Chapter Thirteen

I pull away and glance over Elliot's shoulder. Fin is standing there.

Fin has enough emotion for all three of us. Nobody else on the squad except Cragen knew Elliot was alive. They were all left with the fact Elliot was dead and Kathy killed herself and I was in charge of the kids.

"Liv, you know you're making out with a dead man, right?" he asks, obviously shocked.

"But I'm not," I reply quietly. I feel my cheeks growing hot.

Fin walks in a little more and says, "Elliot fuckin' Stabler. The hell happened?"

"I got shot, lost so much blood my kidneys failed, Liv gave me hers, I was put in Witness Protection, my wife killed herself, Liv got parental rights, and now we're here. Did I forget anything?"

"Your location is compromised and he stopped here before he's on his way to...where?" I ask.

"Maine."

Maine. That's even farther than Pennsylvania. I feel hear behind my eyes by will it away.

"Damn," Fin says. "Well, it's good to see you're not dead."

"Feels good, man," Elliot replies. They do that man-hug thing which always looks painful to me.

They let go of each other and Fin starts to walk out. But he turns back around before completely exiting. "Oh, and it's about damn time for you two."

I feel my cheeks grow hot again.

We all go back downstairs and Elliot and John have the same interaction he did with Fin.

Happy reunion. Very happy.

Quickly enough, Casey rushes into the precinct. She sees Elliot first.

"What the fuck?" is her reaction. Then she says, "Witness Protection?"

"Yeah," Elliot replies, laughing.

"Those bastards."

I smirk at her cursing. Casey isn't one to do that so much.

"Anyways," she continues, "I got the warrants for the apartment."

"Warrant?"

"Oh yeah, the DNA was a match and we picked up Marcos again," Fin calls from his desk.

"You didn't tell me this, why?" I ask.

"You were busy," Fin tells me with a smirk.

I roll my eyes, hoping my blush isn't coming back on.

"Busy...with what?" Casey asks. With one look from Elliot to me, she smiles. "Well, finally!"

"I still don't get what's going on?" Cragen says.

"Me either," John chimes in.

Fin rolls his eyes. "They're a thing now John! Damn, keep up!"

"You sound like a teenage girl," Elliot says.

Cragen, smiling, says, "That means, as of now, Elliot Stabler is alive and free."

I don't know if we've ever group hugged, but we do now.

"I'm gonna go arraign a bastard," Casey announces, running off, leaving the warrants.

"We'll go put these to use," Fin says, picking up the papers. John follows.

"And I'll...do what?" I ask Cragen.

"You all will go back to Liv's apartment. All of you."

"Seven people in one apartment?"

"You got 6 that first night. I doubt 7 will be a problem."

I smile and follow my boss's orders.

We all go to the little - well, little for seven people - apartment I call home. And so have three others for the past year.

I let the entire family talk and regroup, watching them smile and cry and laugh. I hang back, not wanting to disturb them.

I go to the fridge to get a bottle of water. When I stand straight, Elliot is on the other side of the island, making me jump.

"I think you can celebrate with a little more than water," he smirks.

I shake my head, taking a breath. "I'm not in the mood for drinking right now."

"Why?"

"Tired."

"Come on, Liv. Relax. It's all fine now."

I nod, but I won't meet his gaze.

"Liv, what's going on?"

Honestly? "I don't know," I admit.

"Come on. The kids want to talk with you."

"They've had enough of me. El, it's fine. Go with them. I'll help move their stuff to the girls' apartment tomorrow morning and then help you guys get another apartment or house."

"That's it? That's all you plan on doing?"

"I told them I promised I'd make sure everything is okay and they'd get their father back. Doing that meets my qualifications. And I'll be okay with it."

"I won't."

I look up, not sure what to think. "What?"

"You saved my family, Liv. I need you in it now. You are, actually. Whether you like it or not."

I shake my head, so confused. He comes closer.

"You're in this family now. You can't just back out."

"I'm pretty good at that, Elliot," I say, just barely above a whisper.

"I won't let you," he says.

I know he won't, but I can't just invade. I'm not good enough to be in a family. I never had one, I never could. So, yeah, I should know. Being alone is all I know. All I'm comfortable with.

"At least pretend you aren't upset tonight. The kids still need you."

I just shake my head, but follow him anyways. He sits me on the couch, me next to him. So close I'm nearly on his lap. Oddly, I'm okay with it.

We watch TV and catch up Elliot on everything he missed. Mostly it's the kids telling him stupid things I did or said. When Eli gets fussy, I give him to Elliot.

"Remember how to do it?" I joke.

"I did do it with all of them before, remember? Etched in stone."

I roll my eyes. "Mhm."

Ten minutes later, I can still hear Eli crying, when it only takes five minutes on a bad night to put him down. I get up and make my way to my bedroom, where Eli has slept since the beginning of me as his guardian.

"Daddy lost his charm, huh?" I ask in a baby-ish tone, taking Eli from Elliot's arms.

I lie him on his back, on my right arm, rubbing his cheek with the fingers on my left hand. I bounce lightly and hum, just loud enough for the baby to hear. I walk in circles, which confuses Elliot, but I don't have the island to walk around tonight. Soon enough, he's asleep, and in his crib. When I'm done lying him down, I turn around, my hands holding the edge of the crib.

I give Elliot a smug look. "How long did that take, now?"

"He's used to you," Elliot says with a shrug. "He'll grow on me."

"You jealous?" I ask.

"What? No!"

"Mmmhm," I respond sarcastically.

It does bother him. It actually kind of makes me feel bad.

"Hey, El," I say. "He's still your son. He'll fall asleep on you soon enough."

That night, all of the kids fall asleep on the couch and/or on the floor by the couch. Instead of waking them up, I tell Elliot to go to bed.

"That's so mean," Elliot says.

"It'll teach them not to fall asleep on the couch."

Elliot laughs. God, I haven't seen him laugh in so long.

"Well, I'll let you get some sleep, Liv."

"Oh, please, I don't sleep," I tell him.

"Bullshit I have to violently shake you to get you to even react if you're in the cribs."

"That only happens when I'm nearly dead from exhaustion."

"Well still. Go try to get some sleep, okay?"

"Well Eli's in my room. Go sleep in there."

"Liv, that's-"

"Just do it, okay? I don't feel like waking up to him crying again. Plus, you seem to need the practice..." I smirk.

"Alright fine. I'll still wake your sorry ass up, though."

I smile and go to the guest room.

After 45 minutes of not being able to sleep, as usual, I get up. I never did like sleeping in here, so I leave the room and head back to mine.

I turn the knob all the way, then push the door open to its silent. I do the same in reverse when I close the door. My feet take me over to Eli, which was my comfort spot for the past year. All I have to do is watch him sleep.

"He's fine, Liv," I hear. It makes me jump.

"Jesus Elliot, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Well, when I see the doorknob move I was scared myself. What did you come in here for?"

I honestly don't know. I just needed to calm down. Something won't let me relax.

But you was relaxed when you was with Elliot all day today... I think to myself.

Maybe that's why I came in here.

I make my way over to my bed and Elliot shifts the blankets, as if reading my mind. I climb in next to him and he lets the blankets fall around us.

Is this really happening? Did I really just fall for my partner? My work partner?

He isn't anymore...

And you fell for him a long time ago, you dipshit.

My head rest easily on his chest and he holds me. It feels so easy. Too easy.

"Go to sleep, Liv. You aren't missing anything."

I nod against his chest and let sleep wash over me.