Back At It

Azriel's PoV:

They went back to the Hewn City two days later.

This time, Azriel stayed hidden in the shadows behind Cal as Mor dropped her to the library and left.

It would be better if everyone thought that she was alone.

Mor had already planned for the back door to be unguarded.

He hid in the shadows as Cal pawed through the books one by one.

Today she was clad in a turquoise blue dress and a red corset. The fashion seemed to suit her.

Cal didn't dare say anything to Az as she couldn't risk giving him away, but Az could feel the tension rolling off of her.

"So this is where the Cursebreaker's blood has been hiding," said a voice behind Cal and she turned around. Az looked at the person standing and it wasn't a guard this time. He was courtier from the Night Court. "My friend hasn't been seen since you last came here. That's quite a coincidence, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Cal. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work."

Cal pushed him aside and walked ahead, her head held high. The courtier grabbed her by her elbow then and yanked her back roughly.

"Not so fast," said the courtier, his voice sickeningly sweet as he grabbed Cal by the waist. She tried to get away but his hold tightened. "I don't care what work you have, but I have more important work with you."

"I could say the same," said the shadowsinger, emerging from the shadows. He saw Cal smile at him, impressed at his entrance. "But my work is with you, and you are not going to enjoy that."

Cal's PoV:

The courtier screamed again as Azriel ripped his fingernails off by lodging Truth-Teller underneath his nail bed.

Azriel had just spent two hours with him and he had poured out at least six names.

Spies. From Hybern.

For the last one hour, he had only begged Azriel to let him go. No names came out and Cal knew that he knew no more.

She couldn't look at Azriel throughout this time.

He didn't look like the Azriel she knew at all.

His eyes were furious, his face a mask of unfeeling and brutality. His hands and face were splattered with the courtier's blood.

The screaming hadn't been nice either. She was transported back to Under The Mountain at least twice during the entire session and she had to will herself to not let the fear consume her. And every time she forced herself to open her eyes and stay in the present, she saw Azriel looking at her. His face was still that of a merciless torturer, but his eyes, his eyes were filled with concern for her when he looked at her. She shook her head, reassuring him that all was okay.

She was a little scared of this side of Azriel.

"What do you think?" said the shadowsinger, looking straight at Cal. The courtier was tied to a pillar and his head was bent down, as if unconscious. Azriel was wiping the blood from his hands with a piece of cloth. "Do you think he has said all he had to say?"

"I think so," said Cal, looking at the courtier's bloodied hands and chest. "He seemed to be despairing towards the end. Which means he had nothing else to give."

"Are you alright?" Az put a finger under her chin, stabilising her face so she had to look directly into his eyes.

"I am alright. I am just- I did not expect the interrogation to go like this."

"Do I scare you?" His voice was soft and his eyes were like molten hazel. But then she noticed his bloodied hands and his face during the torture came back to her. But how could she be scared of someone who was being so gentle with her?

"No," Cal said and then gulped as she saw the blood on the side of his face.

"Sure? Because if you are, I would understand that. After all, I do to people what has been done to you for a long time. I do to people what Rhys had tried to save you from. I do to people what I had rescued you from."

"You do it mostly to people who deserve it."

"That doesn't mean I don't scare you. If, you ever find yourself absolutely terrified of me, I want you to tell me that, okay?"

"Why? You're going to stop working?" Cal chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"I will take a break from whatever I am doing." Cal looked into his eyes which were so intense that she wanted to look away. But his hold on her chin made sure she couldn't. It wasn't hard enough to hurt, but it was firm. "I will take a break and show you that its still me. I don't want to scare you again. What you had to see that day in the library, I am really sorry for that."

"I wasn't scared of you."

"You were, Cal. I saw your eyes. You cringed away from me. Maybe your mind played tricks on you, but there is no denying that I scared you."

"Az, its okay. You did what had to be done. And I am fine, really. I promise you, if you scare me again, I will tell you. And I will have you buy me some cake next time. Like lots of cake. To make up for it."

Cal smiled at him and his face relaxed a little. He gave her a small smile, but his eyes lit up.

"He is out for good," said Az, looking at the courtier. "I will go to the Hewn City with Cassian to get the people he mentioned. Would you like to go back home? I will have someone drop you back here once I return."

"I can stay," she said. "I mean, he is tied up. So even if he wakes up, he can't do anything to me."

"Alright then. I will be back in an hour."

Az kissed the top of her head then and left. She sat down on a chair when he noticed Truth-Teller on the table. She picked it up, admiring the blade.

When she had asked Az to hold her two days ago, he hadn't even questioned her once. And he had stayed like that until she lifted her head from his chest.

They hadn't really talked about it after that. Well, she barely saw him after that. She just knew he was taking care of official matters overseas as the spies were mainly from Hybern. No mention was made of the incident at the library and Cal was grateful for it. She didn't need people making a big deal of what she herself had been very ashamed of. Cal felt herself getting lost in her thoughts.

"Water," came the hoarse voice of the courtier. "Some water, please."

"I have been instructed to not go near you," said Cal, not taking her eyes off of the man. He had pulled her out of her thought train and she realised that she had phased out for over half an hour. Az should be back any minute now. "Just wait for a while till Azriel comes back. He can give you the water."

"You think the shadowsinger will give me water?" The fae chuckled humourlessly and then ended up coughing. "That bastard is a monster. He and Cassian, both ruthless Illyrian bastards. And they serve another bastard, their half-breed whore of a High Lord."

"Be careful how you talk about my High Lord," snapped Cal, sitting up straight. "You people are the ones spying on Rhysand, eating up his court from the inside, like fucking parasites. And you have the audacity to comment on him? You are pathetic. All of you are."

"I am sorry." The courtier said this after a long pause. "I am a little on edge. Please, give me some water."

"I'll wait till Azriel comes back."

"Please." Cal didn't move. "Please! My throat hurts! Just a little bit of water."

Cal sighed in defeat as she went to the other side of the chamber, picking up a pitcher of water.

"Thank you so much," said the courtier. "You are human, after all. Thank you, sweet girl."

"If you try anything," warned Cal, Truth-Teller in one hand, "I will kill you."

She went closer to the captive and held the pitcher directly at his lips. She couldn't see his face clearly as it was bloody and covered by his hair. She tilted the pitcher slightly, hearing noisy gulping noises as he drank the water thirstily. She remembered what it had been like being thirsty. And she felt pity for this being.

And that was her mistake.

She hadn't noticed when he had loosened his chains on one hand.

She suddenly felt her neck being grasped from the back and before she could scream, he had freed his other hand and was grabbing her.

But Cal wasn't someone to go down without a fight. She swung Truth-Teller at him and kicked him until his back hit the wall.

But he was fae after all.

And he was stronger.

And faster.

He was behind Cal before she had even blinked. His hand locked around her wrist that was holding Truth-Teller. She was expecting him to twist it until she dropped the weapon, but instead he turned her wrist and pointed it at her neck. He grabbed her other hand and twisted it behind her. She felt a dull throb and whimpered.

Her hand with Truth-Teller was completely under his control as he grabbed her hand and took it backwards until Truth-Teller touched her neck.

"Thank you for the water," said the courtier, chuckling in her ear. "Now, be a good girl and walk out with me."

"Like hell I will," said Cal, putting up all resistance she had against his hand.

"Then, I am afraid it is good night for you."

"Let her go," came a booming voice from the door and it was Cassian. He was holding one fae behind him, tied up. A spy, Cal guessed.

Azriel was behind him, holding another one. She saw two Illyrian warriors behind them, each holding two faeries.

"I don't think so," said the courtier, pressing Truth-Teller into Cal's neck and she felt the cold bite of the blade on her neck.

"Let her go," said Azriel, stepping in front of Cassian. He looked mad, but he also looked a little frozen. As if he was more scared than angry. That look puzzled Cal. "Let her go, or you are going to regret existing."

"You can't do anything to me, bastard!"

Cal was done at this. She was done being a liability, a damsel in distress.

She twisted her hand that was at her back until she felt his fingers loosening slightly. She then jerked her hand out, hitting him on his chin with her elbow.

He reeled back from the blow but his hold on her other hand was still strong. He pulled her back and she felt the blade sink deeper into her skin. The sharp bite of it made her whimper but she didn't stop fighting.

She let him pull her back until she was pressed tightly against him. That's when she kicked him in his shins. She kicked hard, her boots making a crunching sound at the last kick as he buckled to the ground. His grip on her hand loosened then and Azriel pounced on him, neutralising him immediately.

Cassian and the others took care of the situation.

"I had told you to stay away from him," said Azriel, his back to her as he tied the courtier up again. His voice sounded hoarse. Broken.

"He wanted water," clarified Cal, holding Truth-Teller up to him.

Azriel took a step back and punched the courtier on his face. He yelled and Cal saw two teeth fly out of his mouth. Azriel's back was still to her and Cal did not want to walk ahead to see his face.

She knew what she would see would scare her.

And she saw Azriel's hands bleeding profusely.

Azriel punched him again and Cal heard a sickening crunch of bones.

"Az," said Cassian, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Stop this."

Azriel didn't stop as he punched the courtier again. There was no scream as the courtier had already passed out. Cassian pulled Azriel back.

Azriel turned around then and his eyes scared Cal.

They weren't cold or merciless. They were uncanny, unhinged. As if whatever the courtier did made Azriel lose all semblance of humanity he had within himself.

He held his hand out to Cal and she handed Truth-Teller back to him. She saw his eyes go over to her neck and then narrowing there.

"I am sorry," blurted out Cal.

"Go!" said Cassian. "Both of you. Rhys and I will take care of the rest. Azriel, you cant stay here like this. Take Cal back."

Azriel didn't say another word as he grabbed her hand and strode out of the chamber. She almost had to run to keep up with him. She stumbled over her own feet and almost fell over when his hands were under her arms then, preventing her from falling. Then he started to walk slower, allowing her to keep up.

"I am sorry, Az," said Cal again, unable to keep the trembling from her voice. "Please don't h- just don't be angry." She was genuinely scared.

"Complete what you were about to say, Cal," said Azriel stonily.

"I ju-" Cal couldn't finish what she was saying as Azriel winnowed them right outside the House of Wind. He strode in with her to the study. "I don't want you to be mad."

"You were about to say something else, weren't you?" He looked at her neck. Then he let out a groan of frustration and opened a drawer. He pulled out a wad of cotton and dabbed at her neck gently. It stung a little and she flinched from it. "I am so sorry," said Azriel suddenly and Cal noticed a tear roll down his face.

"Az," said Cal softly, holding his hand that was at her neck. "I am alright. It is just a scratch. Its nothing compared to what happened that day."

"No, its not."

"Az, I am so sorry."

"Stop talking!"

"I shouldn't hav-"

"STOP TALKING!"

Azriel had yelled in her face and she cringed back from him.

"You," said Azriel, his hands gripping the tops of her arms. "You were about to ask me not to hurt you, weren't you? Right before we winnowed?" Cal froze in place. She had never seen Azriel like this. "And of course you think I am about to hurt you. Because it was MY blade that did this!"

"Azriel," cried out Cal in a small voice. Instead of flinching from him, she grabbed his hand tighter and pulled him closer. "Please. Please, just listen to me."

"I would rather have DIED than watch you bleed from MY blade!"

She saw Azriel's chest heaving in anger. His fists were clenched at his sides and she tried to move closer to him, pressing her body to his. She didn't know why, but she knew it could calm him down.

She could calm him down.

He was hurt above all. He was more hurt than angry.

Azriel roared in anger, looking down at his hands as if they had just committed a grave sin. He then lifted up his fist, aiming for the wall.

Cal saw his hand going up and she acted on instinct.

She wrapped her arms around his torso, placing her head squarely on his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. She pushed him back, away from the wall. She knew he would hurt himself if this continued.

"Please," begged Cal against his chest, beseeching him to stop. "Please, Az, please. Calm down. You're scaring me."

Azriel's PoV:

You're scaring me.

The words hit him like a ton of bricks and he stopped mid-step.

His hand was still raised to punch the wall. He knew that the force would probably make the wall crumble, but he didn't care.

All he could think of was how his own blade was used to hurt Cal. All he heard was Cal almost begging him not to hurt her.

As if he would ever hurt her.

Watching blood trickling down her neck under the assault of his own blade destroyed him. He couldn't get the image out of his head. He couldn't hold his anger anymore.

"Please, Az," begged Cal again, her head pressed onto his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around him. "Please, I am scared Az. You are scaring me."

As angry as he was, he had promised her. He had promised her that if she ever told him she was scared, he would stop whatever he was doing and talk to her.

No matter what.

Even if he was angry at himself.

"Maybe," said Az, surprised at how hoarse his voice sounded, "you shouldn't stand so close to me if I scare you."

"I don't want to be scared of you."

Her words came out barely above a whisper. He took a deep stabilising breath before taking a step back from the wall. He gently held Cal by her arms and tried to pry her away from him.

But her grasp was firm and she didn't let go. As if she was scared of letting him go.

Az couldn't push her away by force.

He traced a finger down her cheek and felt warm tears trickling down.

Did he just make her cry?

"Please," begged Cal again. "Please, don't push me away. Please, just stay here, please."

Az took another deep breath before circling his arms around her. He cradled her head against his chest with one hand and placed the other on her waist.

"I know you would never hurt me, Az," said Cal softly, her face still pressed against his chest. "I didn't mean that. You looked really angry. And I saw your hands. I just- I didn't want you to hurt yourself."

His hands.

He hadn't been able to feel his hands but now that he focused on them, he felt a dull throb on his fingers and knuckles.

"You were hurt," said Az, breathing slower now, "you were hurt by my own blade. I promised you I would never hurt you."

"And you didn't. That guy did. He forced the knife to my neck."

"But it was my blade."

"But it was not your hand. The only reason why your blade hurt me was because you were not the one wielding it."

Cal pushed away from him slightly just to look up at his face. He didn't know what she saw there but her eyes softened at that. She pried herself away from him and held his right hand. She reached out and held his other hand too.

She reached behind her and took the cotton that he had taken out for her.

"Stay here," she ordered and she might as well have put a spell on him. She pushed him back upon a chair and then left the room.

She came back with a bowl of water.

As she dipped the cotton in the water, he noticed her neck. The thin lines made by his blade were not bleeding anymore, they were now angry lines decorated by blood clots.

A sharp hiss escaped his lips as she wiped his knuckles with the wet cotton. When the blood cleared from them, he looked down to see that the skin had split in two places on his right hand and in one place on his left hand. They were split over the knuckles.

"Its good that I had read the one book we were able to get from the library," she said gently before placing a yellow paste over his injured skin. The sting was surprisingly sharp and he ended up letting out an unintentional whimper. "I am sorry."

"No," said Az, looking into her eyes as she started to wrap his hands up with a clean cloth. She was concentrating so hard and she looked a little adorable. "You are doing good."

"I have never done this before," said Cal. "So, you're my first patient. It might hurt more since I have no experience."

"You could never hurt me."

She looked at his eyes then, a soft smile appearing on her lips.

"Thank you for trusting me," said Cal. "Even after I fucked up."

"You didn't fuck up," said Az, holding her wrist as she turned away after bandaging his hands. "You were kind. You gave water to the person who hurt you. You are human. And then, you fought back. We were able to recapture him because you fought. You didn't fuck up. I did."

"How did you fuck up?"

"I had broken his wrists when I caught him. That had allowed him to loosen the chains. I should have told you."

"Its okay," said Cal, "you all took care of it."

"No. We did. We all did it together. If you weren't there and I had left him alone, he probably would have freed himself and escaped. We all took care of it."

"I guess we did."

While on the chair, he realised he was at eye level with her neck. He raised one hand and gently traced the marks. She shivered slightly.

"Does that hurt?" asked Az, hastily removing his hand.

"No," said Cal. "It ju- nevermind."

He saw her place the soiled cotton in the bowl and keep it on the table. Something stirred inside him then.

"I really want to kiss you." The words poured out of Az's mouth and he heard the sharp intake of breath from Cal the moment she heard them.

He saw her eyes darting to his lips for a few seconds before going back to his eyes.

She wanted it too. He knew she did. Her eyes said so.

Cal gasped when Az closed the distance between them and placed a finger under her chin. He heard her breathing coming faster.

"I really," said Az, bringing his face closer to hers and smelling her breath. He looked into her eyes which were wide with something he couldn't quite place. "I really want to kiss you, Cal. Do you want me to kiss you?"

If she said no, he would listen. It would hurt him, yes, but he would step back. He would never force himself on anyone.

"Yes," Cal said in a whisper.

That was all he needed.

He gently touched her lips with his, slowly deepening the kiss. He applied slight pressure on her upper lip and he felt her arms going around his neck. He cupped her jaw with one hand, and her hips with the other.

He felt pressure on his lips and he realised that she was standing on her toes for better access.

Without a word, he grabbed her by her hips and lifted her to place her upon the table, bringing her closer to himself so he would have to bend less.

He pressed harder against her lips and she yielded to them, her hands grasping at his neck. She fisted his hair in one hand and yanked gently on them, causing him to let out a groan.

He wanted more. So much more.

He grabbed her hips firmly and yanked her to the edge of the table, positioning himself between her legs. He opened his mouth slightly and traced her lip with the tip of his tongue, gently asking for permission.

She opened her mouth in response, allowing him to invade her mouth with his tongue. He kept kissing her until she moaned slightly, her body melting against his.

He released her mouth then, looking at her. Her face was flushed, her hands still tightly grasping his neck as if not willing to let go.

"You need to breathe, Snowflake," said Az with a chuckle and as if in response, Cal took in a deep breath.

"That was good," said Cal, not looking at his eyes. "You are good."

Cal took another breath before putting her hands on both sides of his face and pulling him closer, kissing him hard on his lips. The force of it took his breath away and he smiled against her mouth.

It took an immense amount of self-control for Az to push away from her.

She whimpered in disappointment and he just smiled at her.

"You need to rest a while, Snowflake," said Az, untangling himself from her. "How about we go out in the evening?"

"Are you asking me out on a date, shadowsinger?" Cal's voice was hoarse.

"Maybe I am. Will you?"

"Yes. I will."

"Good. I will pick you up at six."

As he walked away from her, he knew he was doomed.

She was his mate, and she was mortal. She would probably survive like a few more decades and then he would be alone for the rest of eternity.

He couldn't bed her until she knew the full truth. She deserved to know the full truth. She deserved to know that she was his mate.