~𝟰𝟲~

(Third person, Lee Know's perspective)

Lee Know couldn't sleep that night, like every other night for the past week or so. So he got up to get himself a glass of water. As he walked, the light shone in his eyes from the other side of the hall, the full moon in view through the window. Then his brain registered that it was Ava's window that he saw the moon through. Her door was open.

He slowly leaned past the door, only to find an empty bed there. It worried him. So he went looking for her. He tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen, looking around every corner, looking into every shadow. He stood with his hands resting on the kitchen island when he looked out through the sliding door.

The moon was shimmering on the ocean, the moonbeams casting the sand in an eery white light. And that's when he saw her. She brushed her hair back before swimming with her back towards him to the edge of the pool. She seemed to be staring at the moon.

He slowly moved to the sliding door separating them, sliding it open with as little noise as possible. He didn't want to startle her. Then he walked out into the darkness, going to stand against the wall. He didn't move, so as not to make a noise. He watched her breathing, shoulders rising and falling slowly. Unconsciously, he matched his breathing to hers.

From where he stood, he could see her one cheek and her eyelashes, both beautifully illuminated by the moonlight. The light cascaded onto her collarbones and shoulders, some of it crawling over her shoulders to illuminate a bit of her back. She seemed so at peace.

His eyes traced the gentle lines of her face, neck, and shoulders, studying her intently. He couldn't see a single flaw. And then he saw them. The lighter lines on her back. Her hair was swept over her shoulder, so he could clearly see them. He counted at least five in the little piece of back that stuck out above the edge of the pool.

It made his heart stutter and his mind swirl. Where did she get them? he thought. His hand itched to reach out to her and, with her permission, gently drag his fingertips across every one of the scars, while she explained where they came from. But he held himself back. He couldn't even think of doing anything close to that before he hadn't made up with her. His fear reared its head in his stomach again, but he ignored it. This might be the only chance you get.

And so, he took a step forward, the floorboard creaking rather loudly underneath his shifted weight. He saw her snap around, submerging herself underneath the water up to her neck. She looked at him with fear in her eyes. It felt like a white-hot rod of fire was stabbing through his heart at the sight of her afraid of him once again. He would have backed off if he hadn't worked up all the courage beforehand. He was afraid if he stepped out into the light, she might turn him away. So instead he decided to just say one sentence to set her at ease. To calm her down a bit. To let her know that it was just him and that he wouldn't be a threat to her.

"Can we talk?"

(First person, Ava's perspective)

I felt my body ease up and my heartrate slow down when I registered the soft voice as Lee Know's. He slowly came closer, stepping into the moonlight. The light flowed over his features, making him look like an angel. His cheekbones, eyelashes and cupid's bow were painted in white light, but what really drew me in were his eyes. He didn't seem so much hurt as desperate, and then I realised he was still waiting for me to answer his question.

"Sure. I've actually been waiting to talk to you for a while now."

My voice sounded unsteady, but I hoped he didn't hear it. He nodded slightly, and I noticed how nervous he seemed. His shoulders were tense, and he kept rubbing his thumb over his middle- and forefingers. He slowly moved to the deckchair closest to the pool, moving my towel that rested on it slightly before taking a seat. He rested his elbows on his legs, fingers interlacing together. I swam a bit closer, still keeping myself submerged up to my neck. He wouldn't make eye contact with me, eyes darting around on the wooden floor boards below him. I waited patiently, knowing how hard it was for him. And besides, I didn't know what to say to him even if he did start speaking.

"You probably want an explanation, don't you?"

"Well... only if you're willing to share."

He smiled slightly, still not looking at me, instead shifting his focus onto his hands.

"I met her a few years ago on one of our undercover operations. She was nice. Then I later found her while I was out with Chan. Apparently, she lived close to the dorms. We started talking and then we got together. It lasted about eleven months... after that... I broke up with her. I heard rumours about her dating another man. I didn't feel like I could trust her anymore. I had thought I would marry her, but I was wrong. And even though I knew it was better for me to cut my losses, it still hurt to let go."

"Seeing her again, it just brought out an ugly side of me. And I took it out on you. And I am so, so sorry. I overstepped boundaries. I hurt you... I... I scared you. And I know you'll probably never forgive me for it, but I just wanted to tell you that I don't know where I would be right now if it weren't for you. You... you saved me, Ava. And I'm forever grateful for that. But if you can't forgive me or don't want anything to do with me-"

"Why do you think I would want that?" I interjected.

For the first time in the while he had spoken, he looked at me. He looked like he could cry. Throughout his speech, my heart ached for him. He didn't deserve to have to go through what he did. But that he thought I wouldn't forgive him, I couldn't understand.

"You mean so much more to me than you could ever know. You mean too much to me to just drop you like that. If I were to lose you, I don't know what I would do. I should actually be the one apologising."

He gave me a confused look.

"Why do you need to apologise? You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I did. I didn't trust your judgement. We could have avoided this entire fight if I had just trusted you. So, please forgive me."

"No."

"No?"

"No. I won't forgive you because there is nothing you did that needs to be forgiven. I am the one who overreacted. I am the one who is to blame. I am the one who should be begging for your forgiveness."

I wanted to argue, but then I saw the fear and hurt in his eyes, and it made me stop. I wanted to reach out to him, but I didn't know if I could yet. I didn't know if either of us were ready. So, instead I asked a question.

"You want to join me?"

He looked up at me, brows drawing together slightly.

"In the pool I mean. The water's warm. And the view is amazing."

His eyes widened ever so slightly with understanding, and I saw the corners of his lips turn up slightly. He looked at the ground again, smile growing. Then he stood up, taking hold of the bottom of his shirt. Before he could pull it over his head, I stopped him.

"A-aren't you going to go put on your swimming trucks?"

"I went to bed with them on. I was too tired to take them off."

My gaze drifted to the side, and I could practically hear his smirk. My gaze snapped up at him again as I saw him move, watching as he pulled his shirt up over his head, tossing it onto the chair. The moonlight washed over his skin, and I took in a breath at the pristineness of it. Heat rushed up my neck to my cheeks as I stared at his body, mesmerised.

He was muscular. Every muscle perfectly toned and accentuated. I noticed the scar on his abdomen and made a mental note to ask about it later. I kept staring, the heat on my cheeks burning hotter and hotter until I couldn't take it. I looked away and cleared my throat, instead turning back to the ocean.

He walked to the edge of the pool and the water rippled up against my neck as he put his feet in. He slipped in next to me, and I held my breath. He took in a breath and the water moved as he submerged himself, pushing off of the wall and swimming to the other edge of the pool, coming up for air and to turn around before coming back my way, stopping halfway through.

He came up, brushing his hair back, and the moonlight shimmered in the water droplets on his neck, face, and hair. He stood up fully, broad shoulders and part of his chest sticking out above the water. The water seemed to make him even more muscular, the droplets settling in the defined dip above his collarbones and on his shoulders. He seemed to shine.

I looked into his eyes, realising he had been watching me. Then his gaze dropped slightly, and my eyes widened as I realised I had stood up fully as well, my scar clearly visible. I looked at the water, moving my hand up and gently resting my fingertips on the scar. I closed my eyes in shame.

Until I felt his fingertips gently brush over the back of my hand. I opened my eyes and looked at his hand on mine, watching as he gently took my hand in his. I looked up at him. He had a gentle smile on his lips, making my insides stir.

"It's beautiful."

"No, it's not. It's ugly. It shows my weakness."

"You know what I think?"

He waited until I looked at him again.

"I think it shows how strong you were. And still are. And I find it beautiful. Because it's a part of you."

I dropped my gaze, feeling my cheeks heat up again. I splashed him with my other hand in embarrassment. I looked up at him when he scoffed, finding a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, you're on."

He moved back, only to swipe his hand over the surface of the water, drenching me. I gasped and my eyes went wide. I laughed and splashed him back. We kept splashing each other, our laughter meeting with the wind, mixing in with the sound of the ocean to form a beautiful symphony. I swam around, trying to avoid the accuracy in his splashes. I got a few hits in too.

He stopped suddenly because he was laughing too much, and I took my chance. I kept splashing him, even as he tried to splash me back. I was laughing with him until I felt his hands wrap around mine, pulling me up against him. I went silent at the close proximity. At first, I wouldn't meet his eyes, stunned into paralysis by his bold move. Then my gaze slowly trailed up his chest to meet his eyes. He still gently held my hands in his.

He was so close; I could feel his warm breath on my cheeks. His skin shimmered in the moonlight. I studied his face, taking in every detail I never got close enough to see. The gentle arch of his eyebrows. The upwards curl of his eyelashes. His defined cupid's bow above his upper lip. His sharp jawline. The little beauty mark on his nose. The way his hair fell over his eyes. Those bewitchingly beautiful eyes that always drew me in, making me shiver with nerves and setting me at ease at the same time. It was like I could see the whole galaxy in his eyes. They were shining with tiny specks of light in them.

I kept his gaze and felt my heart skip a beat. Not because I felt uncomfortable or scared. But because I felt excited. I wanted to see what would happen. I wanted to see what he would do. And I knew in that moment that I trusted him fully. With my whole body, mind, soul and being. I swallowed, my throat feeling dry. I watched as his gaze dipped onto my lips, my own eyes doing the same, dropping to his.

My pulse quickened, my blood rushing through my body at an inhumane speed. I bit my lip, looking back up at his eyes. Our noses were almost touching. The tension between us was so thick, it felt like I couldn't breathe, but in that moment it didn't matter. All that mattered was my racing pulse, his close proximity and the way my skin tingled underneath his as he still held my hands. I almost thought I imagined it when he spoke.

"You're so beautiful. I know you struggle to see it, but to me, you're the most beautiful thing to ever exist. I can see the entire galaxy in your eyes. And I just can't get enough of looking at you."

He stopped, eyes staying on mine. I let the full meaning of his words seep through my mind like honey dripping down a spoon. My entire face felt like it was on fire. I wanted to argue with him, but my mind couldn't think of anything that was a valid reason. I dropped my gaze. He let go of my right hand, and I watched it. He slowly brought the hand up to my cheek, brushing his knuckles over my cheek ever so gently. I found myself leaning into his touch involuntarily. His hand settled in my hair, thumb stroking over my cheekbone. He gently tilted my head up to make me look up at him. His eyes flicked to my lips again before settling on my eyes as he spoke again.

"I will be telling you how beautiful you are until the day I die; I can promise you that. Even with your scars. To me, they're like the art of putting gold in broken pottery. They make you who you are. They make you even more breath-taking to me."

My entire body was shivering with anticipation. I waited, in silence, for him to make a move. For him to do something, anything. He brushed his hand further up into my hair, his hand resting on the back of my head. He gently brought me into a hug, cradling my head in his hand. I felt like I could combust. The feeling of his skin on mine made my whole body burn. He snuggled his nose into my hair. I gently moved my hands up onto his back and I felt goose bumps rise on his skin. We stayed like that, in each other's embrace. The warmth from each other seeping into our bodies.

My mind started running, taking in all the little details that I had picked up during the night. Like how I got nervous when Lee Know got in the pool next to me. Or how my body felt like it was charged with electricity when we stood near each other. Or how I could feel my heart pounding against my chest walls whenever I looked into his eyes. And it hit me. All at once.

The reason I felt the tug in my stomach whenever he interacted with a girl. The reason I got angry when he was affectionate with Geneviève. It was the same reason he got mad at me after we went to visit Han the first time. The same reason he got so mad at Hyunjin when I almost fell. And the same reason that whenever I looked at him, I drank up every detail, and still never got enough. The reason that when he touched me, my skin burned and felt cold when he left me again.

"I'm in love with you," I breathed, the reality only hitting me as I said it.

I felt him tense up as he held me, making me realise I just said it aloud. I pulled out of his embrace, looking up at him with wide eyes and my body trembling from nerves. I had no idea what he would say. He looked at me with just as much surprise as I looked at him with. I could see his chest rising and falling faster and faster with every breath he took. When he didn't say anything for what felt like forever, I lost hope. He didn't feel the same. I turned around, starting to swim back to the edge of the pool.

"Wait," he said, grabbing my hand. I stopped, looking back at him. My brows were drawn together in pain and embarrassment. He came up to me. Slowly. Eyes glued to mine. When he stood right in front of me, his eyes darted around, like he was trying to find the right words.

"It's okay if you don't-"

"I'm in love with you too."

I was stunned into silence. He felt the same? My breathing started speeding up, my blood shooting through my veins.

"I just never admitted it to myself. I can't believe I didn't see the signs earlier. I'm in love with you. I have been for who knows how long... Woah."

I smiled at his reaction, finding it adorable. Like most of the things he did. He took both my hands, bending down to be at eye level with me.

"I promise you; I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. Always. And even if Chan or Commander Della Valle say I can't be with you, I'll still do everything I can to ensure I can be with you and make you feel safe and-"

I slid my hands out of his and up into his hair, effectively shutting him and his rambling up. He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Let's take this slow. I think both of us are still a bit sceptical about a new relationship. So we'll just move at a pace that's comfortable for both of us. Okay?"

He nodded before sliding his knuckles across my cheeks with so much tenderness, I thought he'd start crying. His hands settled in my hair again and he gently brought his forehead to rest against mine. And for the first time in three years, I felt completely safe.

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A/N

heyy guys!! hope you're all doing well.

so, a lot happened in this chapter ;) i really hope you guys enjoyed and that it wasn't too cringy... anyway, you guys are welcome to let me know what you think of this chapter or just how you are doing in the comments and feel free to call me out on any mistakes i made :P see you guys next chapter!! :)