Chapter Eight

"We'll be there before she is. Watch Eli for me, please," I say before ending my call.

"What's going on?" Dickie asks.

I start driving the streets, my foot putting just a bit more pressure on the gas.

"I know where your sister is."

I drive quickly, though I know Lizzie is going to get there before we do no matter what.

After a painfully long drive, I finally find the house I haven't been to in over a year.

Dickie is ready to run but I don't allow it. I keep my hand on his shoulder as we walk up to the front door. My ringer reaches out and rings the bell. When it opens, I forget everything I was thinking.

Last time I saw this man he called me a bitch. It's not like it isn't true, but it hurt.

"Where's Lizzie?!" Dickie exclaims, cutting off my thoughts.

"Inside?"

We both push past him to find the blonde teenager in the kitchen. When she turns her head, she drops her water bottle.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask loudly.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" she asks in the same tone.

"You first."

Suddenly, she broke down crying.

"I-I just wanted t-to see my dad. Okay? Is that too much to ask?"

Without even picking up her water, she walks past me and Dickie and even Elliot, running straight for another part of the house.

"She just showed up. I was-"

"Bullshit, Elliot!" I interrupt. She was at the border before I was even on my way. She's been here nearly an hour!"

"Well how come you're keeping me from them, huh?"

I push Dickie behind me on instinct. "I told them they can call you and talk to you whenever they want! It's not safe for them to be coming down here!" I exclaim.

"I've missed a year of their lives! That's-"

"You missed a lot more on the job, don't give me that!"

His eyes grew cold. I can tell I'm in for it. He goes in to full-on Stabler rage.

"Dickie, go find your sister," I whisper. He does just as Elliot explodes.

"THOSE ARE MY KIDS, OLIVIA. MY. KIDS. NOT YOURS. STOP PLAYING PARENT, BECAUSE IT'S RIDICULOUS."

I feel hurt deep in my chest but ignore it. "Then pick up the phone and call them sometime, alright? I'm supposed to be working on a lead for the man who tried to kill you. He struck again! And now I'm here, hoping to god the squad can carry on with a baby in the precinct!!"

I see the anger lines in his face start to smooth out a little. "Liv, I-"

Now it's my turn to be pissed. "DON'T CALL ME THAT. YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME THAT. YOU WANNA ATTACK ME FOR PROTECTING YOUR KIDS, THEN GO FUCK YOURSELF."

I could tell I had managed to hurt him a little and that was my goal.

I stomp towards the stairs where Dickie ran to. "YOU TWO, WE'RE LEAVING," I yell.

Dickie emerges but his sister doesn't.

"Where's Lizzie?"

"She's not getting up."

I walk up the stairs and go into the bedroom Lizzie is lying down in. She's on her side, facing away from me.

"Liz, I know you probably hate me right now. And I get if you don't want to come with me. But we have to. The faster I get back, the faster I catch a bastard and the faster your father can come home. I'm doing this all for you guys but you have to help me."

"I'm not leaving," she mutters.

"Lizzie," I hear Dickie say behind me. I get up and let her brother do the talking. She always listened to him, anyways.

We swap places and Dickie touches his sister's shoulder. She sprang up at his touch, showing just how upset she was. Tears left residue on her cheeks in a straight line under either eye.

Just like any defiant teenage girl, she sits and crosses her arms. "I'm not leaving."

"Why do you want?" Dickie asks. "Money? Power? To slap me across the face?"

I smirk but Lizzie doesn't find it funny. I feel Elliot's presence behind me, and, all of a sudden, the joke isn't funny to me either.

"You two stop hating each other," Lizzie says. It sounds more like an order than a request.

"What do you mean?" I ask, realizing what we both had just done to these kids.

"I'm not leaving until you two make up."

"We aren't-"

"Bullshit, Dad! You don't think we hear the 'it's ridiculous' or the 'go fuck yourself'?"

"Thing are just-"

"No! You two fucking hate each other's guts right now and that's not the way it's supposed to be!"

"How is it supposed to be then?" Elliot asks.

"As if you don't know the answer to that," Dickie mumbles. God damn, of course he'd agree with his sister.

"How is it-"

"Dad," Dickie interrupts. "You two are supposed to be as close to in love as possible with Mom in the way. That's the way it always was. We were all- wait. No, we are all okay with it. Come on, Liz."

The twins stand up in agreement and push between me and Elliot.

That leaves us to stand in awe at what they just told us. In love? With Kathy in the way? Who the hell else thought it was okay for us to be in love? Dickie and Lizzie. Apparently.

I look up at Elliot and he looks down at me. I can tell he's equally confused. "What the hell?" he asks, to the air, not as much to me.

"Who else thinks that?" I ask, needing now to figure this out.

"I hope nobody."

"Agreed."

"You're doing okay, you know," Elliot says.

"But I'm not playing parent very well, as you can tell."

"Anyone in your position would've lost the kids to ACS by now."

"That's only because they know me. They could've gone to Cragen or their grandparents or even Munch and been way better off."

"Munch? With kids?"

"He loved the twins! Kathy even said they were his favorite from the five."

"I wouldn't trust him with Eli for shit though."

"Shouldn't trust me either," I mutter. "I'm gonna go get them ready."

I turn to leave, but I feel a strong grip taken on my wrist. My eyes flick up to Elliot.

"We're not leaving it like this," he says.

"What do you mean?"

"You know I never liked fighting with you."

"We never had anything to fight over."

"So you want to hate each other?" he asks.

But no. I don't. The longest relationship I ever had is right here.

I shake my arm loose and stare up at him awkwardly.

Neither of us are ones to apologize so we don't. We just stand there until things are sufficiently awkward and then he follows me down the stairs.

"Alright, let's go," I say, grabbing my own coat.

They both look at me and roll their eyes. They truly are twins.

"Unconvincing but I guess we have to take it," Dickie murmurs.

It's time for me to roll my eyes now.

"I'll be right out," I call after the twins, closing the front door as they make their way to my car.

I turn back to Elliot, still confused on Lizzie and Dickie's opinions.

"Looks like you have some scumbags to go catch."

I nod and shrug. "You should be catching him. He-"

"Badass Benson is backing down from a case?" he asks incredulously, earning my laughter.

"Not anymore."

Another couple of awkward sentences before I say, "Well they're waiting. I'm gonna go."

I turn around but do a second 180 back as he pulls be back. He pulls me all the way to his embrace.

"You're doing alright."

I shake my head in his chest. "But I'm not. They hate me."

"They do not hate you. Dickie's been backing your play all night."

"For his sister," I say, not quite ready to pull away. His arms are bringing a comfort I didn't know could.

"He would've gone out by himself if he wanted to. He would've called one of his sisters and lied that he had to be somewhere."

"Fine. Whatever. Still. They hate living the way they are and I can't say I blame them."

"Why?"

"Cuz I don't even want to be living like that anymore."

I feel his fingers craze my jaw, causing my eyes to shift up.

"No one else could do this better, Liv. And they don't want to go anywhere else. They were able to stay where they were and not switch up schools or anything. And they love you."

I start protesting, but he won't let it happen.

"Trust me, all Lizzie told me was she missed me. She just needed to see me once."

"I don't believe that."

"Well it's true."

I let him pull me back to the comfort of his hug. I stay there for a few more moments, guiltily letting my emotions roll into him.

"It's almost over, Liv. Soon enough I'll be back to be a pain in the ass."

I laugh through the tears forming in my eyes. "That all relies on me."

"Relies on the squad. And you guys are close."

I nod and look up at him again. He has his blue eyes locked on me and I can't help but stare back.

This weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Is that what they meant by 'in love'?

My eyes flick down to his lips. I've thought about those lips all too many times before.

Are they really this close to me? And are they coming even closer?

Only one more thought forms in my head: The twins were right.