Chapter Nineteen

19•••

   Coming out of an unmemorable dream, you rub your eyes open. The rest of your senses awake. You smell strawberry perfume, adjust sight to the shaded room, and let out a quiet groan to stretched limbs.

Jennie appears at the foot of the bed, "Sorry, Rosie, did I wake you?" she asks. You notice she's dressed and ready for the day. She's picked up her pajamas from the floor and she throws them in a basket.

"What time is it?" you husk out. You didn't realize you have overslept.

"Almost eight. I wanted you to get as much sleep as you could," she says, sitting beside you and kissing your forehead.

A slight frown forms on your face, "But I'd rather spend my time awake. With you."

"We still have plenty, love" she chuckles, brushing your hair with her fingertips. You sigh softly, relaxed by the way she does this. "And once you're ready, we can go on that adventure I promised you." she stands from the bed and puts away the clutter of the room. She looks energized, and strong. She really must be as recovered as she says she is.

Sitting up on the bed, you shiver to the cold air hitting your bare skin, as the sheets drape off your chest. You cross your arms over yourself and clench your muscles to shelter warmth.

Jennie is quick to wrap her jumper around you, "I warmed up the tub for you" she says, and the way she has all of her intentions set on making this day as enjoyable and memorable for the both of you, and even as early as now, has you grinning from ear to ear.

"You're amazing, you know that right?" you just have to say it again just in case.

She gives you a loving, kind kiss, "We leave in an hour" and she tosses your clothes to you from her desk chair, having already gone ahead of herself with fetching an outfit from your suitcase.

You spring from the bed and rush for the tub, "Make it half!" you rest your clothes on the counter "Quarter to an hour, tops!".

   You manage to dry and dress in even a matter of fifteen minutes, because the sooner you are ready, the sooner your ventures with Jennie begin. You brush your teeth, comb your hair, and straighten your coat.

"Ready!" you swing the door open.

"Mentor Chu on the phone" she holds it out to you. "I'll meet you downstairs, love" she gives you a peck before leaving you to the line.

"I see you've taken the time to finally call" and call as I'm amidst the crunch of time, how considerate.

"I believed had I not any longer, you would throw a fit" Jisoo remarks, and she's not wrong.

You ask what happened, if she's okay— if father had done something about her and Suho. And you plop on the chair, feel your body drain all hope because she goes silent in a pause.

"Jisoo?" you drop your head.

"Don't worry,"

And you let out a hefty sigh, "Thank god" you whisper under the speaker.

"Everything is fine" she says, and the colors of relief fill you once again as the words assure you.

You lift your head, and you spot the clock of ten minutes past eight-thirty - Jennie is waiting for you downstairs, "You'll need to tell me all about it when I get back." you stand from the desk chair and button your coat with just the one hand. There's no time to waste. "I'll see you later? Once I arrive home?" you slip your oxford shoes on.

"Mhm" Jisoo hums in response, short and sweet.

"Wait for me, then." you add a touch of gloss to your lips.

Jisoo breathes a chuckle, "Bye, Roseanne".

"Until later" you drop the phone on it's dial and your excitement has you dashing all the way to Jennie.

You just can't wait. Today has granted everything good and it's just the top of the morning, and you know there is still much to explore. So much more to store in your box of memories and so much more to fall in love with Jennie.

You round the statue, rush down the west wing and you find Jennie by the vestibule. She turns around and smiles dearly as you run quicker. You don't know what comes over you but you wrap your arms around her and lift her off her feet in circles.

"Whoa— Rosie—" she holds on to you, giggled by your sudden burst of affection. You will force this as pure friendship onto anyone who might come in and question it.

You just keep Jennie in your arms for as long as your enthusiasms bubble.

"You're exceptionally happy this morning" she remarks, sinking into your arms. You are still careful with her incision as you slow down your twirls.

"You have no idea" a few more spins and you put her back down on her feet with a sigh. You speak a quiet confession, "I'm just terribly excited to spend this day with you, Jennie".

Her plump cheeks tint with a blush and she tries to hide the gummy smile creeping on her face. She smacks you in the arm and walks to the grand doors, "Let's not keep ourselves waiting any longer then," and she pushes them open to the outside.

   You can't look away. Not as the carriage rolls through the rural areas of the North. You are surrounded by fields of nature. Past corn fields, flower fields, grass fields, and even just the green fields are as breathtaking to look at, and they're stretch seem endless in the landscapes. You watch the breeze rustle through the stems and they sway side to side in perfect harmony.

"Rosie, you're doing it again" Jennie stops your knee from bouncing up and down continuously, as you must be shaking the whole carriage once more. You glance at her seated across (as sitting beside you may be 'too close'). She's confused, but still smiling at your giddiness.

"I'm sorry, love, I just—" your fingertips graze on the latch of the window. You just want to feel the wind "C-Can... Can I—"

Jennie lifts the lock. She pushes the window to open and the breeze whiffs in your hair. It tickles your face and it smells of nature's god-given aroma- you stick your head out the window and let the onrush of scenery take you with the wind. The sun shines softly on your face, and you look below to your shadow casted by the light. Your figure is defined and strong and your hair blows to one side. You could almost imagine this as the shadow you would see as you looked down at Orange from your mount on him.

You look back up and it's so vast and free- you think your Orange would love this. He would be frolicking with his golden mane behind him.

A camera's shutter snaps.

You look in the carriage. Jennie had taken your photograph. She cranks the film-advance lever and brings the viewfinder to her eye, "Smile for me, darling" she says.

And in the last moment, as she presses the shutter, you get sheepish and cover most of your face in a laugh.

"Why shy away- you're beautiful, Rosie" she pushes the lever again and you feel even more bashful than the first.

"Let me take one of you instead" you try to take the camera from her, but she pulls back.

"I don't need any photos of me, and frankly I don't have any of the love of my life other than what I've just taken"

She aims the camera at you, but this time, you're too stunned to react.

Her words ripple in you. They were so casually said off her lips, like a fact known to the both of you all this time. And perhaps you did know, like you've known when you said she is the best thing to happen to you, but you didn't think you needed to hear her say it out loud. Nevertheless, she said it and your heart warms immensely in Jennie's endearment.

"Oh you're adorable when you blush"

You're the love of her life, she said.

"Alright, look at me, love"

You wish this life could last forever.

"3, 2..."

As your picture is captured, you attention is taken by the change of scenery.

Outside, stand the tallest of bamboo trees you have ever seen. You are surrounded by them, shaded by the slender, ringal sticks that seem to shoot all the way up in the sky. You've never seen anything like this before.

Jennie attests to this. As you wouldn't have known yourself, she tells you that the South doesn't have a bamboo forest. If so, it's not anything like this one.

And this one is beautiful. It's fascinating to look at. You could stare up to its forever growth if it didn't strain your neck. How exotic this is compared to what you have seen all your life.

Apparently, this isn't even the best part.

•••

   "Jennie"

She nods her head with wiggling brows. It is exactly what you are thinking.

"A-Are they..." but you're still astonished to disbelief.

"Real?" Jennie laughs, "They're right in front of you, darling" she closes your open jaw once again.

You have never come so close to a baby panda before. Their black and white fur appear exceptionally soft- so soft, you just want to reach in their pen and touch them. When one looks at you, it's big black eyes stare and blink and they glint just like Jennie's!

"You may enter the room for protective dressings, Your Highnesses." Suho speaks from behind you.

"Come on, Rosie" Jennie tugs at your arm and drags your immovable feet to a smaller room, where you are dressed in scrubs and gloves to handle the pandas with care, because panda watching turns out to not be the best part about this either- and now, you are doubting that anything could top the fact that you actually get to hold the dear balls of softness!

Jennie smiles just as dearly at you. You both bounce in eagerness as the caretakers lead you back to the pen. Your heart leaps because you join the pandas inside for heaven's sake!

You're so elated that you can hardly keep down your squeals. You flick your wrists back and forth to stop your hands from shaking.

The caretaker gestures you both to sit on the floor as she tends to one of the baby pandas.

Jennie snaps a photograph of you, one you were unprepared for, before handing her camera to one of her guards, and sitting down next to you.

"Who would like to hold baby Owen first?" the caretaker asks, and oh god she's returned with one of the baby pandas in her arms. You're incredibly close to him.

"Princess Roseanne?" Jennie suggests, nudging your elbow to redirect your attention. You glance at her and she beams, eyes beckoning.

"Uhm..." your nervous hands extend outward as the caretaker lowers herself down, "I-I've never held a panda before" you mumble, suddenly hesitant because you might hurt the little one.

"It is just like carrying a baby, Your Highness" the caretaker assures, and you feel the weight of the panda being rested in your grasp.

You hold your breath as you take him completely, cradling him in your arms and lap to support your hold. His beady eyes look up at you and it is surely as if you are holding a baby, "He's adorable" you exhale, relaxing and carrying Owen with more intent and endearment.

"He's one of the sweetest ones, Your Highness. Princess Jennie's special little friend."

You glance up at Jennie who chuckles in agreement, "Only after our fight the first time we met"

"How could you fight with possibly the cutest thing in the world?" he's even come close to Jennie's cuteness when you thought nothing and no one could compare to her!

"How could I not when he scratched me in the neck? Had it scarred, we'd be mortal enemies."

"But I thought he's the sweetest of all" you glance at the caretaker.

She shakes her head with a laugh, "He is. But like all pandas, they become rather defensive if disturbed."

You glower at Jennie, "You disturbed the baby panda?"

She points accusingly at Owen, "He refused to cuddle me!" she defends her own actions and it causes for hilarious teasing between the three of you.

Moments later, Owen climbs out of your arms and crawls toward Jennie, "It's no matter anymore- we're like best friends now, aren't we O?" Jennie helps him onto her lap and coos the panda with adorable talk.

For hours, you and Jennie play with little Owen, and have an even more enjoyable time when his friends come to join. You play with them, cuddle them, feed them, and it is such fun and entertainment that it only feels like minutes of the pure amusement before you have to say goodbye. You hadn't really realized that four hours had gone by so swift.

As the caretaker carries the baby pandas one by one out to their habitats, Jennie leans in to whisper, "Happy, love?" despite the obvious surge of joy that has been rushing in you.

You turn your cheek to face her and Jennie retracts right away. The immediate urge to kiss her swarms you, because to think that she has planned this one and only experience for the both of you to enjoy- for a memory you'll be sure to remember as one of the happiest- it fills you with the wondrous, ceaseless bliss of Jennie's love that you will never begin to understand how pure and heavenly she is.

You want to kiss her right here, right now because no words could express the gratitude you have for her. You want to pour appreciation and affection in her just as she has for you. You wish you could- wish it were fair for you to show your love for her- kiss her like you should. You just want to kiss her because you love her goddamnit.

Jennie clears her throat and turns back to the pandas, after a quick glance to the guards who stand- watching by the doors.

You suck in a breath, "Jennie" there is a great, overwhelming urge.

She glances back and forth at you and the floor.

So powerful that you're about to risk any one of these ears hearing you tell her you love—

"I know, Rosie" she holds your gaze, a soft expression on her face. She puts a hand on your knee and squeezes before letting go, "I know" she says, because she has read your mind before you could speak it. And she shakes her head with pursed lips, and you know she doesn't want you to say it out loud.

"Shall we get you out of the scrubs, Your Highnesses?"

You stand up from the floor, and you offer your hand to Jennie. Because this will have to do for now.

   For the next leg of your journey, you are itching to be closer to her. The subtle kinships are nice, but the brush of the hand and the touch on the shoulder are making you want to engulf her in your arms and kiss her on her cheeks even more. And Jennie knows you wish to do all these things, because just as she catches your longing stares, ready to reach out and pull her in, she shakes her head with a soft smile and turns away to watch the scenes go by out the window.

You try to do the same. Get distracted by the rocky terrains onward your next destination.

But when Jennie strokes her hand on your knee to bring your attention to where she points, you almost lose it.

"That's where Sehun hurt is ankle on our hike. Or broken it as he claims,"

You look to the window behind Jennie, a small space for you to see that Suho and the coachman of the carriage are facing head on.

"He was being a big baby about it when he had only tripped on the tiniest rock,"

You turn behind you and the royal guards on the horses are looking outward to the terrains.

You take your chance.

"Oh I can just remember the way he whined and complained and—"

You cup Jennie's face and you close the gap between you with a passionate kiss.

She gasps on your lips and retracts in shock, but she relaxes in your hold when you kiss her with more purpose. She puts her hands over yours and she moves her lips with you, heart in sync with all your intentions to just love her like this for now.

For these few seconds, you spill your thanks and graces in the way you kiss her. Deep, but gentle. And you mark your words on her just for the sake of ensuring she understands what you mean, "You're so good to me" — that she makes you believe that love is the kindest thing on this earth. Bountiful, and selfless, and so so generous.

Jennie is first to pull away. "You're awfully braver these days, love", she chuckles breathlessly and presses her fingers to her lips as if the words really are marked on her.

You lean back on your seat and you're sure the heat on your face is a tint of red. You check all the windows for good measure. No one has seen you.

And it is then that you catch a glimpse of your next destination down the rocky mountain. It is too eye catching to miss. You don't have these in the South either.

Jennie clears her throat and gestures to the clear ocean waves and exceptional white sand, "I hope you're not afraid of the water."

   Your toes are inches away from the grains. Jennie's are already buried in the sand, a couple feet away from you, under the brilliant sun and waving for you to join her. You lean in to whisper to Suho at your side.

"There aren't any vicious creatures under this sandbank are there?"

Your Royal guard has trouble stifling his laugh at your inquiry, "It is certainly safe and free of anything of the sort, Your Highness."

"Are you sure, Suho?" because this would be your first time stepping forth. You've never been so close to a beach before.

"Come on, Rosie!" Jennie exclaims, waving the camera in her hand up in the air.

"I would never put you in danger, Princess." He says, and you are just as sure that he would save you have anything go wrong.

Jennie approaches you, gummy smile spread across her face, "We only have a few hours left, Princess" she teases, extending her hand to you. You suck up your hesitations and concerns with a deep breath and you hold Jennie's hand, "You'll love it"

You lift your foot, slowly shifting your weight as you let it down and when it rests on the sand, you could easily mistake it as powder, "Goodness...." you could consider this a milestone.

Jennie squeezes your hand and she guides you into the beach, away from the grass and closer to the ocean. You squint down at your shadow. You watch your feet sink and you look back at the footprints you've left.

"The water is perfect today" Jennie says, voice loud enough to be heard over the rush of waves on the shoreline.

You stare at the crystal ocean and you stop in your tracks, "I don't know how to swim" you say. You've never taken a dip in a body of water in your life- not even a pool.

Jennie turns around to face you and chortles at your remark, "I don't expect you to, darling" she lets go of your hand and splashes her feet in the water.

"J-Jennie, careful—"

You look behind you and Suho and the royal guards remain positioned on duty by the grass.

Jennie puts your worries to rest, "It's safe, Rosie, I promise you". You look back at her and she shades her eyes from the sun with her hand. Her features accentuate beautifully here. "Just walk along the shoreline with me".

As you take Jennie's hand, you tiptoe on the waters, a shiver along your spine as you dip your feet in. They sink deeper into the sand it feels amazing. Like a comfortable weight enveloping you. You wiggle your toes, watching the sand run between. Then the tide rushes in and you jump back.

"It's feels good, doesn't it?" Jennie suggests, and she tugs your hand to take steps along with her, down the long stretch of the beach.

You watch the waves wash in and out.

Jennie transfers to your other side, being the one to walk on the side closer to the water, "You worry too much, Rosie" she shakes her head with a sigh.

"Indeed," you switch positions so she is to be further away from potential danger. You just don't know much about the ocean (never mind that you are still on land). "You've turned me into a hypochondriac."

"A hypochondriac?" she chuckles, "How is that so?" as if you are exaggerating. Only, you're not.

"If you die, I wouldn't bare it"

"Christ, Rosie"

"I'm quite serious," you say. She looks at you to understand what you mean. You look at her with honesty, "If I die, I lose you too." you say, stating the god-awful verity that one day, you will be without Jennie.

"Don't scare me like that"

You nod your head, "I'm sorry". You know better than to speak of losing someone with her.

She sighs deeply, "Do you suggest we live forever, then?"

"That is ideal," you titter, "but for as long as you and I are together, Jennie, I wish for us to be nothing less than healthy." you will prolong the seconds, and the minutes, and the hours and the days, and the years, between that one day. "So yes," you affirm, and for good reason, "a hypochondriac."

Jennie is quiet for a moment, and it gives you a leeway to think of what you would do if you lost her to the void of time. In truth, you have trouble imagining yourself in what would be a dark, dark place.

You wish to never be in that point of time.

"Is that what you always have in that head of yours when you get all quiet?" Jennie breathes another chuckle to lighten the mood.

"You're always on my mind, Jennie" you say, and you smile with her as her cheeks turn a crimson color. You take the camera from her hands, "Mind if I keep this one?" and you snap a photograph of her natural splendor.

You take many photos of and with Jennie. A few of water splashing, sandcastle making, sand angel shaping, just candid walking all the way to the opposite end of the beach- you do it all with Jennie. All with her wit and jests to succumb in mirthful laughter, her benevolence to care for you the entire time- take care of you always- her beloved enjoyment for this very bank you walk along as she tells you of all her favorite memories and what favorite memories now include you in them. All in pure, enkindling, fiery love.

You bask in all that Jennie has done for you- given to you, as you sit together on the edge of the coastal rocks, watching and listening to the waves flow peacefully under the beautiful pastel sky the sun paints before you, before it says goodnight.

"Love, your father wants you home by sunset. I really think we should—"

"Just a few more minutes"

"If you don't leave now, you—"

You turn to Jennie and you shake your head, "I don't care" you only want to stay a while longer.

She purses her lips and sighs in defeat as you are unyielding. She looks behind, at the royal guards and the way they appear as ants from this far out on the rocks.

"Then let me hold you for the rest of this" she inches closer and takes your hand to rest in hers on her lap. She fiddles with your fingers and it relaxes you to complete tranquil. With the pink cotton sky, the pacific waters, and the guarantee that you are loved by Jennie, you are living in perfect time. It's so raw, and divine that you could cry. "Did you have fun today, Rosie?"

Your voice comes out in a whisper, too taken by the scene of it all, "The most fun" and you want to thank her tenfold for loving you like this. Like you really matter, because you matter to her. "I'm going to miss you terribly while we're apart"

Jennie kisses your hand, "I'll call you everyday, darling"

This, you say louder, "I love you terribly, Jennie" you say it loud enough for her to hear, and let it string out into the skies and the ocean who witness your sealed promises- yours and Jennie's love. You never thought something as heavenly as this could be real. You never thought it would feel this good.

"You make me believe in love."

You never thought it could happen to you.

You swift Jennie's fallen tears away with the pad of your thumb.

Her words speak to your heart in sincerity, just as she intends with the sentiments you hold for someone you awfully miss, "I love you too, Rosie" she says, "I'm forever yours."

•••

   If thinking about a life without Jennie is the worst thing, saying goodbye to her was a close second. You were able to savor one last kiss in the guest bedroom, after you had finished packing all your belongings. But it was cut short as you were running out of time. The sun was down and the moonlight was only going deeper and deeper into the night the longer you took. The longer you took, the taller father's anger was growing.

King Tae-oh and Queen Ara joined Jennie at the vestibule, where you said your last regards for their hospitality. They hugged you each, and ensured that you are welcome in their home any time.

You hugged Jennie for a moment longer. She whispered her 'I love you's' and already, her 'I miss you's'. You could already feel the missing pieces of her as she started to pull away so you hugged her tighter to take what you could of her with you while these four days are to pass.

"I'll wait for you" you said, and she promised she will come back to you.

And as you travel only further away from Jennie and the beautiful places she took you, you hope and pray that there is nothing terrible to happen while you are away from her. You pray that nothing terrible would happen ever. It is a long two hours of worrying.

When you pass the borders you feel yourself slipping back to reality, as if the last three days you lived were just a dream.

You think about home and you see your father, furious and flared in distrust because you disobeyed his orders. You hear him yelling at you but even louder at Suho, because he is responsible for taking you home. And you see Jisoo and all the possible explanations to what happened and what will happen to her and Suho.

You think of Lisa and you don't know what you would say when you see her. What would be the right words to say to keep the distress and heartache away from her? What would be the right words to say that Sehun isn't coming back?

You don't know. You spend the next hour of the your journey home trying to decipher this puzzle.

When you walk on your holy grail you are divulged in profound bewilderment.

"Chu?" you push the library doors open. It's dark and it's empty. "Jisoo?" you holler in the dim halls, making your way to the east wing, peering in all the rooms your friend could possibly be lingering in. You open all the doors to no one.

When you reach the second floor, your father appears walking out of his office and the surprise stops you in your tracks.

"F-Father" you feel a tight lump lodged in your throat. You tense, ready for his dispute of your blunder.

He stands straight, looking at you with a blank expression, "You're late." he strides toward you.

"I-I'm sorry—" and past you.

He heads up the staircase swiftly and you follow in your prompt to obey, "In the time I have chosen to trust you, Roseanne, you defy my rules." he speaks cooly, a contradiction to the reprimands.

"I'm sorry, father, I understand that you are—"

"Thus substantiating my decision to find you a new mentor"

You fall short on your steps behind him, dumbfounded and fearful.

Father halts atop the stairs and looks down upon you, eyes cold and sheering you in what you couldn't have expected, "Ms. Kim has been dismissed." because your best friend lied to you.

"What did you say?" You thought everything was fine.

"Palace subjects are forbidden to fraternize with one another and risk the banishment of one from the palace grounds- you know the law, Roseanne. It applies to all." you just can't believe what you are hearing, "Even the ones you call friends." He says and dares to walk away from you.

"How could you?" You expire. You're overwrought— mind running in winding explanations to make sense of what this really means- that Jisoo has been expelled from the palace.

"Ms. Choi will arrive tomorrow morning. She will teach you plenty more than Ms. Kim could."

"Y-You can't do this" Jisoo is your best friend—

"She broke the law!"

Your entire body, the daunting grounds, shake from the foreboding, unforgiving monarch that is your father.

"How dare you speak back to me" he spits.

The fire of your refusal and anger diminish and you are left a helpless wick.

"Rest assured, your royal guard will take the other end of my disapprove."

Cowardly, and shaken, and named useless— you let him walk away completely.

Lost, and tearful, and in denial— you run away to your room.

You sprint down the shadowed halls of your estate, choking up on your own attempts to swallow down the truth of it all. You trip on steps and you bump into Yeri out of nowhere— "Oh Princess!"

You crash by the window and you see the stables, "Lisa" she must know what happened.

"I'm so so sorry, Princess—"

"Lisa," you tell Yeri as you stand, "I need Lisa— please bring me Lisa" you dash down the hall to your bedroom, bursting the door open and stumbling to your desk. You pull your drawers open, yanking at everything inside— tossing everything out for a piece of parchment paper stained with faded ink from your mentor's pen. With trembling hands and tearful eyes, you dial the number written. "Please" you're praying that this contact remains as hers- the same as when she wrote it down years ago.

Your heart is wrenched in disbelief and- and uncertainty- and where is she you wonder— god you just can't believe—

"Hello?"

"You lied to me" you choke out. "You said everything was fine, Chu" you thought everything was fine "you said I would see you when I got back" it's too much to stop yourself from crying for her. For the consequences she has to face and the unfairness that she even has to face it at all.

"Rosie..."

Because love is supposed to be good and kind.

"We broke the law"

"Fuck the law—" Love is supposed to be free.

"Rosie, it's fine" she says, like she's already given up.

You plop on your desk chair before your legs give out. You carry your pounding head on the palm of your hand and let your tears fall relentless. You told her from the very beginning to wait. To wait until you get the chance to overrule their restricted love affair— to wait until you can make things right. "Where are you?" you'll go and bring her back.

"Let this go, Rosie"

"I'll talk to my father- I'll stand up to him— please just tell me where you are"

She doesn't speak, but you hear the shaky breath she takes to stop her tears because she knows you told her since the beginning.

"I'll fix it, Jisoo" you keep your promise that you will.

She draws in a staggered breath, "There is no changing his mind, Rosie, you know that." she says, but unlike everything Jisoo says to be right and factual she is wrong about this— "My leave is the better of the two options. Suho must remain as your royal guard."

"I can't do this without you" you need your best friend.

After a moment of taking your words in, she speaks sadly, "I guess I should have prepared you for this, too".

Suddenly, your attention is brought to a hard thud by the door, "Princess," Suho is breathless, distraught and scattered from what looks to have been a frantic run all the way to tell you that Jisoo is missing. He sees your tears and the telephone and his face drops in heartache. You stand and hold out the phone— he takes it in the next beat.

"Jisoo" he speaks her name desperately.

You spot Lisa running down the hall. Your chest fills with an uprise of emotions and you crash into her with all the upsetting guilt you have for your best friend's banishment.

She catches you in her arms and she holds you tight.

You apologize for what happened. For the insensible laws and the unfair balance between love and injustice. You apologize for it all.

And Lisa tells you its not your fault. She whispers it in your ears over your pathetic sorries until you could no longer muster enough words to express.

You hear Suho's distress from behind you, voice cracking as he speaks through the phone, "It should be me" he says, "Please don't do it for me."