Chapter Two

– Age 18

"Gyatso!" I screamed. I felt myself stumble, my injuries too severe to be able to firebend or even walk forward. I watched in absolute horror as Fire Nation soldiers fired at the old monk. He didn't fight back, everyone else was already dead anyway. He held my eyes until he was completely engulfed though, and the look was burned into my memory. He was pleading for me to find Aang, to help the boy who had run away only days earlier. I was mad at him. I was mad at the 12-year-old. He had a responsibility. He had a job. And he abandoned us when we needed him most. How was I supposed to help him if he didn't want to be the Avatar?

I felt my life return to my body with a hard and sharp breath. My eyes snapped open and I sat up suddenly, leaning to the side to hurl after a moment. When my head stopped spinning I looked around. Tears sprang to my eyes at the sight surrounding me.

The dead bodies, charred and black from fire, were unrecognizable. Only Gyatso's necklace told me who he was. The soldiers had cleared out, they'd accomplished their goal. Everyone was dead.

– Age 43

I admired my features in the gold-trimmed mirror. I looked the same as I always had. Gold eyes, light skin, dark-nearly black hair which landed down at my lower back, and of course my youthful face. Despite my age, I never looked a day over 18. That fateful day Aang had run away marked the last time I had aged.

The door to my right opened, its large and intricate designs making it stand out from the other doors in the hall. This one was special.

A guard stepped out and turned to me. "The Fire Lord will see you now."

I nodded in response, straight faced. It was comical how he worded it, as if Fire Lord Azulon was doing me a favor, as if I'd been the one to come here, as if I wanted to meet with him. In reality, I'd been taken, head hunted for my looks and my bending. The Fire Lord was looking for a wife, and again, I found it funny. I'd agreed to come because I was bored, but also because I was curious. My life hadn't had meaning in a long time, I was lost and bored. An adventure sounded interesting.

I stepped into the throne room with a level expression. Truthfully this was a bad idea. If anyone in the palace found out about my relation to the Air Nomads, the Avatar, or my supposed curse as the Spirit Vessel... I didn't even want to know what would happen.

I bowed deeply upon reaching the wall of flames which the Fire Lord rested behind. There was a line of what I guessed were the Royal Advisors as well, and they gasped when I rose without the Fire Lord's allowance. I didn't care. The adrenaline was something I hadn't felt in a long time. Dancing the line between proper and rude was a fun game.

"What is your name?" One of the advisors asked me.

"Ren of the Fire Nation." I answered, though technically I grew up at the Western Air Temple. I rested my gaze beyond the flames, and upon the shadowed face of the Fire Lord. I was testing my luck, and I could tell the advisors were bothered by it.

"Ren of the Fire Nation, how old-" The advisor was interrupted.

"Ren." I was shocked when the smooth voice rose from behind the flames, and the advisors seemed to be too. "Ren–it means clever and honest."

"Yes," I answered after a beat of silence. "And it also means lotus, I was named for the white flower." This was stupid, I was going to get myself thrown in jail for speaking to the Fire Lord this way. It surprised me when the man shrouded in flames laughed. I kept my eyes on him and his shadowed form chuckled.

"I like you." He said.

– Age 47

"Jaya, wait for Mommy!" I called out to my giggling two-year-old daughter as she waddled towards the ocean. I hurried after her, my feet slipping through the sand. When I reached her I scooped her up and kissed her cheek. She giggled.

"Down! Down!" She laughed as I tickled her tummy. When I placed her in the sand again she made her way to the edge of the waves and shrieked when they softly touched her feet. I smiled.

Suddenly, arms wrapped around my waist and I felt my husband's lips on my cheek. I smiled wider. "I told you she would love the ocean." Azulon chuckled, resting his chin on my head.

I shook my head with a laugh. "And, I never doubted you. I only said that I thought that your ministers, admirals and advisors, would not let you take the time away."

"I'm the Fire Lord, I can take a vacation whenever I want." He retorted with a smile, but we both knew that wasn't true. This was the first time we'd been away from the palace without a political motive since our honeymoon three years ago.

"She's grown so much." I mumbled, watching our little girl chase the waves. Jaya was my pride and joy, she had given my life meaning after so many years of wandering and depression. Azulon had promised to bring meaning back into my life, and he had. I had a job, to support my husband and to be the Fire Lady. And now, I was a mother, mother of the heir to the throne. Every day that went by I thought about my past less and less, though sometimes that was hard when I saw my youthful face in the mirror, unaging.

When I'd told Azulon that I would never age, I don't think he believed me. I'd explained that I had a curse, the spirits had cursed me to suffer an eternity. I'd emitted anything relating to the Avatar and the Air Nomads to be safe. But, everyday I think he began to believe me a little more. Every day when he woke to my blemishless face and he looked in the mirror to see his aging one, I think that my words began to ring true for him. Though he didn't seem to mind. He was, as he said "pushing thirty with a beautiful wife by his side." Maybe this could last, I could continue in this relationship with a man I loved... but deep down I knew he was ageing without me, one day it would catch up with us.

– Age 49

I woke in the middle of the night to rushed footsteps. I'd always been a light sleeper. It was dark out still, and the moon was high in the sky. I shook Azulon awake, concern rushing through me. "Yes?" He grumbled, half-asleep.

"Something's wrong." I whispered. My urgency and the fear in my voice seemed to stir him enough. He listened too. There were more footsteps and some voices faintly carried through the hall to our room, I heard a thump.

"Stay here." My husband whispered, he got out of bed and quietly pulled a sword from its decorative sheath on the wall.

"Azulon, what's going on?" He held a single finger to his lips as footsteps approached our door. I stared at him, terrified. Sure, I was an excellent fighter and I knew I couldn't die... but the people I love could.

"They're in here." I heard a female voice whisper. Our door opened and I was suddenly making eye contact with a woman, her face covered with cloth. My breathing deepened but I kept my eyes on her, determined to not give away Azulon's position standing behind the door.

Three more masked men entered after the woman and I cried out in surprise as one of them launched a rock at me. I narrowly missed the small boulder as I rolled off the other side of the bed and landed on the cold floor. A figure was on top of me in seconds but I reached up and burnt his arms. He let out a cry and fell to the side as I quickly found my footing. The woman was a water bender and she let out an angry scream when I finished off the man at my feet.

She was about to bend at me, but her water fell from the air as she was run through with Azulon's sword. All four invaders lay on the ground around us, each dead, as I embraced my husband. "Are you okay?" Azulon questioned, taking my face in his hands. I nodded, though my heart was still racing. Suddenly, my breath caught in my throat.

"Jaya!" I tore myself from my husband's arms and sprinted out of our room and down the corridor. I ignored the dead guards, my heart hammering out of my chest as Azulon ran behind me. Jaya's bedroom was only a hallway away but it felt like an eternity. When I rounded the corner I wanted to scream. Her door was open.

I heard movement inside, but I didn't care for my safety at the moment, only that of my daughter. "Get away from her!" I was hysterical, my fire shot out at the intruders, causing them to scatter in the nursery, but it was already too late. Jaya was on the ground, lifeless.

I went to our daughter while Azulon killed the murderers. I screamed and wailed for hours, refusing to let go of my baby. She was only four years old.

– Age 50

I felt my life return to my body with a hard and sharp breath. My eyes snapped open and everything came back like a crushing weight. A wail left my lips and I reached for the knife again but it wasn't there. I turned to the side to meet eyes with my husband. Another pain filled me at the look in his golden orbs. Why was he here? I'd come to the nursery to be alone.

"How?" He had tears running down his face, he looked broken... even more than the normal misery since Jaya's murder.

"Please, Azulon, I want to die. Please. I can't do it anymore. It's too much."

"You already tried, twice." I shook my head, just because I'd come back the first two times today didn't mean I couldn't still die. 38th time's the charm.

"No, I don't want to feel it." I wailed, Azulon threw the knife away and brought me into his arms.

"I know, Ren. I know. I'm so sorry."