thirty six

Ariana felt her steps lighter after her morning and breakfast with Negan. Though she did feel the lingering effects of the hangover, her head ached slightly, and there was a dull fuzziness in her thoughts, but the strong coffee and the love had worked wonders, and she was ready to face the day.

She stopped outside Eugene's room, her hand hovering for a moment before knocking gently. Testing to see if he had gone yet. She wasn't entirely sure how Eugene would react to her visit, but she figured he could use a friendly face.

"Come in." Came Eugene's voice from the other side of the door, a bit muffled but unmistakably his.

Ariana pushed the door open to find Eugene seated at a small table, surrounded by stacks of books, loose papers, and various odd contraptions. He looked up from a comic book he was flipping through, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Ariana." He said, standing up awkwardly. "Didn't expect to see you here."

Ariana smiled, closing the door behind her. "Thought I'd come by and see how you're settling in." She said. "Figured you could use some company."

Eugene hesitated, glancing around his cluttered room before motioning for her to sit.

"Well, I appreciate the thought." He said, his voice cautious. "I, uh, haven't had much in the way of visitors."

Ariana sat down in the chair opposite him, taking in the various books and trinkets scattered around.

"It's not so bad in here." She said, trying to lighten the mood. "You've got plenty to keep you busy."

Eugene nodded, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of the comic book. "Yes, indeed. A veritable cornucopia of intellectual pursuits to occupy my time. Although, I must admit, the solitude does tend to be...palpable."

Ariana chuckled. "Well, then it's a good thing I showed up. What are you reading?" She gestured to the comic book in his hand.

Eugene glanced at it and then back at her, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

"Oh, this?" He said, holding up the comic. "Just a little light reading. 'Invincible.' Thought I'd reacquaint myself with some old favourites."

Ariana leaned in, her curiosity piqued. "Mind if I take a look?"

Eugene handed the comic over, and Ariana flipped through the pages, admiring the vibrant artwork and action-packed panels.

"This is pretty cool." She said, looking up at him. "I used to read comics when I was younger. Forgot how much I enjoyed them."

Eugene's eyes lit up at her interest. "I've got plenty more." He said, gesturing to a small stack of comics on the floor. "Feel free to peruse at your leisure."

Ariana grinned, setting the comic down.

"I might just take you up on that." She said. "What else have you got in here? Any games?"

Eugene's expression brightened.

"As a matter of fact, I do." He said, moving to a small shelf and pulling out a worn box. "Scrabble. Found it in one of the storerooms. Thought it might come in handy for, uh, moments like this."

Ariana's eyes lit up at the sight of the familiar game. "Scrabble! I haven't played that in ages." She said, excitement creeping into her voice. "Let's do it."

Eugene nodded, setting up the game on the table between them. They quickly fell into the rhythm of the game, the tiles clicking softly as they placed them on the board. It was a simple, almost mundane activity, but it brought a sense of normalcy that was rare in the harsh reality of their world.

As they played, Ariana found herself relaxing, the weight of the Sanctuary and its politics slipping away. Eugene was surprisingly good company, awkward but genuine, and his quirky sense of humor kept her entertained.

"Triple word score." Eugene said triumphantly, placing down a word and adding up his points. "That puts me...let's see...ahead by twenty-three."

Ariana groaned, looking at the board. "How are you so good at this? You're like a human dictionary."

Eugene shrugged modestly, though he couldn't hide the hint of pride in his eyes. "Years of, uh, solitary study. I've always found comfort in words. They're like...well, they're like a puzzle. Pieces to be put together."

Ariana smiled, her fingers tracing the edge of a tile. "I get that. Sometimes it feels like everything's a puzzle. Trying to figure out what people want, what they're thinking. Trying to make sense of this whole mess of a world."

Eugene nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Yes. The world's a puzzle with no clear solution. But sometimes, even if just for a moment, we can find a corner piece, something that makes a bit of sense."

"Yeah." She agreed. "Like this. Just...playing a game, talking. It feels...normal."

As the game continued, the clatter of Scrabble tiles and the occasional rustle of a comic book created a calm, almost domestic atmosphere in Eugene's room.

Eugene, however, was studying her with a contemplative expression, his brow furrowed slightly. He placed another word on the board and leaned back in his chair, eyes flickering up to meet hers. After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat awkwardly, as if bracing himself for something.

"Ariana." He began, his voice hesitant. "I don't mean to, uh, pry into your personal affairs, but I find myself...perplexed by your current, um, affiliation with Negan."

Ariana's hand froze over her tiles, a small frown tugging at her lips. She looked up, meeting Eugene's curious gaze.

"My affiliation?" She repeated, her tone cautious. "What do you mean?"

Eugene shifted uncomfortably in his seat, clearly unsure how to phrase his thoughts. "Well, it's just... I've observed, from a distance mind you, that your relationship with Negan is...well, it's rather unorthodox, if I may say so. I can't help but wonder what, uh, led you to such an arrangement."

Ariana sighed softly, setting down her tiles and leaning back in her chair.

"It's...complicated." She said, choosing her words carefully. "Negan... he's not what he seems to everyone else. There's more to him than the violence, the cruelty. I've seen a different side of him, a side that cares, that protects. He... he can be kind."

Eugene's eyebrows shot up at her words, his skepticism evident.

"Kind?" He echoed, disbelief colouring his voice. "Negan's brand of kindness typically involves a baseball bat and a demonstration of his so-called authority. Forgive me, but I fail to see how that constitutes benevolence."

Ariana crossed her arms, her expression softening into something more introspective. "I'm not saying he's a saint, Eugene. He's done terrible things, things I don't agree with. But he's also taken care of me. He's given me a place here, protection. It's more than I had before. And anyway, we've all done things we're not proud of to survive."

Eugene nodded slowly, still looking unconvinced but willing to listen. "And do you... care for him?" He asked, his tone gentle but probing. "I mean, truly care for him, or is this some form of, uh, survival tactic?"

Ariana hesitated, biting her lip as she considered her answer. "I do." She admitted finally, her voice soft. "Maybe it started that way, out of necessity. But now... there are moments when I see a different man. Someone who could be more than just a tyrant. And... I care about that side of him."

Eugene was silent for a long moment, his eyes searching her face. "It's not my place to judge, Ariana. I understand the need to, uh, adapt to one's circumstances. But... Negan is dangerous. I just hope you're not, um, blinded by what you think you see in him. Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"

Ariana looked down, her fingers playing with a Scrabble tile absently. "I'm not blind and I don't have Stockholm Syndrome, Eugene. I know who Negan is. But I also know that there's more to him. Maybe I'm naive, but I want to believe that even someone like him can change. That there's still hope for something... better."

Eugene nodded, though his expression remained thoughtful. "Hope is... a powerful thing. But so is reality. Just... be careful, Ariana. I'd hate to see you get hurt."

Ariana managed a small smile, touched by his concern. "I will. And thank you, Eugene. For caring."

He gave a short nod, his usual awkwardness returning as he shifted his focus back to the game.

"Well then." He said, clearing his throat. "Your move."

Ariana picked up her tiles, her thoughts lingering on their conversation. She knew Eugene was right to worry. Loving someone like Negan was a risk, one that could easily backfire. But as she looked at the Scrabble board, she couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, it was a risk worth taking.