64. Kisame's Porn

HOES ITS ME!

IM BACK!

Enjoy!

<3

UNEDITED

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

He gave her a toothy grin. "Just kidding! We got his body."

"What...." Sakura trailed off confusedly.

"the-" Deidara spluttered.

"-fuck?" Akina ended the question, her tears stopping.

"Kisame.." Sasuke glowered at him, as he entered the house, flicking mud of his clothes. He glanced at their horror stricken faces.

"Hn. So you went against what I said?"

He snickered. "I had to! It was revenge for Akina cock blocking me!"

He activated his mangekyou. "You know, I think I should just send the Amaterasu flames on you." He spoke casually, however a hint of darkness was seeping from his words. Kisame took a step back, his eyes switching between the two furious genin. 

"I don't like people who disobey me."

He gave a lazy grin. "The horror was worth it."

The Senju stood up, her eyes a pitch shade of black as the rinnegan swirled in her eyes. Sakura's eyes widened at the raw energy of chakra exiting her body. She waved her hand in front of her.

"Akina please calm down."

"ARE YOU CRAZY, UN?! WHAT TYPE OF A PERSON WOULD TELL AN UPSET PERSON TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN?!"

"Chidori stream!"

She raised her hand. "Almighty Push!"

Kisame went flying through the doors as all the windows and exits in the house rattled, each closing and locking themselves automatically. Deidara yelped, grabbing Sakura.

"Its straight out of a horror movie and I don't like it."

Sakura snickered. "What are you five?"

Sasuke shot an irritated glance at Akina. "Should've killed his annoying ass. He almost left me back there and dropped me in the middle of the forest."

"Now, does anyone else want to play a prank on me?"

"..I take that back. Deidara, she's all yours."

He shot the both of them an annoyed look as he held Akina's shoulders, relaxing her instantly. "I have Itachi. Lets go."

Akina nodded, heading towards the medical room with the scroll he handed her. Sasuke paused, turning to look at them behind his back. "Make yourselves useful for once. You're all annoying."

"Permission to kill the Uchiha bastard?"

"Denied, unfortunately so." An irk mark appeared on both their foreheads.

Akina began the 'reviving process'. 

Her hands were burning strongly, shaking under the pressure. It was worse now, especially since it was the last day to revive him. The earlier she revives the body, the easier it is.

She was alone in the room as the others waited outside, giving her space. Kisame was locked out of the house and would be until she felt he could come back in. After all, his porn stash was in his room and she knew exactly what to do with them.

Minutes later, she fell back on her chair with an exhausted sigh. "Its done."

Getting up, she walked out of the door and nodded at Sakura. "Itachi's eye transplant. Get to it."

"On it! Sasuke, get the eyes." Sakura nodded at him who grabbed another scroll.

"No, I have a better idea.." She trailed off, remembering the spare eyes in her room. One of them was...

"Sasuke, your father.. he was known as Wicked Eye Fugaku during the Shinobi World War, was he not?" Akina turned towards him as he nodded grimly.

"Why not give Itachi his own eyes?"

"Because.. I have a feeling he'd give that to you, especially since you awakened your mangekyou. He won't be able to see with his own eyes anyways. But, you have a chance." She bit her lip, thinking it over.

"There's fifty percent chance that it might work. Madara said he took his brother's eyes. It all comes down to family relations. Any family member can do however, its better to take your sibling's." Sasuke headed towards her room, explaining as he did. "It was mentioned in the Uchiha scrolls I read."

"Do any of you remember how his eyes looked like?" Deidara furrowed his eyebrows as she blanched.

"... No, I don't."

"I know them." He reappeared from her room, carrying the scroll in his hands. "I remember my father's eyes."

Sakura cracked her knuckles. "Then lets get to it. Hopefully Itachi-san won't wake up in the middle of the surgery."

Akina shook her head and they entered the room. "If he does.. then that's too bad. I'm not feeling very forgiving at the moment."

Kisame banged on the door. "Can I come back in?! Guys? GUYS!"

Three Days Later..

The Senju groaned, rolling over in the bed as the door burst open. "Akina, wake up!"

"No!"

"But-"

"No!"

"Ita-"

"No!"

"Will you let me fi-"

"No!"

"You're a bi-"

"No!"

"Sasuke's ga-"

"No!"

"You've been here for thr-"

"No."

"Itachisawakeandaskingforyou.HealreadytalkiedtoSasuke.Getupandtalktohimnow."

"No. In other words, I'm politely telling you to fuck off."

"Quit being a coward and talk to him! Jeez its been an entire day!" Sakura growled. Marching towards the sleeping female, she picked her up, slinging her over her shoulders.

"Sakura! Let me go!"

"Try me, bitch."

She pulled her pink hair and Sakura fumbled, yelping in pain as she turned around trying to stop her. Akina banged her head against the wall and both of them let out groans of pain as they fell on each other.

"And that's our leader." Deidara commented dryly.

"Shut up, cross dresser!" Akina shot him a halfhearted glare as she got up, holding the back of her head and wincing in pain.

"That was one time! Let it go!"

"Never." She replied scathingly, pausing slightly as she heard Kisame talking in a hushed voice from the medical room.

"Kisame! How the hell did he enter?"

"Well about that.."

Akina turned to glare at Deidara. "You let him in?!"

"Uh," He sweat dropped. "He had some really good blackmailing stuff... I couldn't refuse him."

"Besides, Itachi-san wanted to talk to all of us alone. I couldn't deny the patient." Sakura ended it sheepishly.

"How's his lungs doing?" 

She frowned. "Not good. I don't know how he survived that for so long. Its tuberculosis."

"Tube-what now?" Akina blinked.

"Its tuberculosis, nasty disease, hm." Deidara shook his head, removing his hairdo and letting his blonde hair fall over. Sakura handed him her comb as he began straightening it, removing the knots.

"Causes a lot of harm to your lungs, makes you cough blood and everything. On top of that, he was going blind."

"Luckily enough, its not a chakra related disease like I originally thought it was. Those are hard to cure."

"Why do I sense there's a but coming?" Akina sighed, massaging her temples.

"But.. its affecting his lungs and he may need a lung transplant." 

Silence ensued. 

"Okay, I get stocks of having eyes but lungs?! " She shook her head. "Where the hell am I gonna find that?"

"A hospital, un."

"Great, lets just add robbing a hospital to the list of things to do!" 

"Can't we like.. buy it or admit him in a hospital where he won't be recognized?" Deidara sighed. "I think your brain cells are lacking, Akina."

She flushed. "I'm sorry. Its just that my mind gets a little too crowded with thoughts sometimes and stops working."

"And that's why you should talk to us about this stuff," Sakura admonished her as Akina sulked in the corner, depression lines covering her. "That's not going to let you off the hook!"

Kisame stepped out of the room with a tense face, immediately brightening up when he saw the Senju moping in the corner. "I'm back!" He gave a smug smile.

"I know."

"No sucker punch? No insults? No threats?" He asked confused.

"Hn. You're safe.. but I can't say the same about your porn stash you hid under the floor. It was easy to find them. Its where a typical teenage boy would hide his stash." She turned around, smirking as she stared into his beady eyes with a dark gaze. "I burnt them."

He screamed loudly. "MY PORN!"

"That's such an obvious place, un!" Deidara shook his head in disappointment.

"I also burnt your mangas. What were they called again? Oh, ore no hentai tomodachi, Meaty Minxes, Whispers After Class and Velvet Kiss."

"NO!" Kisame slumped to the down in a puddle of water as he sobbed animatedly. "M-my mangas.."

Sakura wrinkled her nose in disgust. "What a pervert.."

"Your taste is very bad, Kisame." Akina hummed. "Temptation was better. You should buy that next."

"Why?! So you can burn them again!" He snapped. "DON'T INSULT MY WAIFUS!"

A pair of devil horns and tails appeared on Akina. "Oh damn, my plans were revealed but I saved this for the last!" She held up a volume of another manga, chuckling darkly. 

"Boku no pico? Now, now, I didn't know you like pedophilic fantasies Kisame. All the lolita types and small boys should stay away from you, hentai baka. Speaking of which, no ice cream for you! Especially not vanilla."

"It was for the literature!" He paled considerably.

Akina smiled twirling a strand of her hair before setting the book aflame with a lighter. "But this version only has pictures."

Kisame slumped to the ground, fainting. Deidara nudged him with his foot. "Akina, I think you broke him, un."

She grinned. "Never underestimate my power to break someone down mentally."

"What the hell is Temptation? Akina, this better not be a porno!" Sakura raised her fists threateningly.

"Oh no, I have better tastes. Its a slow burning romance with a few mature scenes. The name is very sensual though, giving people the wrong meaning. In fact, you should read it!"

The pinkette eyed her distrustfully. "Don't give me that crap."

 "Hey! Its about a girl who falls in love with two men. Its heartbreaking for her to choose you know."

Sakura sighed. "Then its obvious. She obviously will choose the first male lead!"

"First lead?" Akina furrowed her eyebrows.

"Yeah, the guy who enters first duh. Or the guy who's a real prick but a real softie inside. Let's face it, nice guys never win."

Deidara raised an eyebrow. "Why not choose the nice guy? I mean, he's nice for a reason."

Both girls shrugged. "The bad boy cliche is old, but no one can get enough of it. Its also a fact that most people prefer the emo cliche too. Its mysterious."

Akina snorted under her breath. "Yeah, like you and I crushing on Sasuke."

Just then two pairs of footsteps entered the room, pausing as the trio turned to look at them.

"Why's Kisame on the ground?" Itachi furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Hn." Sasuke kicked him slightly and Kisame rolled over to show him foaming at the mouth.

"Akina broke him, un. She burnt his porn stash and he'll be out for a while." Deidara spoke first, sensing the odd tension between the Uchiha brothers and the glowering Senju.

It was odd, filled with love, anger and sorrow. There was a tint of desperation along with slight resentment. Yeah, things were not okay between either of them. He could sense from the beginning that Akina and Sasuke had some talking to do, something to explain to one another but they waited until the mission was over. Sasuke was dead set furious with Itachi and Akina as well. Meanwhile, Akina stared at the elder Uchiha with a poker face, her tongue rolling slightly in her mouth.

Now everything would come out and Deidara wanted to stay, preferably watch the drama with a tub of popcorn. Sakura raised an eyebrow, leaning against the corner next to Deidara.

She whispered, "Is it just me or.. is there some kind of energy between the three of them?"

"No, its them. There's gonna be a lot of explanations to be done."

She hesitated. "I didn't mean it that way. I meant that they're giving each other the eyes."

He shook his head, confused. "The eyes? Their kekkei genkai isn't activated."

"Forget it." Sakura face palmed.

Itachi spoke first- "Akina, can we talk privately?"

She hummed, playing with her hair as a dark gaze came over her. "Why don't you use your tsukuyomi to just force me to listen to you while you torture me? Its not like you haven't done it before."

He grimaced, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them back up. "Please?"

"Please what? I'm not sure what you mean, Itachi?" She spoke testily.

"Please, can we talk privately?" 

"Well you see, I'm with my friends and I trust them. Whatever you want to say to me, can be said in front of them." She gave him a fake smile, hugging them from the back and they stiffened as the Uchiha's gaze fell on them.

"Akina, I'm sure we can lea-" Sakura spoke timidly but hissed in pain as Deidara elbowed her harshly. He smirked, jumping internally with joy at the thought of irking Itachi further and staying for the drama.

"What Akina said, un."

Itachi's gaze rested on her poker face once more, sighing. "Then leave it be."

I'll talk to you later.

Sasuke spoke up now, his gaze intense. "Akina, I don't mind talking here at all. In fact, you owe me some explanations."

"Hn." Akina nodded in agreement, releasing her grip on Deidara and Sakura. "I do. Lets go somewhere private."

She moved past Itachi who blocked the entrance, and he grabbed her wrist pulling her close to him. "Akina, please don't blow me off like this. I'm sorry."

She grit her teeth. "Itachi, not now."

His jaw twitched with annoyance. "You're acting like a selfish bitch, you know that?"

The sound resonated through the empty house as everyone's mouth fell open. Sasuke merely raised an eyebrow, not knowing what his brother was thinking. 

She had slapped him, a red hand print left on his left cheek. "A selfish bitch?! You have the audacity to say that to me, out of all the people?" She shook her head in disgust, tears blurring her vision but she didn't let them fall. Akina took a step away from him, her lips trembling.

"You're a jerk."

Then she left, going upstairs to her room as Itachi rubbed his cheek softly, a thoughtful look on his face.

Sasuke sighed. "Really? Did you have to do that Itachi?"

"Forgive me, otouto. I just wanted to know how upset she was. I couldn't figure out what she was feeling."

"Of course she was upset!" Sakura yelled. "How did that not strike you, you emotionally constipated Uchihas?!"

"Well, you made it worse that's for sure. What's wrong with you, hm?!" Deidara scowled.

"I wanted a reaction from her, anything would be fine. I know I deserved the slap and for her to do that and not feel guilty, I had to push her limits. I thought the slap would make her feel better." Itachi spoke softly, wincing at the delicate skin.

"You could've just asked her to, no need to call her a selfish bitch! You made her more hurt than angry." Sakura face palmed.

"... I may have phrased that incorrectly."

"You think?" Sasuke spoke dryly, his eye twitching. "You have no idea how to handle upset girls, do you?"

"Trust me, he doesn't." Kisame spoke from the ground, surprising the others. He stood up. "Once, Itachi told a crying hooker who got rejected by her crush that she was trying too hard and that she looked artificial."

"But it was true."

Deidara winced. "Kami, you really are terrible at this aren't you? You should've told her that she looked beautiful, but she'd look even better without makeup on and wearing normal clothes and tell her that the guy doesn't deserve her. Let her down softly."

"But, why must I lie?"

There was a series of collective groans across the room. "Seriously, one day he's gonna get slapped and I won't stop the female."

Sakura scowled. "If you hurt Akina again, I will hurt you."

Kisame frowned, whispering into Deidara's ears. "He used to take well care of Akina at the base, even hugging her. What happened here?"

"I think he's a masochist." The blonde said out loud. Sasuke coughed slightly, looking away. "I might agree with you on that."

"What's that?"

"Someone who gets off on inflicting pain on others. Damn, you're pretty innocent." Kisame turned to face a blushing Sakura who then looked at Itachi for confirmation.

He sighed. "I'm not."

"...."

Everyone simultaneously thought the same thing.

'You definitely are.'

.

.

.

What Really Happened when Akina cock blocked Kisame...

Location: Akatsuki Base

Kisame roughly pulled at the female's hair as she panted heavily, a lust filled gaze in her eyes. He kissed her hungrily, using his other hand to trail down towards her ass before he groped it harshly.

She let out a moan as he sucked on her tongue, her hands trembling in impatience as she tried to get rid of Kisame's shirt and began unbuttoning his pants next.

"Mmm... More, Kisame-sama!"

Kisame smirked as he threw her one the bed and grabbed her wrists, pinning them above her head and he suckled on her sensitive skin on the neck, leaving bruises all over. She trembled and mewled for him, the pleasure making her want him.

"Kisame!" Akina grinned, banging on the door loudly.

"You wanna play go fish with Itachi and I? We're bored." She snickered into her hand, her eyes glancing at the sock on the door knob of the room as the noises came to a stop.

"No! Leave me alone woman!" He yelled from inside as the kissing noises continued.

Itachi gave her a warning glance. "Don't disturb him."

She stuck her tongue out at him in a childish manner as the noises turned louder. Akina cackled and Itachi didn't feel sad for his partner.

She did the transformation jutsu, turning into a woman with a large bust, wide hips and a small waist. Her hair was a luscious black which reached her waist and she had enchanting purple eyes with a delicate face. Her lips were a rosy red and she was wearing a red top with short shorts, almost revealing her ass.

Akina transformed into the physical appearance of a character in Icha Icha.

Ami.

The Uchiha merely sniffed. "You look terrible."

She frowned. "I thought I look hot."

"You look like a stripper."

"Don't guys like that? I mean, big boobs and a killer body. I'm even wearing heels." She complained.

He wanted to roll his eyes. "Only idiotic boys with dicks for brains would like that. You are much more beautiful than this.. girl whoever she is. Physical appearance such as boo-"

Itachi blushed a little as he chose a few other words to replace what he was going to say. "I mean, female.. parts isn't everything. Men should love their wives and girlfriends for who they are and what they have. It shouldn't matter to anyone and it doesn't matter to me."

I'll still like you even if you were flat.

Akina was still, as the noises ensued in the background. No one had ever said that to her before. From being around people like Kisame, Hidan and by reading books like Icha Icha, she'd never thought of it that way.

She could hear her heart beating faster and faster in her body, even feel it. A blush rose up on her cheeks.

The sound of a scream from inside jolted her out of her dreamworld and she narrowed her smoky black eyes at the door. Itachi took a few steps back into the shadows where he wouldn't be visible, deciding to just watch and enjoy. His lip reading would be enough for this.

"Honey bear!" Akina barged into the room, her eyes visibly widening at their position before, she forced her bile threatening to come out inside.

They were doing the classic 69.

The female shrieked and reached for the covers trying to cover her nude body as Kisame let out a womanly shriek. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

Akina smirked, getting into character as she puckered her lips. "Honey~ I missed you and you're fucking another girl? How could you forget me? I'm Ami."

The girl glared at Kisame before smacking him harsh. "How dare you cheat on her?! She's beautiful! You damn pervert stay away from me! I'm not a side whore for you to fuck nor am I a cheater."

The girl hurriedly put on her belongings and left shooting Akina a sultry smile. "I go both ways. A cheater isn't worth your time, darling. Just ask for Aika whenever you want. I'll be sure to show you the time of your life."

Akina shivered before nodding at the girl. Aika smacked her bottom as she headed out before heading out, making the Senju almost faint. Itachi's eyes were wide open in shock as he recomposed himself.

Kisame crawled into the blankets, his face completely purple as he viewed the beautiful female in front of him. His eyes widened.

"A-Ami from Icha Icha?"

Akina tossed her hair. "Who else, baby boy?"

She was on the verge of dying from laughter. Kisame was intoxicated heavily and he didn't realize its not true. He groaned, sitting up straight.

"Ami, you look hotter than I ever imagined. This dream is amazing!"

Akina walked up to him, grabbing a flogger from Kami knows where as she smirked, lightly touching the leather material softly with her long manicured fingers, her nails a color black.

Kisame shrieked, as he grabbed himself. "I'M TOO INNOCENT FOR THIS SHIT! LEAVE ME ALONE! RAPE RAPE HELP ME ITA-"

Akina gently raised the flogger, using the material to drag it across his lips and she let out a shushing sound, as if gently telling a child to shut the fuck up.

Kisame's beady eyes met Itachi's red glowing ones, and all was lost as the shark man was lost in a genjutsu filled with his fears.

Cockblocking.

Butterflies.

Hawks.

Spiders.

The author of Icha Icha dying.

Dying.

Butterflies. And more butterflies.

And did I mention cock blocking?

Yeah, that too.

The duo high fived each other and Akina returned to her normal self blowing an air kiss to the Uchiha as he rolled his eyes muttering a 'hn'.

Translation: That's enough, Akina.

"You gotta admit it, it was fun."

He smiled softly at her jumping up and down. "Yes, it was."

Hi there.

I'm just here to say that I am temporarily leaving wattpad for a while so that I can concentrate on my exams. (not that I need to, I mean I am scoring pretty well but I'm kinda getting addicted to writing which is not good...)

I'll come online once a week or so maybe to reply to comments. I might be back here to stress write at random times. Or I might be online just to talk to a few of you guys who do DM me because I like helping y'all and I don't wanna lose in touch with you gentle souls. Or I might be here reading a few updates from my favorite books because I seriously can't live without them.

(This one book out there has me DYING for an update as soon as I finish the chapter.. ugh)

Whatever the case is, please do wait patiently for the next chapter.

Also you really thought Itachi died?

Lmao I can't kill my beau. He needs to be saved. Only one reader caught it though that it was a prank.

I have three chapters of the tsukuyomi arc already ready in my drafts. I just need to finish Pain's arc and then I shall update you with very weird and hilarious chapters. 

Consider this chapter as an early present for my one year anniversary on the 24th.

:)

Love you guys,

Blue