I'll Protect Mine

AYANOKOJI POV 

After witnessing Horikita's emotional outburst, I decided to leave and let her sleep. 

Though I indeed saw her pitiful state just like how I imagined it, what surprised me was what I heard just a moment ago. 

I never thought that I would end up listening to Horikita's current feelings about me. I never thought that my decision of hiding my past greatly shaken her confidence of reaching a decision. And most of all, I never knew that she valued my existence so much that she ended up putting her brother's life at risk. 

Carve your existence into someone's mind. 

I remembered the older Horikita's parting gift to me more than a year ago. 

"It was supposed to be on the students' minds only. Emotional attachment wasn't part of the plan at all.... right, Manabu." 

How I wish I could get the answer from him right now. But that's too impossible. 

I guess, there are things that you just couldn't stop from happening. 

But first, let's put that aside for now and think of what to do with the current situation. 

I thought that it would just end there and I'll be able to go back to the school peacefully, but then, as I opened the door, the person I didn't want to run into was standing right outside Horikita's room and was leaning his back against the wall. It's as if he knew that I was inside and was only waiting for me to come out. Also, he was carrying the things I was expecting him to buy. 

Was I surprised that I saw him there? No. Not at all. Somehow, I felt that he knew I would be coming and that unlocked door made me believe that I was right. 

Instead, what's surprise was that he just let me talk to Horikita freely. 

He did not say anything and was just staring at me. 

'What are you waiting for? Just close the door and get out of my sight.' His eyes was telling me that. 

Perhaps, he was telling me that we can act like we did not see each other just now. 

Well, I always thought that this was just too early for him to talk to me. 

But, I was wrong. Because as soon as I closed the door, he asked something very unexpected. 

"Have you finally said your goodbye to her?" 

Utomiya, who I thought would let me freely leave, spoke in a serious tone. 

"So you don't want her to hear that huh that you even want me to close the door first." 

I then looked at his face but he was only wearing an expression that wouldn't give me a hint if I was wrong or not. 

"Horikita is sound asleep. Hearing our conversation would be impossible for her." 

"That's good. So, have you finally said your goodbye to her?" 

I was right then. But Utomiya quickly brushed it off as if telling me that that doesn't concern him a bit and asked me that question once again. 

"Or perhaps it's actually the white room facility that you're avoiding since the listening device is still inside?" 

Or maybe, it's no longer there. 

"Probably. Then, have you finally said your goodbye to her?" 

And he asked once again. Practically telling me to not waste his time and answer him immediately. 

But no. Utomiya was actually trying to go straight to the point as he wanted to avoid the conversation to go elsewhere and to prevent me from probing him. 

"What do you mean?" 

As I only threw a question back at him, he became quiet for a moment. 

"... Aren't you supposed to be enemies now?" 

And then, he asked back. 

It didn't even take him that long to consider that he had to play with me a little. 

"You're speaking like Horikita and I have a relationship or something for us to say goodbye to each other." 

As if he realized something from my answer, Utomiya became quiet once again. 

"....I see. I'm sorry then. I forgot that you never treated anyone like human beings who have emotions." 

Isn't that too much? 

"Was that too much of an exaggeration, Ayanokoji?" 

And then he asked me the same question in my mind. 

"I don't know." 

"That answer seems like you're telling me that I should ask Horikita-senpai about it instead since she's one of your victims." 

Victims huh. Is that even the right term? It's like I'm a criminal or something. 

"If you want to, then why not." 

I answered nonchalantly. 

Let's see if you'll get the answer that you expected. 

"So, you were not really visiting a sick friend huh. Instead, you took advantage of her condition to squeeze more information from her that you can use in the future." 

But then, Utomiya only said more of my bad sides as if he and I had the same thought of what could be Horikita's views about me. 

Well, it's actually not that surprising. After everything, he must have seen the Horikita that I saw a while ago beforehand. 

But hold on. About what he said? I don't think that's the reason why I came here. 

That's right. What exactly did I came here for? 

"I overestimated you Ayanokoji. I thought that you're different from him, but that man's blood is certainly flowing through your veins." 

Before I could reach an answer, Utomiya only went on with his words. 

But, saying that? This guy went too far. 

It's not like I got angry with that as I know for myself that I indeed have something in common with my father. But still, I'm not liking what he said. 

On the other hand, I noticed something. 

Just like Horikita, Utomiya's words were so unpleasant, yet I couldn't feel any hint of negative emotions from his voice. Horikita was understandable after everything she said a while ago. But for Utomiya's case? I find it strange. 

For every information I gathered about him, I won't find it unbelievable if he carried some of his hate against my father towards me. After all, he once mentioned that I am just like him. That I am indeed that man's son. 

But, it seems like Utomiya doesn't hold some grudge against me. 

Perhaps, he's more level headed than I assumed? Or, maybe.... he considers me as one of my father's victims just like every white room student. 

"You're saying all that but you're no different from me. In fact you're the one who put Horikita in that pitiful state." 

And so, I decided to start my investigation. 

If he'll take the bait, I will throw some questions that could help me get some clues from his answers. 

But, Utomiya only shut his mouth, intently staring at me. It was like he was trying to analyze the situation once again. If my question has another intention behind it. 

And then, just after a few seconds, the look of his eyes changed. It was definitely telling that he already saw through me. 

That's quick. 

White room students are just so hard to handle huh. 

Though it's already getting awkward staring at each other in this silent hallway, I only waited for his response, refusing to budge. 

Well, that's what I thought. 

It's possible that people could still get answers even if the person that they're questioning won't respond. But this person here definitely knows that that won't work on him. He knows that I won't be confident enough that my deduction was indeed right. After all, Utomiya's background and full intentions are still a mystery to me. 

Silence is his best answer to drive me away. 

Should I just accept that this is not yet the right time for squeezing information out of him? 

Well, it's not hard to accept that actually. Ever since he came into this school, he was being as careful as he could. Not just to me but to the facility as well. He always thinks before he acts. So it's not surprising if he wouldn't dare to carelessly say a word that could possibly spill one of his weaknesses here. 

But, that could also mean that staying in this school for a year hadn't changed him a bit. 

Though it's quite disappointing that I couldn't take advantage of this confrontation, I came to the conclusion to end it by deciding to ask his real intention of showing himself and even considering talking to me this early. 

It is still very fine not to hurry anyway. 

"So-." 

"Horikita-senpai..." 

But right after I opened my mouth, Utomiya, who was silent for a while, suddenly spoke and interrupted me. 

"... Horikita-senpai is going to understand me." 

"You're going to make her understand. Is that what you actually mean?" 

Feeling confused by what I heard, I asked the possible correct words that I thought were supposed to come out of his mouth. 

But... 

"I won't force her to understand me 'cause I know that she voluntarily will." 

How could he even think that? 

Is his situation far worse that I imagined that he thinks that Horikita would just forget what he did to her brother? 

Or could it be... 

"Horikita is not dumb not to see through a lie, you know." 

"I could see that. Isn't that the reason why she just couldn't fully trust you?" 

'Cause I was constantly hiding something from her', Is that what you mean? 

Well, it's not like he's wrong and I can't blame Horikita for not trusting me either. 

But wait. Is he telling me that he will tell everything to Horikita, even the smallest details? 

He's bluffing right?

"Shall we get down to business, Ayanokoji?" 

"You're rushing, aren't you?" 

"I have a patient waiting for me. You know that." 

"But.... is that really it?" 

Hearing my question, Utomiya only looked straight into my eyes and I'm sure, by this time, he already realized that I won't let our first confrontation without hiding our true self come off as one-sided. 

?..... 

No. Wait a minute..... That's not it....That's right. If I'll try to analyze his behavior just now, I think he already realized it a while ago and was just playing dumb until now. In fact, it seems like he wanted the conversation to reach here. That could be the explanation on why he suddenly talked when I almost decided to let him off and get what he wants from me easily. 

"... I thought that you only wanted to take one information at a time but you're being greedy, aren't you?" 

"'Cause it seems like you're in the mood. Only an idiot would let this chance slide." 

He smirked upon hearing that. It seems like my last minute deduction was right. Good thing I was able to see it and quickly changed my response. Or else, he might have noticed that what he said a while ago caught me off guard. 

"You're amazing, aren't you? My change of character did not even bother you." 

Well.... almost. 

"You are also amazing for showing the real you to your so-called enemy... Utomiya." 

Well, there it is. There's no need for me to beat around the bush and just get on with it. 

I hope that gave you a clue on why it didn't bother me at all. 'Cause I know that you were not targeting me all this time. That you never see me as your enemy and was only treated as your excuse for your plan to last this long. 

And just like what a white room student should, Utomiya indeed got it. 

Ahh.. that hard expression while staying silent looks scary. 

".... I see. That brat must have told you more than what I expected." 

Saying that while sounding like he's grinding his teeth, Utomiya then closed his eyes. It's as if he was trying to control his anger upon knowing that 'that brat' that he's saying, which was Amasawa, spilled an important information without his knowledge. 

"She just never changed. Keep on meddling in other people's business." 

I wonder if the 'not beating around the bush' decision of mine won't harm Amasawa. Utomiya looks like he wanted to give her a lesson. 

I think I should do something. 

"Well, for your information, it was my doing." 

I may not have forced Amasawa to disclose a little of your secrets but it's no denying that I did ask her about it. 

"Defending her isn't even necessary." 

As if he had finally come to control his anger, Utomiya opened his eyes and said that. 

A second after, he stopped leaning his back against the wall, stood straight and faced me. 

And then, he put his right hand inside his pocket. 

Seriously. This guy. His mood changed completely. This atmosphere was so different a while ago. 

That action just now signifies that he's completely putting his guard down. It's as if he is not facing a potential enemy. 

"Well, I think that is enough to ease your worry, Ayanokoji. You see. You're not going to be left out. After all, that sole person who knows almost everything about my plan is on your side." 

I see. It is indeed useless for me to defend Amasawa. 

It seems like he knows it himself that she spilled the information without a second thought. 

"By the time it reaches your ears, you'll get the answer yourself." 

"And you're okay with that?" 

"Of course." 

He replied with a confident attitude. 

I wanted to ask why he won't even bother stopping the information getting leaked by Amasawa but chose not to as I immediately got the answer on my own. 

It's not like he won't, instead, he just couldn't stop her. 

So Amasawa was indeed telling the truth that time huh. Her exposing my relationship with Kei was a just favor from Utomiya. However, it seems like their trade isn't balanced at all. Amasawa's upcoming favor from him seems too big compared to his. 

Nevertheless, looking at his face made me believe that it's not a big deal for him. 

Utomiya stayed silent while looking straight into my eyes seriously. It was like he was trying to get my attention back to what this whole confrontation was actually all about. 

For some reason, I made myself ready for what exactly he wanted from me. Wondering what it could be. But then.... 

"... Do not pry into my life." 

He once again surprised me as he said those familiar words that I never expected to hear from him. 

Though I already know where he got that information from which was through the listening device that they planted in Horikita's room, I still couldn't help but get surprised as I wondered why he suddenly wanted to talk about it. 

"I never thought that you would impose such a strict condition on one of the students here. Do you fear that the white room information might get leaked?" 

Probably. But .... 

"Do you think someone would believe that a facility like that would exist?" 

"I wonder. It doesn't sound like you don't care at all." 

"I'll leave that to your interpretation if I cared or not then." 

Not caring about what I said, Utomiya only changed his expression into something very serious and firmly said. 

"Ayanokoji, on behalf of Horikita-senpai, I'm here with an intention of dissolving that long time agreement you both have." 

Huh? 

Confusion and surprise. That's what I felt right after hearing his real intention of meeting me. I'm still even doubting my ears if I indeed heard it correctly. 

"On behalf of her? Do you mean, Horikita asked you to talk to me about this?" 

"She didn't. It was my decision alone." 

"Your decision huh..... But, I couldn't see any reason for you to do this." 

"You mean, what exactly could I get from it?.... Well, it's just like what you think.... Nothing." 

He gets nothing, yet.... 

I just don't understand. 

"You can't deny that you definitely know what Horikita-senpai is feeling. In fact, you understand her more than me as you are in the exact same position as her right now." 

Same position? What is he talking about? 

"She got dragged into playing a game that she doesn't even know how to play. She doesn't have any clue what's going on. Doesn't know who to believe and most of all, she doesn't know what move to make to win the game." 

"Got dragged? Isn't putting Horikita and I on the same boat kinda exaggerated? 

I may not know everything behind the scenes but I'm not completely clueless unlike Horikita. 

"Certainly. But I'm not talking about how much you both knew. It's about what the both of you are trying to do." 

I see. 

"In order for the both of you to not look like a fool and stop the flow of continuously getting dragged, you decided to gather information and investigate the mechanics of the game. And It's exactly what you're doing right now.... Horikita senpai's purpose was to get out of it, or to be more accurate, it was to win the game that we created. While your's was simply because you believed that you had to as it might become useful for you hoping that you could control everything in the final stage." 

Yep. That's spot on. 

"And what is this exactly that you're trying to say?" 

"Just like what I told you a while ago, I will tell everything about me to Horikita senpai ..... and that leads to her knowing everything about you too." 

And again.. what is this exactly that you're trying to tell me? 

"Ayanokoji. You're probably the smartest person in our generation. It may not be in the whole world but it is certain that you are in Japan. So, I'm sure that that isn't hard for you to understand." 

Then, are you telling me that what I was thinking is indeed right? 

"Are you saying that the reason why you want to formally dissolve that agreement of ours was to let Horikita not feel guilty of knowing my past?" 

"Exactly." 

Utomiya answered firmly. 

Is... this for real? 

"Cause I know, somewhere along the way, Horikita senpai would come to understand you too. That you had your reasons on why you want her to stay out of it." 

After seeing Horikita's growth, I know that what he was saying is not impossible. 

While knowing that someone is going to somehow understand my situation sounds nice, I have to divert my full attention to Utomiya's weird behavior this whole time. 

He is giving me too much information. In fact, he even presented something that could be treated as his weakness. 

It was like he was trying to debunk my full understanding about him that I couldn't even feel the usual 'careful Utomiya'. 

"Should I treat that silence as consent?" 

Getting the feeling that he has nothing to explain anymore, Utomiya asked for my answer. 

"Are you sure about this? Horikita is someone who would get mad if someone tried to meddle in her business. Dissolving our agreement without her presence might trouble your relationship one day." 

Instead of answering, he only gave me a lazy look that literally says 'stop playing dumb as you know the answer yourself'. 

Okay, fine. 

"When you involve her in your plan, I know that Horikita knowing about my past is inevitable. I know that it's not her fault either. Also, I no longer considered that deal to be active ever since my father visited me in my first year of high school." 

"Not active huh. Yet you still use that as an excuse to stop Horikita senpai from asking you for answers." 

"It's not as useful as you thought it was though." 

"Hmm... I see. So all the help that you lent to her during exams isn't because of the deal huh. It wasn't really because you want to help her reach class A but because of some other plan.... No wonder why." 

Oh shit. Did I just carelessly say a hint about my plan? No. I think I just never thought that Utomiya would pay that much attention to me. 

Sigh.. This guy is sharp. 

But well, it's not like he can do something about it anyway. 

"Ayanokoji. I don't know anything about your plan for Horikita senpai and I don't have any intention to interfere with it either as I got the feeling that it has nothing to do with me." 

Yep. I think we are both indeed right. 

"I know that you're powerful enough to not need this but just a word of advice." 

Advice? 

"Yagami is on the move of expelling you for real this time. I believe that he'll use every trick he has just to make it successful. So rather than wasting your time on someone else that isn't even harmful for you, I think you should focus on protecting your girl... while I'll also protect mine." 

Protect... his? 

Is he seriously saying this? Rather, is he even aware of what he was saying? 

"Did you really just allow it to slip out of your mouth that you'll protect Horikita just like how I should focus on protecting Kei?" 

"Yes... And it wasn't by accident." 

Utomiya responded with a stern look on his face. 

And then, right after he removed his right hand from his pocket, the air around him changed once again. He suddenly put his guard up. It was like he was actually facing an enemy who's ready to fight him. 

What's with the sudden change of demeanor, Utomiya? 

While I was busy trying to read him, he moved and walked towards me. 

Stopping right beside me, Utomiya spoke in a low, cold voice. 

"Wanna know why I unexpectedly feed you more information than what you want?" 

"I hope it isn't because you want me to vomit all the useless ones." 

He laughed as soon as he heard my response. 

"Impressive." 

We both came to that horrific place, Utomiya. You should understand that nothing would scare us anymore. 

"It was only because I was curious if the so-called white room masterpiece could deduce everything perfectly. Was I just bluffing or not? Do I already consider Horikita senpai as someone important to me that I would protect her with all my might? ... or she'll only end up as a sacrificial piece for my plan to succeed?" 

As if he spoke to me like a white room student, Utomiya laid out a challenge for me. Though it was nothing but to test my capability, it was something concerning on Horikita's side. 

"I wonder if you are trying to confuse an enemy or was just being cocky that you believe that I won't see through you." 

As I tried to take a peek at his face to see some reaction, Utomiya also gave me a side glance. While showing a smile, he answered. 

"Or I might just being kind for giving you some clues." 

That doesn't look like it at all but at the same time, I should not overlook that either. 

"Well then, Ayanokoji. I hope that I won't bump into you until the end of the next special exam." 

Upon telling me the next time that we should talk, Utomiya walked past me and entered the room behind me. 

I don't know if I should be happy with the amount of information that I've got in the confrontation earlier. I don't even know if I should take everything at face value as Utomiya showed me the Utomiya that I've never seen before. 

Him putting his guard up wasn't even because he was preparing himself for a physical fight between us here. Rather, it was his way of telling me that I should take what he was saying seriously. 

I may have said that his change of attitude did not scare me but I could definitely say that he's an opponent that shouldn't be underestimated. 

Should I believe the Utomiya who cared for Horikita's feelings or the Utomiya who saw her as another sacrificial piece? 

Whatever it is, at least I confirmed something important right now. 

Despite not seeing me as an enemy now, Utomiya is wary of me as he's still not 100% sure that I'll choose the white room facility's side or not.

HORIKITA POV 

Coming back to my senses after feeling a cold sensation on my forehead, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Utomiya-kun sitting beside me. From the looks of it, it seems like he just replaced the washcloth on my forehead. 

"You awake?" 

Him speaking to me fully awakened my mind. 

"Are you feeling better?" 

I could still feel my fever but my body temperature definitely dropped down. It may be just a little but at least, I could feel that my head doesn't hurt that much anymore. 

"Wait for a moment." 

Upon saying that. Utomiya-kun got up and went to the kitchen. 

That sounds like he is preparing some food. 

A minute later, he went back while carrying a bowl of food with both of his hands and placed it on the table. I don't even have to guess. That could be porridge. 

"It's not that hot anymore, so I think it won't be hard for you to eat it." 

"...Did.. you cook that yourself?" 

"Hmm. But I swear it doesn't taste bad." 

He then went beside me and took the washcloth from my forehead. 

"You should eat." 

I know that but my body is just too tired to get up. 

Should.... I ask for some help? 

As I averted my gaze towards Utomiya-kun, he was also looking at me as if he knew what I was thinking, yet he chose not to lend a hand as he probably thought that I wouldn't like him touching me. 

Yeah. It seems like he knew that too. 

I moved my head first to check if I wouldn't feel dizzy. 

And thank god, the world isn't turning anymore. I am indeed feeling better now. 

While I slowly got up and sat down on my bed, Utomiya-kun moved the table much nearer to me. Then he got a glass of water and medicine and placed it beside the bowl of porridge. 

As I raised my head and saw the time on the wall clock, I figured.... 

"Did you just skip class?" 

"Just eat first." 

But I only got an order despite me asking out of concern. He does sound like he's commanding me. 

Well, he already skipped his class. Nothing would change even if I scold him here. Moreover, it won't take that long and school's over. 

I took a scoop of the porridge that he made. Instead of directly eating it, I touched a small portion of it from the end of the spoon to my lips. 

The hotness of the food is indeed bearable. 

As soon as I put the spoon in my mouth, I heard a commanding voice once again. 

"You better keep the comment to yourself." 

I still haven't even chewed the food yet. And it's not like I have the energy to complain. 

What is he even afraid of? Just like what he said, the porridge doesn't taste bad. 

"...Utomiya-kun... how about you go out first.... it's very uncomfortable having someone staring at me while eating." 

While wearing that 'I got it' face, he obediently went and hid himself in the kitchen while not saying anything. 

I said to go out of the room though. But well, as long as he's not seeing me, then it's fine. 

******************** 

Despite not feeling well, I was still able to finish the food. Was I that hungry?... 

Probably. Since this is my first meal for the day. 

As soon as I finished taking my medicine, Utomiya then asked. 

"Are you done?" 

"....Are you sure you're not peeking?" 

How did you even know that I'm done? 

"It sounds like you're done though." 

So you're listening. That's creepy. 

"Can I come out now?" 

"- Wait-." 

As I remembered something, I stopped Utomiya-kun from showing himself as I don't want to say it while facing him. 

".... Is something wrong?" 

"Nothing. I just...... wanna thank you for the food." 

"That's not free though." 

What an immediate unpleasant response. I don't couldn't even tell if he's joking or not from his monotone voice. 

"Well, it's you that we're talking about. So I wouldn't be surprised if you want something in return for this too." 

I replied weakly. 

I wanted to sound angry but the way I said it sounded like I feel sad. Well, I'm sick. 

But somehow, Utomiya-kun only stayed silent and it created an awkward atmosphere. 

What's wrong though? 

"..... I .... was just joking." 

What's.... with that response? 

I'm sure anyone would find it funny with how he suddenly wanted to take back his joke. But I wasn't able to laugh as his voice and the way he said it caught my attention more. It sounded so sincere as if he genuinely regret telling his joke.

Was it because of how I responded? 

Still confused, I raised my head as Utomiya stepped out of the kitchen and looked at me. 

But his face is a complete opposite of his gentle voice earlier. He's wearing a hard expression as if he's about to say something so serious. 

"Senpai, I know that you're still feeling unwell but I had to make you do something immediately or else it might be too late." 

And I was right. 

"..What... do you mean?" 

He then pulled out a phone from his pocket and put it on the table. 

The screen shows that it was set to the voice recorder. But the thing was, it also shows that someone has already used it and recorded for 30 seconds. 

Seeing that 30 second recording, I started to panic. 

Whose phone is this? I hope it's not mine. 

Did I.... did I get caught? No way. 

Stay calm, Horikita. If you look at the phone closely, it's not yours. It's definitely not yours. 

"It's mine." 

"Eh?" 

Getting startled from what I heard, I raised my head in a flash and looked at Utomiya who answered the question in my mind. 

"That 30 seconds recorded voice is mine." 

"Your's? For what?" 

"Senpai, I know you have someone to ask for help to protect your brother outside. So I'm giving you the opportunity to tell them what's happening to ease your worry." 

An opportunity to ask for help for my brother? 

But how is that even possible? 

"You're joking. You definitely are." 

"If you're asking how am I even gonna do it, I also have someone that could help me send it to your intended recipient." 

"But isn't that someone Tsukishiro?" 

As I asked that, Utomiya only pulled out another phone from his pocket on the other side. After dialing for a bit, he put it on the table as well. 

"You can confirm who that 'someone' yourself." 

An unrecognizable phone number was shown from the phone screen. 

"Both of the phones and that phone number are from random first years. We borrowed it for only 6 hours in exchange for private points. So you see, we shouldn't be wasting time. And if you wanna ask why we have to do that, it's a necessary precaution against Tsukishiro. After all, we shouldn't get caught." 

I felt a sense of relief upon hearing that neither of the phones in front of me are mine. Then that means that there's still a high chance that he hasn't checked my phone. 

I can still fight. 

That's what I thought. But... who am I currently fighting against?... Utomiya-kun? Or was it my own feelings? 

I averted my gaze to the phones on the table. 

Him putting it there instead of directly handing it to me only means that he's not forcing me at all. That he is giving me the decision to pick it up myself. The decision to trust him that he's not setting me on a trap. 

"What insane first year students would even let you borrow their phones just like that? Even with a good reputation, no one would risk handing their phones to another student especially in this school." 

"It's just a matter of negotiation." 

Flexing one of your abilities huh. 

"Why did you record your voice as well?" 

'The opportunity to ask for help' caught my attention more that I didn't even realize that he effortlessly dodged my question a while ago. 

".... 'Cause I have something to tell them too." 

"Why are you acting like you know who I'm gonna ask for help?" 

"It's obvious that you're going to call your parents." 

I raised my head and looked at him as I wondered.... 

"What do you even want from them?" 

But I only got a silent answer. 

"What is it?" 

".... From the fact that you're sick, you were still able to find a way to naturally insert an interrogation in between our conversation huh." 

As if you let me to. I couldn't even get the answers that I wanted. 

I gazed back to the phones on the table once again.

I couldn't help but remember my out of mind decision this noon of putting my trust in Utomiya once again. That the Utomiya Riku that I used to know is going to come back. 

I painfully know that I'm too weak to win against them. In fact, that weapon that I'm still holding on had a higher chance to fail. Worst, it could even lead into something I feared the most. 

If using my brains is useless, I think....No.. I have no other choice but to resort to telling him what I really feel. 

"You.... you deliberately keep on showing signs that I should still trust you. No.. you're even telling it to me through words now. But... can't you really tell that keeping secrets is only making it harder for me?" 

As I returned my gaze back to Utomiya, he was already looking at me with a face that tells that he indeed heard me. That my feelings finally reached him. 

He only stared at me for a moment and then he dropped his gaze down. 

It was my first time seeing him in deep thought. 

All this time, he switches his behavior like everything was in plan. But now, he's looking like he's putting my words in consideration...... That's what I've hoped for. 

"....I know." 

After that long silence, Utomiya-kun finally spoke. However... 

"But this is still not the right time." 

"Then when?.... Until when should I continue to feel paranoid?" 

"After your recovery, I guess." 

"Do I really have to wait-.." 

"Yes." 

Before I could even finish my question, he already answered with a slightly loud voice, signifying that his answer is unchangeable, after turning his gaze back at me. 

"... My story... isn't normal, Horikita Suzune. You wouldn't be able to take it with that condition of yours.... Knowing you, you would most likely to keep on repeating it in your mind over and over again. You won't be able to rest well if that happens." 

"... That too. You continue to keep confusing me by mixing your answer with words that could make me think that you really cared for me." 

And he stopped moving. 

I never thought that I would be able to see that shut face of him. And it only happens when I talk with him using my emotions. 

".... The fear of trusting the wrong person is not foreign to me, senpai." 

And unexpectedly, Utomiya-kun replied back with words that seem to come directly from his heart as well. 

"'Cause if I make a wrong judgment, the justice that I'm seeking for would vanish completely.... And I'll die in vain." 

My heart stopped for a moment as I heard his last words. 

Die in vain. 

Somehow, that really felt like he literally meant losing his life. With what they showed me about what they're trying to do to my brother outside, it's really not impossible. 

His voice was gentle yet it felt so heavy. And it made me think that Utomiya-kun is going through with something much worse than mine. 

"I completely understand what you're feeling, Horikita-senpai. You know that there's going on around you and that you have to do something as you know that if you won't... the clueless people who were not even part of the game will get affected miserably. You want to help them but you can't because at the same, you yourself who knows that there's something going on doesn't really know everything that's happening. That you're not sure yourself what move to make... Is this decision right? Or perhaps... is this wrong? And all that was because you are in a dark place." 

As I listened to Utomiya-kun, I couldn't help but feel sad, heartbroken as he only made me remember all the pain that I felt. 

"You seek light from the people you trusted 'cause you know they have the answers that you need. But then, these exact same people refused to illuminate you as they are the one who put you in that dark place." 

".... If you know that much.... then why are you still doing this to me?" 

"Because not all stories are worth knowing, Horikita-senpai. Some would only harm you." 

What does that even mean? 

"... I don't understand. One of my family members is already in danger and you think that I'm still not worthy of knowing that story now?" 

"Indeed. But no, you're not there yet. And You'll only gonna realize it when you'll get to know everything, senpai." 

"... Delaying it.... It's just.. doesn't make sense to me." 

As if he knew that explaining won't persuade me, Utomiya-kun took a step and walked towards the doorway. 

"Where are you going? Are you running away?" 

And he stopped. 

While his back was still facing me, Utomiya-kun then spoke. 

"I deeply and sincerely apologized for letting you suffer more, senpai. But I still believe that everything has its right time." 

After saying his sorry, he turned his head slightly. A serious expression was peeking out from his side profile. 

"But if you really think that this is the right time, then you can do whatever you want with those phones in front of you. Though asking that person that I'm asking for help won't get you any, I'm sure listening to my recording would illuminate you a little. And if you do, I would like to apologize again as I probably no longer be there to protect you anymore cause by then... I might be busy seeking justice on my own." 

After giving me two choices, Utomiya-kun left. 

But the last thing that he said caught my attention more as it gave more clarity to what he said earlier. 

The fear of trusting the wrong person is not foreign to him and He would be busy seeking justice on his own. 

And right there, I realized that both of us are testing each other if we are worthy of each other's trust. If he is indeed my ally and if I am capable enough to help him seek the justice that he wanted. 

I wonder if Utomiya-kun is really going through with something much worse than me. 

I looked down and stared at the phones on the table in front of me, debating what I should choose. 

With the amount of knowledge I have compared to my enemies, I know that using my brain would kill me. And I know that these people would say that listening to my emotions would only kill me twice... But, despite that..... 

I picked up the phone on the left and pressed the call button. 

Please. Whoever you are, please help me get the answer that I need. 

Heart pounding, the person on the other side of the phone finally picked up. 

"I've been waiting for your call, Horikita-san." 

Wait. This voice. 

"Sakayanagi-san?" 

"Yes. That's right. It's me." 

"Why?- I mean how-?" 

Due to confusion, I couldn't decide what to ask. 

And as if Sakayanagi-san noticed it, she smiled and said. 

"Why of all people, Utomiya-kun asked for my help and how did we even know each other? Is that what you're trying to ask?" 

".. Y-yeah." 

"For obvious reasons that out of everyone, it's only me who has the only way to send that voice message outside of the school. Well, there's actually someone else, but since that guy is neither on one's side, I don't think he would do the honor of helping Utomiya-kun out." 

"Then, are you saying that you're on Utomiya's side?" 

"I'm not as well. But since the possible outcome of this plan, if turned out successful, sounds pleasing to my ears, I accepted the job." 

"Possible outcome?" 

".... The dismissal of Tsukishiro." 

I couldn't help but get surprised after hearing her reason for accepting Utomiya-kun's offer. 

"Why do you want him kicked out?" 

I wonder if she has something against Tsukishiro as well. 

"You have most likely heard it already though." 

How? Did I forget something? 

"A fully grown adult actually intervened in a high schoolers chess match. It's infuriating, isn't it?" 

Ah. That's right. Tsukishiro once proudly told me that he had once used his power by changing the result of the Sakayanagi and Ayanokoji's chess match at the Event Selection exam. 

But...that's it? 

"You could have been much closer to class A if that childish man didn't interfere. Right, Horikita-san?" 

"But isn't that reason too shallow for you to risk yourself getting caught for breaking a school rule?" 

"Are you perhaps asking that because you're underestimating me?" 

You could probably imagine someone feeling mad while saying that but I couldn't feel that from Sakayanagi-san at all. Perhaps, she knows it herself that I'm not questioning her capability but was just clueless of how she is even gonna do it. 

I gazed at the wall clock to check the time. 

The school's over and judging from the sound of the other side of the phone, Sakayanagi-san must be at her room or some isolated place that no one can eavesdrop on. I don't think she would let anyone though. 

After confirming that it is safe to ask, I once again spoke. 

"At least, could you tell me how you are gonna send the voice message to my intended recipient?" 

"I don't know if you have any idea but, the Chairman of this school, who is currently under house arrest, is my father." 

I see. Indeed. The chairman's surname is also Sakayanagi. 

"Wouldn't your fathers phone be monitored?" 

"I believed Ayanokoji-kun was able to call him so there's nothing that you should worry about."

Ayanokoji-kun? 

"Ayanokoji-kun has the means to call outside?" 

"No. Though my father is under house arrest, he's still within the area. I am merely transferring the voice message to him while my father will use his influence for it to reach your parents, Horikita-san." 

And she directly said it too. 

Hearing that from her only made me realize that Sakayanagi-san are just like Utomiya-kun and Ayanokoji-kun. That all of them belong to the same type of environment. 

"Influential people really know a lot huh. But I didn't think that you would also pay attention to ordinary people's background." 

"You do look ordinary, Horikita-san. But it seems like your family shouldn't be treated as one. Isn't your brother far from ordinary?" 

"Despite what my family achieved, we can still be treated as normal if we only have to compare ourselves to people like you." 

"Thought so." 

Let's stop talking about our differences. 

".... I don't know anything about your father but do you think he would really participate?" 

"He'll definitely will after listening to your recording." 

So that the chairman would be able to hear the condition of the school. But that could also mean that the chairman will get to know that the current student president is a pathetic one. Well, I guess it's inevitable. If this is the only way to save my brother, then I have no choice. 

"Don't worry, Horikita-san. I won't listen to a single word from your recording." 

"I don't think it would matter if you'd listen or not." 

"Are you sure you would let me? I might get a thing or two." 

"You're merciless as always." 

She laughed. 

"You're so cute, Horikita-san. That's why I just can't find any interest in you." 

"I wonder if you're really trying to persuade me to record or not." 

"Don't misunderstand, Horikita-san. I am not persuading you. After all, I won't lose anything even if the plan won't get carried out. It's you who's trying to ask for help here. Didn't Utomiya-kun tell you what's the purpose of this call?" 

I couldn't answer back. 

".... Since when did you know each other?" 

"Well, I first met him yesterday." 

".. Y-yesterday?" 

She laughed again as if she's amused by my reaction. 

"That boy sure knows how to negotiate, isn't he? I still couldn't forget what he said to me. In order to defeat power, you also need power... Well, it's not like I don't know what's the difference between kids and adults but Utomiya-kun surely made me remember the easiest way to take out Tsukishiro." 

And somehow, that enlightened me as well. 

"Did you finally get that we're not helping out of generosity, Horikita-san?" 

"Didn't that mean that you need this plan to be carried out as well?" 

"Not really as it is definitely much pleasurable to take out Tsukishiro on my own. Moreover, I'm sure my father would be able to get out of it even without anyone's help. Outside forces' purpose is only to hurry the process. Also, adult problems should be handled by adults as well. Am I wrong?" 

"... I get it." 

"But do you know what's the biggest reason why I chose to lend a hand to Utomiya-kun?" 

"What?" 

"'Cause I agree that that institution should be taken down. It's useless. That place creates nothing but fake geniuses." 

Institution? Fake geniuses? 

"... W-hat.. are you talking about?" 

"Nothing. Just tell Utomiya-kun that I'm doing my job well." 

I couldn't even comprehend what she's saying. 

"You did acknowledge Utomiya-kun's skills in negotiating. Did it not cross your mind that he was perhaps only using you?" 

"The only person I acknowledged who's above me is Ayanokoji-kun and no one else. Utomiya-kun's negotiation with me is equal give and take. I don't take one-sided benefit unless it's in my favor." 

"I could feel how confident you are with your skills but let me ask you something." 

Staying silent, Sakayanagi-san waited for my question. 

"Why do you trust him?" 

And I finally asked. 

"Is trust even the right word, Horikita-san? But it's okay. I do get what you're trying to say." 

That's right. I don't care if you're seeing through my heart right now. What's important is that I would be able to get the answer that I badly need. 

I'm just hoping she will give it to me nicely. 

"As someone who knows where they came from, of course I would believe what Utomiya-kun said." 

Her answer might seem empty and simple, but those words gave me a wake up call. 

The very reason why I couldn't believe Utomiya-kun's words, unlike her, was because of this other big difference between me and Sakayanagi-san. 

She knows Utomiya-kun's past while I don't. She understands the reason why he's doing all these while I don't. 

And it wasn't just about him. I could be the same with Ayanokoji-kun as well. The very reason why I couldn't bring myself to fully trust him this whole time. 

"Well then, Horikita-san. I'm excited to the conclusion that you'll come up with after that. I may not find you interesting but I'm curious as to what exactly Ayanokoji-kun saw from you." 

With how these people's minds work, I'm not really sure if they are trying to help me or were only leading me on for their plan to go well. If they are giving me the answers or were just pushing me to act like they wanted. 

"If you somehow decided to record, please do me a favor and send a message for me too. Do tell Shoichiro-san to please do his job well. Bye, Horikita-san." 

And Sakayanagi-san cut the call. 

I couldn't even speak and thank her as I don't really know if this is something I could be thankful for. 

And slowly, I started to notice that I'm breathing heavily. 

All these conversations sure took every ounce of my energy just to keep up with it. 

I have to take a rest or my fever might rise once again.

Author's note:

😁 Sorry again for being so late.

I've been writing this for months but I rewrote it as I'm not liking what I was writing.

If you noticed that there are things that I wasn't able to explain well, sorry but my brain is just so tired squeezing english words.

Also, there are conversations that wasn't  supposed to be part in this chapter but somehow ended up here.

I'ved been disclosing a little of my main plot and I just hope you won't get it😂

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed it.