~𝟰𝟱~

(Third person, Lee Know's perspective)

What Ava and the rest didn't know, was that Lee Know wasn't working through things. He was thinking of how to make up with Ava. He knew it was a delicate situation because he scared her. If he approached too fast or said the wrong thing, she would pull away even more. But the eye contact they had had at the airport had given him hope. One tiny star in a galaxy of darkness. He kept pacing in his room, trying his best not to think about the day he had hurt her. But the thoughts kept seeping through the barrier he had formed around them.

Little things. The fear in her eyes. The stinging behind his own eyes when he saw her come out of the woods, broken and small. The hurt in his heart when he saw her fall asleep on Hyunjin's shoulder. The unbearable pain of avoiding her to keep her safe. He tried building a sentence to say to her, but it came out a jumbled up mess. He went to stand with his head against the wall, resting his fists on either side of his head. He took in a deep breath and hit the wall with the side of his fist.

"Why is this so hard? Why am I so afraid?" he asked.

The only thing answering him was the sound of the ocean through his window. And his own heart clenching in his chest.

(First person, Ava's perspective)

That night after dinner, I sat on the edge of the porch, my feet touching the sand. I stared up at the stars as I listened to the ocean. I heard a door slam inside the house, making me flinch. My thoughts wandered to three years ago. My hands clenched into fists. I could still feel his hands on me. And the bruises afterwards.

I took in a shaky breath, blowing it out slowly. I dug my toes deeper into the sand, which actually calmed me down a bit. I looked back up at the stars, taking in another breath and breathing it out with a sigh. I heard the sliding door open behind me, but I didn't turn around. I only looked up when I heard Chan speak, having come to a stop next to me.

"Can I join you?" he asked. I nodded before turning my gaze back up at the stars.

He sat down next to me, his presence warm and welcoming. As if out of habit, I leaned my head on his shoulder. I felt him tense up under me.

"Do you trust me?" I asked and felt him ease up almost immediately.

"With my life. Why do you ask?"

I hesitated.

"Just curious."

He pulled away from me, turning his body to face mine. His eyes seemed to say, I know that's not true, and I know you know too. I dropped my gaze, but he just bent to the side, moving back into my gaze with a small smile on his lips. I smiled back and shook my head.

"I don't know how you do it," I said.

"Do what?"

"Make me open up so easily. I just feel so comfortable around you."

He smiled, his dimples showing. Then his gaze turned to concern again, and he looked at me with the same attentiveness he had earlier.

"Why did you ask if I trust you?"

"I... I just don't feel like a lot of people trust me these days. I feel like I let everybody down."

"What makes you think you let me down? What makes you think you let the team down?"

I could think of so many reasons why, but my mouth didn't seem to be connected to my brain anymore. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

"Is this about Lee Know?" he asked softly, and I dropped my head.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. You're probably tired of hearing that question."

"No it's... You're right. I've always been insecure, but my fight with him has just made everything so much worse."

I heard him sigh and looked up at him. He seemed to be contemplating something. He took in a breath.

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but I think it'll be better for you if I do. Lee Know... He feels incredibly bad about what happened. Like depressed bad. I haven't ever seen him like this. He doesn't eat. He stays up all night. He hides it well, but he is so afraid of losing you that he literally cries at night."

I took in a breath, my eyes widening substantially. My brows drew together in concern, and I looked over to the sliding door. Chan gently took my hand, making me look at him again.

"I didn't tell you this to make you worry or to upset you. I definitely didn't tell you this to make you feel bad or to make you apologise. I told you this to make you see that it's not that he doesn't want to fix this. It's just that he doesn't know how to. His fear of losing you is so all-consuming he just can't form coherent sentences or figure out how to apologise to you. And I'm not saying you have to try to apologise first. On the contrary, you don't have to apologise. You did nothing wrong. I just want you to give him a little more time. I know it's hard, but it's hard for him too."

I felt a tear slip over my cheek, and I tilted my head back to stop any more from falling. I let out a shaky breath, my throat feeling thick from wanting to cry so much. I bit on my lower lip, squeezing Chan's hand that was still clasping mine tightly. I scooted closer to Chan, hugging him.

My ear was pressed against his chest, and I could hear his steady heartbeat. It calmed my slightly. I tried matching my shaky breathing to his, my chest starting to rise and fall in time with his. He gently put his one hand on my head, stoking gently. We sat there in silence for what felt like an eternity, me just soaking up his warmth in an attempt to get my courage up.

"Chan?"

His chest vibrated against my cheek as he hummed in response.

"Could you tell Lee Know something for me?"

My words were soft and slightly muffled from being pressed up against his chest, but I felt him nod.

"Tell him... Tell him he isn't going to lose me... Tell him that I care too much about him to ever walk away from him... Please."

He pulled away from me, gently wiping the remaining tears on my cheek off with his knuckles. He looked at me with so much care and concern, I almost broke down again.

"I'll make sure the message gets to him. And I'll make sure he understands how much you care about him. You have my word."

"Thanks, Chan. Thank you so much. For everything."

"No problem. We all need someone to listen sometimes. It's my pleasure to be that person for you."

I hugged him again, squeezing tightly. Then he got up and offered a hand to help me up.

"Come on. It's way past your bed time," he said, making me smile.

...

The next day, the boys were all over the place. If they weren't swimming or chasing each other around on the beach, they were rushing around in the kitchen, grabbing snacks. Han and I were the only ones, besides Lee Know, who were relatively calm. I sat outside on a deckchair most of the time, catching up on some reading.

Han sat on the chair next to me, softly strumming the guitar he had found in the house. He played a gentle tune every now and then, the soft plucking sound filling my ears and soothing my mind and heart. He was good. Very good. A few times I would put down my book and watch him play, but after a few minutes he would notice me and stop playing, a blush creeping up to his cheeks.

After lunch, the boys managed to persuade him to go swimming in the ocean with them. Chan saw my worried look and promised he would make sure Han didn't hurt himself. I wasn't in the mood for physical excursion, so I decided to take some time for myself, deciding to explore the island. The boys made me promise to keep my comm on and call them if anything happened, and I made them promise to have fun. Then I went outside, got into the dune buggy in the garage and drove off through the woods, going wherever my body took me.

At some point I got pretty close to where the airport was, finding a little flea market. I parked the dune buggy and started exploring. I had walked for about an hour when I decided to take a break and eat something. I sat down on a bench and tore into a packet of dried fruit I had bought when I saw something that caught my attention.

It seemed to be a little house that someone converted into a store. Through the windows I could see all sorts of things. Swimsuits, T-shirts, snorkelling gear, you name it. After finishing the packet of dried fruit I immediately headed towards the little shop. When I walked through the door, I was greeted by a friendly girl about my age. I smiled at her and greeted her as well.

"You must be a tourist. We don't get many rare beauties like you around here," she said, smiling kindly at me. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks at her compliment.

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Shout if you need any help," She said before going into another room, leaving me to look around.

I wandered between the makeshift isles, scanning over the rows upon rows of odd things. I was in what I guessed to be the swimsuit isle when a pink piece of material caught my eye. I gently took the hanger off the rack, examining the beautiful swimsuit.

"You should try it on. The colour will really compliment your skin tone," I heard the woman say from behind me. I smiled at her.

"You think so?"

"Very much. I can show you the changing room if you want."

I nodded and followed her into a small room near the back of the little shop. I went inside and closed the door, getting dressed into the swimsuit to try it on. It was beautiful. It was a light pink top piece with a peach coloured bikini bottom to match. The top had three frills of Lycra and was cut quite low in the front, the back open low as well with the two straps tying behind the neck. I admired it in the mirror, twirling around.

Then I noticed the ugly white lines on my back and underneath my collarbone. But for once, I didn't immediately shoot down the idea of buying the swimsuit like I usually did. I didn't feel as insecure either. I gently touched the scar underneath my collarbone, looking at it in the mirror. I'll just wear it when the boys can't see me, I thought. I nodded as if finalising the decision, before getting dressed back into my normal clothes. When I came out of the fitting room, the girl was standing there expectantly.

"So, what do you think? How does it look?"

"I love it. You really were right."

"Great, I'm glad you like it."

I followed her to the till near the front of the shop, handing her the swimsuit. She gave me the price and I paid her, giving her a little extra. When she tried to give it back to me, I stopped her.

"Keep it. It's to say thank you for being so nice to someone you just met."

She smiled so brightly; it was almost like her heart lit up in her chest. She came around the counter, hugging me tight. I hugged her back just as tight.

"Thank you so much. This really means a lot. And don't be a stranger now, stranger."

"I won't. I'll come visit again. And I'll bring a few friends."

We smiled at each other again before we said our goodbyes and I went on my way again.

...

After the boys had all gone to sleep, I slipped past the rooms with a towel wrapped around me, hiding my exposed body and the ugly scars on my back. Luckily, no one woke up. I slipped into the dark around the pool, looking up to see the moon shimmering on the waves of the ocean. I put my towel on one of the deckchairs, sitting down next to the pool and dipping my legs in. The water felt slightly warm. The wind blew around me, filling my nose with the salty sea smell and my arms with goose bumps.

I slipped into the water, submerging myself fully and closing my eyes. Floating up to the surface of the water, I turned on my back and spread my arms and legs. I stayed there, floating with eyes closed for a while. I opened my eyes to see some of the most beautiful stars I had ever seen, even more beautiful and plentiful than at the dorms. I smiled as I stared up at the little dots of white in awe. I swam a few laps, my hair sticking to my forehead and neck. I submerged myself again and brushed my hair back when I came back up.

I swam backwards until my back touched the edge of the swimming pool. My gaze was glued to the ocean, the moonlight like a rippling trail of milk poured onto the black surface of the ocean. It astounded me how beautiful something so simple was. I rested my arms on the edge of the pool, eyes fixated on the scene in front of me. Until I heard the floorboards of the deck creak behind me. I spun around and submerged myself up to my neck to hide my scars. That's when I saw it. The black figure in the shadows. I would have run if I hadn't heard the figure's soothing voice as it said:

"Can we talk?"

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A/N

eesh, left you guys on a cliffhanger, didn't i? sorry about that (kinda) ;P

anyhow, please feel free to let me know if you see any mistakes and please vote and comment. i don't have much more to say this chappy except i hope you enjoyed it and that i'll see you guys in the next one :)