thirty seven

Ariana stood just outside the Sanctuary's meeting room, her hand hovering over the doorknob. The low rumble of Negan's voice carried through the thick wood, his deep, commanding tone making her stomach twist with anticipation.

She needed to see him. After her confusing talk with Eugene, all she wanted was the comfort of Negan's presence, the warmth of his smile, the way his eyes softened when he looked at her. She had spent the day trying to distract herself, but she couldn't stop thinking about him.

But as she reached for the door, something stopped her. His voice, sharp and cold, cut through the air like a knife.

"She's a distraction, nothing more." Negan said, his voice laced with frustration. "I can't have her running around thinking she belongs here."

Ariana's breath hitched, her heart thudding painfully in her chest. She pressed herself against the wall, listening harder. The sudden sting of humiliation crept up her spine, but she couldn't tear herself away.

"You sure about that, boss?" Simon's voice came next, dripping with smug amusement. "Seems like you've got her all wrapped up in your little game."

Negan snorted, the sound humorless. "Oh, she thinks she's special, Simon. I let her believe that. Keeps her loyal, keeps her in line. But let's not kid ourselves, she's here because it's convenient. She ain't one of us. Not really."

Ariana's heart shattered. The words hung in the air like poison, seeping into her bones. She had known Negan could be cruel, but hearing it like this, when she wasn't supposed to be listening... it made it so much worse.

"She's soft." Negan continued. "Thinks she can change me, like I'm some fucking puppy she can train. But when push comes to shove, she'll break. They always do. She'll be valuable when the time comes."

The blood rushed in her ears, drowning out the rest of the conversation. Her body felt heavy, like the weight of his words had knocked the breath from her lungs.

She had been wrong. All of it, everything she thought they had shared, it was nothing more than a manipulation. He had lied, made her believe she was different, special. But in front of his men, she was nothing but a tool to be used.

Ariana's chest tightened painfully, her hands trembling as she gripped the cold, metal handle of the door. She wanted to burst in, confront him, demand an explanation. But something held her back... the raw, humiliating realisation that if she did, it would only confirm everything he had just said.

She strained to hear more, even though every word felt like a fresh wound being carved into her skin.

"Valuable, huh?" Simon's voice was slick with amusement. "I bet she's been valuable in your quarters. Must be nice having someone so eager to please."

Negan let out a low, throaty chuckle, the sound dark and dismissive. "Eager? Yeah, she's practically falling over herself to be what I need. Hell, she'll believe anything I say if I give her that look, you know? Bat my eyelashes, make her think she's the only one. Makes her real easy to manage. But when it comes down to it? She's a liability. She's still got that softness in her."

Ariana's throat tightened, her breath catching as tears blurred her vision. The warmth she had always felt from him, the kindness she thought was just for her, had been nothing more than an act. A trick to keep her obedient.

"She's not like us." Negan went on, his voice growing colder. "She still holds on to that old-world crap. Love, loyalty, thinking people can be good. It's fucking pathetic. She's not built for this world. Rick and his people, they broke her, and now she thinks she can find something here. But that ain't happening."

There was a pause, and Ariana could almost picture the look on his face, the cruel smile that would be tugging at his lips. She clenched her fists, nails digging into her palms as she fought the wave of emotion crashing through her.

"She'll crack, eventually," Negan added, almost casually. "They always do. They come here thinking they can play the game, thinking they can survive. But when things get tough, when they see what it really takes to stay alive, they break. And when she does, I won't be there to catch her."

Simon snickered, the sound grating in her ears. "And what about when she does break? You just gonna toss her aside like the others?"

Negan's answer was immediate, brutal in its simplicity. "That's the plan."

Ariana felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She doubled over slightly, gripping her side as if she could somehow hold the pain in, stop it from overwhelming her. Everything he had said, everything he had done, it had all been a lie.

She heard another voice, this time Dwight's, low and hesitant. "She cares about you, though. You think you can keep playing her like that?"

Negan let out a dry laugh. "Cares? Yeah, she cares because I let her. I make her feel like she's important, like she's got a place here. But don't think for a second I'm gonna let that cloud my judgment. She's useful for now, but I don't need her clinging to me like some lovesick puppy. When the time comes, I'll drop her without a second thought. I'm not here to save her, Dwight. She's just... another piece on the board. Besides.." Negan continued, his voice low and conspiratorial now. "If keeping her around a little longer keeps her useful, why not? Let her think she's got a shot, let her believe whatever fairy tale she's telling herself. But don't forget, she's still just another pawn. And when it's time to sacrifice her, I won't blink."

The finality in his tone was like a death sentence. Ariana stood frozen, the walls around her closing in as the weight of his words crushed her spirit. She had believed in him, had wanted to see the good in him, but now she realized how foolish she had been.

Negan wasn't her saviour, her protector. He was her destroyer. And she had let him.

Turning away from the door, she moved quietly down the hallway, her legs shaking beneath her. Each step felt heavier than the last, her heart shattered into a million jagged pieces. Every breath she took was a reminder of the lie she had been living.

Negan's voice echoed in her mind, cruel and indifferent: "When it's time to sacrifice her, I won't blink."

Tears blurred her vision, and with every step, she felt herself slip further away from the version of her that had once believed in hope.

Ariana moved numbly through the hallways, each step feeling like she was walking through thick mud.

She reached her room, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst. The door clicked shut behind her, sealing her in with the sickening reality of what she'd just overheard. Negan had played her, used her affection, her trust, to keep her obedient, to keep her in line.

He had never cared about her, not the way she thought he did.

Her chest tightened with a mix of anger and humiliation. She had let herself fall for his charm, for the way he had softened just enough to make her believe she was special. All those quiet moments together, the way he looked at her like she mattered... it had all been a lie.

Without thinking, Ariana crossed the room and yanked open her wardrobe. Her hand shot out, grabbing a duffel bag from the shelf. The anger bubbling inside her gave her strength, her movements quick and decisive as she started throwing clothes inside. She wasn't going to stay here a second longer. Not after what she had heard.

She pulled a jacket from the back of the closet, her hands shaking as she folded it messily and shoved it into the bag. Her mind raced, trying to make sense of everything. She thought she had been different, that she had found some connection with him. But to Negan, she was nothing.

Disposable.

Her fingers tightened around the zipper of the bag, teeth gritting as the tears she had been holding back finally spilled over. She swiped angrily at her face, not wanting to cry, not wanting to feel this broken. She wasn't going to give him that power. Not anymore.

The realization hit her hard, she didn't belong here. She never had. She had left Alexandria behind, thinking this place, Negan, could give her something she was missing. But it was all a façade, a cruel game she hadn't even known she was playing.

She grabbed her boots from the floor, shoving them into the bag with a force that matched her rage. She felt trapped in her own skin, desperate to get out, to escape before Negan twisted the knife any deeper.

With a final shove, she zipped up the duffel and slung it over her shoulder. She paused, her eyes scanning the room. The bed where she had slept beside him, the small trinkets she had collected to make this space feel like home. None of it mattered now. It was all tainted.

Ariana clenched her jaw, swallowing the lump of emotion that had settled in her throat. She wouldn't let herself fall apart. Not yet. Not until she was gone from here, from him.

She moved toward the door, her fingers hovering over the handle for a moment. Part of her wanted to turn back, to confront him, to make him see the pain he had caused. But she knew it would be pointless. Negan had shown her exactly who he was in that meeting room.

Without another glance back, she pulled the door open and stepped out into the hallway. Her heart ached, but her mind was clear. She was leaving this place, leaving Negan behind.

He could play his games with someone else. She was done being a pawn.