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Chapter forty seven: Last kiss

Ember ran in with the biggest smile a child could own as she leaped into my arms. "Mommy!" She cried into my chest as I picked her up and planted a kiss to her forehead.

"Hey my baby. Has Henry been treating you well?" I asked softly as my fingers grazed a lock of her hair and twiddled it between my finger tips.

She nodded "he is annoying but he gives me chocolate" her little voice made me feel content, I had missed her so much.

I chuckled "is that so, do I want to know how much chocolate you've eaten?"

Ember lowered her gaze "I think you rather not know mommy" she commented briefly with a toothy grin edging towards the surface. Tickling under her arms she threw her head back in a fit of laughter.

"Hey Maeve" Henry greeted as he stood awkwardly with his arms crossed "I have missed you so much"

Biting my lower lip I put Ember on the floor in which she pouted and went over to Evan instead. "Hey there Em, how can you look even more grown up in just a short amount of time?"

"It's been three months daddy" she responded glumly "that's not a short time"

"You're definitely our child" he grimaced as he ruffled her golden locks.

Henry walked over to me and pulled me into a tight hug, my head pressed into his chest. "I'm so happy to see you. Never leave me for a month again"

Pushing his chest back lightly I looked towards Ember and Evan "could you take Ember to the store to get some chocolate ?"

Evan understood what this meant and nodded "would you like that Ember?" To which the little girl rolled her eyes "silly, I don't like chocolate anymore"

I widened my eyes in horror "did Henry give you that much chocolate ?"

Henry looked guilty as charged which made me briefly chuckle. "Okay well Evan will go buy you whatever you want" I stated which made Ember nod her head in approval.

Once they left I pulled apart from Henry and sighed "there are some things we really need to talk about and it's not easy" my heart was thumping as all the air got sucked from my lungs. This was it.

Henry sheepishly took off his jacket and swallowed a heavy amount of saliva "sure, tell me anything"

I guided him to the couch and sat with my legs crossed in-front of him, my hands laced with his as I squeezed them tightly. "H-Henry I was pregnant with our child"

Henry's mouth gaped open in shock as tears brimmed the surface "I'm going to be a dad?" He breathed with a smile crinkling upwards. "Maeve this is good news. Why do you look so upset ?"

I shook my head whilst cupping my cheeks, heart wrenching cries escaping my mouth. "I lost the baby Henry- I had a miscarriage. I was seven weeks pregnant"

Henry clenched his jaw as he tried suppressing his own tears but I could tell how badly this hurt him too, he was devastated. Henry pulled me in for another cuddle but this time he was soothing me by rubbing circles on my back. "I wish I was there for you. I'm so sorry Maeve"

"I'm sorry too. My body wasn't strong enough and- I couldn't save them" I sobbed despairingly "I'm a fucking failure"

Henry grabbed my face "you are not a failure. Do you hear me? This is not your fault"

"It is my fault! Maybe if I wasn't so caught up looking after Evan- if I took attention to my own body and took prenatal vitamins there is so much I could of done to save our child"  I rambled on with a pinked nose and cheeks.

Henry sighed and planted a delicate kiss to my lips so I would stop talking. Hesitant at first I kissed him back and enjoyed the comfort he was giving me. "Please stop being so awful to yourself Maeve. Your body is strong, your mind is strong. This baby was too good for this world but that isn't your fault"

I wiped my eyes as an overwhelming silence grew heavy in the room.

"you're going to hate me for what I'm about to say...that isn't all I want to talk to you about" I mumbled which was barely audible but enough for Henry to hear me.

"I-I love Evan and I cannot stop loving him" I admitted with my cheeks paling. "I'm sorry for hurting you and being such a cunt. I wish I wasn't like this"

Henry didn't speak for a few minutes, his expression stoic; the once charming look he owned was replaced with devastation. Not only did he find out his baby died but also that I loved another man.

"Does this mean.. you're leaving me for him?" He said just above a whisper, his voice desperately trying not to crack.

I gulped saliva "it would be unfair to both of us if I stayed with you. No matter how much I care and adore you"

Henry nodded in understanding "I don't want to keep you from your happiness Maeve. I'm sorry for reacting cold, I just feel broken right now.."

I felt my eyes water again because this was not what I wanted. I didn't want him to feel sad or feel like he did something wrong because he didn't.

"don't you do that. You don't get to apologise because you did nothing wrong. As silly as it sounds Henry you're too perfect for a broken doll like me. I hope you find someone who treats you how you deserve. I'm just sorry I put you through all of this"

Henry pulled me in for a kiss, his lips this time was moving passionately against mine. This would be our last kiss together so I clasped my hand across his cheek and felt that familiar stubble once more. This was insanely difficult because I knew I was so close to loving this man- but it would never compare to Evan.

Pulling away breathlessly I wiped away the stray tears on Henry's face and rested my forehead against his. "Maybe in another life we would of worked out. Thank you for everything Henry"

Henry rubbed a thumb over my cheek and smiled weakly "thank you too for showing me what love is"