CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

The cold treatment that I always get from Thirdy continues for like months? I don't know,I lost count. I sighed as I continue to keep Davin's toy na nagkalat because they played for the whole morning. Thirdy's always here taking care and spoiling his son,hindi naman ako makapagsalita dahil feeling ko aagawan ko naman si Thirdy ng chance sa anak niya kapag sinuway ko ang way niya bawi kay Davin.

My face crumpled as I felt my back hurt ng yumuko ako,hindi talaga maganda ang pakiramdam ko. Lagi nalang masama ang pakiramdam ko,I feel like lalagnatin na naman ako,lagi na akong nilalagnat at palakain din ako these past days and so gain weight na mas ikinaiinis ko na.

"Argh!". I frustratedly said when I felt another pang of pain strikes.

I heard Thirdy cleared his throat,they're at my back so I know it was him. I just rolled my eyes,for the months that we didn't talk,I mean him not talking to me it annoys me na. I know I deserve it dahil may kasalanan ako pero kahit naiintindihan ko nakakainis pa rin.

"Ate Mela,pakilinis nga ako ng mga laruan ni Davin, ang bagal kasi kumilos kanina pa yan jan". He whispered the last part but I heard pa rin.

Inis akong tumayo at ininda ang sakit sa likod,damn! that's happening to me ba?

After a minute I felt myself yawning,I'm sleeping again?

I sat on the couch and rest my head on the armrest. I let myself fall asleep dahil antok na antok na talaga ako,I can still hear Thirdy talking to Davin.

"Shh mommy's sleeping so let's be quiet,K bud?". Tsk plastic! Naiinis pa rin ako sayo Ferdinand!

"Okay". Sagot naman ni Davin,dun ako napangiti.

When I open my eyes,agad akong napaatras,nanlaki din ang mga mata niya. Talagang nagulat ako,sinong hindi? When I opened my eyes Thirdy's face is so close to mine,like he was about to kiss me,okay scratch that of course he's not diba? I saw him gulped before speaking.

"Kanina ka pa hinahanap ni Davin,gising na". For the first time after almost 3 months he spoke to me,is this even for real?

I nod,I look at him confusingly when he didn't move,he just stare at me. Siguro napansin niya kaya agad siyang tumayo at naglakad na papunta sa dinning area.

It's my time to stand up,pero medyo bumyelo muna ako dahil I already know na mahihilo lang ako kapag bumangon ako agad. I look at my position,nagulat ako ng may unan na,kaya pala elevated ang ulo ko kanina. I stop myself when I started to thought something impossible na naman.

I stood up and walk to the kitchen where Davin is sitting on his high chair and eating a cookie peacefully,I walk to him and kiss his cheek.

"Are you looking for mommy Davin?". I ask as I kiss his cheek again.

"No". Simple niyang sagot.

I was taken back,I heard Thirdy chuckle.

Aba!

I was about to kiss Davin's cheek again when I smelled the cookie he's eating,yuck!

Lumayo ako sa kaniya,I saw Thirdy staring at me confusingly.

"Where did you get that cookies? Ang bantot". Reklamo ko sa kaniya,he immediately get the cookie Davin is eating at inamoy.

"Hindi naman ah". Sagot niya

Naiinis ako lalo

"So you were saying na nagsinunggaling ako?". I felt myself turn red because of the annoyance I felt.

"Hindi ko sinabi yun Bea,sinasabi ko lang na ayos lang naman cookie at yun ang totoo,amuyin mo ulit oh". And he handed me one oft the cookies.

"Eh mabaho nga! Bat ba ayaw mong maniwala! " Sigaw ko sa sobrang inis.

"Bea you don't have to shout". Kalmado niyang sabi.

I was about to answer back but I felt my tummy crumpled inside,bumabaliktad ang sikmura ko kapag naaalala kong ang mabantot na amoy ng cookie,naihawak ko sa tiyan ang dalawang kamay. I look at Thirdy mula sa seryoso at kalmadong titig,biglang nagbago ng makita ang itsura ko.

My tummy hurts a lot,and when I look at the cookies again, hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili na masuka,I had to run to the kitchen sink and throw up. Puro tubig lang naman ang sinukuka ko pero feeling ko nadedrain ako ng sobra.

I felt someone,hold my hair up and caress my back as I continue to throw up. Nang umayos ako ng tayo muntik na akong matumba buti nalang nasalo ako ni Thirdy.

"Sh*t Bea,you're scaring me". Bulong niya at tinapik-tapik ang mukha ko.

Nanlalamig na ang buong katawan ko,I had to hold on Thirdy's neck or else I'll fall,masyadong nanghihina ang tuhod ko at nanginginig ang mga kamay ko.

"Sh*t Bea, what's happening to you,please baby tell me". Alo niya, did he just called me baby? Natigilan ako at parang namanhid ang buong katawan ko,he called me baby,does that mean okay na kami?

"Tita! Call Tita Det ate Mela bilis". Sigaw niya na nakapabalik sa akin sa realidad.

Niyakap ko si Thirdy as another pain strike on my tummy,hinihigpitan ko ang kapit as if mawawala ang sakit. He is also hugging me and caressing my back.

"Thirds ang sakit". Hindi ko na ata kakayanin,the pain in my tummy is getting worse.

"Shh you'll be fine dadalhin na kita sa---" .

"Ahhhh ang sakit! Mom,dad!". I had to shout dahil sobrang sakit na talaga.

I felt a liquid gushing to my thighs,and when I look at it I saw blood,I'm wearing a white cotton shorts kaya bumabakat ang dugo doon,padami ng padami,nanghihina ko itong tinitigan. I look up to Thirdy and cry.

"B-Bea?". Tulala niyang tawag sakin habang nakatingin sa Binti kong puno na ng dugo.

A bitterly smile appear on my lips.

Wow, Thirdy.. for the second time..for the second time you did it.

"What happened". Dad's voice roared inside the dinning area,where we are.

"Oh my goodness Beadel?!". Sigaw ni mom and that was the last thing I heard before everything went black.

.................................

"What happened to the patient?". Bungad samin ng nurse ng mailagay si Bea sa stretcher na Wala ng malay.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko,sobrang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko at natutulala nalang ako.

"Possible miscarriage". Mas natulala ako ng magsalita ang doctor na kakadating lang,umiling ako at for the first time ng dumating kami nahanap ko ang boses para magtanong.

"Doc,m-miscarriage?". Naunahan ako ni Tita Det na magtanong,and so I just waited for the doctors response, nervously.

"The patient is pregnant". Aniya at sinuri ulit si Bea.

The doctor told us to wait outside as they brought Bea to one of the rooms,I want to be by her side pero ayaw talaga akong papasukin kahit anong gawin kong pagmamakaawa.

"What have you done to my daughter,Thirdy!?". Nagulat ako sa biglaang tanong ni Tito.

Napalunok ako when I saw anger in his eyes.

"Tito,I'm sorry". The only thing my mouth can utter.

Naihilamos ni Tito ang kamay sa mukha at umupo,his face looks calm but his eyes weren't. I look at tita's side, she's murmuring something while looking at the door of the room where Bea is.

Lumunok din ako at pumikit,damn! This feeling isn't nice,please Bea,please baby live for daddy. Ngayon lang nagsisink in sakin lahat,I got Bea pregnant that night.. again. Damn you Thirdy! You're being reckless!

But theres a voice inside of me that says 'congratulations' magiging daddy ulit ako,but what the doctor said earlier send chills on my spines,what if...

Bumukas ang pinto at lumabas doon ang doctor kasunod ang ilang nurse,I had to sighed and stand up,nauna silang tumayo ni Tita kaya nasa likuran lang ako.

"How's our daughter doc". Si tita and every second na hindi sumasagot ang doctor mas lalong tumutindi ang kaba ko.

"Your daughter's fine.." nakahinga ng maluwag sina tita pero hindi ako.

"How about the baby doc?". Napalunok ako when Tito glared at me,sorry tito but I have to ask .

"The baby's fine as well,pero gusto ko lang malaman niyong medyo mahina ang kapit ng bata,and stressing the mother won't help dahil naapektuhan ang baby". Paliwanag ng doctor.

"May I know kung ilang buwan na baby doc". Si Tito.

"The baby is about 12 weeks na". Sagot naman ni Doc,Tito nodded.

"Hmm you can go see her now,mauuna muna ako but I'll be back to check on her,if you'll excuse me".

"Thanks doc". Sabay naming sabi ni Tito so he glared at me again,para akong tutang natatakot sa tigre.

Tumango lang ang doctor bago naglakad palayo.

Napalunok ako,naalala ko ang halos tatlong buwan kong di pagpansin at the cold treatment she gets from me,and kanina maybe I stressed her too much when I didn't believe na mabaho ang cookie.

Nagdadalawang-isip pa akong pumasok sa kwarto ni Bea when tita pulled me.

"I think she'll look for you". Aniya at nginitian ako ng tipid.

"Sorry Tita". Paumanhin ko,I think I have to say those.

"Shh". Aniya at hinaplos ang braso ko at hinila ako papasok.

Nang makapasok sa loob,I saw Bea sleeping,I think she pass out because of too much pain. Lumapit ako at hinalikan siya sa noo not minding Tito's deadly stares.

After a minute my family came,hindi ko masabi sa kanila ang totoong nangyayari but they said they rush in here upon hearing that Bea was being sent to the hospital. Hindi pa rin nagigising si Bea. Buti nalang andito Sina mama at daddy dahil natatakot ako.

Dani's also here.

"Bakit ang tahimik?". Si Dani kay mama,nagakibit-balikat lang si mama.

"Tita ano pong nangyari kay ate Bei?". Hindi talaga makatiis tong si Dani.

Tita smile weakly at her and was about to answer when.

"Mom". Paos ang boses na tawag ni Bea,napatayo ako at naglakad papalapit sa kama niya.

"Yes anak?". Tita ask.

"What happened". Nanghihina niyang tanong.

Realization drown all over her face when she look around,she look at her tummy and check her thighs.

"Mom? Am I ..". Hindi na niya natapos ang sasabihin ng sunod-sunod na tumango si Tita Det.

Pumatak ang luha sa mata niya at natutulalang tumingin sa kawalan,hinaplos niya ang tiyan at nag-angat ng tingin sakin. A sad smile plaster on her face.

She looks disappointed,but I can't blame her for that. Her gaze passed at my back.

"Daddy,I'm sorry". Hingi niya ng tawad at humikbi.

Tumabi ako ng lumapit si Tito sa kama ni Bea,lumuhod Siya at hinaplos ang mukha ng anak.

"Just don't stress yourself,stop cryijng, it'll be fine baby,it will be". Bulong ni Tito before placing a kiss on his daughter's forehead.

Hindi ko maiwasang mahiya,for the second time I messed up. Pero hindi ko pinagsisihan na nagbungga.. ulit ang nangyari.

"Thirdy!". Naiyuko ko ang ulo ko ng isigaw ni Daddy ang pangalan ko.

Si Dani ay nakatulala lang at pinoproseso pa ang mga pangyayari habang si mama ay nakamasid lang samin. They knew everything now, kinakabahan man pero nagawa kong sabihin kina mama ang tungkol sa nangyari pati rin ang tungkol kay Davin.

"What were you thinking ha?! You did it before at alam mo ang naging epekto pero naulit pa rin? Hindi kita pinalaki para maging ganyan!". Hindi ako makasagot.

"Bong kumalma ka lang,nagkamali ang mga bata,nangyari na what they need is guidance and support not blame ". Si mama,but I know deep inside she's kinda disappointed too.

"Dad,I'm really sorry,hindi ko po sinasadya". Pilit kong pinapatatag ang sarili ko dahil hindi ko pwedeng tallkuran ang nangyari,I need to stand for it.

"Just make sure,you'll be responsible enough to support TWO kids". Si dad at agad na tumalikod,lumapit siya kay Tito Elmer.

Hindi nagsalita si Dani at mama,they just sit there and smile at me as if encouraging me.

As much as I want to stay at the hospital kailangan ko ring puntahan si Davin,naiwan siya sa bahay ng mga De Leon kanina.

When I arrive,I saw him playing on his playing area.

"Bud!".tawag ko sa kaniya,he look at my direction and smiled.

Feeling ko bumalik ang lakas ko na naubos kanina,sa pag-aalala kay Bea at sa baby,sa tensyon kanina sa hospital,it's just draining me.

"Daddy!". He shout as he run towards me.

Mas lalo akong napangiti,damn! This is enough for me to face anything now.

Kinarga ko siya at hinalikan sa ulo.

"Ate Mela kumain na ba si Davin?". Tanong ko kay ate Mela.

"Papakainin ko palang sir". Tumango lang ako.

"Ah ako na po ang magpapakain ate ". Sabi ko at kinuha ang bowl na may lamang pagkain ni Davin.

Pinakain ko si Davin,pinaliguan bago ko pinatulog,it's already 8:00 pm ng makatulog ang bata. I was about to sit beside him ng magring ang phone ko.

Napalunok ako when I saw it was Bea.

"Hello Bei?". Bungad ko.

"Where the heck are you Ferdinand?". Kinabahan ako sa tono niya,damn it!

"I'm at your house,pinakain ko si Davin at pinatulog". Rason ko,nakakatakot naman to.

Nanahimik Siya sa kabilang linya kaya tiningnan ko kung on going pa ba, ongoing pa naman.

"Hey Bea,are you still there?".

"Come here Thirds please,bring crabs and strawberry juice". Kumunot ang noo ko ng magbago ang tono ng boses niya.

Ang moody!

"Okay". Sagot ko pero hindi Siya umimik.

"Bei--".

"Bye!". Nailayo ko sa tenga ang phone ng isigaw niya iyon at binaba ang linya.

Ano na naman yun?

Hinalikan ko lang si Davin sa ulo bago ako tumayo para bumili ng crabs at strawberry juice,and when I have those in my hands I immediately drive to the hospital.

Nang makapasok ako ay agad kong pinuntahan si Bea at Wala sa sariling hinalikan siya sa ulo, she's busy with something on her phone,gulat niyang iniangat ang ulo sakin at ng marealize ko ang ginawa ay agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Here's your crab and strawberry juice Bei". Sabi ko at tumango naman siya.

"Nasaan nga pala Sina tita?". Tanong ko dahil mag-isa lang siya,Sina mama kasi sumama sakin sa pag-uwi kanina.

"They went home muna,I said you're coming kaya naiwan ako". Sagot niya

Tumango ako kahit hindi naman niya ako tinitingnan.

" Thirds I want to watch a movie". Request niya, bumuntong-hininga ako bago Kunin ang phone para maghanap.

"Bat parang naiinis ka?". I look at her when she said that,nagingiligid na ang luha sa mga mata niya.

"No of course not". Natataranta kong sagot.

"Hindi,ayoko na umalis ka nalang! Hindi mo namana ko mahal eh" . Nagulat ako sa inaakto ni Bea,this isn't her.

Nakalimutan mo ba Thirds? She's pregnant!!

"No baby,I love you so much". Sinsero kong sabi.

She look up to me and pouted.

"You do?". Tanong niya,I stare at her lovingly before nodding my head.

"Wala akong paki!". Masungit niyang sabi at kinuha lalagyan ng crabs at nagsimulang kumain.

Bumuntong-hininga ako sa isip,damn it! Good luck talaga sakin para  susunod na 6 months.