Chapter 36

 Sunday~

Please don't care about me, it's okay

"Maybe we could try poking her? Gently? It worked last time on Jeongin."

"Jisung, how do you poke someone gent—Changbin, put the marker down."

"I'm just going to draw a tiny little mustache—"

"Don't you dare. I don't care if you're siblings, Yeji will stop cooking for us for a week if you draw on her face with permanent marker. Do you want to go back to the days of fried chicken and heartburn every night?"

"...no."

"Good, then put away the marker."

"I'm up, I'm up," I mumbled, prying my eyes open. Four blurry shapes were in front of me; as I blinked the sleep from my eyes, they cleared, becoming Chan, Hyunjin, Jisung and Changbin.

"Hi, Yeji," said Jisung cheerfully.

I yawned. "Hi, Hannie. What's happening?"

"We're doing a dance practice before the evaluation tomorrow," Chan explained. "We'll use the practice room in the maknae dorm."

I fought back another yawn and nodded. "Give me two minutes."

Five minutes later, we were off, though the late departure wasn't entirely my fault; Jisung had forgotten shoes. It was actually impressive that the members had been the ones to get ready and have to wake me up, not the other way around.

In the end, though, it didn't matter whether we were late or not, because half of the maknae dorm was still asleep when we arrived.

"I thought we agreed on ten," Chan said as he helped Minho and me haul Seungmin out of bed.

"We did," said Minho, "But you know we got off late last night ... I wanted to let them sleep in."

Chan frowned at him, holding up Seungmin's arm and letting it drop back onto the mattress. Before us, Seungmin let out a small snore and rolled over, cuddling his Pikachu plushie.

Minho raised his eyebrows at Chan in a way that told me they'd had this argument many times. "Don't act like you wouldn't've done the exact same thing."

"Fine," Chan muttered, grabbing Seungmin's pikachu plushie and handing it over to Minho.

Seungmin flipped him off and wrapped his arms around his pillow instead, still asleep.

"Yah, Kim Seungmin," Minho muttered, poking his shoulder. "Come on, wake up. I stole your Day6 photo albums."

Seungmin grunted.

"And I read your diary."

His eyes opened, and he blinked up at Minho, frowning. "You did not."

Minho looked to Chan and me, his lips twisting upwards. "I got him. Go wake up Innie."

Fortunately, Jisung, Changbin and Hyunjin had already roused Jeongin, and by the time we entered the practice room, everyone was there, though they were all in varying states of readiness.

Seungmin walked in and groaned, covering his eyes. "Jeongin, please put some shoes on. I did not consent to seeing your toe grippers as soon as I woke up this morning."

"If you had woken up earlier, you wouldn't have," Felix pointed out from where he was sitting on the floor, scrolling through TikTok.

"If everyone's ready, we'll start," said Chan, going over to his phone.

"Hold on, I have to do my eyeliner," Jeongin said, going over to stand close to the mirror. "I need to make my wings big enough so I can fly away from all my problems."

Changbin rubbed his temples. "Jeongin—"

"Oh, look, there's one of them now," said Jeongin, side-eyeing him through the mirror.

Hyunjin raised a brow at him. "You're salty this morning."

"He's salty every morning," said Minho. "Give it a few minutes, it'll wear off."

Jeongin didn't look away from his reflection. "Like the "trendy" makeup look you wore at Mnet last year after it started raining?"

Minho took a threatening step towards the mirror, prompting Chan to quickly and aggressively hug him. "Jisung, I need incentive not to commit murder right now," said Minho, eyes narrowing.

"There are no cats in prison," Jisung offered.

Minho relaxed slightly. "Thank you."

"In the meantime, does anyone want coffee?" I asked, a touch too cheerfully. Coffee. Yes. Coffee would help.

"Give me coffee as dark and bitter as my soul," said Jeongin, capping his eyeliner pen.

Changbin snorted. "He wants a white chocolate mocha, Yeji."

I laughed and left, shaking my head. Stray Kids could sort themselves out.

By the time I came back with coffee in hand—americanos for Hyunjin, Jisung, Jeongin and Minho, lattes for Felix and Changbin, black for Chan and Seungmin—the members were no longer at each other's throats, running through their title track choreography as a warm-up. I drank Changbin's coffee as I watched.

After a few more run-throughs, Chan stopped the music. "Let's rest," he said, eyes flashing to Jeongin.

"What is this move supposed to be?" I asked them, raising my arms to demonstrate the move I'd seen them doing in the chorus.

"Ah ... it's supposed to represent a blinking star," said Felix.

"Like how stars twinkle in animated movies," Jisung offered.

"Oh."

"Hyunjinnie, you didn't do it right," Minho said. "You need to bring your arms back up like this."

"Ah, sorry," said Hyunjin, knocking on his head. "I knew that, I just did it wrong this time. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"You know, when you can't sleep at night, it means someone's thinking about you," Changbin said with a grin.

Hyunjin blinked. "Who could be thinking about me at 3 a.m.?"

I looked over at Felix, who was panicking silently.

"Chan must have a lot of people thinking about him, then," I said quickly.

"Probably just STAY," Chan said with a shrug. "Is everyone ready to run through it again?"

"I'm still half-awake," Jeongin groaned, standing up with a wince.

"We can keep taking a break, then," Chan said quickly.

Jeongin blinked at him. "It's ... fine, hyung."

"Are you sure?" Hyunjin asked, brows furrowed. "We can take five more minutes..."

"I'm sure," Jeongin said, his frown deepening.

"Okay." Chan turned on the music again, and they took their positions, running through the choreo. My phone pinged; I quickly glanced down at the screen.

Claire: I still want to know what perfume Seungmin wears, you know.

My lips lifted at the corners, and I walked to Seungmin's bedroom, slipping into the bathroom he shared with Jeongin.

Seungmin wears Flower by Kenzo, I texted Claire, stepping back into the practice room. Are you done using me to fulfill your stalker obsessions?

Claire: not even close. Find out what their skincare routines are next, please. I don't think any of them have had a clogged pore since they debuted.

I'll ask them, I replied, but I'm not about to go rooting through their vanities like some sasaeng. That's something you would do.

I wouldn't! Claire texted.

Probably.

Not on a good day, anyways.

A year ago, Claire had tried to drag me to Stephen Sondheim theater to see & Juliet on Broadway. I revealed to her that I didn't know Romeo and Juliet in the first place, which she considered an utter failure on her part as a theater-kid girlfriend. We spent the night before the show binge-watching every rendition of Romeo & Juliet we could find, with Claire offering criticism of them all, saying & Juliet would beat them all by a landslide. 

The next day, I saw it for the first time—saw the story of a girl if she'd written her own life rather than leaving it up to someone else. I thought of all the movies we'd seen before, all ending with Juliet dead and heartbroken, and decided that I agreed with Claire.

After the musical, we'd found the nearest park and gone on the swings. Then, we sat in the shade of a tree and talked about why Juliet was a badass for two hours. Sometime during then, Claire had laid down on her back on the grass, and I'd done the same, and she'd taken my hand and told me, today is a good day, and I'd believed her with the whole of my heart.

"Let's break again," Chan called, stopping the music and my memories; I looked up, frowning—it hadn't seemed like that much time had passed.

"We just had one," Felix said, voicing my confusion. I blinked up at Chan, then noticed where his attention was. 

My throat clenched. Oh. Oh, Chan.

"Hyung," Jeongin said, his voice tight. "I don't need another break."

"It's okay if you want to take one," Hyunjin offered, Seungmin nodding.

Changbin blinked at them. "He said he was fine."

"Water, then?" Chan asked, looking around; the other members shook their heads, some wearing confused expressions, others not meeting Chan's or Jeongin's eyes.

They resumed the dance practice, but the heavy feeling in my gut lingered as I noticed how Chan rarely took his eyes off Jeongin, how he kept calling for easier paces and breaks, how Jeongin's face darkened every time.

No wonder Chan had wanted to go over the choreo here, before their eval at JYP-E.

"Jeongin, you need to be quicker here," Minho said, pausing dancing. "Bring your arms up earlier."

"It's fine, Minho," Chan said. "It doesn't matter."

Jeongin's eyes snapped to his, irritation flaring in them. "Yes, it does," he snapped. He turned to Minho, his back on Chan. "Show me the move again."

Minho did, choosing not to speak. The other members watched in silence, and I realized with a sick feeling in my gut that they had formed sides. Chan, Hyunjin, and Seungmin were on one; Minho, Changbin, Felix and Jisung were on the other. And Jeongin was in the middle.

A stone found its way into my throat as they continued the practice, making it hard to swallow. Jeongin ignored the gazes of the other members through it all, eyes focused angrily on his reflection in the mirror. I felt a stab of guilt. This rift now, between him and Chan—I had widened it. And now ... now there was a rift forming between the members themselves.

After another hour, they broke, finishing the practice. "Does anyone want to order lunch?" Chan offered, though his eyes were on one member in particular.

"I'm good," Jeongin said shortly, taking his water bottle and striding from the room like he was being chased.

As he walked past me, I saw that his hands, gripping the water bottle, were white with strain.

And that image—that tiny detail ... it had me following him out the door before I realized I had gotten to my feet, stopping it from swinging closed behind him. He didn't notice me until he had stepped into his room. "Yeji?"

I forced a smile. "There's somewhere I want to go. Come with me?"

He blinked. "Uh..."

"Jeongin?" Hyunjin's voice called, his footsteps sounding in the hall.

Jeongin's eyes shadowed again. "Sure."

He pulled on a sweatshirt, and we were gone before Chan could notice us.