❗ CHAPTER 08 :: ❗

Sunoo didn't sleep that night.

He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the sound of Sunghoon's breathing across the room. It was steady now. Peaceful. But Sunoo knew what it cost.

That conversation earlier had left his heart raw. Sunghoon's words still echoed in his chest.

"I don't love you any less, even now."

It was the kind of love that made you ache. The kind that stayed even when it shouldn't.

But Jake was in his heart too. That gentle touch. That steady kindness. The way he never asked for anything yet gave so much.

Sunoo had tried to imagine a world where he could have both.

But that wasn't real.

So, the next morning, Sunoo slipped out of the dorm quietly. He left a note behind on his bed, just in case anyone woke up early.

> "I just need to clear my head. I'm safe. I promise."

No one tried to stop him. He walked the streets of Seoul with a hoodie pulled over his head and his mask on. It was cloudy, almost as if the sky knew what he was feeling. Heavy. Uncertain.

He ended up at the riverside, sitting on a cold bench as the wind tugged gently at his sleeves.

And he cried.

Not loudly. Not dramatically.

Just quiet, exhausted tears.

He didn't hear footsteps behind him until someone sat down beside him.

He didn't need to look to know who it was.

Jake.

"Figured I'd find you here," Jake said softly.

Sunoo turned, eyes red. "You followed me?"

Jake shook his head. "No. I just... I guessed. I've been here before. When I needed to breathe."

They sat in silence for a long moment.

Then Sunoo whispered, "I don't deserve you."

Jake let out a soft breath. "I don't think love is about deserving. It's about... who makes you feel safe. Who makes you feel like you."

Sunoo wiped his eyes. "You both do. In different ways."

Jake nodded. "And I think that's okay."

Sunoo looked at him, really looked at him. Jake had always been so steady, so grounded. The kind of person who made silence feel like comfort, not punishment.

"You knew I wouldn't choose, didn't you?" Sunoo asked.

Jake hesitated, then said, "I hoped you would. But I also knew you might not. Not yet."

Sunoo looked down at his hands. "I think part of me hoped one of you would let go first. So I wouldn't have to choose."

Jake gave a small, sad smile. "But neither of us did."

"I don't know how to love without hurting someone."

Jake's voice was soft. "Then maybe start by loving yourself. Really loving yourself. Enough to be honest with what you want."

Sunoo looked out at the water. "What if I don't even know what I want?"

"Then don't choose yet," Jake said. "Not because you're afraid. But because you're still becoming the version of yourself that knows."

That silence returned again. But this time, it was healing.

Jake gently reached over and held Sunoo's hand. Not in a way that begged for anything. Just offering warmth.

And Sunoo let him.

For the first time in days, Sunoo let go of the pressure, the guilt, the voices inside his head.

He didn't have to decide right now.

He just had to breathe.

And Jake stayed with him.

Not as a choice to be made.

But as someone who loved him, even if it hurt.