36

He opened the freezer and I saw blood bags. My mouth began to salivate. "Here. As soon as you drink this you'll complete the transition." He nodded looking at me.

"I'm surprised. You seem calm." I looked to him confused. "I'd expect you to be more upset."

"I should be but I'm selfish. I don't want to lose you, even if it means you're a vampire." He explained as I looked to the blood bag. Sitting here waiting was making me feel worse. I opened the blood bag and I took a sip, but I needed more. It tasted so good. It was like water in a drought. I needed it. I drank the whole thing and when I finished it I took a breath.

I started feeling a sharp pain in my gums. "Ah!" I groaned as I put my fingers over them. I felt fangs protruding from my mouth. I held my face in pain, dropping the empty blood bag on the floor.

"Hey. You're okay." Damon assured as he held my hand. "You're okay." He reassured again as I winced from my mouth. They went back in and I sighed relieved. He pushed back my hair from the side of my face and he wiped the blood that had gotten on my lips.

"Thank you." I thanked looking up to him.

"We should probably go get ready for the funerals." He suggested as he let go. "And get Bonnie to make you a ring. You won't be able to go without one." I looked down sadly as we walked out. I forgot about the bad things for a second there. "Do you think you can handle it?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I hope so."

"You can stick with me. I'll make sure you don't hurt anyone." He nodded to me.

I felt my eyes tear up. "Ugh. I'm crying again." I laughed lightly as we got to the front door.

"What's wrong?" He asked worried.

"I don't know I feel like everything I've ever felt is hitting me at once." I shook my head.

"Your emotions are heightened." He replied as he wiped the tears that fell down my cheek. "If you need someone to vent to, I'm here."

"I know." I nodded as he started walking.

"I'm gonna go get ready. Need anything?" He asked looking to me as I shook my head. I watched him walk away with a small smile. I knew it wasn't the time to be happy, but my happiness was through the roof. Being with him would make me happy, but I wasn't sure if he'd accept it with everything that he told me about Stefan saying.

After about an hour Bonnie brought me a ring and dad brought me some funeral clothes. He brought a simple black dress with sleeves and some black flats. The ring Bonnie gave me wasn't the cutest thing ever but I needed it so I didn't complain.

Damon and Stefan left first to go get the stuff ready and I went with dad to Elena's house.

I went inside and I headed upstairs. I saw Jeremy walking in the hallway. "How are you?" I asked looking to him. There was no way I felt any worse then he did.

"I-" He started before sighing. "I don't know." He replied.

I hugged him lightly and as soon as I did I felt my eyes changing and my fangs wanting to grow. I wanted to bite him. I wanted him to bleed but I wanted not to just enough to force it away. I let go and backed about five feet away from him.

"I- I forgot about-" he shook his head lightly.

"How I died. Yeah." I nodded. "It'll be okay." I replied trying to convince myself more.

"Are you sure?" He asked as I swallowed.

"No but I hope so." I answered as I pushed a stray hair from my face. "I should go check on Elena."

I started to walk past Jeremy and I paused looking up to him. "I'm sorry." I apologized sadly.

"It'll be okay." He replied in the same way I did. I smiled lightly to him and nodded. It was something weird but Jeremy and I understood each other in a way. Like we really had grown up together. "Hey uh John left this for you. I didn't get a chance to give it to you before." He said as he pulled a paper out of his tux. I looked at it and smiled lightly before going into Elena's room.

I went into Elena's room and saw her in the corner reading a note John gave her. I waited for her to notice me. "Hey." She said looking to me. "Is it time to go?" She asked as she put the paper down.

"No. Just wanted to come see you. How are you feeling?" I asked curiously. She did also just die recently.

"Alive I guess." She replied as I nodded looking down. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Don't apologize." I interrupted shaking my head.

"Are you- are you okay?" She asked standing up coming over to me.

"Yeah." I replied backing up. "For the most part. I'm just not good with the people part yet." I said as she stopped walking over.

She nodded. "I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to die."

"I expected to. It's not your fault." I shook my head.

"I can't help but think it is." She replied looking down.

"Elena I was fully aware of the possibilities. I knew it would happen. The only reason I drank vampire blood was because I- I couldn't leave you or my dad-" I paused not really finishing my sentence.

"Or Damon?" She asked looking to me. I looked up surprised. "I see it. The way you two act around each other." She smiled lightly. "He does everything to try and keep you happy, even force feeding me blood."

"I didn't know he was going to do that. You don't... blame me do you?" I asked worried as I played with my ring.

"No of course not." She shook her head. "I definitely blame him. I do think that you make him better though." She nodded lightly. I looked at her confused. I thought she'd think I made him worse. "We should get going." She suggested looking to me as I nodded. We got in the car and headed to the Gilbert graves.

We all stood quietly as Elena put roses over all the graves. Dad put a Rose on Jenna's grave and I let out a tear. I wiped it off quickly and when he walked back over I hugged him. I felt my eyes change again. I looked at Caroline and she looked at me concerned.

I fought the urge again. I backed away worried. I covered my eyes and turned around. "Emma." Caroline said as she came over to me. "Hey it's okay. Look at me." She spoke as I uncovered my eyes and they were still different.

I hated it. It made me feel weak and to top it off I was crying. I couldn't control when it happened. The level of weakness I felt made me feel like I was nothing which made me cry more. I felt depressed.

"Breathe." She started as she held either one of my hands. "It's ok." She insisted as I turned to look for Damon. He told me he'd help me. I looked and saw him walk away. I whimpered lightly and looked back to Caroline. "Come on." She said nodding lightly to me.

She held my hand and we walked away. The farther we got I finally broke down. I couldn't in front of dad. I knew he'd feel worse if he knew I was struggling. I started sobbing and she looked at me.

"What are you feeling?" Caroline asked looking at me.

"I mean what do you think? I can't even hug my dad without wanting to eat him." I cried looking at her sadly.

"Your emotions are heightened. You feel-"

"I know. I feel emotions more intensely. I just wish it was only the good ones." I shook my head as I cried.

"We all do. How about I tell you something to make you feel better?" She said as I sniffed.

"What could make me feel better?" I asked worried.

"I don't know, um, you got a ring so you can walk in daylight." She said as she looked at it. "And it's not ugly." She added and I smiled. "Yeah and Elena is alive. That's what you wanted right?" I nodded to her. "And Tyler's back in town so-"

"He's back in town?" I asked surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. He came back to check on his mom." Caroline replied. "He didn't want to be here long so that's probably why he didn't tell you. I think he's staying though."

"He's back." I smiled lightly as I took a deep breath. "That's good." I nodded wiping my eyes.

"That worked huh?" Caroline smiled lightly.

"Yeah well that means he's alive. My best friend is alive." I smiled back. "I should go find him. Tell him what happened." I nodded lightly looking away.

"Emma." Caroline said as she got in front of me. "Maybe it's not the best time right now." She said looking at me slightly unsure.

I looked down. "Yeah." I shook my head. "I'm just gonna go head to the boarding house." I nodded to her.

"Want me to go with you?" She asked looking to me.

"No stay here with Elena. She needs you." I replied as Caroline looked to me worried but she nodded anyway.

In reality I just wanted more blood. I started walking when I got an idea. I was a vampire which meant I had super abilities. One being running really fast. I started running and all the sudden I was going super fast. I whizzed by trees and felt the wind in my face. It made me feel free.

I got to the front of the house and took a deep breath. I wasn't even out of breath. I went inside and went straight to the basement. I could smell the blood from the front door. I guess super smell was another thing.

I got to the freezer and took a blood bag. I looked at it and gulped it all down. I grabbed another and did the same. I went for another one and I stopped myself. How much was too much? When did I need to stop?

"Hey." I heard as I turned around to see Stefan. "You okay?" He asked as I looked at him.

"How much?" I asked looking to him as he looked at me confused. "How much am I supposed to have before it's too much?" I added. "I want more."

"You will always want more." He replied.

"Always?" I asked almost in a whimper.

"That's part of it. The cravings never stop. Of course alcohol does pause the sensation but not for long." He nodded lightly. I closed the lid of the freezer and looked at the wall. "Emma don't-" he started but it was already to late. I punched it. It left a dent in the wall. I winced waiting for the pain but I looked at it and it was healing. I stretched my fingers. "You have super strength now. You can't really punch walls without them breaking." He explained as he got between me and the wall.

"Damon said he'd help me figure all of this out." I sighed lightly looking down. "He's not really doing a good job."

"He's having a hard time right now but you have me. And Caroline." He added as I nodded.

"Thank you. Sorry about your wall." I said looking to him.

"You should just head to bed for now. Lay low." He nodded to me. "As soon as me or Caroline get the chance we'll help you learn to control it."

I nodded. I was grateful but I wanted Damon to help. I wanted to learn through him, I trusted him the most. It was like I needed him to help me. I went upstairs and sat in the bed.

I finally got the chance to look at the note from John.

Dear Emma,

I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to save you. When I found out it was too late and for that I apologize. I was scared of what could happen if I ever saw you so I refrained from it. I was weak and frightened. I don't know how I managed to be a part of the making of someone as strong and beautiful as you. I'm sorry for disappointing you. Because of my prejudices, you suffered and I regret that I never will get the chance to make things right. If there is one thing I could say that I want you to do its to protect your family. Elena, Alaric, Jeremy, and whoever else. They will need someone as strong and brave as you are.

With Love,John