12 || GRACE

Playing a game of never have I ever with Lucifer himself, in her dreams, while floating down a lazy river wasn't something Vanessa could have ever imagined. Yet here she was.

"Okay, uh... Never have I ever been to Hell." Vanessa also had to put a finger down as she too had been to Hell, but there wasn't much she could say that would make Lucifer put his finger down. And she wanted to win.

"Guilty, okay... Never have I ever become a prophet of dad." Lucifer grinned at Vanessa as she frowned, putting her finger down. She only became a prophet to save Kevin, she didn't want this.

"Never have I ever betrayed my father by twisting a human soul to create the very first demon." Vanessa knew she'd crossed a line when Lucifer's face fell.

"That's not nice." Lucifer was almost pouting. You know, for the supposed ruler of all evil, he's very sensitive.

"I'm sorry... don't- Luci come back." Vanessa began to try and chase after him, which wasn't easy when she was floating atop a lazy river in a rubber ring.

"Oh no, I'm paddling away." Lucifer called back, making Vanessa laugh a little as his childish behaviour. Who knew the devil could actually be fun to be around. She hadn't had this much fun in her dreams... ever.

"Luci I'm sorry, I know you regret that now... I shouldn't have brought it up." Vanessa said sympathetically, she really didn't mean to bring it up it just kind of slipped out in the heat of the game.

Lucifer came to a stop when Vanessa managed to grab the handle of his rubber ring, making hers bounce off his with a squeaking noise. He turned to her, arms crossed and a frown on his face.

"You owe me for that." He pointed at her and she rolled her eyes, sighing. This angel really was so dramatic at times. Those who thought Crowley was dramatic, had clearly never spent their dreams hanging out with Lucifer in a water park.

"Fine, what do you want?"

"I want you to tell me something. Something from the future. From that little box that Dad has locked me out of." Lucifer said and Vanessa almost went to speak before he stopped her. "I know he's stopping me from seeing things and I know you're talking to him... I can hear him sometimes when he's in your head... Not the words exactly, just his presence almost... Just tell me something, one little thing. Please?"

Vanessa sighed, watching as Lucifer literally batted his eyelashes at her. Surely this wasn't the real Lucifer, it couldn't be. The real Lucifer would never look at her like this. But it was and Vanessa didn't know whether she was glad or disturbed about just how nice and sometimes polite he could be.

"What do you know? What have you seen?" Vanessa wasn't sure what all Chuck was blocking from Lucifer, so she didn't know what to tell him that he didn't already know.

"After the angels fall it's a little fuzzy." Lucifer squinted his eyes as he said fuzzy, watching as Vanessa chewed on the skin of her lip to see what she could tell him.

She couldn't tell him about Jack or the apocalypse world Michael. Couldn't tell him about Amara and he already knew about Gabriel so that was off the list. What could she tell him that wouldn't make him angry, sad or desperate to bust out of the Cage?

"I know where angels and demons go when they die." Did Lucifer know about that? She had no idea, but she was about to find out.

"Really? Where?" Guess he didn't.

"It's called The Empty. After you die you go there and sleep for the rest of eternity. It's like a black, endless void of nothingness, hence the name. Empty."

"Interesting... And you saw this place, in the show? You saw the Empty?" Lucifer asked intrigued, paddling closer to her so they were side by side.

"Mhm." Vanessa nodded, not sure how to explain the reasoning behind why they'd shown the Empty as that involved Jack.

"Back when we first met, you told me you see me die... Which means I got out of the cage again, correct?" Vanessa nodded. "Does my death have anything to do with why you were shown the Empty?"

"A little, yes. Your old vessel, Nick, he tried to resurrect you and he almost did until he was killed. We see you in the Empty, well not you fully, just your eyes." Vanessa remembered clearly the scene of Lucifer's piercing red eyes waking up in the empty, it was one of the few scenes from those last few seasons of the show she actually remembered.

"Let me guess, the Winchesters?" Lucifer said their name with a tone that suggested he was fed up with them. Which he was. First they locked him back in his Cage and now they kept waking Vanessa up in the middle of their fun dream adventures. Not cool.

No actually, your son. Is what Vanessa really wanted to say, but she couldn't.

"Aye, the Winchesters." Vanessa nodded, it was only a little lie, a white lie. That wasn't enough to make her feel bad... Almost.

"Speaking of the Winchesters..." Lucifer almost spat the name out. "They're trying to wake you up, I guess our fun times are over." He seemed almost sad to have to see Vanessa go, he didn't like waiting for her to fall asleep again. He didn't know how much more of Michael mumbling to himself he could take.

"I better wake up then... When I come back, will you tell me where the demon tablet is?"

"Maybe. If I'm feeling nice." Lucifer shrugged, a small grin forming on his face before Vanessa woke up...

"Jeez, you'd think you were dead when you were asleep." Dean mumbled, moving back from her as he'd been the one trying to wake her up.

"Why am I on the sofa?" Vanessa yawned, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. She didn't remember much about last night, but she had a feeling it had something to do with her notes on Leviathans and old episodes of Father Ted she'd found on YouTube. Bless you FatherTedFan262.

"You fell asleep watching... something, I don't know what it was, while you were busy scribbling away at your DaVinci Code." Dean pointed towards the papers that lay next to her, neatly piled which she could only assume was Sam's doing.

"Sounds about right." Vanessa said while stretching, her back cracking as she did.

"Remember anything else?"

"Nothing Leviathan related, no." Vanessa stood up, her knees cracking as she did. Ever since she'd arrived in this universe, she felt as though she'd aged about fifty years.

"Case related then?" Dean asked, he knew Vanessa remembered certain random cases the guys had worked and she had even made them a binder full of all the different ones she could remember.

All sorts of little details she thought might come in handy, once the time came for them to work the case, was written in the binder, in English... For once. The time hadn't come for them to work any cases yet and Dean was starting to get antsy, but Vanessa promised they'd have something to do soon.

In the meantime they were on Leviathan watch as Vanessa had warned them that Edgar might be popping by soon to commit arson, break Dean's leg and give Sam one hell of a concussion.

"Not case related either... It's just something random, nothing of use to us right now." Vanessa told him and Dean nodded, he knew not to ask questions.

The thing she remembered actually was case related, and it was one that came after Edgar paid them a visit. It was the case involving Sam's old friend Amy, who was some kind of monster that Vanessa couldn't quite remember. But what she did remember was that Amy had started killing again because her son was sick, something Sam understood which is why he let her live. Dean didn't and he killed her, but Vanessa was certain Amy would stop killing after her son got better so she didn't see the point in telling the boys about it. It would only cause an argument. And they had bigger things to worry about than Amy killing a few drug dealers.

"Where's Sam and Bobby?" Vanessa asked as she tidied up her notes, placing them back into their corresponding season in her new binder. It was green and had frogs on it.

"Supply run." Dean replied, slumping down onto the sofa. "Oh, and Balthazar dropped that off for you." He pointed towards a cardboard box and watched as Vanessa's eyes lit up. He knew it was more food and whatnot from Ireland, something she'd been getting frequently from both Balthazar and Crowley.

"Finally!" Vanessa exclaimed, ripping open the box and pulling out a large bag of PG Tips teabags. "I've been using the same three teabags for two days... I thought I'd have to go without tea for a while."

Dean just stared at the bag, it was massive and probably held about two hundred teabags which would do Vanessa about a month, which he couldn't help but think was way too short a timeframe for a bag that size. But she did drink about four cups of tea a day so he wasn't surprised she went through them like crazy.

The back door opened, Sam and Bobby had returned from their supply run, brown paper bags in their hands.

"I see you're finally awake." Bobby mumbled, looking over in Vanessa's direction as he dumped the bags onto the counter.

"Only took me about ten minutes to wake her. I thought she was dead." Dean said with a scoff, making Vanessa wince a little. She'd never been a heavy sleeper but ever since that little bit of Lucifer's grace hitched a ride with her, she'd found it hard to wake up.

Something told her it was Lucifer's doing as he always hated when she had to wake up, but she was human... She needed to wake up. And she had lives to save, you can't exactly do that when you're asleep.

She also hadn't told the guys about her little dream adventures with the devil. She knew they'd wouldn't like it and she really didn't want them to lecture her about it. That and she was scared that if she mentioned Lucifer then Sam's wall might start to crack and she wasn't about to risk that. So for now, it was her little secret.

"Hey." Sam leaned down to give Vanessa a kiss as she sat on the floor, unpacking her Irish gift box as they called it. "More snacks?"

"More snacks." Vanessa repeated with a smile as she held up a one kilogram bag of Cadbury's mini eggs. "Balthazar went all out this time, he jumbo sized everything." Every single item was like those giant bags of sweets and chocolate you can get at the airport... Not that Vanessa was complaining. Something told her Balthazar might have actually gotten them from the airport... She'd never seen these sizes of bags outside of one.

"I can see that." Sam chuckled, the giant family pack of Tayto cheese and onion was a dead giveaway that Balthazar went a little rouge. But at least they last Vanessa longer, maybe... She tended to be unstoppable when it came to crisps, it was like an addiction for her.

"Does that mean you'll share?" Dean perked up a little, he was a big fan of whatever the hell Mini Eggs were and he was really hoping to get his hands on some more.

"Maybe. If you behave." Vanessa warned, pointing at him to which he saluted and promised to be on his best behaviour.

At that moment the front door burst open and Castiel rushed in, his usual trench coat back on and flapping in the wind. He had been on Leviathan watch, walking the perimeter of Bobby's and the look on his face told them all they were about to have company.

"We have company." Castiel said seriously, proving Vanessa's inner thoughts right.

"Edgar?" Vanessa asked, getting to her feet and arming herself with a super soaker filled with cleaning solution.

"I think so. From your description, it seems like it." Castiel nodded, accepting his own water gun with a furrow of his brow. He was an angel of the lord and he was fighting off ancient beasts with a water gun. How times have changed.

"Everyone arm up. You know what to do." Dean nodded, slipping a machete into his belt before grabbing his own cleaning solution filled water gun.

Vanessa crept over to the window and her heart literally stopped at what she saw. What she saw in Edgar's hand.

"Uh, guys..." Vanessa gulped, her hands shaking and the water gun falling from them.

"Ness? What is it?" Sam approached her and his eyes found what hers did. "Oh crap."

Edgar was literally holding a rocket launcher. Where the fuck did the Levithans get hold of a rocket launcher?! Was this how he did it in the show? No, it couldn't have been, Bobby's house had been burned to ash, that's not what rocket launchers did. Or did they? Vanessa had no idea. The Irish weren't exactly know for their rocket launchers.

"Where'd they get that?!" Dean exclaimed, joining Vanessa and Sam at the window to see what all the fuss was about.

"I have no idea but he's loading it so we need to move. Now." Sam grabbed hold of Vanessa and those inside barrelled towards the back door. But not before Vanessa grabbed her notes from the table. Thank God she'd put them all in a binder, made for easier carrying that way.

A loud explosion rang through their ears as the first rocket hit Bobby's house, smashing through an upstairs window and taking Vanessa's room with it. Which was awesome.

"No, no, no! I swore I'd save Bobby's house." Vanessa cried out, being held back by Sam as she tried to run back to the house, to do God knows what, none of them really knew.

"My house don't matter, you do! Now let's go!" Bobby yelled and the five of them soon found themselves out of the scrapyard and falling to the floor of Rufus' house.

Thank God for Castiel and his ability to fly.

"What in the damn hell?" Rufus exclaimed, jumping at the new guests that had just appeared in his living room and made him spill his soup.

"No! Dammit!" Vanessa groaned, her eyes watering as she leaned against Sam's chest. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. The Leviathans were supposed to leave them alone since they hadn't gone near them.

"It's okay, Ness. We're safe. It's fine." Sam said soothingly as he held her, watching as she gripped her binder so tight her knuckles went whiter than usual.

"It's not fine! This isn't how this was supposed to go. I promised- I-"

"Kid, listen. This ain't your fault, you did everything you could to prepare us for Edgar but you couldn't have known he'd show up with a damn rocket launcher-"

"A what?"

"-My house ain't what matters here. What matters is that we're safe. Which we are. So quit your whining and get up." Bobby said sternly, more sternly than Sam would have liked him to be but it turns out it was exactly what Vanessa needed to hear as she was soon up on her feet and wiping her eyes.

"Would one of you care to explain what they hell you're doing here?" Rufus asked, still in shock over their sudden appearance and the words 'rocket launcher'.

"Leviathans." Castiel responded, not adding much more detail to that but Rufus seemed to get the gist.

"Leviathans. With a rocket launcher? Where the hell did they get a damn rocket launcher?" Rufus asked the question all of them wanted to know.

"Target maybe. Walmart? I don't know, okay. They never showed how Edgar burned Bobby's house down, I just assumed he committed his act of arson the normal way, with petrol. I'm as shocked as you lot are." Vanessa replied, still holding her binder close to her chest as if she was afraid she'd lose it.

"Crap. The blood for the weapon was back at the house. If they got in then they got the blood." Sam said, only adding to their problems before Vanessa reminded them that Crowley had a back-up. "And everything else? Bobby's books, research, everything?"

"He's got copies stashed all over the place." Vanessa waved a hand towards Bobby who nodded, not surprised she knew about that. "And Rufus is still here. I'm sure he has lore books and that. I'm just glad they decided to attack before Lucifer told me where the demon tablet was, other wise..." Her words faded into a laugh that said 'I don't even want to think about that'.

"Before what?" Sam's two words made Vanessa's face drop a little.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She didn't mean to say that.

"Hold up, Lucifer? How could Lucifer tell you where the... whatever you just said is?" Dean asked rather harshly, his hand held out in front of him as he thought the worst.

"Vanessa. Tell me you don't have an archangel hitching a ride inside your head." Bobby seemed to step back a little and Sam moved away from her, a look of betrayal on his face.

That look hurt Vanessa. It really hurt.

"What? No! Of course I don't!" She exclaimed with a sigh, here goes nothing. "When I went to visit Luci in the Cage, he may have left a little of his grace inside me."

"Luci? You're giving the devil a nickname?" Dean practically yelled, making Vanessa flinch. She didn't like being yelled at by men in that tone, not one bit.

"Don't yell at me, please, just..." Vanessa said timidly which made Dean regret raising his voice, especially at the look on her face.

"Ness, have you had Lucifer's grace inside you... This whole time?" Sam almost seemed disgusted, and betrayed and sad and literally every bad emotion a person could feel at once.

"Ever since the cage, yes. But I didn't ask for it okay. When I showed him what I'd seen he left a little of it inside me so he could come and see me in my dreams." Vanessa sighed as she sat down on the old arm chair.

"Why?" Dean asked, disturbed.

"Because he's lonely. He just wants someone to talk to."

"Talk to? He's the devil, Ness. He's evil!" Sam's voice raised a little, but not enough to make Vanessa flinch again. Thankfully.

"He's no- He's just- Look, it's not doing any harm if he comes to me in my dreams okay, he's still locked away, he's still in the cage-"

"Where he can see everything we're doing. Hear everything we say. Vanessa, you of all people should know that it's a bad idea having Lucifer's grace inside you." Castiel added, stepping closer to her and adding extra emphasis to Lucifer's name as if she didn't know whose grace it was.

"Cas, can you extract his grace somehow?" Dean asked and Vanessa made a whole load of noises of protest behind him.

"Now you listen here, no one is removing any grace. Not today and not ever-"

"Ness you can't-"

"Why? Why do you want him? What could he possibly give you that we can't." Dean asked, almost sadly.

"He knows where the tablets are, and he's willing to tell me... And he's nice to talk to." That last sentence almost caused an uproar from everyone before Dean spoke.

"What's on these tablets that you need so badly?"

Sam was curious as to that too but he didn't want to ask. He couldn't even look at Vanessa right now, let alone speak to her. She'd lied to him. She'd kept this from him when she knew what Lucifer had done to him. Hell, she'd probably seen it and yet she was defending him. Defending Lucifer of all people. Honestly, it made him feel sick to his stomach.

"I was hoping to find a way to track Asmodeus-"

"Asmodeus? Still? Ness, you can't still be trying to find him."

"Of course I'm trying to find him, Dean. He has Gabriel! He is torturing him, or do you now care about that anymore? I have the power to stop him. I'm not just going to sit around all day and do nothing about it. Sam, back me up here." Vanessa turned to Sam who frankly looked a little pale.

"I can't. I can't even look at you right now." Sam's words almost broke Vanessa's heart. "How could you be okay with this? How could you think I'd be okay with it? When you know that he tortured me... For over one hundred years, Lucifer used my soul as his own personal punching bag... How could you..."

Oh.

"Sam, I-"

"I don't think I can do this anymore." Sam said quietly, his eyes watering which only made Vanessa think the worst. Her heart hammering in her chest and the sick feeling she felt rising in the pit of her stomach.

"Do what anymore... Sam?" Vanessa almost choked out, avoiding the looks the others were giving her. The ones mixed with both betrayal and pity.

"I don't think I can be with you anymore."

And that was the sound of Vanessa's heart breaking in two.

"You don't- You can't- Sam, please. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't..." Vanessa's voice faded as a choked sob began to form in her throat before she swallowed it down. No. She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't.

She hadn't done this to hurt Sam. Hell she hadn't even chosen this but it had happened and no matter what they say, she needed Lucifer. She couldn't just sit idly by and let Gabriel be tortured, and if Lucifer could help her find him, then he was staying. He could also be very helpful for a lot of different things too.

"Fine. If that's what you want. Then fine." Vanessa's sudden change in demeanour came as a shock to everyone, Sam especially.

He hadn't expected her to accept it without a fight and he didn't even want to break up with her. But he had to do it. He didn't think he could be around her, not while he knew Lucifer was inside her. However small the amount of grace may be. It was still Lucifer.

"This won't be awkward or anything." Dean tried to mumble to himself but everyone heard it.

"You won't need to worry about that, Dean." Vanessa said without looking at him, her eyes glued to the empty space next to Sam. "I'll deal with the Levithans and everything else on my own. You guys can just go back to your old lives."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby asked, shocked and confused.

"Balthazar!" Vanessa called and the swift flutter of wings followed.

"Yes dear?"

"Take me away from here." Vanessa said quickly, earning overlaps of protest from the guys. Even Sam.

"As you wish." Balthazar's hand landed on her shoulder and within a second, Vanessa was gone.

-you know, i thought this story was just a little too happy so i thought you might like some angst... enjoy :)