Standard Conversation

Once she and Moss were alone in the elevator together, Imogene had no idea what to say.

Even though her conversation with him and Roy had been somewhat satisfactory back in the office, it was these one-on-one interactions between members of the opposite sex that really made Imogene nervous. She was terrible at talking to guys—well, talking to anyone really, but guys especially. Cute guys especially. And though Maurice Moss didn't exactly fit society's conventional standards of attractiveness, in Imogene's world, he was a gold mine.

I mean, he'd read her fanfiction and left a bunch of nice comments. Maybe there was a chance! They could be like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail, which was a terrible movie but still. She had to admit the premise was romantic.

She glanced over at him. He was a very regal man, Maurice Moss. He stood with poise—well, slightly awkward poise—and he had impeccable dress sense. She was especially fond of his brown necktie, which was patterned like the curtains in her parents' house. Moss was also quite skinny, with noodle-sized arms, and Imogene liked that in a man. She liked lankiness. It was sexy.

Oh, stop it, she thought to herself. Fifteen minutes in and you're already head-over-heels for one of your colleagues? SNAP OUT OF IT!

"So," she said, interrupting her internal monologue. "The seventh floor."

"The seventh floor," Moss repeated. "AKA 'the floor where all the hot girls are'."

Imogene was instantly dispirited. "Oh."

"Yes. Roy and I are trying to get up there all the time. Well, Roy more so than myself. I prefer intelligent women."

Huzzah! "Oh, really? What kind of women are you into?" Fudge fudge FUDGE. Don't say that. What are you thinking? JESUS. She felt her face go hot. "Sorry. That's a weird question. I mean—"

"It's not a weird question," Maurice chuckled. He shook his head a bit and smiled, revealing a space between his two front teeth that Imogene found sort of endearing.

"It kind of is," she said quietly.

He glanced to the side. "Not really."

"Yes really."

"No."

She looked down. She must have looked like a cherry. Her face was on fire. "So, um...do you really like my fanfiction that much?"

"Of course I do. When are you updating it next?"

"Uh...I don't know."

"You left off at such a cliffhanger! What with the new discovery that Vulture is ripping the Avengers apart at the seams through a mole? And all the foreshadowing that Professor X knows what's really going on? And the steaming sexual tension between Kitty Pryde and Peter Parker, not to mention Jean Grey and Logan?"

"The truth is, well..." Imogene inhaled slightly. "I'm a bit...uh...stuck."

Moss frowned. "Stuck? But It's obvious what happens next. They have to find the mole, defeat Vulture once and for all, and figure out how to get the X-Men back to Earth-10005! And they have to figure out how Kitty and Peter can continue their budding romance across the dimensions of space and time."

"Well," Imogene sighed. "If you know what's going to happen, maybe you should write it, then. I have absolutely no idea where to take the story from here."

"But everything is all wrong! The Earth is doomed! Our favorite couples are in romantic tatters! The scene is perfectly set for the heroes to bounce back and save the day again! It would be dreadful if you just–ended it there!"

"Eh..." She trailed off. "I don't know."

"What's the problem?" Moss asked.

"I don't know! I can't figure out what to do next."

"What, is everything so perfect that you're afraid you'll screw it up?"

"Yes! Yes, that's it exactly!"

"But you wrote it."

"Exactly. And I have no idea what to do with it. I'm too scared to move on. It's like I've found the fountain of youth and I'm afraid to drink."

"Well, that's different. Deciding whether or not to drink from the fountain of youth is a serious moral dilemma. On the one hand, eternal life free from ever having to fear death again, and on the other, having to witness countless other deaths, including the apocalypse. Not to mention no one to share eternal youth with, if your best friends aren't by your side. One could hardly compare writing the next chapter of a fanfiction to such an ethical problem."

Imogene sighed again. "I suppose."

The elevator dinged and opened up into a very modern-looking hallway. Moss and Imogene stepped out.

"This way," Moss said gravely. "To Reynholm Industries' fountain of youth."

"More like 'fountain of beautiful women', from what you said earlier."

Moss thought for a second. "Fountain of youthful AND beautiful women."

"Perfect. Now, which way to Kimberly's desk?"

Moss jerked his head to the side, and Imogene followed him to a large office, very modern-looking and pink. Most of the decorations were the type only a ridiculously beautiful 'girly-girl' woman would buy, such as a pink swivel chair at one desk reading Princess!!! Imogene wondered if the girls knew that if the chair was an anime, it would be considered extremely gay. Yuri on Ice!!!-level gay, to be precise.

Also, all of the women were beautiful. EXTREMELY beautiful. Well, conventionally so. Most of them looked like your average supermodel—and most of them were difficult to tell apart. There's only so many variations you can get on the conventionally attractive female, especially the blonde-haired and blue-eyed white girl.

"Which one is Kimberly?" Imogene asked nervously.

"That one." Moss pointed to a sweet-looking blonde who was sitting at a desk, slapping her computer around. "The girl abusing that poor monitor."

"Yikes. She looks frightening."

Moss laughed a bit. "You can put that on my sandwich. Although from what I remember, she's a fairly benevolent woman."

"Let's go see what the matter is."

"Right."

They walked through the hordes of beautiful women, dodging them and inching behind them and squirming through their legs, until they finally reached Kimberly.

"WORK WORK WORK YOU STUPID THING!!!" she was almost yelling. Suddenly she looked up at Moss, and her eyes faded from interest to disgust. "Oh, hello. It's Morris, right?"

"Maurice Moss, yes," he said quietly.

"And I'm Imogene. We're from IT."

"I can see 'Roy' was much too chicken to come up here and speak to me himself," Kimberly said almost sadly.

"Yep," said Moss. "That's it."

"Lovely. Well, I hope he's doing well."

"He's just fine, thanks."

"Good to know. Well, I'll leave you to it. Just going to go...print some things."

She stood up and walked away. Imogene rolled her eyes.

"Wow, I sure didn't expect her to be so 'benevolent'," she scoffed. "What's the bad blood between her and Roy, anyway?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Moss said, sitting down in Kimberly's swivel chair. "Roy hasn't told me, and he tells me everything. Although I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the calendar we made celebrating scientific achievement."

"Oh, that sounds cool!"

"It was. Roy took all the photos. And I daresay the one he got of me was particularly dashing. Alright, so I tried turning it off and on again, but nothing happened."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we unplug the power cord and check for damage."

"I'll do it!" Imogene crouched beneath the desk, crawling over the mess of cords to the outlet in the wall. "Which one is it?"

"This one." Moss reached behind the monitor and wiggled the cord that it was attached to.

Imogene followed the tremor and unplugged the correct cord, examining the metal prongs. "It looks fine."

"Alright, now plug it back in and make sure it's firmly in the socket."

Imogene did as she was told. "It's as tight as can be."

"Still not turning on. Flip."

Imogene peeked out from under the desk to look up at him. "Did you just say 'flip'?"

"Yes," he said gravely. "It is the most vulgar curse word I allow myself to employ."

She shook her head and scuttled back under the table. "You're me."

"Nope, I'm Moss."

"Hey! I think I figured out what's wrong."

"What is it?"

"The power strip's not on."

"Oh! I figured that might be it."

"Yep, just gotta flick the little switch and we're good. Huzzah!"

"Huzzah."

Imogene crawled back out from under the table and put up a fist. "Teamwork! Yay!"

He bumped his knuckles against hers. "Yay!"

"Now we just need to find Kimberly and tell her what happened."

Moss shook his head. "Nope."

"Nope?"

"Nope. Now we leave."

"We leave? But then she won't know to check the power strip next time."

"It's really no use. They never learn."

"Oh. Well, I guess we'd better go then."

Moss stood up from the swivel chair, pushing it back under the desk, then pulling it out a bit and giving it a slight angle. It looked just like it had been before he'd sat in it. "There. We part without a trace. Were we here, or weren't we? They will never know."

"Yeah! IT ninja force!"

Moss pressed his palms together and bowed his head slightly. Imogene did the same.

"Your teachings are wise, sensei," she said.

"You are a quick learner, my pupil," he replied.

Kimberly yelled at them from across the room. "Are you guys finished?"

"Quick, run!" Moss exclaimed, and they fled back to the elevator.