Chapter VI

Edited by FabiHoran13

Kylo Ren's POV:

It was an odd but pleasant feeling  having someone to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay in the end. Being enveloped in a tight and warm embrace made you feel safe. As if nothing in that moment  could possibly harm you. That's how I felt being in Rey's arms. She had spent the entire night by my side, granting me peaceful sleep, running her petite fingers through my hair, and soothing me with her gentle voice. It was the first night I felt like myself.

I felt guilty for taking up most of the   room on the couch.  Half her body was barely on the couch,her head was lightly resting on top of her arms. Her breathing was soft and steady, she was the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. On the outside she seemed so small and fragile, but in reality she was strong and confident, one of her many qualities that drew me to her. I was falling hopelessly in love with her. 

I was afraid to move her and disrupt her from her deep slumber, but I also didn't want her feeling uncomfortable. I gently picked her up bridal style, using my upper arm to rest her head upon while I carried her to her bedroom. I kicked the door with my foot and lightly placed her down on the mattress. Before retiring, I covered her with the duvet, didn't want her getting cold.

I knew I had promised to not let anything get in my way of succeeding my grandfather, believe me I tried hard to fight this feeling, but it was stronger than I . This feeling demanded to be in control. I wasn't too sure if I really wanted to to continue down this path filled with corruption and darkness. 

Of course I wanted unimaginable power above all, but I also wanted Rey. I was being called by both sides with no clue of which one I really belonged to. Power was what I wanted more than anything, which the dark side strongly promised, but there was also this part of me that wanted to be good enough for Rey. I wanted to prove to her that a part of me was still good because of her. She was the reason I hadn't completely turned to the dark side.

I left her alone to rest and in the meantime I went to supervise the progress on the preparations for the attack of the Republic. I hated myself for playing a part of the attack, I knew once Rey found she would never want anything to do with me again. I was in no position to contradict any of Snoke's wishes, if I even dared, he would surely have me killed.

Pain coming from my leg continued to bring me discomfort. I had to minimize the time I limped. I did not want Snoke discovering I had gone behind his back and began completing my training

Stormtroopers ran side to side carrying tools and pushing around parts. Twenty five ships were already ready while another twenty five underway, the last few stages of inspection. Thousands of Stormtroopers preparing for the attack both physically and mentally, but I wasn't prepared in either one. A voice constantly rang in the back of mind saying there was still time to do the right thing, but I didn't have the strength to do it.

"S-sir, we have a problem," one of the Stormtroopers shakily spoke.

"What is it?" Snoke would surely blame me if a single thing went wrong.

"A large sum of Stormtroopers were injured in the making of one of the spacecrafts, sir."

"Make them go back to work if it's nothing serious, make sure to inform the others that if all preparations are not completed by following weeks then there will be consequences," I spoke coldly. I needed to assure myself that I could still be feared and obeyed.

I made other inspections around the area until I was satisfied with the progress I'd seen. If I was sincerely honest, I didn't check thoroughly every weapon or ship. I was too distracted by the thought of Rey and I just wanted to finish as soon as possible so I could check up on her.

By the time I reached her room my palms were sweaty and I was more nervous than ever before. I knocked a couple of times before the door opened, Rey appearing right behind it. She wore similar clothes to ones she first wore when we met. Her hair was messily pulled back and there were small under circles that formed beneath her eyes, but she still looked beautiful.

"I-I just wanted t-to check up on you, to m- make sure you were able to get a good nights sleep," I stuttered.

"Um yeah, thanks," she replied. 

There was an awkward tension surrounding us. Neither one knew what to say next.

"I..", We both spoke at the same time.

"You go first," I hinted.

"Okay, uh well I finished building my lightsaber," she paused for a moment and awkwardly played around with her fingers. I took notice of the only time she ever played with her fingers where when she was nervous. "Do you want to see it ?" she asked.

I nodded before following after her to her bedroom. Once or twice she turned around as to check that I still followed behind.

She kneeled down beside a wooden chest and exposing her newly formed weapon.  She had mimicked great portion of the design of Luke's lightsaber, but what would its color be once lighted?

"What color does it give off?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know," she responded," I haven't exactly ignited yet." Her eyes were cautious of meeting mine, almost as if she were attempting to hide something from me.

"Go along, try it," I persuaded.

Just as I said, she took a hold of the weapon with both hands and powered it on.

It revealed a fair blue light, it was so clear it could've easily be mistaken as white if not closely studied. Something about her holding that lightsaber brought a feeling of deja vu.

Then it clicked, piles and piles of memories flashed before my eyes. I was reliving them all over again. There was sand everywhere and giant mountains surrounding the area along with a couple of boulders. I couldn't completely remember this moment and I didn't understand why. All I could make out was two kids. A small girl chasing after a boy, the boy would often hide behind rocks and once noticed he would run off once again , it bothered me not being able to see the boys face.

"Ben slow down!" she cried out.

It was Rey. The same brunette hair, chocolate eyes,and pink cheeks. A wide smile was plastered on her face as she continued chasing

The boy slowed down at her request, but never stopped until they both grew weary. They both rested on a boulder besides each other, I could finally see the boy's face, it was me.

The next memory flashed through. It was us again, but certainly a couple years older. I didn't comprehend how I could've forgotten such memories filled with happiness and with her. Maybe I've reached the point where my soul has turned too dark to even remember what happiness feels like.

She was collecting pieces of scrap material insisting she would create something extraordinary, but she didn't know what it would be yet. The younger version of myself followed behind her carrying the bag filled with metals.

"Ben..." she called.

"Yes.." I hummed.

"Do you think we'll become strong Jedi just like your uncle Luke?" she innocently asked.

"We'll become the most powerful Jedi in the entire galaxy one day, I promise you that," I assured her.

"Then we have to practice come on," she tugged on my sleeves with her tiny hands. I had handed her the miniature lightsaber Luke and I helped her made. She had learned the correct stance and posture in a matter of minutes. She had pranced around with the flickering green light back in forth as she made battle noises.

"Ben, Ben teach me how to fight," she pleaded.

"I can't teach you, Luke will teach you once you're older," I had replied.

"Why can't he teach me now? " she queried.

"Because you're too young still," I patted her head and tugged the weapon out her hands and placed it in her bag.

"Fine." She sighed.

Her beautiful smile appeared again and she continued off, collecting scraps. 

Once more the memory abruptly changed, but deep darkness encompassed over everyone and everything.

It was me surrounded by bodies of younglings, people I used to call my friends and there she stood in the center completely engulfed by her own tears.

"Ben..." she barely whispered.

"Ben what happened? Did you do this? Ben, BEN?" she shrieked.

All at once I remembered it all, in that moment I had no courage left to speak. I had been transformed into a monster and it was to late to bring me to the light. She was so young, yet she understood what was going on.

"My name's not Ben, it's Kylo Ren," I spoke while making my way closer and closer to her with my lightsaber in hand.

"No you're Ben. Please don't this Ben, this isn't you," tears continued spilling from her eyes and streaming down her cheeks.

"Ben please," she begged. My lightsaber was directed right at her. I slowly brought it near her neck,  but I didn't have the strength to pull it across. I couldn't kill her, she meant to much to me then just as much or even more now.

Out of the blue the memory came to an end and we were both back to reality and by the look on her face, I knew she experienced it all too. We had both forgotten those moments filled with joy and sorrow. That explains the connection I first sensed when we reunited, neither one of us recognized each other physically, but mentally we knew how much we meant to one another.

She no longer stood, but instead kneeled and hugged her frail figure.

"Are you okay?" I pried.

She slightly nodded before speaking up and questioning me. "You saw all that, right?"

I nodded. "You killed all those younglings," she muttered."But you didn't kill me, why?

"I couldn't do it," I murmured. "Y-you mean too much to me Rey. I had forgotten what you really meant to me until now. I-I care about you."

"Then let me rejoin the Resistance, come with me your mother needs you, I need you." She grabbed my hand and her eyes implored me to accept.

"No," I pulled me hand away and moved far from her. "You don't get it, do you? I can't go back, it's too late, I have to finish what I started. I will not be a failure. "

"No, I know and you know that a part of you wants to be rejoined with the Light Ben. Don't sink deeper into lies. You know that Snoke will toss you aside sooner or later, he wants to have complete power over the galaxy. He's only using you. Please Ben don't let him deceive you. "

"My name is Kylo Ren!" I roared. I shook uncontrollably out of fury as I gasped for air.

"No you're Ben, and I can prove it to you." Her plush pink lips unexpectedly landed on top of mine as her soft frail hands caressed my cheeks. Our lips gently moved in sync and I was slowly becoming more and more entranced by her. I pulled her body close to mine until there was no space between us. This is what I wanted, to feel the warmth of her body next to mine, to feel her soft lips on top of mine. I wanted more, but she pulled away before the moment intensified.

"If you can feel compassion and love still then you are not yet lost to the dark side," she softly spoke.

"I'm not strong enough to defeat the evil in me," I contradicted her.

"I'll be here, I'll give you the strength to fight." she assured me. "I'll always be here."

So I'm like totally filled with excitement because this book reached 1k reads today!!! You guys don't know how much joy it brings me to see people commenting and voting. You're comments literally make my day, so thank you so so so much. On a different note this is probably the longest chapter I've written for this book and I enjoyed writing every word of it. Hope you guys enjoy.(:

~E