Reality Sinks In

Warnings: relationship angst, fluff

Summary: You and Bucky get a taste of normalcy in Italy where he goes to work and you spend his money. He will do anything to see you smile but he's quickly reminded of the fact that your smile can be easily taken away.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then

After that conversation with Bucky, you became more suspicious about what he did for work. There was only one way you were going to get answers and that was if you got them yourself. You hated doing this to Bucky because you loved him so much. You should have trusted him if he said there was nothing to worry about, but there was something nagging at you in the back of your mind.

Something wasn't right.

You took one of your old Air Tags and placed it inside his trunk underneath his gym bag. Wherever he went, you'd know about it. Bucky allowed you to stay inside his mansion while he left for business knowing there were guards here to make sure you don't go in places you weren't supposed to go in.

You pulled up the app for the Air Tag inside his car to see he was already on the move. You grabbed your purse and headed out. You order an Uber and put in a random address just so the driver would have something concrete to charge you with. When he got there, you hopped into the front seat.

"I know this isn't customary but I need you to follow this Air Tag, please. I'll pay you two hundred bucks," you said and showed him the money so he knew you had it.

"Done," he shrugged.

You placed your phone on his hook so he could see Bucky's movement. The map took you all the way to the other side of town. The only thing on this side of town was an old warehouse. Why was Bucky here? The driver pulled up to the warehouse and you got out of the car.

"If you wait here, I'll tip you an extra hundred. I'll be right back."

"You got it."

Bucky's sleek black Maserati was outside with three other Range Rovers that Bucky's men drove. You snuck inside the warehouse and immediately heard screaming coming from upstairs. You slowly walked up the stairs in fear that you might be caught if you made too much noise. On the second story, you approached a room that didn't have a door. Whatever this room was, the door had been smashed to pieces either from vandalism or by homeless people.

"Are you going to tell me what I want to know?"

That was Bucky's voice. What the hell was he doing here? You peeked your head through the open doorway and saw a man tied to a chair in the middle of the room. His face had cuts and bruises, blood soaked his clothes, and one of his eyes was swollen shut. Bucky's men stood around the man with guns while Bucky was right in front of him with his sleeves rolled to his elbows.

"I swear, I don't know anything, man."

"You want to know what I do to people who lie to me?"

Bucky pulled his fist back and punched the guyy so hard that you heard his bone crack under the pressure. You put your hand to your mouth as tears came to your eyes. This wasn't the Bucky you knew. Bucky was kind and loving, not brutal and dangerous.

"Tell me who your boss is and I'll make your death quick and painless," Bucky ordered. The man refused to give Bucky what he wanted, and Bucky didn't have time for this. "I got a girl waiting for me at home who I'd rather be with. Don't keep me waiting."

When the man didn't answer, Bucky took out his gun and aimed it at the man's head. The man started crying in fear but Bucky spared him no mercy. He shot him twice in the head. You jumped back from the impact and let out a startling cry. Bucky and his men turned toward the sound, and Bucky locked eyes with you.

"Shit, Y/N!"

You didn't hear him because you were already running away from him. The Uber you ordered was still down there like you asked him to, and you hopped back into the car and wiped your tears.

"Just take me back home."

"Are you okay?"

"I need you to step on it."

You wanted to get back to his mansion before Bucky did. When you did, you threw the money at the man, thanked him, and sprinted toward the house. You packed whatever you could with the hope that you'd be out of the house before Bucky came back, but luck wasn't on your side.

"Y/N, please, wait–"

"Get away from me! Don't come near me!"

"This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you what I did."

You turned to him with tears rolling down your cheeks.

"You're a murderer! My parents are Christians. Imagine what they'd think of you!"

Bucky stood up straight and hardened his look.

"You knew what you were signing up for the second you gave your body to me."

"God, being in a relationship isn't meant to be this exhausting! I can't keep waiting around for you to come home, what secrets you want to keep from me, and if I'll get in trouble for going into your damn office! You're hurting people, Bucky!"

"This is the life. Take it or leave it."

Bucky left your room but you didn't think twice about what to do next. You finished packing and left his house with the intention of never returning again.

Now

You're about to leave for Italy when you decide to double-check your list just to make sure you have everything. Clothes, makeup, hair products, hair curler, bathroom stuff, pajamas, etc. You walk by the front door and notice a brown box outside on the porch. Weird. There isn't a note or anything on the outside but your name is written in beautiful script writing.

You take the box inside and open it without thinking it could be dangerous. Inside is a note and the beautiful dress you and Gio made together.

The dress was made for you. You should have it.- Gio

Oh, Gio. You quickly put the dress in your suitcase before Bucky comes down. You toss the boxes next to the ones you got from Amazon hoping he'll think it's from Amazon. Your mouth goes dry at the sight of Bucky in a three-piece suit. It makes you want to rip it off him and take him back upstairs.

"You're staring," he smirks.

"You're very hard not to stare at."

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

Bucky takes the suitcases to the car while you pull out your phone to text Gio. You feel bad for bailing on his college party but how can you resist Bucky's offer to Italy? You don't Gio to feel like he's second best, so you come up with a little lie about why you can't go to the party.

You: Hey, Gio! I feel so bad about this but an emergency came up, and I won't be able to make it to the party this weekend.

Gio: Hey, no worries! Maybe we can hang out after?

You: Yeah, I'd like that. Maybe when I get back in town.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, coming." Bucky drives you to the airport where his personal jet is waiting. "Wow, I've never been on a private jet before."

"You can have all this and more," Bucky grins. Sam takes the suitcases and brings them to the jet. "Any weekend, anywhere in the world. You name it, you're there."

"You're making all this go to my head," you blush. "Before you know it, you'll be taking me all around the world every weekend."

"I hope you use it that way."

He escorts you into the jet while Sam and Steve get it ready for takeoff. Once they join you inside, the pilot taqkes off. One of the female flight attendants brings over a flute of champagne, and you take it with a smile.

"Thank you." You turn to Bucky who is right across the small aisle. "So, why are you going to Italy?"

"I need to take care of some business." At the word "business" your smile falters. "Before you overthink this, I'm going to negotiate terms on opening a branch in Italy. I'm meeting with the owner of the building I want to buy."

"Okay, okay," you chuckle nervously. "I'm assuming this meeting isn't going to take all week so what else do you have planned?"

"Whatever you want."

You hum in thought and smirk when a few ideas come to mind.

"Dinner overlooking the Eternal City?"

"Yes."

"Shopping in Milan?"

"Only if you promise to spend a lot of money."

"What if I wanted to stay in bed all day with you?"

"If you're going to do that, you're going to be naked the whole time," he smirks. You blush darkly and look at Sam and Steve who have yet to look at you. "I once promised you the world. I'm just holding onto that promise."

It's not enough you took a private jet to Italy but Bucky had to get the most expensive room at the most expensive hotel in Italy. The room is covered in gold–golden and white walls, a beautiful California King bed on a platform, a big bathtub in the middle of the bedroom that can fit two people, a balcony overlooking the city and waters below, and a full kitchen. This place is more expensive than you made in an entire year.

"Wow, this room is beautiful."

"Listen, I made the meeting first thing so we could have the rest of the week together. I gotta go. Sam and Steve are in the next room if you need them or if you want to go somewhere. I will be back in time to take you to dinner."

"Okay," you smile.

Bucky grabs the sides of your face and kisses you deeply. Bucky leaves before he's tempted to take you to bed, and you admire the room some more. You're in fucking Italy! Of course, you're going to go shopping here. The bathroom is as big as your bedroom back home. This is all so surreal. This is nothing like what you had growing up.

You spend two hours inside the bathroom pampering yourself before getting dressed in a light blue flowing dress that goes past your knees and a pair of cute heels. Steve and Sam escorted you to the nearest mall where you immediately fell in love with the stores available. You have Bucky's shiny black Amex card in your purse that's begging you to use it, and who are you to deny that?

Shirts, shoes, makeup, pants, dresses, lingerie, perfume, and more are in bags that Steve and Sam are carrying for you. All things you don't really need but want. You might be buying all this knowing Bucky is seeing all the transactions on his bank app, and that is giving you motivation to buy more. You just bought a Louis Vitton purse and Christian Louboutin shoes when your phone rings.

"Yes, may I help you?" you answer Bucky's call.

"I see you're quite the spender today."

"Well, you're not here to make me feel better. This is the next best thing."

"I can't wait to see what you bought. I'll need you to try them all on for me."

"Oh, I will. Don't worry, I got something for you."

"I already have everything I want. You."

Bucky sure does know how to make you blush like a schoolgirl.

"You know how to make a girl swoon."

'I know how to do more than that," he smirks.

"Don't you have a meeting to get back to?"

Bucky chuckles. "See you tonight, Doll."

After spending another hour shopping, you felt bad for Steve and Sam who carried all of your bags. When you get back to the hotel, you take the extra two hours to get ready. You decide to wear the dress you and Gio made since you're proud of the design and love how it looks on you. To match the dress, you wear your new Louboutins that are sleek black like Bucky's card. You step out of the elevator onto the floor where the lobby is. Bucky is waiting with Steve and Sam with his back to you. Sam's eyes meet yours causing Bucky to turn to see what his trusted friend is looking at. Bucky's eyes go slightly wide, his mouth drops open a bit, and his pupils dilate because he's in love with what he sees.

"Wow, you're just stunning," Bucky smiles.

"You clean up nice," you blush.

Bucky takes you to La Pergola, one of the most expensive restaurants in Italy overlooking the Eternal City just like you wanted. Bucky must know the owner because he takes you to the balcony where there are no other people. You should have known he'd buy out the entire section just so you could eat by yourselves. The waiter brings out the wine menu which you take to look over.

"Where did you get that dress?" Bucky asks. "It's beautiful."

"Thank you. I made it in class with my partner. He let me have it."

"He?"

"Yeah, Gio. The guy you met at lunch last week."

Bucky's eyes narrow. "When did he give it to you?"

"I found a box on the front porch before we left." There's something dark and dangerous about the look in Bucky's eyes. "No, please don't do this. Not here. Not now."

"Fine," he nods after a moment.

Bucky will let it go for now but he will definitely be upping security. No one would have been able to leave a box on the front porch without him knowing.

"So, you made this dress?"

"Yeah. I want to make my own clothes and have my own brand. I'd love to see millions of people wear my clothes."

"I bet you'd be able to showcase your work in Milan during fashion week."

"I wish," you smile. "Maybe one day."

Since the chef also knows Bucky, he gives a discount on the meal even though Bucky asks to pay full price for everything. Bucky ordered the seafood platter while you got the steak and lobster. Both meals were absolutely delicious, especially the chocolate lava cake. Since Bucky didn't pay full price for the meal, he tipped three hundred dollars extra. You're not used to such luxury but Bucky isn't shy when it comes to money.

Afterward, you and Bucky decide to walk around the Po River that flows through Italy. The lights alongside the river make the night glow with the light of a thousand fairies. It's all so romantic. Bucky knows Steve and Sam are following loosely behind you two but he ignores them since the most important person right now is you.

"What are you thinking?" Bucky asks.

"How I wish every day could be like this."

"It can."

No, it can't. Not as long as Bucky does what he does for work. There are plenty of people who would see past the murder but how can you? You love life and you think everyone should value their life. Bucky takes it away like it's nothing. You don't want to ruin the moment so you don't say anything about it.

You two stop at a small clearing that overlooks the river, and Bucky pulls you close by your hips. He slides his hand into your hair and holds you steady before kissing you. He makes you feel so alive. He makes you feel like you're the only woman in the world. Why are you so conflicted about this? Why can't you seem to be okay with this dangerous part of him?

Bucky pulls away from you and notices something behind you. He sees two men standing across the river in black suits with the faint outline of guns strapped to their sides.

"What is it?" you ask.

"Nothing. It's time to go back to the hotel room."

Bucky pulls you away gently, but you look behind you to see the two men.

"Who are those men?"

"No one."

"Then why are you rushing me out of here?"

"Y/N, come on. We need to go."

You stop walking and yank your arm out of his grasp.

"No, who are those men? What is going on?"

"Doll, I have a lot of enemies here. I'd rather not let them see you."

That's why you can't let it go. That's what breaks your heart. It doesn't matter where Bucky goes, you two can never be normal. You allowed yourself to get caught up in this moment but reality stings when it sets in.

It hurts to love Bucky. It's making you bleed, and you don't know how much blood you have left to give.