xviii

Yuzuru's POV

It was like my mind got clouded with disappointment, anger, and confusion all at the same time. Why is she thinking that I can't do it? Out of all people, she should be the one to encourage me, not hold me back.

In the heat of the moment, I didn't regret saying the words I just said to Luna. It was true. I know I could do a quad lutz here at the NHK. I have to. The Grand Prix Finals are coming up and even though I know I'll qualify, I still have a name to uphold. 

I didn't realize that for the past few months, I've been greatly distracted by Luna Saito. Some may say its a good thing that I'm taking things easier because she's there to keep me from becoming the perfectionist I once was. 

But then, something in me just snapped right before I entered the rink today. It may have been the pressure of living up to the name Yuzuru Hanyu, the world recognizes as the best skater of all time.

After being called out by Coach Brian, I scoffed and skated away from them nonchalantly. I have never let anyone see this side of me. Even my family has never seen me like this. 

As I was preparing to practice my jumps, in my mind, all I care about now is perfecting my performance for tomorrow's short program.

However, I can never forget the look on Luna's face after everything I said. 

Her mouth slightly agape from shock.

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion.

Her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes, sparkling as tears were threatening to fall.

Her body cowering in fear.

What have I done?

I shook my head and get the image out of my mind. I can't afford any distractions. After circling around the rink, I prepare to do the quad lutz.

As I was about to take off, my eyes couldn't help but look back at the rinkside. Why is everyone crowding around her?

And without thinking, I jumped. 

It all happened so fast. All of a sudden, I was laying down flat on the ice. I wiped out. Bad. 

I try propping myself up but immediately, pain shot through my right ankle and I just lay there helpless. 

All I heard were my own groans and whimpers, as well as Jason shouting for the medics. I struggle opening my eyes from the unbearable pain emanating from my ankle. 

Everything was a blur and my consciousness was failing me as I get carried on a stretcher, into the ambulance, going to the hospital.

All this happening and the only thing that still lingers in my mind is Luna's face crying.

Because of me.

Luna's POV

"GET A MEDIC! YUZURU'S HURT!" Jason's voice echoed throughout the stadium and before I knew it, my feet moved without thinking and I ran across the rink where Yuzu was whimpering.

Kneeling down, I was scared to touch him seeing how fragile he looked. I don't want to cause any more inconveniences. After all, I do hold him back.

I shook the thought away as I hold back my sobs. Seeing Yuzu so vulnerable and suffering in pain made my heart ache so much. 

He was in so much pain, it seems he is not aware of what's happening around him.

In less than 3 minutes, medics were already here, ready to do first aid on his ankle before carrying him onto the stretcher. 

"Luna. You stay here first. I'll accompany Yuzu in the ambulance. You guys can follow later once practice is done. You hear me?" Coach Brian said strictly but still with worry plastered on his face. Of course. He treats Yuzu like his own son.

"But-"

"Please, Luna." Coach Brian just replied as I was about to complain. I just nodded as I saw his eyes soften as if pleading me to not make things more complicated. 

"We'll take care of her Coach." Javi said as he put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah. Coach Tracy's here so we'll manage. Yuzu needs you." Zhenya said to Coach Brian as he just smiled before running after the ambulance. 

I'm trembling. I couldn't even say words to comfort him, to let him know I was there. I was about to cry once again but I held it back and faced Jason.

"What happened out there?" 

"Well, I was just circling around the rink and I kinda overheard your argument. When I saw everyone gathering around you, I was about to follow when I saw Yuzu look at your guys' direction right before taking off for a quad lutz. It seems like it was under-rotated and he twisted his right ankle pretty badly..." Jason explained.

So it was my fault. Once again, it was my fault and I held him back. Now because of me, he might not be able to compete in the Grand Prix final, or worse, the Olympics.

I just stand there with Zhenya, Javi, Jason, and Coach Tracy giving me apologetic looks. Meanwhile, I just stood there not knowing what to think anymore.

Am I this big of a burden to everyone? All I wanted was to skate. I didn't mean to cause this much problem.

"Oh Luna its not your fa-" Zhenya said as she was about to hug me. But I just stepped backward.

"I need to go out." I said as I walk away from them, heading towards who-knows-where. 

I dialed my Uncle's phone and soon after 5 rings, he picks up.

"Uncle..."

I hear him sigh on the other line and say"I'll text you the address"

-timeskip-

At the hospital

It is now 11 PM and I am here in Yuzu's hospital room. He still hasn't woken up from his surgery this morning. 

To say I am worried is an understatement. I am absolutely terrified. We have yet to hear from the doctors about his condition as soon as Yuzu wakes up. When that happens, I want to be here. Its my fault he's here in this stupid hospital after all. I had to plead my Uncle to let me stay though. As soon as I got here this morning, I got scolded because I didn't want to attend practice anymore. 

It didn't feel right that I get to skate while Yuzu can't.

Though I didn't attend practice, I assured Uncle Brian I'll still compete. How?  I don't know, exactly. All I know is that I have to be here and wait for Yuzu to wake up. The doctors said he'll wake up soon anyway.

I lean forward on Yuzu's bed, admiring his peaceful face void of any emotions, way different after his accident as he hold onto his ankle for dear life.

I hold his hand firmly, caressing it lightly as if comforting him and saying he'll be okay. How pathetic. This is the only thing I can do.

I was about to speak to him while he's asleep when he started to talk unconsciously,

"No... no. Its her fault... her..." 

My eyes widen as I slowly let go of his hand. Its like he said. It really is my fault. 

I feel numb. I could feel my heartbeat quicken its pace as I try so hard not to let the tears fall for the millionth time today. 

Everything is falling apart.

I stood there not knowing what to do when I heard a ruffle of the sheets. I look down and saw Yuzu slowly gaining consciousness. As he slowly flutter his eyes open, I quickly rush to the door, went to the nurses' station and notified them that the patient is awake. The nurses then rushed towards the room while contacting the doctor.

I called Uncle Brian who was at the canteen downstairs probably getting some coffee. 

"Uncle, he's awake."

As soon as I said those words, I immediately dropped the call and walking away from the room.

Walking away from Yuzuru Hanyu. 

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Aaaaaand cut! Here is today's update, chapter 18! I hope you're liking the story so far!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 2.8K READS OMG I NEVER WOULD'VE THOUGHT ANYONE WOULD BE READING THIS. Thank you to those who read from the beginning and are still here 🥺 Thank you as well to those who just recently found this book and I hope you guys are satisfied 🤍 my writing is not good I know but I just do this for fun because of the random storylines that just pop out of my head and I wanted to share them with the people who might enjoy them 😌

ANYWAY,I want you guys to comment here. Would you like a happy ending or a sad ending? Just want to know your thoughts. I can't promise I'd follow your suggestions though because it'd depend on my mood on the day I'll be writing it HAHAHAHA evil. 

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