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Chapter forty six: Reality 

"Would you like a bagel?" Evan asked as his teeth crunched into it, judging by how burnt he made it I decided to decline the 'thoughtful' offer.

I wasn't sure why I was still in Los Angeles, maybe it's because I didn't want to tell Henry about the baby or maybe it's because I enjoyed Evan's company too much.

It had been two weeks since the miscarriage which means I've been away from home for a month, this made me a bad mother I know that. Instead of facing my problems head on I am running away from them- scared of the outcome.

"You know, you should probably tell Henry eventually" Evan trailed off "besides you need to bring Ember here so I can see her. I missed the four week deadline if you can remember"

I scoffed "you always run away from your problems. Don't be a hypocrite" I decided on settling for just a black coffee today, the warmness hitting my tongue.

"Have you.. decided if you wanted to be with me?" Evan trailed off awkwardly, his hand going to the back of his neck from nerves.

I smiled briefly before turning my attention back to the mug of coffee "I need to talk to Henry first..."

Evan clenched his jaw and pursed his lips "I don't know why you can't just say yes or no. You love me and I love you so what is so difficult ?"

Furrowing my eyebrows I felt my hands wrap around the mug tighter; any tighter and I would be worried of breaking it as my knuckles turned white.

"It's not that easy, do you not understand that? I'm still trying to process the fact I had a miscarriage" I jeered with distaste, not liking how pushy he was being towards me.

In my heart I already knew I wanted Evan, but I did need to give Henry the proper closure beforehand. I knew if I told Evan my decision he would instantly be all over me like a rash- but I wasn't going to cheat on Henry.

"I'm trying to wait and be patient Maeve! But fucking hell you was going to have his child and you look at me now as if I'm something you should avoid. That isn't us!" He exclaimed with his hand rushing through his hair.

I slammed my mug down on the table "don't make this about you" I warned coldly, my feet now taking me to the guest bedroom. I settled myself into bed and wrapped the duvet over my head; silent sobs escaping my lips,

I hadn't felt this low since the ordeal with my father back in high school, losing a child is something I wouldn't wish on my biggest enemy- it was soul destroying.

My phone began to ring so I answered and held it to my ear, my eyes still wet from tears. "H-hello?" I croaked, not seeing the name on my phone.

"Maeve? Are you okay you sound really upset" Henry's comforting words rang through that made me flinch and a lump form in my throat.

"Oh Henry. Yeah I'm fine" I responded bleakly though anyone could tell I had been crying from my raspy voice.

"That's a lie. I can tell you've been crying" he continued with concern lathering his words "has Evan hurt you?"

I laughed dryly "no, Evan has not hurt me Henry. I'm sorry I'm not home yet"

"It's fine I understand you wanted to look after Evan. How is he now?" He quizzed though I could tell it was more of an interrogation.

"Y-yeah he is doing much better. I'll get a flight home as soon as possible" I told him with shakiness to my voice.

"Why don't I believe that in the slightest" Henry said coldly, I had never heard him be that way towards me before but I brushed it passed me.

"I'm sorry- I will be home" I rambled on though I was becoming less convincing with every word leaving my mouth.

"It's fine as me and Ember are only half an hour away from Evan's place" Henry said flatly "Ember is excited to see her mommy"

My eyes bulged whilst the colour faded from my cheeks "wait, you're in Los Angeles ?" I breathed. I was excited to see them but incredibly nervous as I had to come face to face with reality.

"You seem shocked. You think I could handle a seven year old asking me everyday all day to see you?" Henry chuckled "I'm surprised you have stayed away for this long"

I bit my lip "we have to have a talk Henry. It'll be best to do it when I see you"

There was an uncomfortable silence before Henry let out a deep breath of air "I understand. We will see you soon"

He then ended the call leaving me in a state of panic and shock. Trying to compose myself I paced the bedroom with my hands tugging my hair "fuck fuck fuck"

Evan peeped from the doorway and smiled awkwardly "is that Henry?"

I nodded "you told him your address. When did you care to tell me?"

Evan licked his lips and sighed "it was time for it all to come to light Maeve I'm sorry if you're angry with me"

I shook my head and wiped my cheeks "I'm just scared is all. He isn't going to react well"

Evan wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head "it's going to be just fine. You're going to see Ember at least, that should help"

I sighed and nodded into the crook of his neck "I suppose that's one positive. I just feel guilty as Henry is such a great guy. And it feels dirty of me that I basically used him to settle my wounds"

Evan picked up my chin with his fingers "you didn't know any better like I always say. You thought we were over forever... so you did what you had to, to get through it. At the end of the day we love one another too much to leave one another again"

I started crying again which seemed to rocket out of me harshly, my bottom lip quivering and hands shaking. "T-thank you for sticking by me through everything"