LX

Calum's POV:

Judging by Ashton's attitude over the phone, I expect Jackie's mood to be sour when she gets back. I wouldn't blame her, it sounded like a mess.

I thought about screaming into his ear through the phone, thought about driving over there when he hung up on me. But I didn't. Because I know he'd never hurt her. And I know that this was something that she had to do on her own.

"I'm here." I hear following a slam of the front door.

"How'd it go?" I ask her, looking down at my phone.

"Well, I'm on suspension." she laughs weakly, "But I think it'll be alright." I'm surprised when I look up from my phone because she doesn't seem mad or upset, just tired and worn out. But her eyes are puffy so I know she's been crying. I guess she got her explanation and I guess it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"Told you." I mutter.

"I brought food." she tosses a fortune cookie at me.

"Panda Express?" I ask, looking over to the plastic bags on the dining table.

"Only the best." she shrugs her shoulders once and smiles but I can see that she's just trying to diminish her post-sobbing state.

"I love you." I say out of the blue.

"Why? 'Cause I brought you food?" she grins, "Because, I mean, if you brought me food I'd probably love you, too. But here's the funny thing," she continues with raised eyebrows, "I think I already love you." Another smile moves across her face, a more genuine one that threatens to meet her eyes.

"So why was he so pissy when I called?" I ask her, trying to ease into asking her what he said that made her eyes so bloodshot.

She shakes her head, "Um, he's not all too happy about us." she gestures between our bodies, her expression growing more serious with each millisecond, "Still." she adds.

"Why?"

"He thinks you're gonna hurt me."

"I'm not gonna - " I start to console her, start to put Ashton's fears or worries that he may have projected onto her to rest, but she cuts me off.

"So let me ask you. I'll only ask once, I promise." she inhales and her stare meet mine. Her blue eyes begging for me to tell her what I know she needs to hear, what I want to tell her, "Are you going to hurt me?"

"No." I tell her with nothing but confidence in my tone. I have no reason to, no desire to, no plans to, and absolutely no willingness to hurt her in any way whatsoever.

"Okay." she nods and bites her lip, "I believe you."

"Are you going to hurt me?" I ask, vulnerability tinging my tone despite my attempt at hiding it.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to." her crimson lips part slightly as she inhales, "And here's the thing - if we don't at least try how are we ever going to know? And if we're worried about whether or not we're going to get hurt then we're not going to try. So we'll see what happens and we'll hope that in the end we're not completely broken human beings." she pauses and inhales again as if she can't get enough air, "Right?"

For the umpteenth time I'm amazed by her unfaltering faith in our relationship. Amazed by her willingness to trust, to love, to live without fears or apprehensions. Amazed by her.

"Exactly right." I breathe, eyes trained on her.

"You okay?" her nose scrunches with concern.

"Mm-hmm." I smile weakly, trying to hide my exhaustion as I rub the back of my neck.

"Liar." she says, grinning.

"I'm just tired. Exams're killing me." And I was worried about you, I think to myself but don't articulate.

"Holy shit." she gasps, her makeup-lined eyes unnaturally wide, sea-colored irises on full display.

I think she's serious, so I ask, "What?", worry thick in my voice.

But she just breaks out laughing, "You're studying?"

"Um, yeah?" I laugh, taking a bite of an egg roll.

"You wanna help me study for my Brit Lit final?" she grins at me, "We can, like, read poetry to each other. You know, super romantic shit like that." she giggles.

"Well, I don't think I can turn down an opportunity to experience 'romantic shit' like that, babe." I shrug my shoulders and shake my head.

I feel myself smirking but I can't help it. She makes me happy. Happier than anyone else ever has. Happier than anyone ever will, I think.

"Mm, it's a date then. Does tomorrow at noon work for you?" she asks, knowing full well that I'd make time for her if she wanted to study at four in the morning, let alone noon.

"Well, I guess I can make time." I look down to my wrist, consulting a nonexistent watch to check the time, "But it's a study date." I say with fake sternness filling my voice, "So don't try anything with me. I'm only your tutor. We'll only talk about Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe, nothing more."

"Edgar Allen Poe was American, Cal. I'm in British Literature." she giggles.

"I meant Shakespeare and Emily Dickenson." I mutter, my confidence dwindling rapidly.

"Ah, yes, Emily Dickenson, another fellow American." she laughs even harder.

"For fuck's sake." I curse between laughs, "Just Shakespeare, then. We'll only talk about Shakespeare."

"What about Chaucer?" she says with a look of mock sadness.

"Now you're just taunting me." I choke out, watching at her examine me as I laugh.

"But it's oh-so-fun, Cal." she winks and I melt under her stare.

We make small talk as we eat, arguing over poets, talking about music and I'm fixated on her lips as she says, "I missed you today."

"You weren't gone that long." I tell her, thinking to myself that I missed her, too, thinking about how worried I was about her after that phone call that was answered by Ashton but intended for her.

"Yeah. No." she hiccups, "You're right. Sorry, that was a stupid thing for me to say." she mumbles shyly, shaking her head.

"But I missed you, too. More than I care to admit." I speak, a smirk tugging at my mouth again.

I take a second just to look at her. And she looks at me, too. And we're just looking at each other. And I'm just thinking about how I'd do practically anything for the girl before me. And I'm wondering if she'd do the same for me. And I'm thinking about how badly I want to kiss her right now. And I'm wondering if she wants to kiss me, too.

"What?" she asks innocently, her eyes glittering with excitement and I can't take it anymore. I stand from my chair and lean across the small table, my hand meeting her jaw softly, trailing to the nape of her neck, pulling her face to mine. I feel her lips on mine, I taste her cherry flavored lipstick that dyes them daily, and I feel her need that's mirrored by my own.

"God," she breathes when we break from one another, both breathless "how do you do this to me?" I watch her eyebrows draw together, watch her nose scrunch, watch her eyes burn into mine with such awe that it makes me smile.

And I know what she means. I think about how my pulse races when I hear her say my name, how my head aches with adrenaline when she says she loves me, how my heart breaks when she cries, how the world just falls away when she kisses me.

"The same way you do it to me." I answer simply.

"It's addicting. You're addicting." she breathes, pulling me back to her, our lips meeting again.

I feel her smile into the kiss and somehow I know everything's going to be okay. That if we hold onto one another for support, lean on each other in hard times, laugh with each other in the good times, everything will fall into place.

That's my hope, anyways.

And hope counts for something, right?

Jackie's POV:

I asked Calum to help me with my British Literature homework last night. Even though I know most of the material, it's nice to listen to him read it. But it's been a couple of hours now, and my ears are numbed by the seemingly endless poems and sonnets that were covered during the semester.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate." Calum says in a husky British accent in an attempt at impersonating Shakespeare.

"I'm pretty sure he didn't talk like that." I giggle.

"Have you ever met the guy?" he challenges with a shrug of his shoulders, "You never know."

He clears his throat and starts again but I cut him off.

"Okay, okay. I like you. I like this class. But my head's gonna explode if I hear anymore about his girlfriend." I groan.

"But Jackie, Shakespeare's girlfriend's like a fucking summer's day. Don't you realize how bloody monumental this is?"

"Um, no?" I laugh at his suddenly passionate demeanor.

"This is life changing. This is state of the art. This is ethereal. This is unworldly. This is - " his voice is filled with sarcastic amazement.

"This is lame." I cut him off and he laughs at my monotone attitude. "I have a proposition for you." I quirk a brow at him.

"I'm listening." he says between chuckles.

"You give me Luke's number and I leave you alone to study your own stuff. Basically you give me his number and I release you from your Shakespeare proclaiming duties" I mutter quickly.

"Well, first off, I'm enjoying my Shakespeare proclaiming duties quite a lot. Mostly just 'cause it gives me an excuse to hang out with you." he smiles widely, and my heart flutters at the thought of him wanting to spend time with me. I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing him admit it. I'll never get tired of his smile either. I don't think I'll ever get tired of him, "And secondly, "Why do you want Luke's number?" he asks with raised eyebrows, his smile fading slowly.

"Because." I reply vaguely.

"You know, if you want to break up you can just say so." he says flatly and I feel my face drop as my mouth opens in shock. He sees my reaction and speaks again, "I'm kidding, babe." he gets a good laugh in but my cheeks are reddened with embarrassment.

"Jesus Christ, Cal." I scoff, shaking my head, "If you must know I need to go Christmas shopping for you." I add pointedly.

"You don't need to get me anything." he shakes his head, still wearing a smile, eyes glittering with amusement at my flustered state.

"Cal," I whine, "just let me buy you something." I pause and inhale, watching his smile grow even wider before I speak again, "And I, uh, I would take Ash. But I mean, he's kind of like, taking a break from our friendship or some shit like that so he's pretty much out of the running for the time being." I ramble.

"So Luke'll be filling in for Ash?" he asks and I can see him holding back a grin.

"Mm-hmm?" I ask/state.

"What's his job title?" he teases.

"'Boyfriend's-Best-Friend', of course." I answer with a laugh, "Second in line only to 'My-Best-Friend-Who-Temporarily-Despises-Me'."

"Here." he hands me his phone with Luke's number on the screen, setting the thick textbook filled with poems about everything under the sun onto the tabletop causing a gentle but hearty thud.

"So what do you want for Christmas?" I glance over to him as I transfer the number into my phone.

"You." he says, grinning mischievously. If my cheeks weren't red before then they definitely are now. His statement throws me off balance. I was expecting 'Nothing much. DVDs would be good, I guess.' or 'I don't know, a sweater maybe.', but not 'You.'.

"I, uh - well, it's - " I stutter with a huff. My eyes lock with his brown ones that are filled with such amusement that it amplifies my embarrassment, "Damn you." I laugh, realizing how his words affect me. Realizing for the first time, his complete awareness of how his words affect me. His understanding of what to say, how to say it, and the best time to say it to maximize my reaction. His understanding that catching me off guard seems to work every single damn time.

"You're hot when you're all flustered like that." he smiles.

"Oh my God, Calum." I scoff, burying my face in my hands.

"Hey," he says, walking around the table to me. I hear his feet hit the floor with each step and anticipation builds within me. I keep my eyes shut as my hands still cover them. I feel his long fingers wrap around my wrists easily and he pulls my hands away gently, taking the seat next to me. I'm giggling like an idiot, the embarrassment flowing from my mouth. Until his lips are on mine, muting the sound. I feel him smile against me and I can't help but do the same.

God, I love him, I think in some untouched, pure, unpolluted part of my mind.

Then a second thought - Is he thinking the same thing right now? Is he admitting to himself that he loves me? I hope so. I really, really do. Because more than anything, I hope I'm not the only one feeling this way. I hope I'm not alone in my descent into the euphoric oblivion that everyone calls love. I hope he's falling right beside me.

And a third - It'd be pretty damn funny if I were to call Luke right now.

Yes, good idea.

I glance sideways and hit the green button on my phone's screen, dialing Luke "Mmm - hello?" I say, putting my phone to my ear as I pull away from Calum slightly.

My lips still tingle from the contact. My head spins from the sensation. And I hunger for more. But the look on Calum's face is priceless.

"Is that - " he starts to ask, mouth hanging open with surprise, and I cut him off.

"Hey, Luke, how're you?" I look up at the brown-eyed boy before me to see him scowling at the phone in my hand.

"You just had to call him right now, didn't you?" he growls as his gaze meets mine and I see a glint of challenge in his irises. Challenge to tell Luke we'll call him back later. Challenge to kiss me again and see how long before Luke hangs up.

"The holiday season has arrived, m'dear, there's no time to waste." I joke, covering the mic of the phone.

"Who is this?" I hear Luke chuckle in my ear.

"Oh, it's Jackie, sorry. I, uh, I was calling to see if you'd be willing to go, like, shopping with me, maybe? I know we're not like super close or anything, but Ash and me aren't talking right now and you're second in command, I guess." Calum's laughing at my awkwardness as I switch it over to speakerphone for him to hear, too.

"Right now?" he asks.

"What could you possibly be doing that's more important than spending time with me?" I tease, keeping eye contact with Calum the entire time.

"Luke, just get your arse over here and take my girlfriend Christmas shopping for fuck's sake." Calum demands playfully and I bite back a giggle.

"Okay, but isn't that your responsibility?" Luke chuckles.

"Something secretive's happening, apparently." Calum answers, quirking a brow at me.

"I like secrets. I'll be over in fifteen." Luke answers, more peppy than I expected.

"Hey, hey." Calum catches him before the line goes dead.

"What?"

"Don't forget to wear a smile." Calum wiggles his eyebrows at me playfully and I can't hold in my laughter any longer.

I hear Luke laugh, too, as he speaks, "Always, mate. Always."

"Thank you!" I tell him before I hear the click of disconnection.

...

"This is wrong. Sending you off with my best friend." Calum eyes Luke suspiciously as we make our way to the front door.

I stop in my tracks and walk over to him, leaning against the counter, a cup of tea in his hand.

"I'll meet you in the car, yeah?" I say over my shoulder to Luke who's stifling a laugh as I stop in front of Calum, taking the cup from his grasp and setting in onto the counter beside him.

"Mm-hmm." he nods, turning on his heel starting toward his car.

"Now." I giggle, "You."

"Yes, me." he laughs, too.

"You don't need to worry." I say, straightening the collar of his flannel shirt, fingertips trailing down to brush over his fabric-covered collarbones. "At all." I add, standing on my toes to lean my forehead against his. "Okay?" I ask softly, eyes locking with his. At our close proximity I see the different colors in his irises, the dilation of his pupils, the lust and worry mixing dangerously in them.

He doesn't answer me. He just kisses me. But that's answer enough.

"I'll be back." I say, pulling away, "I love you."

"Ditto." he says, shaking his head with disbelief as a grin creeps onto his features slowly.

A/N: How've you guys been?

Chapter 60! And 8000 reads! I seriously can't thank you guys enough, that's absolutely amazing.

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