Friends

I've been sleeping horrible.

Every dream I did Apsen or the games, me killing Aspen to him haunting me, I even had one about all the mutts attacking me.

Leaving me exhausted.

Me and Cato?

He hasn't spoken to me, I haven't spoken to him.

It just bothers me he can cut someone out just like that. I mean, a meaningless hookup sure. But I defended him, I guess he did the same for me multiple times.

But if he's going to be like that, I don't need him.

I ignore him, he does the same.

Everyone noticed though they were smart or cautious enough not to say anything thank goodness. River thought it would be the perfect opportunity to make Cato even more annoyed by flirting with me all the time.

And though Cato isn't talking to me, I know it still bothers him when River does so.

All the districts are considerably far from eachother,  a day to several away from the next, 10 was 3 days away.

    ——————

Run faster!

I hear the shrieking of the mutt behind me, their hooves sounding like thunder behind me.

Just get to the cliff.

I hear a scream, it sounded like Mel.

Keep running!

I see something red from the corner of my eye, I happen to turn to see a bloodied Aspen running at me, a huge hole in his chest.

He knocks me down before disappearing.

I was about to get up when I saw the jaws of the horse Mutt about to close on me..

—————

My eyes shoot open, a scream was just escaping my mouth when I cut it off.

I turn on my lamp frantically, getting some light in my room gave me a little bit relief, just a sliver.

I feel tears run down my face.

It was just another dream Kaylaya.

My breathing was still heavy, like basically gasping for air.

I sit up, leaning on the cold wall. That feels a bit better.

The door bursts open, making me gasp.

Cato looked at me wide eyed. " I heard you scream."

I take a breath, wiping off a stray tear. " Bad dream."

He sighed. " I get them to."

I wrap my blankets a little tighter around me looking away from him, " Sorry if I woke you."

He closes my door, why is he closing my door?

" I was already up. I'm going to work out, if you want to come with?" He suggests.

I look back at him, " Where are you going to work out?"

" There's a cart."

Do I want to? No, but it's better then staying in here.

" I'll be out." I mumble dismissing him.

He turns walking out, I stare at the door for just a second before getting dressed in a matching black set.

I don't bother brushing my hair, I just throw it up walking out to him leaning on the wall.

" Took you long enough."

I don't know if he was being serious or not, I just roll my eyes. " Well are we going or not?" I retort.

He pushes himself off the wall leading the way.

Why is he talking to me all of the sudden? Am I finally good enough for him to interact with again?

He leads me a couple carts down before another door opens to a mini training center it looked like, just without the weapons.

Cato went and did his own thing and I did mine. I scanned the area quickly finding a huge punching bag. Just what I needed.

I wrap my hands putting on a pair of gloves. When I would train with my dad and Mr.Hadley I would be on a punching bag a lot, they said it would 'clear your mind' or ' release tension or anger' which was completely right.

A lot of the time I was stressed, about trying to make them happy, or looking at everyone's life wishing that would be me. It did help, I'd do it until I was even to tired to think.

I did the punching bag more then the training itself. That's how I have such a good punch in my opinion, I can make a 300 pound bag of sand move, your jaw is nothing compared to that.

We went in for a little bit, Cato hasn't said anything since I walked out of my room. Why invite me if your not going to talk to me?

Where I was standing I had a perfect view of him. He was lifting some weights, he has almost all of them on.

He also had a perfect view of me from the mirror he was looking in. Yea, I need to switch.I went on the other side of the bag continuing to punch.

" Move your torso more, you'd have a sharper punch that way." Cato says.

He was behind me, how didn't I hear him? I don't bother acknowledging him, I just do what he says.

He sighs," No..not like that..What did they teach you? Like this." His hands find my hips, as soon as he touches me my body goes into a full panic.

I flinch hard, He pauses, " I'm not going to hurt you Musak." He murmurs, he touches me so softly It's like I could barely feel him.

I felt my heart beat faster. Calm down.

" Ok, now try." He says.

I take a deep breath, refocusing and getting the tension and nervousness out of my system with his touch.

I did what he said, making my puncher quicker and harder then before surprising myself. I straighten looking down at my hands.

That was kinda cool, not going to lie.

He chuckles, " Now if little Odair makes you mad, use that."

I give a faint smile before going back to the punching bag, I did what he taught me, making me more eager to punch..and to punch someone which I hope is soon. A face is more satisfying then a bag.

I knew he was watching me, why now is he talking to me?

It kinda annoys me honestly. Thinking about it makes the punches harder.

Who does he think he is? What? Make sure I'm ok and giving me one little tip is going to get you in my good graces again?

I switch sides, punching harder.

And why is my body acting like this? We'll be in 10 soon enough, I'll need to be..close to River.

All in love.

" Focus, your being sloppy." Cato says sharply.

" Shut up Hadley." I snap looking at him.

I didn't mean to snap like that. Though I feel very irritable.

I need to be alone.

I wipe my face with my arm before taking off the gloves throwing them in the corner. " I'm going back."

I start to walk to the door but Cato beats me to it blocking the way. " You were fine like..3 seconds ago. What's up?" He asks.

His voice grew softer as he looks down at me with those..puppy eyes. Those eyes that will make you tell them every single detail about you.

Those eyes are like a weapon, and he knows exactly how to use them. It makes me infuriated.

I clench my jaw, blinking a couple times. " Nothing." I muttered trying to go around him but he doesn't let me go.

He cocks his head to the side, " You and I both know that's not true."

" Gosh Cato! Can you just leave me alone!" I yell, " Nothing is wrong."

He looks amused and annoyed, " If nothing is wrong Kaylaya, you wouldn't be yelling at me."  He blinks a couple times, His gaze softening " Is it because I touched you? I didn't mean-"

" No Cato, it's not because of that."

" What is it?"

I take a breath, " I need to cool down. I want to be alone.. If you want to help, you'll let me walk out that door and don't follow me."

He clenches his jaw stepping over. " Thanks." I say softly.

I walk a little bit before I hear a loud clang making me jump. What is he doing? Then I hear smashing, sounds like drywall..

Damn it Cato..

I walk quickly back to the cart, when the door opens again he was punching the wall. I see red when he pulls away about to do it again.

" Cato Stop!" I yell running over to the wall.

He doesn't stop, he seems so focused..why isn't he punching the punching bag..why the drywall?

At this rate he's going to break his hand, I don't want him to get hurt. Not because of me.

" Cato!" I yell trying to get him to snap out of whatever it was. I grabbed his hand making him snap out of whatever trance he was in.

He pauses heaving breaths. " Please stop." I beg as soft and calm as possible.

He blinks rapidly, wincing at the hands from the looks and the pain.

"Let me see your hands." I demand. I didn't wait for an answer. I take one at the time feeling for anything odd or fractures.

I'm surprised they weren't broken considering how hard he was hitting, a couple more and they would've been.

He was trying his best not to show pain but he was failing, I know they hurt.

" Do they have a Med cart?" I ask.

He nods, " Ok, let's go there." I gently say.

He shows me to the cart, " Sit." I say bluntly.

Why does he need to be so stupid. There was a punching bag right there.

I rummage through what they had, I find the blue jelly they used for me at the Capitol, I lift it up showing it to Cato. " Got the good stuff."

He smirks though it's mixed with a wince. " Here." I gently grab his hands putting the jelly on. I wrap his hand with bandages make sure they were secure.

" Thanks." He mumbles.

" Your an idiot." I blurt.

" What?" He asks.

" What the hell was that?!"

" Nothing."

" You and me know that's not true."

He gives me an annoyed look, he didn't think I'd use his own words against him.

" How about.. You let me walk and don't follow me." He retorts getting up. I stand in the way like he did. When he does we were so close it made me feel a little uneasy but if I back up he'll go through the door. "Your not leaving."

" Why you did." He snaps.

He's mad because I left.

I shake my head, " Fine, I'll let you leave if you can answer me this.. You got mad because I left? You thought you did something? And instead of being smart and using that brain of yours you decided to punch the wall instead of the punching bag?"

He looks at the wall. " No."

" Then why? You could've just broke both your hands. You don't break them just for fun you idiot."

He stayed quiet.

" I'm not letting you leave until you tell me."

" You didn't tell me what was wrong with you, so why did I need to tell you what's wrong with me?"

He's got a point. You know, if he wants to know I'll tell him.

" You really want to know?" I ask.

" Yea..Hence why I asked." He says dumbly.

I smirk, " Then sit down."

He sits keeping eye contact with me. smart ass.

"Yes I am rather mad at you." I plainly say.

He scoffs," I was just trying to help you."

" That's not why."

He stares waiting for me to answer, " Why then?"

" Why do you just ignore me, then you decide to pretend like nothing happened?" I question.

" I wasn't ignoring you."

" Yea, you were."

" I'm pretty sure it takes two to have a conversation Musak. You weren't talking to me either."

" I'm not going to talk to you, if you don't talk to me."

He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again.

" You know I'm right." I argue.

He shrugs" How are you so certain?" It makes me infuriated.

I throw my hands in the air, " Because! Because.. When it happened, You came in my room after you threatened me with Neffy.. You wanted to help but I didn't let you. You got..upset or something-"

" No I didn't."

" Yea Cato.. You did. I could see it. And when I mentioned we were friends. You internally freaked out."

Cato's face straightens a little.

" Your not a person who has friendships or relationships. When you realized you actually got close you got scared."

Cato stays quiet. I look down at him, " Tell me I'm wrong."

" Your... not to far off."

" I know I'm not far off. One thing you don't do in friendships is totally blow the other person off then pretend like nothing happened." I snap walking out of the cart.

Did I want him to apologize..yes..will he? Maybe not.

Why would being friends scare him, isn't nice having someone to talk to? I think so.

I need to shower, I wasted to much time already.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.

I don't want a repeat of 11, thinking about it makes me cringe.

It won't be like that, they'll have better security.

Soon the stylists were there, they put me in a long well covered up dress, thank goodness.

We did the same thing, get ready, wait for River and go out. Everyone was out there already, I'm always the last one out. I purposely procrastinated, by the time we got there we were parked.

I ignore everyone, going to the door where River was.

He gives me a look.

" Are you ok?" He whipsers.

" Not really."

He takes my hand, " River." I gently pull my hand away. " I can't..the touching."

He looks worried. " We'll need to.. We need to give them what they want."

" I can't."

" You can. Don't let that drunk affect you. He's dead now. I won't hurt you Kay, your safe."

As he talked his hand gently grabbed mine, this time I don't pull away. I just stare, he smiles lightly " I'll keep you safe."

I nod.

" Ok."

Here we go.

We go out, I hold River's arm tightly. I didn't really need to act to much, I was scared someone was going to touch me. He looked protective, good.

I managed to smile, wave, all that stuff. Though my heart was beating out of my chest, I felt River draw some shapes to distract me.

We walk to the stage, I felt lightheaded. I felt myself shaking so bad, I thought I was going to pass out.

I think River did to. His face looked worried, he stayed wrapped around me the whole time as I talked. I felt my weight push on him but he kept me steady.

He didn't move much when he said his speech. At least he can see the touching really affected me. I was starting to feel safer with him.

Maybe we can be friends, or maybe it was just my appreciation talking.

I was still livid at Cato to, so I did something that would bother him as we were walking back, knowing well he would be looking at us. And it would distract me from us walking.

" Thank you." I whisper into River's ear smiling at him, then I plant a small kiss on his cheek.

On the cameras who knows what I said it just sells us more.

Though it's not a bad thing, it makes it look like he cares and we're a couple. People will notice which will be good for our sake.

We board the train, standing there until the train passes a good distance. Me and River let go of eachother.

I felt so shaky and uneasy yet though, so much so I think I was going to throw up.

" That went better then last time." Finnick says popping a sugar cube in his mouth.

River was looking at me, " Are you sure-"

" I need to lay down." I say quickly. It felt like I was going to pass out at any second.

I grab comfy clothes slipping off the dress before washing my face with all the makeup they plaster on me.

I'm feeling a little bit better. I just need to calm my mind, I don't know why it needs to act like this.

When I come back out Cato was opening the door coming in.

I stop, glaring at him " What do you want?"

" Good acting today." He says sitting on the bed. He's not going to start right now.

" Cato, I want to nap get out of my room."

" Not until you answer this Kaylaya." He says using my own phrase against me.

He continues, " You can't stand River yet you were hanging on him. And I mean hanging. Not to mention you kissed him. Why?"

I lean on the wall amused. " I did it because I needed to."

" Bull." He says. " You did it to get back at me."

I shrug. " No. I didn't."

He stands up from my bed, " I'll admit, it worked."

I think I striked a nerve.

" Did it?" I ask smartly.

" Your really testing me Musak."

" Am I?"

He comes closer, I straighten wanting to back up, but the wall was right there. He was so close his breath was fanning my face. It made me feel uneasy I wasn't sure what he wanted to do.

" Fine, you were right. Does that make you happy? What you said before, you were right."

I couldn't speak, all I could do was look at him. It's like I was froze, even if I wanted to I couldn't move.

" I never had a..friend, your annoying ass did grow on me. So no, I don't know how to act, I don't want to mess this up." He shook his head, " But I guess I did, just like how I mess everything up huh." He says the last part to himself.

I do take a step back so I can form a sentence. " You didn't mess up. I just, I was just really shaken up."

He half nods, " And that leads to my next question..." He trails off looking down at my arm before his eyes go to mine again.

What was he going to do.

He takes a step closer, I felt that panic come back again, his finger traces up my arm, making me flinch." Cato-" I pull away looking at him wide eyed.

" I wished I killed that guy myself." He whispers. He takes a step away before his hand clashes with the wall next to me. He leans his head on the wall, " I should've told you to get changed, no I should've walked on the other side of you.."

I stay where I am tears developing, he made me scared of touch. I'm defected or something.

He takes his head off the wall looking at me, All I could do is stand there, Realizing what he did " I didn't mean to scare you." He says rapidly.

" I'm fine I-I just need to sit down."

I go to my bed, " Kay I didn't mean." He was about to pull me back before he stopped himself. " I'll go."

I can't be alone.

I need someone.

I need him.

" No, Cato..Can you stay."

He stops turning to me, " You sure?" He asks.

I nod.

He carefully sits on the bed, making sure he's keeping his distance" I didn't know. I shouldn't have touched you this morning I didn't know and I shouldn't have left you alone-"

" I forgive you Cato."

We sat again in silence though now, I feel damaged.

Now I can't even be touched.

" I think I'm broken." I whisper. He looks at me seeing the tears threatening to spill.

He comes closer," Why do you think that."

" I can't even be touched."

More tears come.

" That doesn't make you broken, your just scared."

I nod. " I really wish I could give you a hug." Cato half jokes.

" A hug would be nice." I say looking at him. He laughs softly coming closer, I want him to hug me. He tries hugging me, wrapping his hands around my bare stomach accidentally making me flinch. He feels it too, he looks at me before rolling on his back, covering his face with his hands letting out a stressed sigh.

" I scared you didn't I? I'm sorry I just got so mad I can't help it-"

" I'm not scared of you."

I glance at him, he was looking up at the ceiling nervously. It was kinda cute. " Cato.."

He turn his head looking at me, I smile, " I'm not scared of you. I'll never be scared of you. And I'm sorry I did that with River, I'll make sure I steer clear of him. I just hate seeing you two fight over me all the time."

"  I'll try to be civil."

He gives me a look, I have no idea how to explain it. I stared back looking at his features, I looked at his eyes, the wrong place to look."

" I think I could help. With the touching."

I sit up, " How?" I ask my heart eating faster.

" turn around."

I do as he says, he sits up to, Cato pulls me closer to him, tracing shapes in my back then names.

" Guess on what I'm writing or drawing, maybe then you'll associate it with something positive again."

Yea, because you so close to be and touching me is making me calm.. great plan.

But, I guess it worked. I needed to guess otherwise he kept redrawing it.

It was like a mind game, after shapes we moved onto words.

He wrote it a couple times, I thought I knew what it was, I asked him to rewrite it to make sure.

Clove.

" Do you ever think of her?"

There was a long silence, I thought he just ignored the question before he finally said something.

" Not as much as I used to." He finally says. " Sorry."

" You don't need to apologize Cato, I cared for my partner too."

I was thinking about her, I really don't have vivid memories of her, 2 is huge you can pass the same person and not know their name.

But we all know the Kentwells, they were owners of the bank. All of them are crazy smart, Clove was the same age as Cato.

She never really hung out with anyone, she trained. A lot. She would wake up, school, and train repeat. She was a natural born killer.

I can see why everyone loved 2 especially last year, They both were lethal. They most likely were to be the final 2, only one can make it out. But it didn't work out like that.

What I do know, Cato and Clove were closer then what they appeared to be.

" I think it helped."

I turn facing him.

" Really?" He asked.

I nodded.

He smiled, " Good..good. I'm happy to help."

" Do you wanna watch Tv?" I ask.

" Love to."

And that's what we did, I tried to yawn quietly. It felt like I could go to sleep at any time, I was so close to Cato, I didn't want to fall asleep on him, or scare him off again accidentally falling asleep on him.

He chuckles, I feel his arm push me into him so I'm laying in his chest. " Sorry I-"

" Shut up and watch the Show Musak." He says.

I adjusted a little bit, putting my leg slightly over his. I could feel him trace shapes in my back again making me even more sleepy.

I fell asleep shortly after, I felt safe with Cato, a sense of absolute calm runs through me when I'm with him.

He makes me feel safe.

I'm beginning to feel like he's my Aspen. And that worried me.

Because I felt more for Aspen then just friends. And that's the exact same feeling I have for Cato.

                    ——-

Everything seemed to go back to normal, Me and Cato were good again we were always together training or watching the sunset or sunrise.

We talked about anything and everything. He's so different then when I first met him. He jokes a lot, always tells me where he's going.

I think his favorite is telling me he hasn't slept with anyone. That he might win the bet.

He always gives me the same hungry look racking down my body and back up before he carries on like nothing happened.

I don't know what to feel when he does that.

And I can't decide whether I like it or not

9.......8........

At 8, River completely smacked my ass. Then proceeded to kiss me down my neck. NOT what I expected him to do.

We just boarded up to go to 7, " You could've told me you were going to do that!" I yell at River.

" We just agreed to wing it! Kissing won't do it, they need more!" He yells half laughing. He enjoyed my reaction.

" Sliding your hands down my back to my butt is not one of them! Let alone smacking it!" I yell getting closer in his face, absolutely steaming.

" That guy was looking at you!" He retorts.

I scoff in disbelief, " Yea, and? We're maybe in a district for what? Half hour? And I'm glued to you the WHOLE TIME! IF they want to look, let them look! Not who I'm interested in."

River shrugs " Then who are you interested in?" He gives me his annoying smirk.

I grab River collar pushing him as hard as I could on the wall making a loud thud, a picture falling. He looks at me then at my lips smiling even more, I've had it. I was just about to punch him when Cato picked me up.

" I'll be taking her." He has grabbing me, taking me to my room to calm down, Finnick grabs River telling him something but he ends up chuckling at the end of it.

" I can walk Cato!" I yell.

" I know, but you'd run back."

I hit his back trying to get him to let go.

Cato opens my door setting me on the bed. " You need to calm down." He says though it sounds more like a demand.

" No that idiot touched me again! This is what? The third time." I yell back.

" Kaylaya." Cato says more stern stepping towards me. That's what he does. He's learned if he touches me, it calms me.

Since the whole thing with 11 he's the only one it seems that can calm me down. And he uses it. A lot.

More it seems as me and River's relationship progresses.

I thought I could maybe be friends with River, but I've just found out he's an arrogant prick.

I take a step back. He's not doing that right now. "No! I'm so sick of this! He's just so- UGH!" I scream. I throw a book smashing it into the wall. "He's such a-"

Cato puts his hand over my mouth pushing me in the wall. " Shut. UP." He says giving me a death glare. " I don't want anyone else coming in here, you don't either so I recommend you be quiet."

I glare at him, we both stare at each other for what seems like forever. " You done?" He asked.

No. But I want this hand off my mouth.

I bit his hand in response. " Ow! You-" He stops himself, taking in a big breath. " Go take a cold shower and calm down Musak."

I push through Cato grabbing clothes on the way to the bathroom, leaving an angry Cato waiting for me when I come back out.

Honestly. I'm sick of everyone.

It would be a little better if we didn't have to do this whole love thing. Me and River can't get along, I try but his comments or his actions.

It's tiring.

I could care less about these stupid people, looking all hateful their kids aren't on the stage, wishing us dead.

You know, maybe they should've trained a little harder, don't blame us for the skills we learned.

And I came to a shocking realization.

I think I have a crush. Yea I know.. It sounds so stupid.

Hadley got through to me, if he puts his mind to something he can achieve it. It's annoying, he got me to like him.

But I know he doesn't do relationships. He's just getting good at this friend thing, though we aren't normal friends.

I don't know how to explain it.. Friends but Cato flirting with you 24/7. I don't know if he likes me, or just wants to sleep with me.

It's just complicated, and that bugs me. I like order and clarity. This tour is everything but orderly.

Next is 7.

Johanna's and the twins district.

It's one thing to say a speech about a kid your barely saw or paid attention to in the games, it's another to know who it was.

And be there when they got killed..or killed them.

Am I sad? No.

I guess we were friends..kinda. Though it was short lived. But they were allies, so I did feel some pressure to say something decent.

Not just for me, but I know Enobaria and Johanna are good friends, an early break in the alliance maybe took effect to their friendship.

So yea, I've been a little tense.

I get out of the shower throwing on the tank and sweatpants going back into my room.

" Do you want to go eat?" Cato says clicking through the channels.

" No, not really." I say flopping on the bed.

Cato looks at me with a worried expression. " You haven't been eating much."

" I haven't been hungry."

Honestly I've been to distracted to eat. If I'm hungry I'll eat. I think the stress and emotions have been taking affect on my appetite.

Cato turns wrapping his arms around me so I couldn't move. One hand goes on my stomach and of course it starts rumbling.

" We're going to eat." He says getting up.

He pulls me up, refusing to let go of my hand. He leads me right up to my chair and lucky enough River and Finnick are there eating.

" Look at these two. I guess you really are together all the time." Finnick says with a tight lined smirk.

" We were hungry Odair, shut up before I take this knife he shove it down your throat." Cato mumbles, giving him a evil glare.

They both shut up eating their food. Cato makes sure I eat almost as much as him, once the first bites hit my mouth I couldn't stop.

Cato had a small smile of triumph on his face, looking down so no one would see.

" When we get to 7 we'll be staying for the lumber fest." Finnick says putting more turkey on his plate.

" Is that after the speeches?" I ask.

" Yep. We go back on the train for a little bit then come back out and party it up and pretend you didn't kill your allies."

My face straightens " I only killed one. No doubt you would've done the same, plus she came at me first. Did she really expect to overpower me."

" True. But you still did it." River says stuffing food in his mouth giving me a small smirk.

I shift in my seat, " What are you writing? You were with them more then I was."

River shrugs, " Whatever Tabby writes for me."

I look at him blinking a couple times in disbelief.

" What?" He asks.

" Your not even going to say anything? They were your friends." I question. He seemed close with them.

River sighs playing with his food, " They were my allies."

I sneer at him" Yea, they helped your sorry ass. Without them you wouldn't be here."

He rolls his eyes, " I would've managed."

" With their help."

River looks taken aback before he clears his throat, "I'm here aren't I? They aren't."

" Because you were a sucky ally. I don't think once you actually helped them."

" You really act like you were the best ally don't you. You killed Lilli."

" I killed the mutt for you guys. But I guess I should've let it kill you."

He smiles, " I'm glad you didn't. Someone needed to kill your boyfriend."

Cato put his hand around my waist so I couldn't lunge at him. He wants a reaction. Don't give one to him.

Finnick was watching the two of us very carefully. Probably thinking we're both going to get at him.

He's lucky Cato is deciding to be mature for once. And what's stoping me is him hanging on to me. It makes me freeze, and even if I wanted to get at River no way I'd get out of Cato's hold.

Cato stands getting me up as well. " Keep your brother in check Finnick." He says so coldly. I don't think I've ever heard Cato say Finnick's name.

I storm down the hall, Cato was right on my trail. I open my door, finding the first thing I see, throwing it on the wall, then another, then another. I have a temper, but it rarely shows. I could count the very few times I've lost it, this being one of them.

Cato opens the door sitting on one of the chairs watching me. I feel so trapped I can't do anything.

River just said it to be a dick..again.

He was mad because he won out of luck. ME and Aspen? We played the game perfectly, we had the sponsors, we had everything.

Most of all, he's still hurt I never liked him. A girl played an Odair, it's comedic really.

Still I feel that anger. I see the wall and start punching it, finally, something I can decently take my frustration out on.

Cato sits there watching, unlike him I have some self control, once my knuckles hurt I'm done. I lean my head on the cool wall and that's when I lost it.

Cato finally gets up walking over to me, " Don't cry over what he said. It wasn't your fault."

You know, it feels like everyone has said that to me. It doesn't make it any less wrong.

" I'm so sick of crying and feeling like this." I whimper. It feels like everything is falling apart.

" Feeling like what?" He asks.

" Like.. I don't know. Tired, guilty, stressed."

" What are you stressed about?"

I take a breath, there comes that calming feeling again. " Making a speech. We weren't friends but I still knew them."

" Was this the thing that was bothering you this whole time?" He asks.

I nod my head trying to take deep breaths.

" 1 weren't the best allies, but they were still friends I guess. They helped you live. It can be hard trying to say a goodbye. But 7 wanted to win together or not at all remember?"

I'm glad Cato was here, he's actually a good mentor when he wants to be, I nod, " Thanks."

He gives me a nudge, " Anytime. I need to go talk to Baria, she has to talk to me, you'll be good here?"

" Should be."

" K, I'll be back soon."