Mixed Emotions

(Brittany's Pov)

5:47am

I stare at her with my mouth wide open in amazement. I look around and removed everyone went out for breakfast.I watch as she open her eyes and squint until she gets adjusted to the light. I don't feel like I should be the first to see her when she opens her eyes up so I go out and see everyone playing around in the lobby.

"Hey Britt, there playing hide and seek" Shane says but stops and look concern when he sees me frowning.

"What's wrong" he says worried.

"Santana's awake, go tell Emily" I say and he drops his water bottle.

"You just spoke" he says astounded.

"Yes, I know it's coming from my voice. Now, go" I say and see him run.

I know what your thinking. Why not go with him but I still feel like this is all my fault and all those promises I made her, shit. I was speaking out of fear but I didn't want to actually have to tell her why I was silent or have sex with her, at least not yet. I'm scared she will realize what a freak I am and then leave me again. Even if she takes me, I still say dumb things and look at her and look at me, I just.....i don't know.

(Santana's Pov)

I just woken up and I'm upset that Brittany left as soon as I try to open my eyes. I've been awake this whole time while sedated. I listened as Sam and Puck thought the worse like paralyzed and death, to the doctor scared I wouldn't make it to the coma thing to Brittany trying to leave, to Brittany crying. I heard the fight between her and dani and the gang cheering her on I even heard the little bitch speech before pulling my plug. I heard Brittany's plea for me to stay and I felt like crying, I even heard the doctor saying I might have memory loss. Santana Lopez is way to bad ass to have memory loss. My favorite part of this all was the cuddling and the nights with Brittany.

"Hey sleeping beauty" I hear and instantly smile.

"Hey M" I say and Emily walks in and looks a little bit shaken.

"You better not ever scare the hell out of me again like that. Your all that I have and I need all of you even the bad Lima heights part" she says and I laugh but hiss instantly and lift my shirt. I look down to see stitches going up my stomach.

"What do you remember" she says biting her lip.

"Everything from you bringing Brittany back to waking up. I heard you had a talk with her because you broke down so she went and comfort you. Giving the circumstances, I'll allow it, but if she ever leaves my bed..." I say pointing to the hospital "to go comfort you and I'm healthy, I'm going to kick your ass" I say smiling.

"Even on the brink of death, you threaten people. Also if I'm not mistaking, I spot a lot of jealousy" she says and I start to blush. I look at her bout to say something but the gang beat her to it.

"Santana, you are a true champ. who knew you could dodge death like that. Bad ass" Puck says and I smile.

"Hey girl we miss you" Mercedes says and Sam and Tina mad Mike all nod and I miss the change and Wheezy and trouty.

"Don't you dare do that again" Kurt says and Blaine agree while I see Shane looking guilty.

"Come here" I say and see him look pale.

"Please don't kill me" he whispers and everyone laughs.

"Ill spare you if you can get your side kick back here" I say and he runs out the door.

"It's good to have you back and well" Rachel says and I smile.

"Don't check out just yet Lopez, your actually needed around here" Quinn says and that's here way of saying she needs me.

"Come here" I say to them and they all gather around.

"I heard every one and all of your speeches to me before Britt stayed 24/7 and I wanted to say thank you. I may not say it enough, but you guys are family. I'm sorry I scared you guys like that.I didn't do it purposely but some things happen in life that we have no control of" I say sounding all mature.

"Since when did you grow up" Kurt says.

"Since I heard every one of you punks cry over me" I say and they all laugh nervously.

"GROUP HUG, EVERYBODY" I hear and we all smooth each other.

(3 hours later)

It's been three hours lady and I still haven't seen Britt and I'm starting to get a little impatient. of course I have and to hold in sickness and in health my dearly beloved friends but I wantz my Britty and I wantz my Britty now.

"Santana, stop zoning out on us. What are you daydreaming about" Blaine asks as we're all eating ice cream.

"Screwing Brittany" Emily says quietly but not too quiet and I hear her.

"What was that" I growl.

"You heard me" she says winking and I sigh.

"Oh my god, you like Brittany" Quinn says and I look away.

"It makes so much more sense now you let her pick the trip, you let her get a job on the spot, you defend her, you even let her touch you which you won't let have the group do and you even helped her with her dance project and you hate dancing unless it's a demand. when you hear her name you jump and you didn't even snap at her as badly as you snap at us when she comforts you, like on the plane" Quinn says with her 'I'm right' smirk.

"I'm going to sleep" I say and hear I knew it's.

"Yo owe me another fifty bucks blaine" Kurt says.

"I'm running out of money because of you"

( Brittany's Pov)

"Be extra quiet when we get in" I say to Shane whose smiling like an idiot ever since I start talking again. Were currently in front of Santana's hospital door room and I'm trying to quiet down shane. it's almost 6am and I purposely came in this early because Santana will be sleep and I can't sleep without her anymore. I'm tired and exhausted and I just need rest. We tip toe in and Shane gets next to puck and smile like an even bigger idiot while I climb into Santana's bed slowly. I feel her go stiff, but continue to climb in and interlace our hands. I'm facing the window but Shane is on that side so we try to stay up a little longer.

You know he's straight right?~ I lips sink to Shane.

That never stopped me before and your one to talk, what about Santana ~ Shane says.

She plays for my team. her sister and the gang and Santana have said it~ I say making a fist pump and Shane laughs making Santana move around. I start to get nervous and try to climb out but Santana grabs my waist and held me tight.

"No running this time blonde"