38

The next day rolled around and I was in my room. Damon and I didn't do anything the night before but kiss. He needed time to heal and he was still upset about Stefan so I didn't expect him to do anything.

I woke up and I saw a set of icy blue eyes looking at me. "Good morning sleepy head." Damon whispered as I looked at him.

"That's creepy." I wiped my eye and and yawned.

"I was going for sexy." He added making a face at me.

I chuckled lightly. "Maybe a different approach next time then showing up in front of my face as soon as I wake up." I replied as I sat up and felt my hair. "I look like a mess don't I?" I asked as I stood up out of bed and went towards the bathroom. My stomach growled loudly.

"A hot mess." He replied walking over. "I figured you'd be hungry." He stated as he held a blood bag and gave it to me.

I opened it up and drank it, but I wanted it differently. I wanted it warm. Was that weird to want?

I took it out of my mouth and looked at it. "What's wrong?" He asked as I looked at the bag.

"I want it warm." I looked to him. "Like hot tea." I said as I drank some more.

"You mean like straight out of a person?" He asked curiously as I thought about it.

"Oh." I looked up at him concerned before putting the straw back in my mouth.

"Its natural now for you to want to go after humans. You should be able to drink without killing someone." He explained.

"Should be?" I asked after swallowing some more blood.

"It's possible that you might not know when to stop. It's called being a ripper." He stated as I thought for a second.

"Like Stefan?" I asked as I finished the blood bag and went for my hairbrush.

"Yeah." He nodded. "He goes to eat, thinks everything is fine, and then all the sudden he blacks out and rips off a head."

"I don't want to hurt the people I love." I shook my head. "Does that get easier?"

"No." He shook his head as I put the brush down. "The night I made you forget, I almost bit you. When your emotions are extremely heightened your true form shows." He explained as I nodded. He showed me it that one night in the backyard of the Lockwood Mansion when he said I should be afraid but I wasn't. "My feelings were so heightened that it came out."

"So it'll come in what case scenarios?" I asked curiously.

"If you're really hungry but that's a given, when you are really angry, and sometimes when you're really sad or happy." He explained as I nodded.

"What kept you from hurting me?" I asked already knowing but wanting to hear it again.

"You know." He smiled lightly to me as I brushed my hair the curls bouncing back up as I brushed through them.

"No I don't." I replied almost high pitched, wanting him to tell me.

"How much I wanted you safe. I have to fight it and so will you. You'll have to fight your urge to kill." He replied.

"I'll always want to kill?" I asked worried.

"Always." He nodded. "It's a constant fight with humanity. You get used to it though, it takes a little while when you start off."

"I need to learn how to control it before I see my dad, Elena, and Jeremy again." I  looked at myself in the mirror unsure if I liked what I was looking at.

"Hey." He sang as he put his hand on my cheek and it made me tingle. I faced him. "You'll learn to figure it out. I won't let you do something you'll regret." I nodded as I put my hand over his.

"What about touch?" I asked. "Is it just me or is that different too?" I closed my eyes with his hand still on my cheek.

"All your senses are heightened. Touch being one of them." He said as I smiled lightly as his hand went from my cheek to my chin. "Everything you feel, you feel more intensely." He then put one on either side of my waists. "It goes underneath your skin and into your bones." I bit my bottom lip and opened my eyes seeing a mischievous smirk on his face as he pulled my hips closer to him his hand touching the bare skin that crept underneath my t-shirt.

I put my hand on his chest and pushed him towards my bed. I meant to go slow but we were there in a flash. I let out a soft chuckle as I sat on top of Damon's chest.

"All the senses right?" I asked looking at him. "Seeing,-" I looked at him. "-Hearing,-" I listened to the sound of his heart beat which sounded a little fast. "-Smelling,-" I closed my eyes and smelt the blood from the bag in the bathroom. "-Touch,-." I combed my finger through the side of his hair. "-and Taste." I whispered finally as I bent down and kissed him gently. I could feel his smile against my lips. I lifted up and smiled back.

"How about we go on a little road trip." He asked as he pushed my hair behind my ear. "Teach you how to control yourself around humans. Learn how to be a vampire." He said with a suggestive eyebrow raise.

"Is it a good time?" I asked as he sat up and I lightly wrapped my legs around his waist and put my arms lightly on his shoulders.

"Your sister and your dad need you. You need to be able to be around them without hurting them. It's a great time." He replied as I looked down.

"What if I kill someone? What if I'm a ripper?" I asked sadly.

"If anything bad happens I'll be right there to help you." He said as he looked to me.

"Promise?" I asked looking at his eyes.

"I promise." He nodded. I hugged him tightly and rested my lips on his neck smelling him unintentionally. His scent made me feel warm.

I packed a bag and told my dad what I was up to. He told me that he hoped I got better soon. I'm sure he was conflicted. His daughter becoming the thing she hunted. I told him I didn't want to hurt him and that when I came back everything would go back to normal but we both knew that wasn't true.

"Where to?" I asked. My hair blew through the wind as I sat in my seat.

"North Carolina." He replied normally. I could still hear him perfectly through the wind.

I looked to him confused. "What's there?" I asked curiously.

"All sorts of things." He replied generically and I thought for a moment.

"We aren't just going for me are we?" I asked realizing what was going on. He wanted to look for Stefan. He looked somewhat disappointed. I put my hand on his. "It's okay. I don't mind. I want to find him too."

He looked at me and nodded. I could tell there was still something on his mind. "What's wrong?" I asked looking at him confused.

"I-" he sighed. "I just can't help but think that he'd be mad at me." He replied gripping the steering wheel. "Because he told me that he didn't want me with you and that I-"

"You haven't and you won't." I replied before he could finish. He wouldn't hurt me. "This is our decision. If anything I'm the one to be worried about."

He stayed quiet. "But you won't be." He replied knowing it was true. "I promised I'd help."

"And you are helping. Sounds like the very opposite of hurting don't you think?" I asked as I traced my finger on the side of his arm. Since I found out touch was intensified I couldn't keep my hands off of him. "And since when do you listen to Stefan?"

He looked at me and smiled. "Thank you." He whispered as I smiled lightly to him.

We got to a warehouse and went inside to look for a trace of vampires in the area. We didn't find anything. Damon expected to be disappointed.

"The first place. It'd be too easy if we found him already." I said as we sat in the car.

"Yeah. Now let's teach you how to feed." He smirked as we drove to a bar. I could tell he wanted his mind off of his brother.

"How am I gonna get in?" I asked as we waited in line.

"There's this little trick I heard about. It's called compulsion." He spoke sarcastically as I nudged him lightly and he let out a chuckle. "Just look him in the eyes and tell him to give you what you want." Damon said as we got closer to the line.

"IDs please." He urged looking at me knowing full well I didn't look 21. He was big and burly but with my new found strength I knew I could take him. I probably could've taken him before too.

"About that-" I said as I looked into his eyes. "-you don't need one. You'll let us in." I said to him.

"Come on in." He retorted as I smirked and looked at Damon. He put his hand on my back and led me inside.

I looked around and there were so many people. There was music bouncing from every wall, but all I could hear was blood pumping. "Damon." I whispered as my breath hitched in my throat. I could feel my eyes turning and my fangs grow in. I wanted to attack them, all of them. I wanted each of them to be drained from life.

"Emmie look at me." He insisted as I looked at him. I felt myself against a wall. "Breathe." He nodded as he moved one of his hands from my shoulder to my cheek. "Don't think about them." He added nodding to me as he rubbed under my eyes lightly.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I thought about what I was doing this for, why I was fighting. I opened them and I felt them go away.

"Good. You did good." He smiled lightly to me as I nodded. "Let's dance." He said as he grabbed my hand and I smiled.

We went to the middle and we had fun. "Now this is the fun part." He started as I looked at him confused. "Choose someone." He said as I looked around. I saw a muscular guy dancing around, his beer going all over the people around him as he jumped.

"That one." I pointed and looked at him.

"Most people go for the small frail looking people first." He explained as I looked to him.

"Who says I'm most people?" I asked putting my hand on his chest. "What next?" I asked looking back at the guy.

I wanted to kill him so badly. No morals were added to how much I wanted to tear his neck open.

"Go to him and compel him to be calm. Since it's your first time take him to the back. Start drinking and stop when he starts to get slightly limp." He instructed as I nodded.

I walked over to the guy and looked at him. He immediately grabbed my waist thinking I wanted to dance. "Follow me and don't say a word." I compelled him as I grabbed his hand and walked to the back. I went into the dark hallway and looked at him.

I felt my fangs come out and I put myself on his neck. I started sucking and the blood warming my throat felt euphoric. I kept going gripping tightly onto his arm probably cutting into his skin.

"All right times up." Damon voiced from behind me. "This is when you convince yourself to stop." He said as I let go, blood falling down my chin.

"I don't want to." I said as I looked at the guys neck. "Can't I have more?" I asked as I wiped it with my fingers and licked it.

"Can you control it?" He asked as I let out a 'mmhmm' and went back in. I kept going and I felt him going limp. "Okay. Now you have to stop." Damon instructed from behind me. I just wanted one more sip. "Emma-" he started as I pulled away.

"He's fine." I said breathily looking at the guy who was clearly almost passed out.

"Now compel him to forget what happened and to clean himself up it give him some of your blood." He said from behind me.

I looked at the guys eyes. "Go to the bathroom and wash off. Forget you saw me." I said as he walked away.

I turned to Damon and smiled. "I did it."

"Yeah." He nodded as he looked at me. "And you stopped yourself which means you aren't a ripper, but you don't know how to stay clean yet." He said as he wiped my chin.

"I didn't say I'd be perfect." I looked down licking the leftover blood off my lips.

"But you are." He replied as I looked up to him. "You are perfect." He replied licking the blood off of his fingers.

No one had ever called me perfect. I'd been such a mess my whole life. I was standing here with blood all over my face and he still thought I was perfect. I couldn't help but think that me becoming a vampire made me better.

I jammed my lips against his. "How about we party until its morning?" I asked looking into his eyes.

"I'd love that." He replied happily as we both headed back to the club. We drank people together and the farther we went, the easier it was for me to stay clean.

At the end of the night I was filled. We had managed to go through at least half of the club without causing problems. We walked out and went to a nearby motel and rented a room.

"I'm proud of myself." I stated as I wiped my face off looking in the mirror.

"You are by far the most controlled vampire I've met. How do you do it?" He asked curiously.

"It's easy. I think of how my dad would want it." I replied looking to him. "And if that's not enough I think of how it would affect Elena and Jeremy."

"So your family is your anchor." He stated as I nodded.

"Thank you for helping me do all this." I looked at him. "I couldn't have asked for a better teacher."

"I couldn't have asked for a better student." He replied walking over to me.

"I love you." I smiled. It was the first time I got to say it without impending doom on its way and something about that changed his face. He looked at my eyes as if he'd been wanting me to say that for a while. He took no time to push me against a wall and kiss me passionately.

A few broken lamps and picture frames later I laid naked on his bare chest. "Do you think I'm gonna change?" I asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he swirled his finger on my back.

"You said my emotions are heightened. Does that mean my personality changes?" I asked as I looked up to him.

"You'll still be you, just intensified. I can tell you now that you're even more outgoing then before." He said as I chuckled lightly.

"That's a given." I looked to him as he nodded. "I just don't know how a girl with shit emotions could possibly be okay when said emotions are heightened."

"You're either an emotional wreck or you seem fine." He replied already knowing. I looked at him confused. "I was worried that you'd have trouble with that so I've kept an eye on it. At first when you were human I thought you were really good at hiding what you felt, but in reality you weren't even sure how you felt."

"Like I said, shit emotions." I replied with a sigh. "At least I know when I'm happy." I smiled to him but it faded.

"You'll figure it out." He responded putting his arms around me. I hoped he was right. I didn't want to be constantly unsure of what I felt. It sucked enough as a human, but as a vampire... it would be so much. I trusted Damon to help me through it, but even this would be hard to handle.