xvii

November 9, 2017    -   6 AM

Luna's POV

I don't know how long I've been here but the wrinkles on my toes and fingers are proof that I've stayed in this bath for too long. What have I been thinking about?

Before I drown once again in my own thoughts, I feel the water losing its warmth as I can no longer see any steam rising up from it. I heaved a sigh before I stood up, got a towel, and dried myself. Training starts in a little less than an hour so I have to move. 

I finish dressing up, not forgetting to apply makeup that will mask the paleness of my skin. Suddenly, I found myself staring at the mirror, a nude lipstick on my right hand. 

Ever since I met Yuzuru, I don't think he's ever seen me without makeup. Well, except for that incident a few days ago back at home when he almost saw my deathly pale face.

Maybe this is why I took so long to take a bath. Looking back, random thoughts like this probably popped up inside my head; questions that will possibly never be answered; situations that will possibly never happen.

And all I can do is smile about it because I can't do anything. 

Even if there IS something I can do, I won't do it. My fate has been decided and I already accept it. Right?

As I finish up, I head out the bathroom, grab my trolley bag and get ready to leave when a ding came from my phone.

It was a text message.

From : Yuzu-kun 🍯

6:30 AM

Morning hime. You didn't go down for breakfast

today?

6:30

Morning Yuzu-kun! Yeah, I think I ate too much last night.

I got Zhenya to pick some bread and coffee for me tho so no worries.

6:31

Are you okay?? You see that's why coach said to lay off too

much food you lil hard-headed hime. 

6:32

Whatever Pooh beaaar. I'll be down in a few. See ya 💋

I clutch my phone after I sent the message. Another lie. I actually didn't eat because I have no appetite and I told Zhenya I would get room service but I didn't. I'll just grab something to eat when I get hungry.

At Osaka Municipal Central Gymnasium  -  8 AM

Phew. It's a good thing neither Zhenya nor Yuzu made too much of a big deal about my breakfast lie earlier. I told the same lie to my Uncle and Coach Tracy too. If I told them I didn't eat, they'd probably never let me leave the hotel to train today and we wouldn't want that with tomorrow's competition coming up. I also assured them that "drank" my medicine just so they would get off my tail. I swear, they overreact sometimes. 

Back to the situation at hand, it seems that today's training schedule is different. Apparently, the male skaters are the first ones to be training followed by the women so me and Zhenya still have a bit of free time.

"Hey Zhenya. I saw a Starbucks outside about a 6-minute walk from here. Want to grab some coffee?" I said as we place our bags inside the lockers.

"Coffee? I thought you got room service this morning?" Zhenya said as she stopped fumbling with her bag to look at me.

Oh shit.

"Yeah I did get room service. I didn't get coffee though, just orange juice and some pastries." Quick thinking, Luna. You deserve a pat in the back. I honestly never thought I could lie to someone's face right now without even stuttering.

"Oh okay then. Let's go?" She smiled right away after I cleared up the situation.

We walked down the hallway and saw Uncle Brian and Coach Tracy outside what appears to be the men's locker room where Yuzu and Jason were staying. 

"Hello dear Uncle and hi Coach Tracy. Me and Zhenya will just go buy some coffee outside. You guys want anything?" I asked as we stopped by.

"No we're good. We had some this morning at the hotel for breakfast. Be back quick though." Coach Tracy said as Uncle just waved a hand at me and went straight to Yuzu probably for some pointers before going on the ice. 

My eyes then went to Yuzu who looked up to me after he finished tying his skates. I just look at him fondly while he gazes back at me with his adorable smiling eyes.

"EHEEEEM. Are we going to leave or you're just going to have a staring contest with your boyfriend?" Zhenya said, making me be the first one to break our eye contact. 

"Oh my gosh Zhenya you're so dramatic. Get yourself a boyfriend already, I heard Nathan Chen likes you." I teased her as I walked first leaving her with a dumbfounded face.

"WAIT REALLY?! HEY WAIT FOR ME TELL ME MORE!" Zhenya shouted after me as I hear her trail behind me. 

-timeskip-

It was finally Yuzu's group's turn and here I am with my Uncle in the sidelines, clutching Yuzu's Pooh tissue box.

Out of nowhere, I feel my stomach drop for no reason. I am anxious. But about what?

I suddenly lean towards my Uncle and whisper,

"Do you think he's going to land it here?" I asked, referring to the quad lutz.

"I know he will. He's been nailing it back home for several times after having a short slump." 

With that statement, I can't help but look at Yuzu as he was warming up across the rink.

He looks more determined today.

After a few more minutes, he went to the rink side to talk to Coach Brian while I just sit back and listen to their conversation.

"I feel like I can land it today." Yuzu declared as he gazed back at the other skaters, water bottle on the right hand and the other on his hip. 

There it is again, an unknown feeling and a tingle in my stomach. I don't think its a good idea.

"I know you can, Yuzu. Go ahead and practice your jumps." Coach instructed. Yuzu was about to skate away but I stood up immediately.

"Wait Yuzu!" I said as I went near them.

"I don't think you should do it." I said without hesitation.

"Nani?" Yuzu just looked back at me with confusion plastered all over his face and Coach having the same expression.

"I said I don't think you should do it. I don't th-" I got cut-off mid-sentence with a tone I never heard from Yuzu before.

"Why?" His confused expression replaced with that of anger. 

"B-because.." Is this even Yuzuru?

"Because what Luna? Spit it out, I don't like wasting time." Yuzu snapped.

"Because I-I don't think i-its a good idea, Yuzu. I f-feel like-"

Yuzu scoffed and said "You feel like? Feel? Well that's kind of dumb don't you think? Basing one's ability with a gut feeling. Is it because you don't think I can do it? Huh, Luna? And back at home you were cheering me on too. Was that a lie?"

Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes. My breathing got shallow. How can he think that? How can he think I lied about supporting him and cheering him on?

"It wasn't a lie, Yuzu-kun. I just think you shouldn't do it today..." I trailed off as I look down at my feet, trying to stop the waterworks.

"And you think that's enough reason for me not to do it? Just because you said so? Hahaha. Stop holding me back, Luna." He said as I jolted my head up and looking straight at me with no emotions at all.

"Yuzu! Stop it. She was just worried about you." Coach Brian intervened before Yuzu could say more. And with that, Yuzu scoffed once again and skated away from us.

Stop holding me back. 

Stop holding me back. 

Stop holding me back. 

Stop holding me back. 

Stop holding me back. 

The words echoed inside my head. I'm holding him back? I thought as I stumbled backward a little bit, my heart beating at a fast pace and my knees buckling as I dropped the Pooh tissue box when I felt arms catching me. 

"You okay, chica?" Javi said as he supported me from falling backwards. Zhenya and Coach Tracy followed suit. Apparently they heard our "little" argument.

"T-thanks. Y-yes, I'm fine." I said. But as I said this, I started to clutch my chest as I feel my heart ache. What is this feeling?

The people surrounding me saw this gesture and started bombarding me with questions that were being drowned out by the words Yuzu let go of earlier. I hear nothing but Yuzuru's emotionless voice over and over inside my head when my thoughts got cut off by a shout from the rink.

"GET A MEDIC! YUZURU'S HURT!"

And time stopped.

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Aaaaaand cut! That was chapter 17 everyone! I'm sorry for being back after so long. As I am writing this right now, I am currently on a break from reviewing for my finals on January 5th. So yeah, I still can't guarantee consistent uploads. Hope you guys forgive me but I'll try to upload as much as I can.

Also, I have a plot for another story that I am planning to publish soon, probably after my finals. I won't give any hints but I'll just say it is a BTS fanfiction with Kim Seokjin as the main protagonist!!! 

Anyway, that's it for today's upload. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Happy New Year everyone!!! Please stay safe and if you have any problems in life, I'm willing to listen. Besides, I'm just a stranger that writes fanfictions about Yuzuru Hanyu and BTS right? :)

Stay golden, my lovelies! ✨