Part 46 - Heartache

Y/n

I think Ajax realized how his grip on me might have been a bit much, because once he saw my expression, he let go and allowed me to pull my hand back against my chest as I rubbed the spot where he had once been holding.

He looked kind of awkward right now if I'm being honest, like he wasn't entirely sure about being here in front of me right now, but he spoke anyway.

"Hey, Y/n. Do you have a minute? I really need to talk to you."

Did I?

Most of me wanted to leave him here and go to look for Pugsley, since my mind could only think of him in this moment, he was who I wanted to run to, to be pulled back into a hug until that bone crushing feeling wracked my ribcage. Right now I wanted to feel safe, and loved, and I was not certain Ajax could be the one to give me that feeling. 

But as much as I hated to admit it, because I did really believe that it wasn't true any longer, there was still that fraction of my mind that still wasn't completely over Ajax, no matter how much I wanted it to be. He was still that boy who showed me kindness when I needed it the most, and for that I think I'll always have just a minute to spare.

The music for Enid's dance number started to echo out from wherever the speakers were hidden, and I glanced over to her and Agnes for a second, seeing them begin to move in sync with each other in a way that I could never imagine I would ever have the skills to do myself, before I sigh, turning my eyes back to Ajax

"Sure, but we should probably move away from the noise."

He nods, and the two of us move back towards the edge of the room where I had just come from, and the sound of the song becomes softer, fading more into the background as he sighs, standing in front of me, while I face my back to the crowd, and I shrug.

"So? What did you wanna talk about?"

He looks off to the side, refusing to make eye contact with me, as if he were nervous about something, but there was also a hint of guilt that creeped onto his expression.

"Look... I know that I haven't exactly been the greatest friend to you lately, and I'm sorry."

Woah. I was kind of kidding about the whole apology thing, I didn't actually expect him to feel bad for his action, but I guess if even he could see what he did, then maybe a sorry really was in order. What I couldn't understand was why he chose now of all times to say it.

"...Thank you, I appreciate that. I've kinda been wondering why you've been avoiding me recently, so mind telling me what's going on with you?"

And there it was again, that nervous tick he had.

I knew it from previous times we've talked, and he may have thought that I did not notice when he did so, but anytime he got uncomfortable, he had a habit of biting the inside of his cheek. But why was he nervous?

"It's...complicated."

"I've got time."

That was half true. Technically I did have the time, but if he didn't spit it out within the next 5 minutes, I was just going to leave him to his own thoughts so I can spend the rest of my evening with Pugsley.

He sighs.

"Okay then, over the past couple of weeks, I've kind of been trying to figure out where I stand with all of my feelings and such, and it's been really enlightening if I'm being honest."

I assumed he was referring to that whole thing with Enid, and while I was glad that maybe he'd finally been able to move on from her, I wasn't sure what it had to do with me. Perhaps I was just an ear for him to confide in, and I couldn't be annoyed about that.

I gesture for him to continue, as I was still a little lost, and he looked back at me.

"What I'm trying to say is, I miss you."

...

Huh.

I had no idea what I was supposed to say to that. It's not like he was making it that obvious that he missed me, and I hadn't really thought about him much until he ignored me back at the staircase yesterday, so I was a little confuddled to say the least.

And I'm pretty sure the confusion was evident on my face, because he continued to elaborate.

"I know you and I haven't really seen each other much as of late, but that time apart has helped me to realize how much I really do like having you with me. And I'm aware of all that stuff that happened with Enid, but I've gotten passed that, and..."

His eyes held this soft look that made me feel as if I were going to throw up in my mouth right here and now.

"I think...I want to be more than just your friend."

Stop.

Please stop.

Take me back.

Just a few minutes, before I agreed to this conversation.

Before I knew what he had just told me, making my mind go blank.

I couldn't think, so I just stared.

"I've just seen how much you've been hanging around Pugsley and that, and it just made me see clearly that I want us to be more. You know that you and I could be great, just think about it, we work so well with one another, and I get it now with all of that sarcasm you send my way, it was you trying to tell me that you-"

His words died in his throat, and his eyes pulled away from mine as something else caught his focus. Is he serious right now? He says all of this shit and can't even take the effort to even stay on task while he does it. What kind of a confession even is this... He says he thinks, THINKS he likes me. Yeah because that's what every girl wants to hear from the boy they used to like.

But the fact that he still wasn't looking at me spoke volumes. Whatever was distracting him was starting to get on my nerves a little, and I get fed up waiting for him to snap back into reality, so I turn my head to see what was so much more important than finishing his sentence.

Oh god...

No no no please no...

"Pugsley..."

His name was the first word that muttered from my lips, it was the only thing that had graced my mind in the moment, and there was no words to describe just how far my heart dropped when I saw him standing there, mask now removed from his eyes, showing the full expression of pure sadness that he displayed, which only added to the guilt of knowing that there was a chance that my conversation with Ajax may not have been as private as I originally thought.

I had really hoped that Pugsley hadn't just heard what Ajax had said to me only a few moments ago, but his dejected expression was telling me everything otherwise. 

His timing could not have been any worse. If he had only walked over a few seconds later, he would have heard me tell Ajax no, that I do not feel the same, that his feelings were merely something I believed him to make up in his head to soothe the pain of not being able to have what he truly wants.

But alas, fate has a cruel way of making my life so much more complicated that it needed to be, and so I had to go out of my way to fix it yet again.

Pugsley's eyes met mine in a way that I don't think I could even begin to describe, like I could see the light in his gaze slowly die the longer he looked at me, and it made my heartbeat escalate with each breath I took, as I became scared of what he was thinking. I wanted so badly to tell him that it wasn't what he thought, and that his assumption of this situation was wrong beyond compare, but the words got stuck.

His head gives me a slow and short nod, and his smile only grew sadder by the second.

"I'll uhm...I'll catch up with you later. Sorry..."

He sounded hurt, heartbroken even. And it was slowly shattering mine to see him like that, like every single one of his hopes had just been crushed under the weight of someone else professing their feelings for me, which by the way, I did not believe for a goddamn minute.

Pugsley gently turned away from me on his heels, walking to disappear amongst everyone surrounding us, and I wanted to stop him so desperately that it hurt that my feet wouldn't move.

I wanted run after him, to say everything that had been racing through my mind the second that I saw him walk into this gala in the first place. I wanted to tell him that Ajax wasn't the one that I wanted to be with, and that I didn't even want to be here standing in front of him listening to fake feelings that were messing with my brain, but I just couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

"Look, Y/n..."

"Did you know he was there."

Ajax's expression shifted to slight fear at my tone of voice.

"What..?"

I felt my body tense, and I glared at him while trying not to be on the verge of tears.

"Did. You. Know."

He stayed silent, and he couldn't even look me in the eyes as a small sigh escaped him, and that alone was plenty more than enough to tell me I was right.

I scoff.

"Let me get this straight. You come over here, and tell me these fuckass feelings you have for me, knowing full well that he was standing right there? Unbelievable. I thought you were a better person than that, you know first hand the way I feel about him. You literally told me yourself that he was MY BOY, and guess what Ajax, you're right. 

He is my boy, and now you wanna go and ruin that by dropping this bomb on me that you really like me? After what exactly? Realizing you don't like it when I spend time with someone who actually doesn't treat me like shit? Yeah, real nice move Ajax."

My words seemed to shock him a little, and he just brushes it off with a nervous laugh.

"Look I know this is a little sudden, but I can't help how I feel, you're what I want."

A little sudden. Yeah, that's one way to put it I guess. More like straight out of the fucking purple. Was this guy on something right now? Because if he genuinely thought that any of the words coming out of his mouth held any truth to them whatsoever, then he is dead wrong.

"No. I'm not."

He looked hurt by my words.

Good. Because this is the most insane thing he could have done to me, and I was not ready to have this conversation, but I guess there's no better time than the present.

"This might be a little hard for you to hear, Ajax, but I am nothing like what you want. You're right, you do know what you want, but so do I. And you're only saying this to me because you can't get over the fact that you can't have what you really desire."

I sigh.

"And that sarcasm you're claiming was my way of somehow trying to tell you something? Absolute bullshit. I'm like that to everyone I know, and it was no different with you. At least...it's not anymore."

"...what do you mean?"

This whole thing was just snowballing, if I was going to just lay it all out in the open, might as well say EVERYTHING.

"I did like you. A lot, actually, almost to the point that it hurt whenever you brought up not being over Enid, because it just reminded me that you would never feel the same way that I did about you.

But that was before I knew what if felt like to be put first. And like it or not, now that I've found that feeling in the very same boy you claim to be so jealous of, I'm not going to throw it all away just because you suddenly want to return the feelings that I got rid of.

Pugsley has treated me better in the last few months, than you have in the last year. And don't get me wrong, I will always be grateful to you for being there for me when nobody else was, because I don't think I could've gotten by without that support.

And I think you'll forever have a special place in my heart for being the boy who did that for me, but you will never be anything more than that, I'm sorry."

His face dropped with each word I said, and his voice got quieter, more timid.

"So what you're saying is..."

I take a deep breath.

"No. You may think that I'm what you want, but you are no longer what I want. Because I have someone who does put me first, and continues to do so any chance he gets, because that is the sort of person he is, and like it or not, he is exactly what I want. So I'm sorry if this isn't what you wanted me to say, but I'm not going to drop everything I've built with him to be with you."

Don't cry...don't cry...

I swallow, trying to keep calm as I continued.

"Especially when I know for a fact that I was your backup plan.

You had your chance, for a whole fucking year, you had so many opportunities to say this. And I get that maybe you needed time to come to this conclusion, but that's not my problem, not when I spent that whole time wanting you, only to be shoved aside for a girl who fell out of love with you.

I'm not going to conform to these feelings for me that you think are real, just because the girl you really feel all these things for chose someone else over you. I can't do it, and I won't. Not when I have the perfect guy within my grasp, who would do anything for me. And I know he would, because he does. Though I can't say the same for you.

You and I both know that you're not truly over Enid, and I don't think you ever will be unless you talk to her, and I think she should be the one you talk to about your feelings, because whether it fits in with whatever idea you had of how this conversation would go,

Pugsley is what I need, and he is what I want."

And it was the truth. But the fact that I finally had a chance to say it felt like the most freeing thing ever. Thinking about my feelings, and actually saying them all out loud, are two very different things.

Ajax nodded slowly, taking in a deep inhale before breathing it out again, and gracing me with a subtle smile.

"Okay... I understand. I'm really sorry..."

"Yeah well, maybe you should have thought about that before you did this. But please, just talk to Enid. I think you both could really use it."

I took a step back from him.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and fix the heart of my boy that is on the brink of shattering. Goodnight, Ajax."

With that, I left Ajax in that corner by himself, as I push through the crowd just the same as Pugsley had did, and my heels clicked across the floor while my eyes searched through every area I could see in my view, trying my hardest to spot even just a glimpse of him.

But I couldn't see him anywhere, no matter where I pointed my gaze, he just wasn't there.

Not even back over with his family, nor was he hiding around the edge of the room, it's like he just completely vanished from the room. And I felt my hopes of finding him slowly drop with each place I looked without any luck of spotting my boy...

There was still one place I hadn't looked though.

My head turned to look up at the balcony across the room, the same one that lead outside into the late night that I was hoping so badly to be able to still save. I didn't know if I was right about this hunch, but I had no other idea on where he could have run off to, so it was worth a shot.

I make a quick move to run over to the staircase, not caring if I bumped into anyone on the way past, because I only had one thing on my mind right now, and that was fixing the one relationship in my life that I can't live without. And if he walks away tonight, I'm not sure I'll ever get him back.

Each of the steps fall behind me one by one, and cold air of the outside hits my skin even before I cross the threshold divided by the curtains, and I shivered slightly at the sudden change in atmosphere, but pushed through the cold anyway as my heels started to echo against the concrete of the pathway outside down into the courtyard.

I felt my shoulder's relax at the sight of the figure who was only able to make it a few more paces across the yard before I called out to him.

"Pugsley! Wait!"

His body stops at the sound of my voice, and he he turns his head to look at me over his shoulder while I made my way down the stairs, past Eugene who was still stationed underneath the gargoyle under the moonlight, and I stop just short of Pugsley.

"Please, let me explain..."

He shifted fully to face me, and he shook his head softly with a shrug.

"It's okay... You don't have to explain yourself to me, it's really none of my business, I shouldn't have been listening in the first place.."

His voice was soft, and it made me want to cry right then and there. I wanted to just hold him and tell him that what he heard in there wasn't how I felt at all, and I craved so badly to say everything I had said to Ajax, about how I needed him, wanted him... 

But for the first time ever, he wouldn't let me speak...as if he were afraid that if he did, he would hear me say what he didn't want me to say. But I would never... I just couldn't get a word in to tell him otherwise.

"I know that you aren't mine...and I have no right to act as if you were."

He has no idea how wrong he really is. Yes, yes he does. He has every right, and he is the only one who could ever have that right.

"But-"

I tried to argue, and he cut me off.

"I really shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, and that's on me. So please, don't feel bad... I just-"

He sighs.

"I thought that maybe I finally had something in my life that nobody would ever be able to take away from me. Something that was mine alone, that only I could have. And it was dumb of me to think that I could call you that, because you're your own person, and I can't claim you as such a thing when I couldn't even have the balls to tell you how I felt about you in the first place."

Oh my god...

"Pugsley..."

My voice was breaking, and so was every inch of my soul at the look in his eyes.

"Please, just let me say this. If only this once..."

He moved to stand right in front of me, lifting both his hands up to hold my face in them gently, and he made perfect eye contact with me as he spoke.

"I love you. So much... And I would do anything for you to make you happy, I need you to know that, because I have never loved anyone the way that I love you, and I don't think I will love the same ever again. And that's okay, because I don't want to. 

You are not only the girl that I have fallen so deeply in love with, but you are my best friend. And I will never want to trade what we have for the world, because what you and I have, it's not something I think I will ever find in another person.

The kindness you have shown me, from the moment you met me, you didn't even know what sort of person I was, and yet you treated me with a love that I have never received from anybody before. I'm so used to being disregarded by others, just pushed aside and forgotten about simply because people don't like what I say, or what I do, even when I am just trying my damn best to be myself.

And when I met you, I was so afraid you would be the same, that you would act cold towards me because I was this freak of a boy who walked into a dorm that wasn't even supposed to be mine. I figured you would only ever see me as a burden that you could not get rid of.

You had never met me in your life before, but still you cared for me, made me laugh so hard until my stomach hurt, simply just by being yourself. I never imagined that I would be so lucky to find myself to have somebody like you in my life. I thought it would only ever be a dream that I would get to experience the kind of bond that you have given me.

I will always be grateful to you that I was the one that you stayed with, that day when you had a chance to finally be rid of me, you decided to keep me around, and to this moment I still don't entirely believe that really happened. The memories I've created with you still feel like such a vivid idea that I have made up in my mind, but every single day you remind me that it's real.

With everything that you and I have been through together, the good and the bad, you stayed. You only ever wanted the best for me, and I know that, I know that more than anything. I mean you didn't even leave when I brought a whole fucking zombie back with me, because you knew how badly I wanted a friend. And you were with me when I lost him, twice. I know I have made some pretty dumb decisions, but you never made me feel as if they were such, you simply helped me to see your view of things without making it seem as though I was an idiot. 

Nobody has ever treated me like you have, and you could have shown your graciousness to anyone in the world, I was just the guy fortunate enough to stumble upon you when I needed you the most, and I will forever be grateful for the mix up that day. Because without it, without you... I would not be the person I am today.

You helped me try to make friends, because you knew how much it meant to me to not be alone this year, like every other one before, but it took me too long to realize that I do not need as many friends as I first thought. Because you mean more to me than any amount of peers or meaningless friendships ever would. You are the only person I need.

Every look, every fleeting touch that you and I have shared, I will remember each one of them, because they have been burned into my brain for as long as I live. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

I admit I always wished for a girl who I could love with romance, just as much as I loved her as a friend, and you have been that girl to me, from the second I saw you in that dorm room for the first time, I have never wanted to look at another girl the same again.

You have become the air that I breathe, without you I don't think I could have survived this long. And you are the only person I have ever met who is able to knock my lungs empty with just a few simple words, or even just a look. And now that I have gotten to have you for as long as I have, I will hold onto that, even if I can't keep you by my side forever.

And I promise you, I will be there to catch you when you fall, and I will be the one to put you back on your feet and help you to walk again. And when you get tired of walking, I'll carry you to the ends of the earth just to see you smile, just so I can give you a moment of peace in an everlasting life of chaos. I will heal you when you get hurt, and I will hold you when you cry, because I want to be your comfort, your care when you need me.

Because you are my calm. You are there for me, whether it be going along with my crazy plans, reassuring my mind when it goes a million miles a minute without a second of peace, or simply laying with me and letting me listen to you talk for hours, or singing softly in a voice fit for such a kind soul as yourself, until I'm eventually able to fall asleep.

Those nights that you and I spent together staying up late and laughing about anything and everything, have become my favorite thing in the world to me, because it was those moments where I knew that I had you for myself, and nobody could take you away. You were mine, and I never wanted it to end.

I want your touch to be the only one I ever feel across my skin, you didn't run or scream, nor did you make fun of me when my scars were exposed to the light like others did when they were seen. Instead, you carefully traced each line with a gentleness that I will never get over, and found a beauty in my imperfections that not even I have ever been able to see through my own eyes. You have made me realize so many things about myself that I never would have known if I hadn't met you, and I am so grateful I could see my flaws through your eyes, to finally be able to accept them as they are.

I want you to be the only person I ever care for this much, with my whole being and soul, they all belong to you... And if your happiness means that I can't have you, even though I want it more than anything I have ever craved before, then I can accept that, and I will never hate you for it. And if I was given the chance to do this all over again, without having anything change, I would take that chance for as many times as you would let me.

You are equal parts the most annoying girl I have ever known, and the most caring person in this world. And it is too much of a perfect balance for me to have not fallen in love with you."

He tilts my head up further towards him, and he smiles, lifting my mask off of my eyes and placing it down in my hands. His fingertips came up to the side of my face, softly leaving a whisper of a touch over my skin, leaving me wanting nothing more than to lean in and never let him pull away.

"They were the first thing I fell for, you know... Your eyes.

They were what I saw about you, before anything else, and they hold the most beautiful sparkle of kindness in them that I have ever seen, the sort of sparkle that not even the billions of stars in the sky could come close to competing with. And through some miracle, they always seem to draw mine to them, your eyes are the only thing I could stand to look at in any room I'm in, because they are the center of my world, and I will never get tired of staring into them. 

And they'll never change, no matter how much time passes. Every time I look at them I fall even more in love with you, because I know that when your gaze meets mine, that you truly are looking at ME. And there is no higher honor than that in this universe. And I hope to never have to see them shed tears, but if they do, I will be right by your side to dry them.

You are the light in my darkness, and you are my funny girl, for now and until forever. The way you make me feel in unmatched to anything I think is possible to feel for someone, and it honestly scares me to think just how crazy it is that I met you. You will forever be my person, even if I never get to truly be yours. And it is still so incredibly unbelievable to me that somebody like you exists in this cruel world, and somehow made your way into my life, not even knowing that you are exactly what my soul needed to continue living.

In a world where I constantly feel like I don't fit in, like I'm some freak of nature that doesn't deserve to be loved, where everything about me was shunned, pushed to the side because I wasn't like everyone else...making me think that I would never feel like a real person, worthy of being treated the same as others,"

...

"You were my normal."

His face leaned in closer to mine, holding me ever so closer as the subtle feeling of his lips connected with the space just above my brows, leaving a gentle kiss that may very well be the first and last that he ever gives me tonight, and he whispers against my skin.

"And you always will be. You're my peace, my quiet when all I feel is chaos, and you are the one person in this world who has shown me what being truly loved is supposed to feel like. For that I will always be grateful to you, for giving me a glimpse of what I've always wanted.

I think I just need some time to come to terms with the fact that I don't get to end this night being able to have you as my own. But I need you to know, that I will wait for you for eternity if that's what it takes to be allowed to call you mine. You are worth every lifetime I live, and I will love you in every single one of them, even if you never choose me. I love you, Y/n."

It was as though I could feel every individual piece of my soul shatter at his words, crumbling into a million shards inside me, and I'm left feeling empty as he pulls his touch away from me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before he backed away. 

I tried to reach out for him, but it was like my muscles wouldn't move. The same feeling you have when you try to run in a dream, only to stay right where you are.

Except this time, it felt more like a nightmare.

His figure got blurrier with each step he took away from me, and I could feel my eyes glaze over.

No.

No.

No no no no no...

Come back...please come back.

I need you...

I felt my legs go numb, and my head turned over my shoulder to look at the only other person in the world right now who could stop me from falling.

"Eugene..."

My voiced trembled.

"Wha...what just-"

He quickly stood up from the steps, rushing over to me as I felt my legs finally give way, and my breathing was so shallow it felt like I was drowning in a world without air.

Pugsley was my air. And now I was going to suffocate with him gone.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay..."

Eugene's arms were fast to wrap around my shivering cold body as my shoulder's wracked with the movement of finally letting the tears flow. I couldn't stop them. I wanted to scream, cry, hit somebody until I couldn't take it anymore.

His palm travelled up and down my back, trying to soothe the sobs that escaped me, quietly comforting my sadness.

"You're gonna be okay..."

He didn't know that. He couldn't feel the hold that Pugsley's words had around my heart, and it was killing me that I had been to much of a coward to make him stay with me. All I wanted, more than anything was to have him be the one holding me. He WAS my comfort, my calm when I needed it most, but now that I'd lost that, I had no idea what to do.

««« ♪ ♪ »»»

My sobs had finally calmed down to become occasional sniffles, and I pulled Eugene's coat further around my torso.

 "You have really tiny arms..."

I mutter softly, which pulled a small snort from the boy sitting next to me, and he placed a careful hand on my head.

"Now there she is...you feeling a bit better now?"

I nod, letting out a deep sigh.

"Yeah, thank you for that."

I had gotten all of the crying out of my system, and Eugene had just sat with me while I did so without saying anything except the odd word of comfort here and there, and I was eternally grateful to have him with me right now.

And being able to just feel whatever I needed to, freed my mind to think more clearly about everything, and I realize that maybe I had been overreacting a little bit. I was just so overwhelmed with all of the emotions I was feeling, with the whole thing with Ajax only minutes prior to being told by Pugsley that he loved me, it all just sort of came flooding to my brain at once, which resulted in a very sightly breakdown in the middle of the courtyard.

That confession broke everything inside of me, and I had no clue what to feel. To be told in such gorgeous words just how much he cared for me, in so many more ways that I ever would have thought possible, it just made me crumble. And for him to say that he would just accept it if I didn't love him in return, that's what tipped me over the edge, because he had no idea just how much love I felt for him, in every way that he felt for me. And he would be willing to push every single one of those feelings aside just so he could stay with me, it hurt that I couldn't bring myself to tell him he had no reason to do so.

I would let him love me for the rest of my life...and I would be damned if I didn't love him just as much in return, because that is what he deserved.

The crying kind of made it hard to say any of that though.

But thankfully Eugene was quick to tell any passing people who were staring, to piss off, which honestly would have made me laugh in the moment if I wasn't so busy bawling my eyes out.

The point is though, it's not like Pugsley was gone forever. I still had it within my power to talk to him about everything, and hopefully make him see the truth about my feelings instead of just letting him assume what he thought to be true.

Eugene patted my head with a small smile.

"You don't have to thank me. I'm here for you, always. You know that, right?"

I lean my head onto his shoulder, mumbling a soft 'mhm', and he took his hand off my head and placed it onto my own hand in my lap instead. 

"Good. And now that you're done crying, I can finally tell you, that this time I think it really would be best if you give the guy some space. Just let him clear his mind for a bit, I'm sure he'll come back eventually, and then,"

He lifts his head to look down at me.

"You can tell that motherfucker exactly how you feel, and he has to listen. And if he doesn't, I'll beat him up for being an ass to you."

The two of us share a moment of laughter as I shake my head softly.

"Please don't, I think I've had enough drama for one night thank you."

We fell into a comfortable silence that lasted a minute or two, but my eyes drifted over to the glass jar that rested atop the boulder under the gargoyle, and there was something different about it that caught my attention. And with my mind more clear now, I was quick to figure out what I saw,

And what it meant...

I lift my head from his shoulder, swallowing nervously.

"Hey uh...Eugene?"

His attention turned to me.

"Yeah?"

"Didn't you say that those moths follow their host?"

He looked confused for a moment, looking at me with a furrowed brow before his face dropped and his gaze turned to look in the same direction as mine, up at the jar that now held the familiar bug that he had been waiting out here so patiently for in the first place.

"Oh ssshhit-"

His body was quick to move from his sitting position on the step beside me, and his arms reached to grab the glass, almost fast enough to make it fall and shatter if he was not careful. But he placed its' lid back into the rim, trapping the restless moths inside as he reached back down for my hand, pulling me up as he began to run rather quickly up the steps towards the entrance of the hall.

"Eugene slow down! I can't run in these things!"

I was tempted to take off my shoes and throw them at the back of his head just so he would listen to me, but the way his mood had shifted dramatically to something more panicked told me that whatever was going on, was more important that the fact that I couldn't keep up the same pace as him.

The hall was practically empty now, and the lights were dimmer due to one of the chandeliers being broken into pieces on stage, from what I could only assume was falling from an unexpected cause.

But what the hell happened in here while I was gone...?

The once bustling crowd of people that filled these four walls was now nowhere to be seen, and the music was gone, the only thing that could be heard was a deafening silence, slightly interrupted by the words of the officers speaking words that I could not hear quite well enough from this side of the room. 

But when I looked over to the side of the stage, my eyes landed upon two people that I knew, talking to each other with smiles on their faces. The kind of smiles that made me think that maybe there was something more between them than just simply being friends.

Huh...I've never actually thought about that pairing before, but now that I was seeing it first hand, I had to say, they actually could make a pretty good duo. And I don't just mean in friendship.

Ajax and Bianca...I wonder if there really is something there...I mean honestly it would explain a lot.

But that wasn't my main concern right now. I mean there were literal police officers taping off the area around the broken chandelier, and when I looked closer, I saw a pile of rubble that almost appeared like broken stone.

Wait a second...I recognize that stupid looking pirate hat.

Holy shit.

I mean I can't say that I was really ever fond of the guy, he made some pretty weird speeches, and didn't really seem like a great person after I heard him trying to blackmail the sheriff, but actually seeing your principal turned to stone and broken into pieces on the floor, literally, was not a sight that I witnessed very often. Or at all.

I was a little tempted to go over there and ask what the hell happened, and why Dort is very dead, and perhaps even ask why the police are here, aside from the fact that there has clearly been a murder and some property damage.

The reason as to how they got here in the first place was left a mystery to me though, seeing as I didn't spot them come in earlier, nor did I see them outside, and I did not really have much time to ask anyone, as Eugene pulled me down the staircase and raced over to the group of people that I had only seen in passing earlier tonight, but knew from personal experience.

I mean according to the man standing with them, I was part of their family already...

God that just made me feel even more guilty. They thought my bond with Pugsley to still be just as strong as it was yesterday or any day before, but tonight had turned from what I believed to be the best, and the worst night of my life, both because of the same boy.

But it wasn't his fault that I could not muster the courage in that moment to speak my truth.

Eugene let go of my hand as we came to a stop in front of the Addams family, and was a little out of breath from our previous rush to get here, and honestly I could have told him that running that fast was going to result in becoming breathless. Especially with his asthma. It must be pretty important if he was willing to forget he had it all together just to get here.

"Wednesday! Isaac, he's here."

Oh no...

The girls head whipped towards Eugene once he had said that, and she sounded a lot more concerned than I had ever heard her speak before.

"Where?"

"At the Nevermore graveyard."

Well that information would have been nice to know five minutes ago.

Mrs. Addams' head turns to look around the room as she let out a small gasp of air.

"Pugsley."

She turned her head to me, acknowledging my presence here for the first time tonight, and the look in her eyes was scaring me a little bit. But I knew exactly how she was feeling, because I felt it too.

"Where's Pugsley??"