WAIT FOR THE MORNING

ZHAN POV

After putting a happy Fan Xing to bed Ireluctantly walked back to the master bedroom, afraid of finding him there. But also afraid of not finding him there, what was the implication of either scenario?

Did I need to be hospitalized or did Yibo miraculously come back?

I walked in and closed the door behind me,the room was empty then I glanced towards the open balcony door. I didn't remember going in there. I went into it, it was darker with the lights off, and I put my hands on the railing. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as the night breeze washed over me.

"I swear you get more beautiful each day." I faintly screamed turning around and Yibo stood up from the chair on the corner.

"I'm sorry I keep startling you." He said,walking towards me; with every step he took towards me I took one back, until the balcony no longer allowed. He stopped.

"Zhan its me." he said and I shook my head

"It can't be." I whispered,

"You died, I buried you." I added my voice breaking.

"I'm sorry about everything my dear." Hesaid sadness deep in his eyes and voice.

I bit back my tears

"No, I'm the one who's sorry." I said looking into the night

"I'm sorry that I had to spend all this time thinking I'd lost you forever. I'm sorrythat our kids had to come to terms with the fact that their Daddy is never coming back."

I turned my gaze back to him

"What are you sorry for huh?"

He paused watching me then he reached out and I backed away

"Please don't touch me." I whispered helplessly.

"Why...?" he asked in a tortured voice

"Because...it hurts." I said, my tears coming down my face, remembering the many times he touched me and kissed me in my dreams. Only to realize that exactly what they were, dreams.

"It hurts so bad Yibo. Do you know how many nights I spent just wishing I could feel your touch one more time." I added,I dropped my gaze

"God why am I not waking up?" I moaned; I was just about sure this same situation. My mind was back to its old tricks only this time it was playing the cruelest one.

The prospect of Yibo being alive against all odds was exactly what I needed, and when I woke up and realized it was just a dream it would be like a dagger to my heart.

"No Zhan, you're not dreaming love. You'reawake." He said holding out his hand

"Touch me, I'm really here with you." He added; I looked at him intently, like if I blinked he'd disappear again.

Very slowly I raised my own hand and gasped as I placed it in his, felt the familiar electric surge we got whenever we touched. I got closer, moving my hand up his arm; he was right I couldn't possibly be dreaming this.

"You're here." I whispered, my hand moving to his shoulder and neck

"You're alive." I said smiling as fresh tearscame down my face.

"Yes, I'm here, I'm alive." He said smilingtoo and my knees couldn't support me anymore.

He caught me in a bear hug and I wrapped and arms and legs around him. I buried my face in his neck, weeping and for once some of the tears were of joy, Yibo was alive...my Yibo was alive.

He sat back on the chair with me in his arms, cradling me to him as I silently cried like I never had before.

Shedding all the tears I've kept bottled up inside me for the past year and a half. He tenderly stroked my hair, my cheek, arms, back, whispering sweet and comforting words.

We stayed in our embrace even when I stopped crying, I didn't even want to spoil it with words and questions. I didn't care about anything else but that moment.

After what seemed to me like an eternity without him, he was here holding me, that's all that mattered. His body still felt as hard and warm as I remembered, his scent still as potent and intoxicating.

I fought the sleepiness; I didn't want toclose my eyes, fearing that he'd poof into thin air. I wanted to savour being in his arms forever.

My eyes fluttered open, and I shifted in bed; bed? I looked to my other side and it was vacant. I quickly sat up, the sleepy haze I was in vanishing. I don't even remember ever climbing in bed. I frantically looked around the expansive and beautifully decorated room; Yibo was nowhere to be found. I clearly remember being in his arms, I don't remember falling asleep either. I squished the dread that washed over me, starting to feelsick.

"Yibo?" I asked, no answer. I quickly gotoff the bed and the balcony door was closed. I almost ran to the bathroom and there was nobody there either.

I walked back out with shaky legs, there was no use checking the closet. If he were in there he would've heard me calling. I could look around the entire estate like a crazy person, but I'd be deluding myself.

There was no use prolonging the inevitable reality, last night was a dream; I dreamt the whole thing. It wouldn't be an entirely new thing to me but everything felt so real, he felt so real. I didn't even want to make it back to bed; I curled into a fetal position on the floor. Unlike the many mornings after a dream about him, I didn't hold back my tears.

I sobbed with my flushed cheek resting on the cold tile; I thought I could do this. I thought I was strong enough but I'm not; I can't live like this. I can't live without him.I clutched at my chest, as my breath came in gasps. For once I just wished my heart would stop beating just so I couldn't endure anymore of this.

I heard my door open; I looked up to see ahorrified Jesse staring at me before he put a tray of food on the small table by the door rushing towards me.

"Zhan? Are you okay?"

he asked frantically and I reached out and touched him

"Yibo?" I asked; it wasn't a dream?

He looked at me for a while then he scooped me into his arms and help me back to the bed. He watched me with worried eyes wiping my tears with his fingers,

"My God Zhan you scared me, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I woke up and you were gone...I...I thought you were...I thought I was..." I chocked out and realization dawned his expression as he hugged me tightly.

I clung to him wondering when this flood of tears was going to stop. He must think I've lost it for sure, maybe I have. He slowly let me go

"I'm so sorry my dear, I thought I couldget breakfast before you woke up." He said stroking my cheek with a tortured look in his eyes

"Please stop crying my love." He softlybeseeched.

"I'm s-s-sorry." I said and hiccuped; heshook his head

"No, don't apologize...I know this is hard for you and I don't know what to do, tell me what to do my dear..." He said sadly.

I grabbed the back of his neck pulling myself onto him.

"Make love to me." I whispered. Ignoring the fact that I looked and felt anything but desirable. He was taken aback for amoment looking a little reluctant but his gaze darkened with desire, betraying his reluctance.

"Zhan..." He began

"Please." I quietly begged,

"I need you, I need to feel you."

I needed him to love me like I never needed anything before in my life. I needed to feel his warm touch, his love, I'd been so frozen and lost without it.

I watched his resolve cave in as he so gently pushed my hair back and pressed his lips to mine. I thought the kiss he gave me on the driveway was my last, and feeling his lips against mine right now was pure euphoria. He kissed me with gentle passion, which quickly shifted into a more demanding soul searching kiss. I parted my lips to let him in. I moaned as his tongue explored every corner of mine, stroking and caressing. His kisses moved to my jawline and down my throat as I lifted his shirt off.

He was still as breathtaking as I remembered; my hand traced the tattoo of me on his upper back. He swiftly undid my pajama top and laid me on my back. He resumed our kisses and he took off the rest of my clothing.

His hands and lips grazed every square-inch of my body leaving behind pleasurable sensations that took me over the edge and back. He made achingly sweet and slow love to me, every thrust was intense and deep. I felt each one to the very tip of the hairs on my nape.

Making my every nerve in my body comealive with powerful and relentless pleasure. He made me climax until I thought I couldn't take anymore, and then he'd do it over again and again. Making my toes curl until they felt numb. He took as much from my body as he gave, which is what I always loved about him. I don't know how or when we stopped but we did, he slightly fell on top of me as we both panted.

I tightened my hold on him, welcoming his weight. He rolled onto his back bringing me with him and I laid my head on his shoulder. We stayed like that until we were both breathing normally. I would've liked to make love to him all day, I still wanted him even after that but I felt sleepiness overwhelm me.

"I love you." I said closing my eyes; feeling like heaven was once again within my reach.