◑ Pabo!!! ◑

So I jumped.

Or tried to. My leg clung onto the railing and I was heaving myself up and over, fearless. I stood on the railing, balancing on the wide metal bar, letting the wind whip my hair around. If this were a movie, this scene would look so asthetic.

But it wasn't. I was about to jump and drown. Right before one's death, were they meant to be afraid? Because I wasn't. There wasn't any hint of fear in me, only relief.

Maybe that's the reason why I'm such a weakling. I actually embraced the idea of escaping and dying, instead of fearing it. I'm just not strong enough.

I'm not strong enough to live this life.

Goodbye.

I leaned forward, my arms unfolding slowly, stretching them out like wings of a bird's first flight. I stared down into the raging waters, feeling a quiver run down my shine. Excitement? Fear, finally?

My leg slowly extended out and I leaned forward, letting gravity work its magic.

But it didn't get to work in the way I wanted it to, for somebody grabbed onto my waist and pulled me down forcefully, spinning me round as he did so. I collapsed onto the ground with him under me, cushioning my fall.

Shock paralyzed me and I realized that I was shaking uncontrollably, from all the hyperventilating I've been doing and from the cold wind that moments ago had been numbing my body.

I laid on him, my hands balled against his chest, eyes squeezed shut tightly.

Who was this person that had saved me? Why hadn't he just let me die??

I opened my eyes slowly, the corner of my tongue tasting the salty drops of tears that had trickled down just awhile ago.

A pair of familiar brown eyes greeted me, glistened over with tears. Hanbin.

Hot tears sprung back to my tears, blinding me momentarily. He had saved me. The irony of it, how I had just been saved by the man who had caused my suicide attempt. 

Emotioms overwhelmed me and I started hitting hard against his chest with my fists, choking on my neverending tears.

"Kim Hanbin you bastard. You selfish bastard. Why did you save me? Why did you let me back into this misery? How could you do this to me? Wae???(Why???) Miwoyo, miwoyo!!! (I hate you!!!)"

I cried, hitting down harder on his chest, wanting him to feel the pain I've felt, and yet my heart ached even more from inflicting this pain on him.

What kind of love was this?

He grabbed my hands gently, and I fought against him, until his torn voice found its way to my ears, releasing my emotions like water from a dam.

"Gwaenchana? (Are you okay?) Are you hurt anywhere?"

His voice was soft, his eyebrows creased with worry as he shifted and got up, pulling me along.

He scanned me over quickly, checking my arms and legs for any signs of injury.

Satisfied that I was okay and didn't have any injuries, he heaved a sign of relief, fingers pressing against his temple in an effort to soothe his headache.

He grabbed my hands again, tighter this time.

"How could you do that to me? Do you know how worried I was? How could you try to suicide and leave me behind?

What were you even thinking, trying to drown yourself like that??? Are you that dumb??? That weak? Are you a weakling, giving up just like that?

All the time you've spent with me, and you still don't know what determination is?!"

He shouted at me, face turning red with effort, the veins on his neck popping out as he strained against it, his voice a loud and enraged holler.

I froze in shock, flustered. This was the first time he'd been so angry and fierce. Yeah, we've fought before, but he has never been this scary, never this ferocious.

Finding my voice, I glared back up at him, nostrils flaring in rage.

Sure, he was angry, but that didn't mean I wasn't.

I was, very.

"Me?? What about you... and that girl. Why do you think I tried to commit suicide? You're a cheater, Kim Hanbin. You have no right to lecture me."

Upon hearing this, his mouth dropped and hung open as shock registered onto his face.

"You... you tried to commit suicide because you saw me with another girl? You... how are you so stupid??? You pabo, how could you??? Why would you commit suicide because of me????"

He cried out, gripping my wrist tighter and tighter.

How could he say this after everything we've been through? Did he really not know? Tears gathered and spilled from my eyes as I took in a huge breathe, readying myself for what was to come next.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU PABO. How would I feel, knowing you cheated on me?? I didn't want to live anymore. Not when you're gone. Not when my dreams are still nothing but dreams."

My eyes burnt with the stinging tears, and I felt all horrible inside, like someone had been sucking my energy out as if it were a sweet drink.

"I cheated on you?? Hyemi ah..."

Hanbin's grip on me softened, as did his brown eyes as he took a step closer to me.

"I would never cheat on you. That was my cousin, we were really close when we were young. I saw her and we were just really glad to reunite. I swear, I have no feelings for her. Never had, never will."

He looked at me earnestly, willing me to trust him, to believe him.

And I did. Part of it was because I trusted that he would never lie to me, he was no pinocchio. And the other was because I desperately wanted to have faith in him. Being stripped of hope felt horrible, and I was ready to grasp onto whatever hope was available.

"So... I misunderstood you?" I stuttered, my face slowly burning as red as a tomato.

"Yes, you misunderstood me. You're such a pabo. I can't believe you.. Don't ever, ever try to commit suicide ever again, alright?

Be it because of me or for something else.. I never want to lose you... Do you have any idea how scared and afraid I was, watching you stand on that railing and almost falling down?

I was scared out of my wits. I didn't know what I was doing, but I ran over the road with all the cars just to drag you down. You're so important to me. What would I do if you were gone?

I can lay down my life for you, but you can't. Not for me, araseo?"

He pulled me in closer, resting his chin on my head. I immediately melted against him, wrapping my arms around his waist and sinking my head into the chest that seemed to be just right for me.

He returned my embrace, arms hugging tightly on my body, his warmth radiating off to me. Desire pulsed through me and I let out a loud sigh, relief flooding through me to be able to even be in his arms now.

"Thank you for not jumping so fast.Thank God you're still alive. I really don't know what I would do if.... if you were gone. I think I'll really go insane. I might just follow after you...."

My heart ached painfully, but it was the right kind of ache. It felt like home inside his arms, as if everything would be okay again. His grip on me didn't loosen, only got tighter as he snuggled his head against my hair and exhaled loudly, relieved.

I can't believe I've almost lost my life over a silly misunderstanding. Hanbin still loved me. That was all that seemed to matter at that moment.

"You're not allowed to die. Never, araseo?"

I whispered softly, my eyes closed, breathing in his scent, sinking deeper into him. I could fall asleep just standing there in his arms, but of course I couldn't. He held me as though I were the most precious and fragile thing in the world, his thumb moving and caressing my back gently.

"Araseo. Mianhae. And Gomawo. Don't forget that I love you." He smiled.

My heart bloomed with joy, and butterflies fluttered around inside my stomach, with the warmth inside to accompany them. I closed my eyes as he gently held my face in between his hands and leaned in, planting a small kiss on my forehead.

His soft lips lingered there awhile longer, and when he broke away, longing was coursing through every inch of me. I stared at his lips, thinking about how stupis I'd been. I'd almost rid myself of the chance to kiss him again by killing myself. Now, it seemed like such a silly and weak thing to do.

"I'm sorry I tried to kill myself. I wasn't thinking clearly."

He stared intensely at me, and with a swift motion, his lips knocked against mine, kissing me passionately. I tasted the saltiness of his tears, and made a silent promise to myself to never let him feel this way again.

Breaking away after a long while, I smiled and whispered back, "Me too, I love you, Kim Hanbin."

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Sorry if there isn't much tension, personally i would prefer to have more sweet moments as i think hanbin as a boyfriend would actually be compromising and wouldnt rly fight much w his gf. And i created this to make fangirls have more feels you know HAHAHAHA SO YEAH ~~~

DONT FORGET TO VOTE !! KAMSAMNIDA!!! <333333