34

After almost two weeks, I've come to the conclusion that there isn't anything as "enough" when it comes to Jungkook. Every day that I tried to convince myself I couldn't like him more than I do, I prove myself wrong. It's in the cute notes he leaves in my kitchen whenever he has to leave before I wake up, how he picks me up from work just because he wanted to spend the night with me, or even the way his eyes shine whenever I look at them. Or how supportive he has been with absolutely everything that relates to me -and how he's probably the reason why I'm sitting in front of Jimin while he waits for me to open up.

I tell him absolutely everything that's been going down these weeks, explaining everything I remember about that visit to New Jersey and everything I found out. Actually, most part of the session revolves around that topic and his explanation.

What happened made me view men as a threat, and sex as a punishment. Or, at least, it was like that until I worked on it with Jungkook without even being aware of everything that was happening with me. Apparently the way he insisted on getting close to me, and the way we both started, made it impossible for me to try to step back and run like I was used to doing with other guys.

Nightmares have slowly disappeared, and those small "attacks" I'd have whenever I tried to have sex with him were less frequent -until they stopped happening at all.

—It's really good it has had a good evolution in such a short span of time —Jimin notes—. To be honest, when Jungkook told me about you two, I was concerned about you and the dependency you could build around your relationship with him —he lifts his gaze from the computer—. I still am. But seeing the positive effect it's had, I'll just tell you to be responsible for your state.

There isn't much to discuss, yet he notes down another date for a new appointment. I get up and head to the door. Although before I leave, I turn to him again.

—Did Jungkook get the idea of seeing other people from you?

Jimin presses his plump lips together, and lets his back fall into the backrest. Honestly, while I was hearing him say that, all I could remember is Jungkook's words on how he basically forced me to choose him because of the deal. Considering these two are friends, I wouldn't be surprised at the very least Jungkook took the advice Jimin gave him.

—Don't tell him —he asks me.

So that's a yes.

I'm pissed. Really. It annoys me how he got someone's opinion and decided to run with it, instead of trying to talk to me. And even trying to constantly convince me it was a good idea. I totally understand where he was coming from, but seriously? I should've had the last word. I actually should've been the one to choose. He should've told me at least.

What's up with communication and all that bullshit he talked about when we started our deal?

I sigh, stopping myself from getting even more mad while trying to remind myself he's already moved on from that.

But how can someone be so fucking stupid?

It all seems to vanish when I get a drive to the tattoo studio and I see him working from outside. He's drawing on his notebook, resting half of his body on the counter, with the tip of his tongue perking through his lips while he frowns slightly. How does someone actually get mad at him?

I fucking hate him for this.

He smiles without showing his teeth when the sound of the door gets his attention and he sees me. It's like he has that power to make everything that's wrong disappear with just looking at me.

—I didn't expect you so early —he walks to me.

—I wasn't planning on coming so early either, but since you said Mark wasn't here today...

I take several steps in his direction, just to stop a few centimeters away from him. His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to his body until there isn't a single gap between us. I mirror him, placing my arms around his neck.

—Hey —he whispers, tucking some locks behind my ear.

—Hey —I smile nervously.

He bends over for a short and sweet kiss, resting his forehead on mine while our noses rub against one another.

—Are you still bored?

—You have no idea —he giggles—. I've been here alone all morning —he finally steps back, so he can look at me properly—. There have only been three customers, and they all wanted small tattoos, so it's not like it took a lot of my time. How did it go?

—Good —I nod—. You were right about Jimin —I point out.

—Told you —he heads to one of the rooms, probably to leave his drawings there—. Want to go for a drink later? —he suggests from the other side.

—Why not?

I take a look at all the piercings displayed on the counter on small boxes, and the differences on their shapes depending on what body part they belong to. Totally lost into those metallic pieces that I'm not even aware of when Jungkook returned, until he places his arms around me again.

—Interested in getting one?

—No —I laugh.

—A tattoo then? —the weight of his chin on my shoulder gives me shiverings.

—Hmm... I'm more curious about tattooing one than getting one, actually.

—Is it? —I feel his cheeks move on mine when he smiles— Go for it then.

—Huh? —I look at him confused.

—Come —he says, holding my hand in his to guide my steps.

He stops in the same room we've spent a lot of time in whenever Mark wasn't around, and where he usually tattoos his customers. Jungkook only lets go of me to place the craftelier next to the tattoo stretcher, moving his chair right next to it.

I'm still standing in the same spot, while he gets comfortable on the tattoo stretcher. He pats a few times in his usual seat, inviting me to sit there.

—Are you serious about this?

—Why not? —he frowns.

—Because I'm not a professional like you.

—Just sit here, I'll guide you.

—Kook, I don't even have a design —I complain, while sitting on his chair.

—Just do what crosses your mind.

—If I fuck up your skin...

—Just do a simple one —he encourages me—. Draw whatever you want —he smiles—. Where do you want to do it?

I move my fingers over his skin, finding a ink free spot on his wrist, next to that snake. I rub my thumb over it, and he takes the hint, moving his arm away. I see him opening a plastic package, getting a razor to move it carefully over that spot and get rid of the thin hairs. When he's done, he starts the machine and hands me a pair of gloves, just to give me the pen soon after.

I'm about to start, but Jungkook pulls from my seat, dragging me closer to him. He helps me to place myself properly, so I can do it in the most comfortable way, by placing my fingers the correct way.

At first, he holds my hand with the other, teaching me how deep I have to dig on his skin with the needle. And at some point, he just lets me do my thing, moving my hair away whenever it gets on the way, smiling with curiosity every time I stop to clean the ink.

—Am I hurting you? —I ask, still deep in the drawing.

—It feels like someone is cutting my arm, actually —he jokes—. But I can handle it, because I'm a tough guy.

—Sure —I roll my eyes.

After a few more traces and jokes, I'm finally done. He looks at the reversed simple heart, that has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the designs on his arm.

—A heart?—he smiles shyly.

—It was the only thing I could think about —I hand him the pen—. Nothing too personal. If we ever grow apart, it won't really hold any meaning. And it'll be easier to cover it.

—You did it, so it has a lot of meaning —he turns off the machine—. You're under my skin now.

Jungkook shows off that new tattoo, waiting until I take off the gloves and get rid of everything I've used before he moves the chair closer to him again. Close enough to kiss me just by grabbing my chin.

✸ ✸ ✸

We crossed the door, fingers intertwined in a tight grip, as we got inside the pub where we met -and that I learned some days ago it belongs to Tae, his friend.

Jungkook moves my hand, placing it around his waist, along with my other hand, so I walk behind him while he still holds me close to him. I smile against his nape, unbothered about the large number of people that are here today -mainly because it's a good excuse to be so close to him. Not like we need an excuse, but it just feels good.

These two weeks have been like this, actually. Whenever it's just the two of us, we've been behaving like one of those annoying but cute couples I'd see on the street. Those that are unable to get their hands off each other, to the point that make you want to shout at them to get a room, but that also make you wish you had someone with whom you could act like that. We haven't settled anything, and every time I'd ask Jungkook about it, he'd keep saying it's better not to give it a label for now. And it's not like I need a label either. But sometimes, unconsciously, I'd refer to him as my boyfriend, even if it's just mentally. So it's weird having to remind myself that he isn't exactly my boyfriend... at least not yet.

There's also this big contrast whenever we're alone, or with Jimin and Tae -with whom I've hung out a few times already-, and when we hang out with "Soo's group". We go from being all over each other, to standing ten feet apart.

We ask for our drinks when one of the bartenders is finally free, and I'm almost going to step away as soon as I realize there's a gap next to me, but Jungkook stops me. He wraps his arm around my waist, making sure there's no space between our bodies.

—I want you glued to my body, baby —he whispers into my ear.

He kisses the spot right under my earlobe, knowing damn well while he'll create in me just with that soft touch.

We finally get our drinks and move to the first free table we find. Only for me to realize I didn't get a straw. Jungkook also notices it, but doesn't really mind it on his drink.

—I'll ask for one —he attempts to get up.

—It's alright —I stop him—. They're too busy to just waste their time on a straw.

—You hate the ice hitting your teeth —he stands up either way—. I won't bother anyone. I'll just go and pick one. I'll be right back.

Jungkook kisses my forehead, before he makes his way back to the counter. Only that this time he gets behind it, and starts chatting with the bartender that gave us the drinks and a brunette -that probably also works there. Oh wait, she does work here. I remember her from the last time I was here, she seemed to be into Jin that night.

I look away, moving my focus from those three to the rest of the pub. And I can't help but wonder what's going on today for it to be so full of people today.

—Here —Jungkook says above the hubbub.

—Thanks.

When he sits in front of me and takes a sip from his drink, I can tell something in his vibe has changed. He keeps playing with his lip ring -not in the same way he does when he tries to tease me-, and looks away while playing with the full glass in front of him.

—Are you okay?

—Yeah —he nods—. Why?

—Nothing —I shake my head—. I was just checking.