Chapter Three

– Age 67

I watched the ocean in thought. I pictured Jaya playing in the waves. She would have been 22 in a few months. It was as if I could hear her laughter as the water splashed against the shore. I hadn't been to the cabin since she was here, it felt odd to be back.

"Mommy! Look at me!" Ozai cheered, breaking me from my memories. I looked over to my youngest son who looked so much like his father.

"What would you like to show me, Darling?" I asked, giving the nine-year-old a warm smile. He spread his arms out in front of himself, showing me his sand sculpture. It was quite the creation, a castle-like building on a mound of sand. For a moment it reminded me of the Southern Air Temple with its spindly little turrets but then it was engulfed in flames and the sand turned black, falling into a pile on the ground. I gasped but quickly regained my composure. "Very nice, Ozai. Your bending is really improving."

As my youngest went back to his bending my older son came to sit beside me in the sand. "Where have you been hiding?" I asked, putting an arm around his shoulders, he was as tall as me now.

He looked down with a frown, pulling a parchment from his pocket. He didn't open it right away but held the rolled piece in his hand. "Does Father love us?" He asked, I sucked in a breath.

"Of course, Iroh. Your father loves you and Ozai very much. And so do I, you two are my little angels." I said, kissing the top of his head. Despite his short fourteen years in this world, Iroh had always been quite philosophical and emotional. He was a sensitive boy, unlike his little brother who seemed to only thrive through destruction. "What's that?" I asked him, pointing to his parchment.

Slowly Iroh unrolled it and I felt tears come to my eyes. It was a painting of our family from years ago. Iroh and Ozai had yet to be born, afterall, Jaya was only three, and Azulon and I still had a happy and loving marriage. I swallowed hard, Iroh's question made sense now. He'd realized that his father used to spend time with me, and with our first child. The difference from then and now was day and night. Azulon had violently disagreed with this trip. Not only had he refused to come, but, instead he wanted the boys to stay and practice their bending at the palace. I'd taken them anyway.

After Jaya's death Azulon and I had fallen apart. We'd been lost, me in grief and him in anger. He'd declared full fledged war against the Southern Water Tribe, where the man who killed Jaya had been from, and he sent more soldiers into the colonies. He was overcome with rage and revenge for our baby, and from what I could tell... he was never going to stop. I'd been paralyzed with pain, I blamed myself at first. I tried to end it. I didn't want to continue living in this world without my daughter. But, like before, I could not stay dead. I'd tried once, and then again, Azulon had walked in on me as I did it the second time. He'd stopped me from doing it a third.

That was when he'd found out about Aang. It was when he'd realized that the Avatar may be alive. And, since then there have been constant search parties. I mentioned my inclination towards the South Pole, I felt as though he may be there. But as much as they searched... they could not find the airbender. Azulon and I took the knowledge of Aang's survival differently. While I cursed the boy for causing me to live long enough to suffer through this, to see my daughter's death, for failing to save the world when it needed saving. Azulon cursed the Avatar for the possibility of him stopping his growing empire.

"Jaya would love you, she was always very thoughtful like you. Though a little more energetic." I told Iroh with a laugh. He smiled at me. "I want you to promise me something, Iroh."

"Ok," He nodded.

"I want you to remember that revenge is never worth it. Promise me that you will always remember that." I spoke quietly but sharply.

"You mean from Jaya's death? Father wants to take revenge?"

"Yes. But he will never succeed. No matter how many waterbenders he kills... Jaya will never come back to us, and we will never be the same as we were back then." I explained.

"And you? Who do you blame?" Iroh questioned.

I looked out at the water and thought about how to answer. "There was a boy," I began, "he was to become extremely powerful and I was to help him. There were fears that he would die, and so the Sages and the Monks linked our spirits together. My life would keep him safe." Iroh looked at me, there was sadness in his eyes. He knew some of what I was saying, he knew I didn't age. "One day, when the world needed him most, he ran away. He abandoned us." I looked back to the ocean.

"Why did he run?"

"I believe he was scared. The Fire Nation was expanding and he was supposed to stop them. He could have stopped them."

"You said them." Iroh noted with confusion. I nodded in response.

"I wasn't always a part of the Fire Nation, Iroh. I was raised by monks in the Western Air Temple. They were my family. But, they were all killed when the boy ran. I've gone through my life watching the people I love die, and live and grow old and die." I looked back at my son, he was trying not to cry. I felt bad, he was young, he shouldn't need to deal with this... but he needed to know. I needed him to understand that he shouldn't follow his father's path.

"You want revenge on the boy?" He asked.

"All these years he's been running, hiding, letting the world fall out of balance." I sighed, "I love you and your brother Iroh, I love you both to the ends of the earth and the sky and beyond, but I should not be here. I should have died along with my family, I should have died 49 years ago. I will never ever regret having you, but I am mad that I have had to live through everything. And one day, you will leave and the cycle will continue and I will be alone."

"I'll never leave you, Mom, never." Iroh said, hugging me. I smiled through my tears and hugged him back.

"The anger and hatred I feel for him. It's painful. But, it doesn't only hurt me, it hurts those around me too. And your father's quest for those who hurt us has only made us break apart more. I want you to promise me, Iroh. Promise me that you will remember that revenge is never worth it."

"I promise." He said, hugging me again. "I love you mom."

"I love you too, Sweetheart."

:)