Chapter 129

“Lucy, watch this” Conor smiles widely as he jumps over a street bollard outside the cinema. I give him an un-amused look as I send a text to Jack telling him I’m waiting outside.

We’ve been waiting for about 10 minutes now and I’m beginning to think this is pretty pointless. The film ends in about another hour and I don’t even think I can stay with Conor for that long. The only thing lighting up the street are the lamp posts and this leather jacket isn’t keeping me too warm.

“What’s up?” he asks me for like the fifth time tonight.

“Nothing” I sigh, looking away from him.

“I’m sorry about getting us kicked out” he shrugs, sitting down next to me on a small wall outside the cinema.

“Yeah, it’s fine” I nod, shuffling away from him slightly. Surprisingly, I’m not too bothered about being kicked out. What he did was pretty funny and I’m sure I can watch the film online. It might be illegal but hey ho.

“Watch this” he smirks, jumping over another bollard. I sigh in slight frustration. I think I’m going to just walk home. As soon as everyone gets out of the cinema they’re only going to go home so there’s not much point in me waiting here, slowly being tortured by Conor.

I stand up from where I’m stood and start to walk down the street. I’ll call Jack when the film ends.

“Hey, where are you going?” Conor frowns, catching up with me.

“Home”

“What about the rest of the group?”

“They’re only going to go home when they come out so what’s the point waiting? You’re slowly doing my head in so I’m just torturing myself by staying here” I shrug.

“Aw thank you” he says sarcastically.

“You’re welcome”

He continues to walk with me down the street. I thought me walking away from the cinema would mean walking away from him but clearly not.

“Why are you following me?” I ask monotonously.

“You can’t walk on your own” he shrugs.

“Yes I can” I frown. “That was kind of what I was expecting”

“Well now you have some company” he smiles.

“Great”

“Watch this” he says again, doing some sort of dance down the street. What the hell has he taken?

“Conor? If I throw a stick, will you leave?” I raise an eyebrow but rather than being offended, he just smirks.

“And leave you to get eaten by all the zombies that come out at night?” he frowns. “Don’t worry, if there are any zombies, we just have to stick together because groups are everything in an apocalypse. We’d probably have to grab some form of weapon which we would have to steal from one of these shops but-“

“You have a zombie plan?” I frown in confusion. He sounds like he’s planned this down to a T.

“Every man has a zombie plan” he shrugs as if it’s normal. Mind you, Eleanor and I always go through a few plans if there ever is a zombie apocalypse so I won’t judge him.

“Well zombies are looking for brains so you’re safe” I smirk, making him roll his head back in laughter.

“So how’s life?” he asks.

“Good” I shrug. It’s pretty shit to be honest. Eleanor’s gone home, exams are two months away so I’m none stop revising. Life’s gone pretty downhill since Conor and I broke up but I don’t need to tell him that.

“What’s wrong?” he frowns, genuinely worried.

“Nothing” I sigh. “There’s just nothing to be happy about to be honest”

I can’t believe I actually said that to him. Force of habit I guess from when we were together.

“Yeah, I know what you mean” he nods. “Just got to think positive. In less than three months we’d have left school and summer will have started. Life’s shit now but think about the future”

That’s actually pretty good advice.

“Yeah, I guess” I frown, surprised at his amazing advice.

“I’m not just a pretty face” he winks, making me chuckle. He had to ruin the moment. “There’s something I want to say actually”

“Wouldn’t you rather yell it at a screen?” I tease.

He chuckles, “Back there at the cinema, you kind of stood up for me. I guess I somewhat appreciate that”

“Well, you’re somewhat welcome” I smirk. That boy needed to learn a lesson.

“And I’m sorry for everything I’ve done in the past few months” he blurts out.

I sigh, “Conor-“

“I’ve never really had the chance to explain myself and I thought seeing as I’ve apologised to the group, you of all people deserve the biggest apology” he explains.

“Well it doesn’t really matter now. Like you said, we leave school in less than three months” I shrug. What I said was the exact opposite of what I’m thinking and by the look of Conor’s face, he’s taken back by what I just said.

“You don’t mean that” he frowns. I just choose to stay quiet. “Come on, whilst we’re alone, let’s just talk about this”

“What’s there to talk about?” I groan. I don’t exactly want this conversation but it’s all I’ve been hoping for since we broke up.

“Everything” he shrugs.

“Why did you do it?” I frown. “Why did you break up with me?”

“I don’t know, Lucy” he sighs. “I honestly don’t know”

“Well there must be some reason” I frown, slightly annoyed at his response.

“I guess I just got caught up with everything to do with Zac. I wasn’t thinking”

“That’s not a good enough reason”

“I know it’s not. Nothing will be because it was such a big mistake” he huffs. “I was drifting away from you for ages and I know it was because I was with Zac. I told him about it and he just told me to end it. We joked about it at first but when you came into the club that night, it all just came... real?”

“You joked about breaking up with me?” I frown. What the hell?

“No, it was just in general” he shakes his head. That doesn’t make any sense but I just decide to drop the topic, knowing he probably didn’t mean to be harsh.

“Ok”

“Look, everything that happened with Zac was just a mistake. I messed you about so much and I regret it more than anything. I argued with Jack every day, my Mum looked like she hated me, the whole group hated me. The only ‘friends’ I actually had was Zac, Adrian and Leo and I brought it on myself. Alex would talk to me every now and then but it was never good enough I guess” he sighs.

“Yeah well you can’t exactly blame anyone else”

“I know” he nods. “Which is why I don’t speak to Zac anymore. He’s a bad influence”

“You don’t talk to him now?” I frown. Is Zac still unconscious or something?

“I went to visit him in hospital the other day and talked to him about it. I don’t want to hang around with someone like that” he scoffs.

“Oh” I raise my eyebrows. I’m actually shocked. I didn’t think this would happen.

“You seem surprised” he chuckles. Yeah, I am. “Lucy, I’m so sorry”

“You can’t just expect me to forgive you straight away after everything you’ve put me through, Conor” I sigh in frustration. As much as I want us to be back to how we used to be, I can’t just let him walk all over me. I think I just need to let go now.

“I know, I know” he nods.

“I don’t think you realise how upset I actually was about all this. We’ve broken up before but it was over something stupid which is why we forgave each other so easily but you took this too far. You said I wasn’t your type after you used to tell me you loved me and everything. Do you know how used I felt because of that?” I frown, making Conor’s face drop. “You lead me on and embarrassed me when you were with Zac. You just broke up with me as if we were only in a relationship for a couple of days. I felt like such a mug”

“I’m sorry” he practically whispers and it’s only now I realise that we’ve stopped walking and are just stood on an empty street airing out our problems.

“Sometimes sorry isn’t good enough, Conor” I shake my head. “I was so upset since the day we broke up and I still haven’t gotten over it. I felt like I had no one because no one understood what I was going through. Eleanor kept giving me advice and stuff but everything else was just, ‘oh you just need to move on’ and ‘he wasn’t worth it’. Nothing was ever enough to actually make me get over you”

“Well then we can start again. You don’t need to get over me, Luce” he shakes his head. I haven’t heard him call me that for months and even now it’s boosted my mood by about 1%.

“I do, Conor. It’s time I just let go and move on. Hanging onto whatever we don’t have anymore is pointless. I can’t just let you walk all over me and then as soon as you apologise, I just take you back”

“I know, just give me one more chance”

“I haven’t heard that before” I scoff. “I think it’s just best if we move on now. What we had wouldn’t work”

“What are you talking about? Lucy, we went on holiday together. We went to London, we spent Christmas together. We’d build fucking forts together and watch horror films with Jack every fucking weekend. I’d climb into your room when you were on your own just to give you some company. I’d take the day off school if you were ill just so you have someone there with you. What do you mean, ‘we wouldn’t work’?” he rants, letting out a huge breath. Saying all that’s given me butterflies just thinking about all the good times we had.

“I just don’t think I can give you another chance and let you mess me about again” I sigh.

“I wouldn’t ever mess you about again. Not after the hell I’ve put us both through in these past months. You think I haven’t had it bad too? You think you’re the only one that suffered through all this?”

“No, but you’re the one that made it all happen and could’ve stopped it before it got too late” I snap.

“It’s still not too late. I know you want us back to how we used to be” he frowns in confusion. I do want to give us another go so badly but I don’t think I can put myself through it one more time. These past couple of months have been literal hell.

“You treated me like shit when you started hanging around with Zac” I lower my voice.

“I’m not hanging around with him anymore though, Lucy!” he runs his fingers through his hair. “Do you still love me?”

“Yeah” I nod confidently. Of course I do.

“I love you too, so I don’t see what the problem is” he sighs, taking my hand in his and looking at my wrist. “You’re still wearing it”

“What?” I frown in confusion, looking down at my wrist to see the Pandora bracelet there. I quickly take my hand out of his and cover it with my jacket in slight embarrassment. I haven’t stopped wearing it.

“See, you’re still holding on so why don’t you just give me another chance?” he pleads, making me genuinely think about this.

I want nothing more than for us to get back together but how can I forget what he put me through? How much of a mug would I be if I actually just forgave him after everything?

“How can I forget what’s happened?” I practically whisper, tears brimming my eyes. I am getting emotional about this but it’s also about -90° out here, making my eyes flood and my nose run. Maybe -90° is a slight exaggeration.

“I’m not saying you can. I’m just asking for one more chance. You don’t have to forget what’s happened but I want to show you how much I’ve changed, and make you realise that all that happened will never ever happen again” he sighs, placing his hand on my cheek. How is he so warm in this weather? I feel like a piece of ice but his hand instantly heats up my cheek.

“I don’t know” I sigh, blinking back a tear.

“Why stay mad at someone when you both love each other and you can just forgive and forget?” he smirks slightly, quoting some TV show I once forced him to watch. How the hell had he remembered that?

“There’s only so much I can take” I sigh again.

“This time, our relationship will be better”

“How can it be?”

“Well sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. Maybe it’s time they get better now” he frowns but I stay silent, not knowing what to say. “Let me take you on a date”

“A date?” I frown in confusion.

“Yeah, those things in films where two people spend time together in hope of a future relationship” he says, making me chuckle slightly. “One date and if you still feel the same, then we’ll just drop it. Yeah?”

“I don’t know”

“Come on, what have you got to lose? You get a free night out and I get to prove to you that I’ve changed. I’ll even let you pick the destination”

“I want you to surprise me” I smirk and his face almost drops.

“Does that mean you’re giving me a chance?” he gasps.

“One chance, Maynard” I roll my eyes. What have I got to lose?

“Oh my god” he smiles widely, pulling me in for a hug. “Thank you”

I don’t respond, I just wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy the moment whilst it lasts.

“Be ready for half seven tomorrow”

“Tomorrow? Isn’t that too soon?” I frown in confusion, pulling away from the hug.

“Why wait?” he shrugs.

“Alright, Maynard. It’s a date” I smirk, making his smile grow instantly.

I’m looking forward to this date to be honest and I’m glad we’ve just had that little heart to heart. If I still think things can’t work out after the date, then at least we would’ve had a good night... I hope. And we can still be friends, right?