part 40(please)

the sunset was downing,the view from the balcony was peaceful...the kind of peaceful where everything seems perfect and relaxing...but still despite everything seeming peaceful and ready to start a new beginning there's this emptiness in the room that feels heavier than it should...the air seems still..the oxygen feels hard to take...and then there's this girl....who is getting married Tommorow..means me,y/n...and the dress that is resting peacefully on the chair near my bed....

for the past two hours..I am sitting on my bed..my back resting against the headboard while my knees are upto my chest and my hands hugging my legs while my chin rested on my knees...i kept staring at the dress....that is gonna be my wedding dress...it just arrived a few hours ago when we were having dinner...

I am staying at soobin's house with yong...cause his house is a bit far away from where I live and we had to do shopping for our marriage and it takes too much time to go to my house to pick and drop...so he insisted...

no event takes more time than a wedding... wedding is really a tiring and big event where not only the bride and groom's family but the guests too has to give their all energy and time...when there's a marriage time flies so fast...now see..almost three months has past and it's finally the time when I'll get married...to someone else...to one i don't love...but for the better future I have to try....

these three months ran so fast...I didn't even realize that so much time had passed in shopping, booking the hall and seeing everything else.in these months I never got time to think about how my life came from what it was to what it is now....until today,when the dress came...and I have to try it to check if it fits or not...i started doubting everything...from the start to now...

do i really have to wear it and walk down the wedding hall...and say the rituals...and then say yes?did i deserved this?did I deserved all the things that happened to me?....now that I think about it....I was wrong all the time from the day i fell in love or should I say one sided love with min yoongi....my actions were wrong,my way of asking for marriage was wrong...me marrying him forcefully was wrong... obviously it had to turn out like that....he cheated on me...no he didn't actually cheated...He loved someone else before I even knew what BTS was...and I just came in between with a proposal that he kindly refused...but it was me who started it....

it was me who did wrong to him in the first place... ofcourse he would hate me for that...and marrying me wouldn't make him fell out of love with the girl he was in relationship with....

I did what I did because I loved HIM and maybe somewhere in my heart i still love him....and...he did what he did cause he loved HER and maybe somewhere in his heart he still love her too?

although moving on from him is still the hardest decision i have ever made...but he punished me so bad for marrying him and for cheating on me like that,I have to punish him as well...even if it means starting a new life with someone else...

keeping all of the thoughts aside i walked to my wedding dress...hands trembling a little...i wore the dress and looked in the mirror at myself...the house is still... everyone is asleep....it's past two forty...almost the witching hour...and I am seeing myself in a white gown...The gown is a breathtaking masterpiece, shimmering in a delicate embrace of light and elegance. Its ethereal bodice, adorned with intricate sequins, glistens like dewdrops at dawn, while the flowing sleeves add a touch of vintage romance. The voluminous skirt cascades into layers of soft tulle, each fold whispering tales of dreams and celebration. With a train that trails gracefully behind, this gown captures the essence of a fairy tale....

i touched my dress with gentleness.. emerged in it's beauty... just then...

knock knock-

i startled and looked towards the not so big window covered with curtains.then to the clock...it shows exactly three am...my heartbeat quickens... anybody's would... it's fucking three..the witching hour...and i am alone.. that's how it is in movies...the knocking continues again..and this time I step forward with heavy but carefull steps...

i stood in front of the curtains.breathing a bit faster than normal...hands reaching to move them...just as i moved the curtains-*gasp*a hand resting on the opposite side of the window and i can the front of their hand...

i was about to close the curtains when a voice came from the other side which made me stop...

"y/n...open the damn window.. I'll fall"the voice was familiar..but it came with heavy breathing and tiredness...i think I know who it is...but the window?...

hearing him about to fall..i wasted no time and opened the window quickly...

there he was....my soon to be ex husband...min yoongi... clinging to the handle of one of the window's door...His feet rested on a small protrusion from the wall.he was breathing heavily..his hairs stucked on his forehead and neck from the sweat..he was wearing Snickers which made the situation more difficult...

but why did he choose to come by the window!?that is on second floor? does he wanna die?...

"will you keep..staring at me only-...or..help me get...in.."he paused and said...which made me come back to the world...

"oh-i..here...hold my hand"he held my hand and i pulled him in...

"hah-...that was the worst decision I had ever took"he said rubbing his hands together once he came in...

I looked at him confused and curious to what he was here...he kept looking everywhere..like the ceiling,the room and the door, lastly his eyes landed on me.. whose eyes were following his gaze everywhere...i raised my eyebrows to signal him why he is here so late at night?...

"i...-uh... actually....i-"he hesitated...

"what?why are you here...you shouldn't-"I got cut off by what he said next...

"you look beautiful....really beautiful"he said which made me frozen in my place...

"huh"only this sound came out from my mouth....my eyes shifted down to my wedding dress...

"i love you y/n...so much"he said but my mind was somewhere else...at his compliment..

"thanks"i whispered and slowly looked at him...

"huh?"he said...

"for the complement "i said...

for sometime we were quiet...just looking here and there...every passing minute was feeling heavy...the tightness in my chest just won't fade away...then..

"don't do this marriage...."the words fell from his mouth so simple and straightforward his eyes narrowing a little as he said that....

I looked at him then slowly and gently said...

"i can't....i can't do this"to this his eyes numbed a little and he quickly blinks his eyes to stop the tears from filling in his eyes...

"please don't do this...give me a chance... I'll do everything right this time..."he whispered so gently that even in this room where only him and i are present...only i could hear him....

"it's the first time someone has choosen me for being me...i can't break his heart"i said with no expression,looking past him.

"do you love him?"he asked to which i looked at him and tears started forming in my eyes....

"he was the only one who was by my side when I was barely holding onto my life"i said my jaw tightening a little to stop my voice from cracking.

"i am so sorry..."he said."sorry won't do anything right"i said to which his eyes instantly filled with tears but he didn't let them fall..

"i know... please let me explain just once then you can decide whether to stay or leave"he said to which i looked at my other side..taking it as a sign ,he started explaining....

"i was in a relationship...even when you were just a fan of mine...then we got married-"i cut him off by saying...

"YOU got married to me..."

he took a sigh and continue...

"i got married...and started hating you cause I was still in a relationship with her...and our marriage was forced...I was forced....but then mom told me that it was not you who kidnapped her but your cousin..then I started seeing you as someone...then we became friends...we enjoyed our time...I felt jealous sometimes but shrugged it off...I was a fool to not realise that jealousy..."his eyes were teary again and he kept blinking them continuously...

"then the day come when my ex called me and told me about that silly plan...of my death...I was happy ...cause I thought I was still in love with her....i agreed to her plan...and then we did just like that..."his voice cracked a little...

"how did the police didn't knew about this?they said they burried your body before we came cause it was in bad situation"I asked my lips trembling and just now my mind clicked...

"she paid them...and told them what they had to say to all of you...that night...I went to the airport my ex said she and one of her friends will handle everything here...so i moved to Paris..."I was silent the whole time....

this much drama just because i forcefully married him....by now the tears were silently sliding down my cheeks to jaw...

"but beleive me...I started feeling extreme guilt from that day...I was not happy from inside....I was enjoying, laughing, traveling here and there with her but not even for one minute my mind leave the thought of you and mom and all the things I left behind...then years passed...and we started losing contact...I was mostly in my apartment and she was in her...I wanted to come back so badly but then the thought of how I'll face you was holding me back"he looked up and his lips trembled a bit for the next few lines he was gonna tell...

and I was looking at him while crying silently....

"I never realised I was in love with you from the moment we became friends until I saw you after-five years....and-"We broke down together as he said those lines i was craving to hear from the start....this time with the sound of agony...we started crying together...he lowered his face same as me...

"I am so sorry...I am sorry... please forgive me"he said desperately between his cries....

i keep shaking my head while crying and my mouth keep repeating just few words over and over again...

"how.....!??why..did you do this to me... i can't..."and he keep repeating apology....

"please.... don't do this to me... please don't marry him... don't leave me y/n..."the sentence were too short but deeper to feel....

"it's about my future...i can't do this yoongi it's too late now..." i said wiping my tears away....

suddenly he fell on his knees and grabbedy gown and said....

"please y/n... I'll die for sure this time..."he said to which my expre tightened and eyes filled with tears.... although i hate him or pretend to hate him... somewhere in my heart i still love him...

"than do....i have been living without you for so many years anyways..."i said coldly...

"please don't -"just then someone knocked on my door...

my eyes widened....and i looked towards yoongi...i pull.him up in standing position..and started pushing him towards the window....

"you should go.... don't cause trouble for me please...i wish you'll find another one for you... she'll keep you happy.... she'll not force you to live with her... she'll do things you like...goodbye yoongi..."i said i pushed him out now he was standing on those protrusion...

"but i want you..."he said his eyes still glossy...

i gulped before saying....

"once you were gone...let me go this time...you came back...but i would not..."i said and just then i heard the sound of door unlocking and i quickly wipe my face with my hands and comes out from the curtains that were hiding the window...

"uh...yeah?do you need anything soobin..."but he just keeps staring at me..I feel awkward...and a little bit scared...what if he found out that yoongi is here?....

"you..."he says and took slow steps towards me...my heartbeat getting high each second....

my eyes keep drifting towards the curtains...

just as he came close to me...he tugged my hair behind my ear and his eyes softened...

"you look beautiful in it"

"i promise I'll never let any tear drop come into your eyes..."he says and my eyes filled with tears so he hugged me immediately...

"aish don't cry now..."then silence...

after a minute he broke the hug and looked at me in the eyes..i keep avoiding the contact...

then he suddenly dramatically said"oh no!...i wasn't supposed to see you like this before the wedding..."while keeping his hand in his chest acting as if he was hurt...that made me chuckle a little bit and i slap his arm lightly....

"you should go to sleep..."i said..

"yeah...take care... you'll look ethereal Tommorow trust me..."he said while waving his goodbye..."

just as he stepped outside I closed the door and rushed towards the window...i movedthe curtains and saw no one....

he was gone...

i sigh and sat on the bed...

soobin p.o.v.

the sounds were so loud in this silence...the crying of a girl.... followed by a murmur of a guy....at first i thought it might be somone in the pathway...but then i recognised the voice as y/n's and i quickly sat up on my bed...

the sounds only keep growing louder...I went out from my room and towards her room....

i stand there for a minute then knock...she didn't opened the door...

i keep knocking then opened the door...just as i opened it...she comes out from the curtains..it was windy today...

but then my eyes fell on her dress..it was the wedding dress and she was looking fantastic...like she was not a real woman...

"you look beautiful"i said...she looks down....

"I promise I'll never let any tear drop come into your eyes"i said to which she started crying...i hugged her and assure her that it's okey...

my eyes drifted towards the window...as the curtains fly a little bit...that showed the pathway...there was someone standing there....

i squinted my eyes...the he looked up and immediately looked away...as if caught red handed...my jaw tightened a little bit...then he went away.. yoongi.....he was here....and she's not crying because of me... it's because of him....

she loves him so much....but she has choosen me herself....

then i broke the hug and looked at her eyes...it shows she was hurt....sad...not happy....but i couldn't bare the courage of asking her about that....

"oh no!...i wasn't supposed to see you like this before wedding...."she chuckled and slightly slap my arm...

the we big goodnights...

i came into my room but the thought of so many things wouldn't leave me alone even for a second....

wedding day....y/n's p.o.v.

"mumma....how are you feeling?"yong asked as he looked at me in the mirror...i was getting ready...

"I am feeling fresh my kid...how about you?...are you happy?... you'll finally have dad...and you're looking so handsome...."i said as i pinched his cheeks... although I was nervous very nervous and suffocating a little bit ..but I can't stop now i guess...

"ahhhh unnie....! you're looking like a princess...I am so happy for you..."haewon came running while shouting loudly...behind her my oppa means her fiance...dae...and lastly kyungmi...

they all congratulate me...

kyungmi looked a little bit tired...like she hasn't sleep yesterday....

"are you okey unnie?...you look tired"i said to which she passes me a weak smile...

"yeah I am fine... Tommorow night suddenly I got some urgent work aso I had to go therem..you know my work right?"I made an "o" face and asked...

"you're still doing that kind of work?...""no no...I am over it...I mean not fully over it...there are some times where I had to go see the plan and somethings..but i am far away from weapons now..."she says slowly....

"okey okey let's go..."jin said....

i walked down the aisle...yong by my side...i looked in front of me...there was soobin....beside the priest...he looks handsome...tall,fit, handsome....with a sweet smile on his face...that falter just for a second that no one noticed but me...

as I reached there he gave me his hand to hold...I held his hand and climb up the few stairs and now I was standing in front of him....

we looked towards the crowd... towards the guests...

my eyes roamed to the familiar faces...soon to be ex mom...brother...my two cousins...jin...namjoon...hoseok...jimn ...v...Jungkook... expect...him yoongi...

my eyes roamed around the crowd again but there was no sign of him...

now the little anxiety started filling in me...

i looked towards soobin He too looked at me...his eyes were sad but lips were smiling....

"do you take shin y/n as your lawfully wedded wife.."silence filled the whole garden....

i looked at him...he was quite for a moment...

then he looked towards the people and his eyes filled with tears and he smiles brightly....

"i do..."he said and everyone clapped...

"do you shin y/n take choi soobin as your lawfully wedded husband..."the priest said...and silence again filled the whole garden....

"i---"just as i was about to say I do...

"don't do this please!" someone shouted so loud we all looked towards her....

the phone slipped from her hands as she spoke again....

"yoongi....is dieing......"

silence.......

he can't really do this right?....he is not doing it......

"please continue..."I told the priest....and looked towards soobin nodding My head as an apology...

"do you take choi soobin as your lawfully wedded husband..."

just before I could say my vows...again...

"don't do this y/n.... atleast go see him...he is in his last moments...he keeps calling your name..... please...".....

i looked towards the person speaking......

just then her phone rang again....and this time her expression changed completely....

"he....is ....no more..." she slowly said as she lowers her phone...

and the ground beneath my feet slips away....no he can't really do this....

my legs feel weak....I looked towards soobin....

and he nodded at me slowly....

I took one step backward...

than I turn around and held my gown a little bit higher...

and started running.... although it was hard and risky but at this moment my mind was blank....tears were flowing...

yong was just there beside soobin...clueless...and all other BTS members were clueless as well....yoongi's mom sat down because she couldn't take this news....

kyungmi ran behind me i guess...

we reached his house....and there on the couch he was laying....his clothes bloodied...his eyes closed...

i walked towards him slowly...and sat beside him....

i thought it was a prank....and he would be sitting here...but here he is....not waking up.....

to be continued...

only one chapter has left....

how are you all feeling about it?...