TAKE YOUR TIME

ZHAN POV

I was hard at work when someone familiarknocked on my office door; Wei smiled walking inside.

"Hey Mr. Beautiful." He said.

I returned his smile standing up to hug him"Hey Wei, what brings you here?" I asked; he and I have been in and out of touch for a while now.

"I've come to free you off the clutches ofwork." He said with a grin

"Let me take you to lunch." He added.

I looked at my desk "I don't know, I reallyhave to get this done." I said

He gave me a knowing look

"Come on, that's what you said the last time." He said

"I'm not taking no for an answer you know. Nor am I moving." He added sitting on the chair by my desk. I shook my head

"Fine." I said exasperatedly and he smiledfollowing me out.He took me to the same restaurant he always did whenever we hang out. They served really good food but I wondered what meaning it held to him.

"What's with you and this restaurant?" Iasked after the meal, he leaned back

"Remember that summer camp we went to in 6th grade?" he asked and I nodded.

"Well the food they serve here resembles the menu they had over there." He said,

"Oh yeah." I said remembering,

"It was a really good menu." I added and he nodded smiling.

He scrutinized me for a while then to my surprise he reached out for my hand across the table.

I immediately withdrew it almostinstinctually, he sighed

"Zhan I have to tell you something." Hesaid.

"You didn't kill anyone did you?" I teasedhoping to lighten the tension; it unnerved me.

He didn't smile

"I'm in love with you Zhan." He saidsolemnly, I stared at him shocked then I dropped my eyes

"Wei..." I said and he stopped me.

"No, just here me out." He said quickly then he took a deep breath

"You're hurting and it breaks my heartbecause someone like you deserves to be happy. I can make you happy Zhan, I know I can if you let me."

I shook my head, cursing myself for hurting him

"I can't, I don't feel that way for you Wei." I said.

I could never feel that way for anyone ever again, I realized that fact andaccepted it.

"And part of that is because you're stillgrieving for him, I understand that. But in time you'll learn to love me too." He persisted and I flinched. I never had to learn to love Yibo; I just did, quickly and blindly.

"That's unfair you know. I said, and hefrowned

"To whom?" he asked

"To you, to the both of us." I said, shakingmy head sadly

"I have nothing left to give Wei. It would be unfair of me to enter into a relationship with you only offering a piece of myself. You deserve better than that." I said.

He shook his head stubbornly

"No..."

"Yes you do." I cut him off

"You deserve to be with someone who will love you with all of their heart." I saidfervently and he hung his head.

"What about your heart?" he asked and Ipaused swallowing the lump in my throat.

"It belongs to him, weather he is here ornot." I said and he looked up

"I loved Yibo with every fiber of my being. I can never love another the way I loved him...the way I still love him." I added.

"You wouldn't have to stop, you just haveto..." he reached for my hand and I drew it back again. He exhaled in a rush

"He would want you to move on you know, to find love again."

He added quietly.

My gaze shifted to the window

"Yeah he would." I said

"But I'm not willing to settle for anything less than what he and I shared. You shouldn't either." I added lookingat him again

"The real love of your life is out there somewhere, I'll just be holding you back from finding them." I said.

He crossed his arms on the table with adefeated look on his face

"So you're just going to spent the restof your life alone?" he asked and I flinched.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly and I shook myhead at him

"Has spending the rest of my life alonecrossed my mind? More than I bother to keep count." I said,

"Does it change anything? Not even the slightest bit." I added.

He looked at me for a while then he nodded in quiet understanding andsadness.

I checked my watch "I have to go pick up my kids from school." I said standing up, he stood up too

"I'm leaving." He said.

"I'm transferring back to Shanghai, I justwanted to see if there was a reason I should stay."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be that reason." I saidthen I hugged him

"All the best, go find your happiness...for the both of us." I added and he nodded and smiled.

"You're going to be alright." He said and Ireturned his smile

"I think so too." I said, I wasn't going tospend the rest of my life alone; I was part of a big and wonderful family.

I said goodbye to him and walked out of the restaurant.A small soft voice brought me out of myslumber, my eyes slowly opened to find Fan Xing at the foot of the bed. I immediately sat up

"Hey honey, come here." I said and heclimbed onto the bed and sat beside me

"I can't sleep." He said and I stroke hishair. He nodded,

"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked and he shook his head"I want to stay with you Mommy." He said and I slightly smiled.

I checked my clock and it was nearing midnight, he probably didn't want to go back to sleep. I decided to humorhim since it wasn't a school night.

"You want to do something fun?" I asked and he smiled nodding excitedly. He fetched his favorite board game and we played it. I also let him play with my hair, which I quickly regret once he was done. He yawned looking sleepy

"You want to sleep in your room?" I asked and he nodded, Fan Xing loved his bedroom. He's the one who choose the theme color himself.

"Alright, I'll fetch you a glass of waterokay?" I said after he told me he was thirsty. He walked out heading to his room and I went down the stairs untangling the mess he made with my hair, I raked my fingers through it smiling.

The kitchen was half lit when I went to the sink pouring water into theglass. I closed the tap,

"Zhan."

With an audible gasp, the glass in my handfell to the floor. The sound of the glass shattering echoed around the silent room.

That voice, I couldn't have possibly imagined it, not so clearly. That voice, deep and raspy soft, I knew that voiceas I knew the beat of my own heart. Yibo.Was that it? Has grief finally pushed me over the edge? Was I finally crazy now? My body refused to turn around; it was frozen.

I slowly turned around only to jerk back and grip the counter at the sight of him a few feet away from me.

Yibo stood in our kitchen, watching me with apprehension, wonder and pain in his eyes. He wore a grey zip hoodie and jeans, with his hands in his pockets. He was exactly like I remembered him, devastatingly handsome and muscular; every single thing remained unchanged. My hand went to my mouth to muffle my gasp or was it a scream because I was hallucinating my dead husband. My heart rate spiked up and blood rushed to my ears.

He moved towards me and I whimpered,

"Stop" I whispered and he did.

Just then Fan Xing came down the stairs

"Mommy?" More of a reflex than anything my head snapped to the side, and I saw him stop dead looking at Yibo.

"Daddy?" he asked and my gaze went back to where he was still standing. He was looking back at Fan Xing, he crouched down and he ran into his arms crying.

"Daddy? Is that you?" he asked sobbing onhis shoulder and he held him tight

"Yes, buddy it's me." he said looking upat me.

I watched the whole scene incredulously then it hit me. Fan Xing saw him too; we both couldn't possibly be hallucinating, could we?

That's impossible I thought; people did not just rise from the dead no matter how badly you want them to. He comforted Fan Xing keeping his eyes on me.

Those intensely beautiful eyes that always made me feel loved and safe. Those eyes couldn't possibly belong to my husband; I watched his coffin get lowered to the ground. I snapped out of my frozen state

"A-Xing, come let's go." I said sternly andYibo let him go

"But Mommy, its Daddy." He moaned

"Now A-Xing." I said and he turned back to him

"Daddy don't go." he pleaded.

"I'll be right here buddy, go to bed." Hesaid and he came into my arms.

I went up the stairs without looking back to see if he was still there.