhere? Holding Jake's hand?

The last thought nearly crushed him.

But he shook it off.

Because this wasn't about jealousy anymore.

It was about loss.

And the terrifying possibility that maybe - just maybe - Sunoo would come back changed.

Different.

Decided.

And maybe the decision wouldn't be him.

---

That afternoon, Sunghoon grabbed his coat and left the dorm too. He didn't know where he was going. He just knew he couldn't stay still.

He ended up walking for hours, through familiar streets, past coffee shops they used to laugh in, past the bench where Sunoo once fell asleep on his shoulder, too tired to make it back home.

Every step was heavy with memories.

He sat down on a random park bench and stared at the sky.

"I'm not going to fight for you," he said out loud, even though no one was around.

"Not because I don't love you. But because I want to be chosen without a fight."

His voice broke at the last word.

He buried his face in his hands.

And for the first time since Sunoo left, Sunghoon cried.

Alone.

Not because Sunoo had left.

But because loving someone didn't always mean you were the one they came back to.