Chapter 11

"Jade?" I whispered as I walked into her room. Tracy was standing behind some nurses, watching intently. I approached the huddle and squeezed through, only to find Jade laying there, her eyes wide and confused.

"Mumma-" She tried to speak, but ended up coughing. 

"Hi, baby. I'm here. You see? I'm right here," I reached for her hand and gripped it tightly. Her large eyes kept searching the room, blinking and as wide as a deer in headlights.

"Mumma!" She started to scream. I felt something surge through my entire body. "Mumma! Mumma!" 

"Baby, I'm right-"

"Mumma!" Her little voice screeched. I pushed the nurses out of the way and bent down to Jade's level, lowering my face to hers. I sat onto the edge of the bed and cradled her in my arms. 

"Jade, I'm right here. Hear me? I'm right here," I whispered into her ear. Her heavy breathing settled and her body relaxed in my arms. "Look, angel, I'm right here." I pushed her away slightly, hoping she'd see it's me. But her eyes just wandered.

"Doctor, I-"

"We're going to run tests. I must ask you to leave." I started to panic. They're not pushing me away from my baby when she just woke up. I shook my head and reached for Jade as the nurses held me back. I turned around to see Zayn with red eyes and Tracy biting her nails.

"No!" I yelled. I felt hands grip my arms and pull me back, away from my little girl. This isn't fair. She just woke up. I just saw her beautiful, brown eyes. They can't force me away. "Let me go!"

"Raven, relax. It's going to be okay-" Zayn tried to settle me down, but I just tried breaking free of his grasp. I eventually gave up as his arms snaked around my waist and pulled me out the door.

"No, I need to be in there. She's scared! She's-" I tried to go back into the room, but a nurse shut the door. 

"Raven, you need to calm down. She's okay. She's awake. She's alive. Let the doctors do their work." He placed his hands on my shoulders and massaged them lightly. "Just come with me to the waiting room, ok?"

I nodded in return and took some deep breaths. Tracy was following behind, ringing Kris to tell him the current news. "You should call the boys, Zayn."

He shook his head. "Not until I know exactly how she is," he said quietly.

"Can't you see? She's fine. She's awake-"

"You're going to pretend that she could see you, when she couldn't?" He turned his head to me sharply. "Ray, she couldn't see you."

"She was scared, Zayn! She was panicking!" I tried to defend Jade, but it started to sink in that she really couldn't see me.

"No, Raven. Something is wrong. That's why they're doing tests, Ray! They're seeing what's wrong!" He pulled on his hair and fell into a chair. He began to mumble stuff to himself as he rocked back and forth.

I stood still, surprised at his outburst. I saw Tracy standing outside, pacing back and forth on the phone, looking upset. Am I really that blinded to see that something is wrong? I sat down next to Zayn and placed my hand on his knee. He peeked up to me through his thick eyelashes and wiped away the tears. I cupped his cheek and wiped away the wetness with my thumb. 

"We're here together. So, let's get through this together," I whispered. He nodded a couple times and looked me in the eyes. I leant in and kissed him, allowing our cares to just go away for a moment. 

"I love you both, so much," he said softly.

"I know the boys miss you and management wants you to go back to the concerts, but I wouldn't be able to get through this without you, Zayn," I said honestly. 

He nodded once and swallowed. "I wouldn't let you go through this with out me."

I smiled and leant back into the chair, waiting for the doctor. Zayn's hand fell onto my thigh and he rubbed slightly with his thumb. Tracy came in, arms crossed over her chest and her eyes on the ground.

"You okay?" I asked. 

She nodded. "Kris is coming down as soon as he can." 

I nodded, mimicking her, and stared down to my lap. Waiting is the worst part. We waited for almost 2 weeks for Jade to wake up, and now that she is awake, I can't even be with her. Now I have to wait again? It's not even remotely fair. I have faith in God, but it's slowly fading. I need Jade to just be ok. I want her to come running down the hallway, into Zayn's and my arms, giggling uncontrollably. But that won't happen for a while- that's what scares me. If that never happens again, I won't be able to go about life. It would be the hardest thing to live with.

After a few hours, a doctor, followed by a nurse, came out. "Jade Taint's family?" Tracy, Zayn, Kris and I all stood up. "Her parents." 

Tracy and Kris sat down as Zayn and I walked towards the doctor. Zayn's arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close. "Hello, I'm Dr. Vincent."

Zayn and I chorused, "Hello."

"Jade is awake, as you know. But there's some news. Let's take a seat." He led us to the chairs. We sat down, quite a distance away from Tracy and Kris. "First, Jade lost a lot of blood during the accident. We were able to fix that, luckily. But with the swelling of the brain, there was some damage to nerves. Simply put, Jade is now partially blind."

I put my hand over my mouth and sucked in air, thinking that was the worse news I'd receive. The thing is, doctors follow up with "but".

"But her vision may repair over time. She didn't lose her eyesight completely, but the reason she was panicked when she woke up was because she wasn't used to not being able to have full vision; she was scared."

"Is that all?" Zayn asked, tightening his grip around my shoulders. Dr. Vincent let out a long sigh and shook his head. I prepared myself for the worst news any mother would receive.

"She's slowly losing blood internally and, quite frankly, slowly dying."

I let out a cry of despair and began to sob into Zayn's shoulder as he just stared at the doctor. TThe doctor went on. "There isn't much we can do. The brain is bleeding, a broken rib has punctured her organs and-"

"How much time?" Zayn mumbled. The doctor stopped his explanation and leaned closer to Zayn.

"Excuse me?"

"How much more time does Jade have?" Zayn asked, his voice shaky. I peeked over to Tracy and Kris, seeing both of them standing up, ready to come over.

"It's hard to tell, sir. It could be a few days, weeks. Maybe even-" He stopped, taking a deep breath. "Maybe even a few hours."

"Can we see her?" I felt Zayn's heart beat quicken under my ear due to all of the emotions we are sharing.

"Yes. I'm so sorry I had to tell you this," he said softly before straightening out his tie and walking off towards the front desk. The nurse that followed Dr. Vincent out helped me up and led Zayn and I towards Jade's room. I looked back to Tracy, seeing her eyes widen. I shook my head and faced forward.

My whole body was numb as we approached Jade's room. The nurse held the door open and sent us an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry, dear. She is such a beautiful young girl." With that, the nurse left, shutting the door behind her.

I fell into the chair beside Jade's bed. She was sleeping soundly, but you could see her dreaming. Her now half-blinded eyes were moving beneath her lids. I couldn't say anything and I didn't want to touch her. I wanted her to dream, for which that's all she has left right now. Her dreams of being a mother. Her dreams of crazy things like flying puppies or dust-bunnies following her around Tracy's house. That's all she has right now. She no longer has the opportunities that we had.

"I-I need to call the boys. I can't-" Zayn sucked in air and wiped his mouth with his hand, slowly covering it. "I can't," he muttered, running out of the room. 

I turned my attention towards Jade and felt the tears start to fall. I held her hand lightly, hoping not to wake her. She just sturred a bit, opening her eyes only the slightest. I secured the stuffed animal Tracy had brough from home, in Jade's other arm and began to speak softly.

"You had so much to live for. Barely even 2 years old, barely talking, barely living a life of a toddler. You were my angel and you are going to be one soon. I trust you'll be taken care of up there, love. Trust me?" She turned her held a little, as if to listen to me more.

"Daddy is here with me. You weren't able to see him much, and I'm sorry. But he's here now, and that's what counts, right? I'm here, too. I'm sorry I left when I did. If I hadn't left, you would have been living with me and you wouldn't have gotten into that accident." I took a deep breath and wiped my cheeks again.

"Uncle Kris is really shaken up, Jadey. Please get through this so you can kiss his cheek and tell him to not worry and that the sun shines, like you always do. You need to get through this because Aunt Tracy is going to have a baby, just like you've always wanted. You need to be that awesome older cousin for them."

I stared at Jade's still body, similar to how it was before all of this. She seems so peaceful right now. I wonder if she's in any pain. Right now, she doesn't look it. She looks so calm. 

"You'll always be my angel, Jade. Always."

I heard the door opened behind me slowly. I turned around and watched Zayn walk towards me, stuffing his phone in his back pocket.

"They're post-poning the meet and greet today. They're all really torn up, too," he mumbled and took a seat next to me.

Zayn and I sat in silence for a bit, watching Jade sleep soundly. She tossed a bit, trying her best to turn over, but her wires didn't let her. Her eyes opened for a bit and widened. She's awake. I can see her brown eyes, now.

"Jade?" I whispered. Her eyes turned towards me, but you could see how she wasn't able to see me.

"Mumma?" Her tired, sweet voice replied.

"Yes, angel. It's me and daddy." Zayn said her name sweetly and a small smile spread on her lips before it turned into a frown.

"Mumma, my head," she said quietly, trying to touch her head. She jumped at the touch of the small bandage patch that replaced the large one.

"I know it hurts, baby, but it's ok. You'll be ok. Go back to sleep." I sat up and leaned towards her, touching her cheek with my hand at first so she knew I was coming towards her. I put my lips near her bandage and kissed her lightly. "There, mumma's kiss made it better. Now, sleep."

She nodded her head and closed her large eyes. After a moment, she was sleeping again.

"Do you think she'll get through this?" I asked Zayn. When he didn't answer, I turned my attention towards him.

"I think one day she'll be better," he said honestly. I knew what he meant. I agree with him- she isn't going to make it. But the day she decides to let it go, she'll be better. There will be no more pain, no more blindness. She'll be able to see and be a normal 2 year old. 

"Do you think she will?" Zayn asked me.

I shrugged a shoulder. "We love her. Of course we're going to think she is."

"She's an angel," he whispered as he looked at her sleeping body. "She's an angel already."

I nodded my head in agreement and studied her features again, seeing nothing but Zayn and me, of course. She's so innocent, so perfect.

"She'll always be an angel," I whispered and right then, I promised her that I won't let her go through this alone.

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asdfklahfda I literally started to cry while writing Raven's little speech to Jade...brb as I grab a box of tissues and a cup of tea so I can drown in my sorrow.

tell me what you think? oh god... I'm so emotional.

I'm gonna start randomly dedicating the chapters to readers or commenters, idk. like this time, I dedicated it to Navi585 because she's a sweet heart and always comments and is aww. so yeah! wanna get dedicated? comment and vote!

5 votes, please. love youu x