What are we?

I took a nap once Cato left, all that left me tired. I'm not sure if he ever came back or not.

The door opens, I was half way hoping it was Cato but Baria came instead.

" Stop sleeping and get up. I need to talk to you."

" Sorry...haven't been sleeping the greatest at night." I mutter. I get up sitting on my bed, " Ok, hit me."

She chuckles, " I honestly could right now."

" Why?" I ask.

" You and the Odairs need to stop fighting... For all our sanities. I know how they both are but I also know you can be the bigger person if you want to be. You've been hanging out with Hadley to much. Your getting those outbursts."

I roll my eyes, yea because it's just that easy." I don't need to yell or fight if they were decent human beings."

" Kay.."

" Baria.."

She takes a breath. " I've known Finnick for years. I know. Do it for me, please."

" What's the problem here ladies?" Cato says walking in. He stands next to me giving Baria a look, " You ok?"

" Yea."

" I'm giving her the talk." Baria says, " Though it didn't get through to her just yet. I'll let you deal with it." And with that she was out again.

I need to write my speech. I get out a pen and paper labeling it 7- Colin and Lilli

" You don't need to prove anything to either of them." Cato sighs sitting on the chair next to me.

" I know, but I also know it's going to bug me if I say something I didn't write."

" Then I guess write one they can't forget. I'll let you focus." He says, walking away.

The rest of the day I was stuck in my room, taking breaks watching tv then repeating with Cato dropping in to give me some food to make sure I eat.

If Baria wanted me to get along with River, we can't associate.

I must've fallen asleep, when I woke up it was 2 AM and Cato was passed out next to me, I've noticed this is where he preferred to sleep.

Every night he was in here, One of us always falling asleep on the other. Though I don't mind, I sleep better when he's by me.

We just..fit. I adjust making him move, his arms found my waist grabbing onto me. He was so warm, so I had no problem sleeping.

Today we get to 7.

I woke up and the dread hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to cry but I won't. I'm doing this for my sake, to put them to rest.

I looked at the clock, 5:01 A.M

There was no point going back to bed, even if I really wanted to I couldn't. I decided to turn on the Tv where the game channel was on.

Though I hate watching or condoning the games, there's tactics to use to help train future tributes or use yourself. They can be interesting to watch.

It was the year of a girl from 10 winning, there was mutt frogs with big tusks all around, that was the main kill.

Cato shifts turning on his back look is at the TV. "That girl is hot."

I hit his chest, but he still laughs. " Ow, really.." he says still half asleep.

" Keep it in your pants Hadley."  I say focusing on the TV.

He sits up," I'll try.. do you see her body da-"

" Shut up." I snap. I really don't want to hear him say that. " Go find her, no one is stopping you." I bluntly say.

" Are you jealous?" He asks, an amused smile on his face.

" What? No." I retort. I look down at my arms pretending to look occupied.

" Your so jealous." He teases, obviously enjoying it.

I stay quiet shaking my head.

" Kayyyyy..." He says leaning to he would look at me but I looked away. " You can't be mad at meeeeee.."

" You make it very easy to be mad at."

He grabs my face making me look at him." Are you actually mad?" He asks.

I take his hand off my face " No, I'm fine."

" 'I'm fine' is never fine. I'm just joking." He says.

" Ok." I shrug looking back at the TV.

" I'd pick you over any girl." He says smirking again.

What does that mean?

" I feel so special." I say sarcastically.

" I would."

" Would you?" I ask.

" Yea. I'd rather have a girl I actually can stand then a girl I'd have for a night."

I chuckle, " You only 'stand' me?"

" Your kinda emotional." He says.

" I'm emotional?! Cato, have you met yourself?" I laugh.

" I'm not even that bad."

" Yes, you are. Your worse then any girl."

" Ok Musak."

I roll my eyes, yea... he's worse then any girl I met.

" Are you ready for today?" He asks.

Mood ruined.

I let out a huge sigh before slumping back into the bed, " Nope, but I just need to get it off my chest."

" Just get it done with, I'll be there with you."

I nod.

" Go take a shower then we can go to eat before they get you ready."

I went to take a shower, letting the hot water run over my body. I can do this. You just need to say goodbye.

I put my head on the wall trying to calm down but it's no use. I get out, the sooner I get ready the sooner we can be done.

I throw on shorts and a tee shirt before we both go down to eat. Everyone was down already.

Everyone said good morning except for River, who was picking at his plate.

He looked nervous, or bothered. But he should, do I think River did care? Maybe. The least he can do is give a personal speech. Just thank them or something.

" Come on everyone we need to get ready!" Neffy says getting up, of course she was having trees drawn all over her.

" Cato, I need to talk to you before we go out." I hear Enobaria say as I was walking away.

I wonder what she could possibly talk to him about. Me?

I go back to the room, soon the stylists barged in throwing me into a pretty emerald dress, doing my makeup in a green Smokey eye, and doing my hair in a slicked back pony.

They turn me around to look in their mirror, I barley recognized myself I looked so old and rich, like a Capitolian.

I walk out and me and River meet eyes, both of us looked scared, I haven't seen their faces since the Capitol.

Now we need to see their family, who lost not just one but two kids. It's one thing if the killer got killed, but I'm very much alive.

I almost feel guilty.

" Both of you guys will do great." Neffy says giving us a warm smile.

I didn't see Cato yet, I was hoping he would be here before we went out on stage.

" We need to be out soon." Enobaria says walking down form the opposite hall. She stops scanning the dress. " I like it."

I smile, " Thank you."

" Come on." River says grabbing my hand.

I look back over for Cato but he wasn't there. River pulled me to the door.

" Ready."

I look over one more time...No Cato.

" Yea..ready." I mumble. He's always here, why isn't he here.

I wanted to ask Baria but River wanted to get this done as soon as I want to.

We opened the doors.

try to look happy.

There was a path, which was quite long with the stage, and a little ways by that there was their family.

River grabbed my hand a little harder glancing at me, our nerves are higher then ever, worse then the games.

I look at him giving a nod, telling him I know, we are going to get through. We didn't wave much just smiling looking ahead.

River offers his hand walking up the stage, this time we walk together.He goes first for his speech which was unusual, he looked like he was about to pass out.

I glance at him, taking his hand giving a warm smile.

" Thanks." He whispers before making his speech. Of course it was one that Tabby made so it honestly wasn't that good. He talked about how good the twins were for the alliance and how he was happy they got us out.

I was looking all around I couldn't focus on one person for to long, and I obviously couldn't look at the family. But by the end of that speech everyone looked like they wanted to kill him.

" You guys killed them!" One of the people in the crowd, must've been a friend.

The guards pulled her away, My nerves rose ten times more when River quickly slid away from the mic.

I took his place, Hearst beating out of my chest.

I still hung onto his hand, he was my only single string of comfort right now. I could feel myself shaking.

Hello

My voice was so shaky

I want to thank you guys for having us here today.

I accidentally looked at the family. All of them had tear stained faces looking at me like I can bring them back.

I felt the bile in my throat.

I just want to say I'm so sorry. I really wished I met in different circumstances.

I wish I could've saved Colin and didn't need to hurt Lilli.... They said together or not at all. I'm just happy they are reunited again.

They were soft claps, telling me it's ok, they appreciate the kind words.

As soon as I was done River helped me off the stage soon we reached the train, River was cursing how they should be thankful he did those words of thanks. It was barely a thanks.

He yelled he's not going tonight, stomping to his room locking the door.

I needed to sit down. I still felt like crap, I just felt void.

Cato didn't show. Why didn't he show? He knew I was so nervous for this and he didn't even bother coming out.

Soon Enobaria and Neffy come with Johanna.

" Well that didn't suck as much as I thought it was." Johanna says. " Thank you."

" No problem. I know how much they meant to you."

" How are you Kay? I haven't seen you since the games." She said.

I sigh, " I'm managing. This pretend thing isn't the best though."

Johanna scoffed, " Oh I've been filled in, if it was me I'd tell them to go to hell."

I smile, " I know you would."

She smiles, " Only have a few left. You'll need to break up sometime." She gave me a half hug, " I'll see you guys, I need to talk to their parents."

I nod, she hugs Enobaria before waking off the train to the crowd. I guess that speech helped.

I wait for Johanna to leave before I talk to Baria. " Where's Cato."

She looks at me deadpan. " I wouldn't bother him right now."

" Why?"

She takes both my shoulders squeezing them, " Just... Trust me on this one."

" Why can't you tell me?" I ask annoyed.

" Because it's something that if Cato wants to tell you, he will. Let him be."

What happened?

" Is he ok?"

" He just needs time. Let himm be Kaylaya. Take a nap be ready for tonight. And leave him alone."

" I will."

She walks away.

I'm going to Cato's room.

Fists I need to get out of this.

I wash off all the heavy makeup. They wanted to do some light makeup for the party tonight so I let them do that before I see Cato.

I guess I'm kinda giving him some space. I walk to his room and there he was laying on his bed. Why is he laying in the pitch dark?

He's worrying me. " It's not night yet, you know." I joke.

He doesn't say anything, he glances at me before looking back at the ceiling.

" Not right now Kaylaya." He says not bothering to look.

" I just wanted to make sure you were ok, you weren't out there, do you need something?"

" Yea, I'm fine. I'll be out when the party goes on I'll meet you in the lounge." He shortly says.

I look at him for a second." Oh, ok. Feel better. If you need something-"

He looks at me before rolling over. " -Lock the door on the way out."

I don't say anything instead I lock his door before walking out. He did not just cut me off.

What is his deal? I don't need that right now either. He didn't even come out to watch the speech, when he knew I needed him. I was trying to make him feel better.

I decided to eat before we went, so I walked down t0 the dining cart. Once I was done I looked out the window seeing if I could see anything.

It was all lit up, it looked pretty. I figured someone would be here soon so I decided to get dressed.

I found a cute black dress and decided to throw that on and let my hair down.

Hopefully he'll like it.

Who cares if he likes it. Stop thinking like a small girl Kaylaya.

I was just touching up my makeup when Cato came in. " You ready? You were supposed to meet me in the lounge." He says again with that attitude again.

What's with the attitude?

" I wasn't ready yet." I spat giving him a look through the mirror which he so saw.

He sighs coming closer to me, he grabs my hand spinning me around slowly. He smiles softly " You look fine."

No comments, no saying he's still winning that no sleeping bet,none. That's very unlike him.

He still was hanging onto my hand as we walked out of the train still. he just seemed so distracted.

" Are you ok?" I blurt.

He glances at me before looking forward. " I will be."

" Well, can I do anything for you?" I ask innocently.

He squeezes my hand, " I just need to be around you Musak. That's what I need. Just show me a fun night."

Contain the butterflies you idiot.

I smile, " Ok."

We reached 7's bar, he ordered us two bourbons on ice, he slammed his in a matter of seconds, then another, and another.

I didn't want to ask anything, he seemed tense. We're here for a good time, I just need to catch up I guess.

Slowly he started smiling, laughing and talking to literally everyone.I guess I need to be the responsible one tonight, who am I kidding? I want to have a fun time to.

" Maybe you should slow down." I watch him slam another drink down clinking the glass on the bar, he's already had to many for the amount of time we were there making me worried.

He wasn't feeling sick, it must be something else.

" I thought Kaylaya liked to drink." He questioned coming closer to me.

" I do."

" I'm pretty sure I'm beating you." He mocks.

" Bring me top shelf." I tell the bartender. He smiles, " That's more like it."

We drank a whole bottle of whatever that was. It tasted like maple, maybe like a moonshine I'm not sure.

I found myself tapping to the music.Cato looks at me with a sloppy grin. " We need to dance."

" I don't dance."

I do, but normally it's kinda dirty.

" Tonight we're dancing." He says.

Before I could protest he takes my hand pulling me off the chair. He spins me around, making me laugh.

The music seemed to surge through me soon after both of us were dancing, me more on Cato. At one point I jumped on his back yelling to the music.

He was laughing, I like his laugh. But he set me down so he could pick me up so he can look up at me.

My legs wrap around his waist still screaming to the music. The music fades out making me look down at him.

He was smiling, not the kind of smile he normally has, more of a love stuck smile. I felt all my emotions run when I look at him, I have it bad for him.

He sets me down," You don't dance my-"

" Shut up Hadley." I chuckle.

He wraps his arms around me pulling me in urgently making me place a hand on his chest." You look spicy tonight." He says in my ear making goosebumps form.

" Spicy?" I question wrapping my arms around his neck.

He nods his head like a little kid which I couldn't help but laugh at.

" And you did a great job on the speech today. I was soooo proud of you as always."

" You didn't even come out to watch." I say softly.

" I watched it on the TV."

" Oh."

" I told you, you did fine. I'm proud..really proud."

" Thanks Cato." I smile.

We danced for a little bit more, the music slowing down. He pulled me closer, we swayed to the music not saying much. We were so close, it made my face heat up a little bit. I ended up laying my head so he wouldn't see it.

I just want to know what's wrong. It's still bugging me.

I lift my head again so close to his as I looked at him, hoping to give him the same eyes he gives me when he wants to know what's wrong. " You'd tell me if something is bothering you..right." I ask.

He blinks slowly. " Yea. Of course I would."

" Well, I'm waiting."

" Not here."

" Then let's go talk about it."

He leans his forehead on mine. I don't think he fully realizes he is." I'm not ruining your night Musak."

" Your ruining it being sad, I want...annoying cocky Cato. My Cato." I whine.

He chuckles, " You miss that?" He asks.

" You get used to it after awhile."

We both smiling looking at each other, this is perfect.

The place, the music, Him.

Should I do it...

" Can I have a dance?"

We both look up to see a girl a tad shorter then me looking at Cato biting her bright red lips.

She had muddy brown eyes which looked like colors sloppily mixed with eachother. Her hair was a dirty blonde color draped on her head.

She looked like trouble.

Cato looks at her up and down. " Sure." He looked at me. " Go save our spots." He gives me a small smile before looking back at her like she was his next meal.

I smile at Cato before giving the girl a nasty glare which she didn't see. I wish she did.

I did as he said, I ordered him and I a drink waiting,I stare at the two intently, she was saying something, Cato smiling like an idiot. She runs her hands all on his body, and him liking it.

He doesn't move her hands away, he smiles still lowering his hands so there right above her butt.

I wait, the song ends. Good he'll come over here now. But he didn't he stayed by her dancing again.

I'm done watching that.

I ask for some shots taking 3 telling the guys to put it on Cato's tab before I got off my stool and left.

Guys tried buying me drinks but first off, I don;t trust them, second I'm not even interested in talking to another guy.

That's so not like me, especially with so much alcohol in my system.

The anger I felt was something I never felt, mixed with sadness and frustration.

It's not like we were 'together' but still it still hurt. He should still know. Friends don't do what we just did, or say what Cato said to me.

Tears threaten to spill but I'm done crying, I'm certainly not crying because of him.

Once I get to the train I go to change before going to the training cart letting my fists fly. I need to get rid of this, I need to get rid of this little girl mentality Cato made.

I imagine that girl, and her stupid face she wasn't even pretty in all honesty just another girl throwing herself at Cato. Just another girl who's so easy, that he gets to add on his long list.

I'm breathless, I start punching the bag before slumping down on the floor, leaning on the wall.

I can't help but laugh, I'm crying over the biggest layer in 2, Kaylaya Musak... If i wanted to I could be just like him..everyone wants me. I just never gave them the time.

I need to get myself together. Seriously.

I go back to my room grabbing a crop sweat shirt and gray sweats throwing them on. I turn on the TV, requesting some hot chocolate which an Avox brought.

I still couldn't help but think about Cato. Does he really like me as a friend or am I someone to talk to until we get back. I wouldn't put it past him, it's not like he was around much when we were back at two.

I feel like we're more then friends...friends don't fall asleep next to each other every night, not to mention the bet.

So am I kidding..he probably broke the bet.

That's probably for the best, I was developing feelings. Adding that to whatever we are would've complicated things.

I heard the door open from the outside to the train, muffled laughs were filling the air. I went to lock my door, he's the last person I want to see right now.

The other person left, which was that slut. Cato is mumbling about something, he stops at my door trying to get in, wiggling the door handle.

I stay quiet.

" Kayyy-lay-aaa" he says knocking on the door. There was silence, " Hellooo" Still I say nothing.

" I know you turn off your Tv when you sleep, open up beautiful." He slurs.

" I think you can sleep in our own room tonight."

" Whyyyy? I want to be by my favorite person in the whole wide worldddd!"

I was getting mad and fast. " Because you have your own bed and you left me sitting there."

" I didn't leave you, you left."

He saw me leave?!

I marched to the door, swinging the door open.

" So you watched me leave and you didn't have the common decency to see if I was ok?"

I was fuming, this guy is stupid. Drunk and stupid.

" I was, I went to go find you. I looked everywhere."

Looked everywhere..yea. Where else would I be? Not venturing around the district that's for sure.

" You didn't know I was gone, you were all over that girl ! And she was all over you I was watching you!" I pushing him away from the door.

He grabs my hands, I try pulling them away but with him its no use.

He pulled me closer, intertwining our fingers "Nothing happened." He says looking intently in my eyes.

I almost believed him, but I could smell her perfume. I heard him. He was all in a mess, like he just got dressed.

He lost our best.

I look at him, I thought I saw something on his neck anger and sadness bubble up.

" Oh, hmmm I think those hickies say something different." Finally getting my hands out from his grip.

I feel tears welling up in my eyes. " Get out of my room."