Chapter 16

Spencer knew she had no business being with Paul as they stumbled into her house, their arms roaming each other's bodies and their lips hungering for each other. There was a part of her that knew her friend would never be able to separate the physical from the emotional and, at the end of the day, it was more than likely that she would break his heart.

But it was the part of her that wanted to believe what he had told her that was winning. She wanted to trust that every reassurance he had given her were his true intentions. That this was something they could both enjoy without complicating their relationship.

"Paul," she muttered as he devoured her neck. "Paul, I need to make sure you're sure about this."

"Gods, Spence, I already told you I am," he mumbled into her skin. "This will be a lot better if you're just in the moment."

She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back, staring deeply into the brown of his eyes. "Paul, promise me," she said. "You need to promise me that you won't give yourself a false illusion of what's happening here."

"Spencer, I promise you that I am a thousand percent sure of what we're doing here. I won't get my hopes up and I won't trick myself into thinking this is anything other than sex," he responded stoically. "Are you sure you're not the one that's not certain?"

"I am sure. It's just I don't want you to feel like I'm taking advantage of the fact that you have feelings for me. You're my best friend and our friendship means more to me than anything else."

"I promise that I am completely okay with this, Spence. I know the meaning of casual," he grinned. "Now, can we go back to kissing? Cause I really like kissing you."

"I really like kissing you too," she chuckled. "Alright, just know I will hold you to this promise."

"I don't expect anything less," Paul smiled. "Now come here."

His hand landed on her hips, guiding her until each of her legs was on either side of him on the couch. She straddled his lap, the warmth from his body inundating her senses. His lips devoured hers, their tongues falling into a steady rhythm that had her moaning out. Spencer wanted more. She needed to forget. She needed her body to forget him .

Their kiss was eager, the novelty of the moment guiding every action. The newness of what they were doing was intoxicating and addicting, and it felt easy to get lost in. As Paul's hands started roaming under her sweater, exploring the valley of her skin, it felt almost natural to forget every hardship she had endured the past couple of months.

Spencer left Paul's lips for a second as she pulled her top off, followed closely by his own. Her eyes scoured his torso. Every muscle, every defined line, every beautiful imperfection of his skin. He truly was breathtaking, at least another version of breathtaking from the one she had fallen for.

"You're perfect," Paul breathed as his mouth latched onto her neck once more. "Just so perfect."

All she could do was moan in response as he found the spot that sent shivers through her body. And with the addition of his hands on her exposed chest made her mind go blank. It was no secret that he knew his way around a female body.

Paul traveled the sides of her neck, leaving wet kisses and gentle nips on her skin before moving onto the hardened peaks of her chest. He surrounded the mound with his mouth, his tongue pressing flat against it. He circled the sensitive bud, rolling it and pulling softly with his teeth as his hand did the same to the other breast.

Spencer threw her head back in pleasure as she snaked her hands into Paul's black hair, tugging at the hair on his nape. Between his attention on her breasts, and his hardening erection pushing onto her core under her skirt, her arousal kept growing. She could feel her wetness seeping onto the fabric of her underwear, and she was sure that the moment she left his lap there would be a darkened spot on his pants.

But her worry for the fabric went away the second she ground her hips against him, the roughness of the denim stimulating the area she most wanted. It siphoned a moan from Paul's throat that reverberated through her body, making her writhe harder onto him.

"If you keep doing that I won't last long," Paul grumbled. "Or are you trying to make me look bad?"

"Maybe," she chuckled devilishly. "Maybe I want to speed things along already."

"Someone's needy, huh?"

"Or, I know what I want and don't want to wait to get it."

"Sounds to me like you're a bit of a brat," he chuckled. "But I've got just the thing you need."

Before she could respond, Paul had grabbed her by the waist and spun her until her back was on the couch and he was towering over her. With a cocky grin on his face, his hand snaked under her skirt and slowly pulled her underwear down her legs. The more he took his time, the needier she grew.

Her legs unconsciously closed at the exposure, suddenly growing embarrassed of her nakedness. But Paul pushed her legs open, holding them apart with an ounce of his strength.

"Don't you dare hide yourself," he said. "No reason for you to get shy now."

"You're such a tease, Paul."

"I wasn't the one writhing on your lap a second ago," he chuckled darkly. "But I'm gonna make sure you never forget tonight."

He lowered his head between her legs, taking a moment to inhale her scent, memorizing the intoxicating notes of her arousal. If that was the only time they were ever together, he wanted to make sure he'd always remember how she felt, how she smelled, how she tasted.

His tongue ran probingly against her, spreading her folds before landing on the swollen bundle of nerves that had been begging for attention. A single lick had (Y/N) arching her back and snaking her hands through Paul's hair, tugging at the short strands. She moaned in pleasure, the stimulation taking over her body.

Paul was different. Every action he took was calculated, maneuvered in a way to leave her wanting more. There was no softness to his movements, they were done to make her feel overstimulated and wanting more at the same time. It was not a way to show love, it was simply to make her body feel good. To instill her with so much pleasure nothing else was running through her head.

He flicked and sucked at her clit, his cheeks hollowing as she pushed his head against her. As her moans and pants grew closer together, binding in a string of sounds, he inserted two digits into her, quickly curving the tip of his fingers.

The quick intrusion knocked the wind off her lungs and choked the sounds from her throat. Spencer arched her back off the couch and closed her legs around Paul's head. She had missed that feeling. Feeling full and aroused, she had gotten a taste just once and it had been taken away.

Yet, something was missing for her. A connection she'd had with him that had made the moment feel different. A bond that made her feel as though they had stopped being separate individuals and had become one. But that same person had been the one to give her everything one moment and ripped it from her hands the next. If that was what love felt like, she did not want it again.

She needed what she had at that moment. Simple and undemanding. A mutual understanding between friends that, in theory, could only end badly if they didn't communicate. But she wanted to trust that Paul and she would never let that happen. Their friendship was the most important thing.

Losing herself in the moment wasn't difficult. As Paul pumped his fingers into her, she could feel her climax growing closer. The tightness in the pit of her stomach was threatening to snap, and in a couple of seconds, it would.

Spencer gripped at Paul's black strands as she felt herself coming undone, her release slipping down his face. He drank her essence like a man in the desert finding his only oasis, using his tongue to lick her clean. Not a single drop was left behind.

"Come here," she beckoned him with a grin, pulling his face to hers with a smirk. "What a messy eater."

"What can I say?" Paul chuckled. "I was enjoying myself down there."

"Shut up," she laughed. She crashed her lips onto his, moaning as she tasted herself on his tongue. "Now, are you gonna keep teasing or are you gonna fuck me already?"

"Seriously, such a brat," he jokingly exclaimed. "Someone ought to put you in your place."

"Is that gonna be you, Pauly-boy?"

"Don't tempt me, Spence."

"That's the whole point," she laughed. "Now, fuck me."

Paul didn't have to be told twice. He ripped her skirt off her body and stood to remove his shorts, earning a gasp from Spencer. He wasn't longer than him , but he was thicker, and it filled her with exhilarating excitement.

"Get on the floor," she said as she scrambled for her skirt and pulled a foil wrapper from the pocket, handing it to Paul.

"Bossy, aren't we?" he chuckled as he ripped the wrapper with his teeth and quickly slid it down his length. "But I guess I'll comply."

He lay on the floor, his naked back feeling the roughness of the rug under him, his eyes following every move Spencer made.

She didn't make him wait much as she knelt down, her legs on either side of him. Her hips hovered above his as she took his hard member in her hands, stroking it softly, making his eyes roll to the back of his head. All before she lined the reddened head against her entrance, brushing it against her folds to gather some of her slickness. Then, she slid down.

Both of them gasped at the feeling.

Paul closed his eyes as he felt her wetness wrap against him, her walls pulsing against his length. She felt warm and inviting, unlike any other before. She felt... just right.

Spencer, on the other hand, could only think of how full she felt as he stretched her insides; how her clit rubbed against the hard skin of his stomach; how his hands gripped her hips. It was an immeasurable amount of pleasure and stimulation all at once.

But once she started moving, neither of them thought they would be able to hold on for much longer. She could already feel her walls clenching around his cock and the thread of the finish threatening to snap.

"Fuck, you're so tight," Paul groaned. "You feel so good."

All Spencer gave in response was a moan as she bounced on him, setting an increasing pace. She reveled in the feeling of him filling her and leaving her as she chased their release. That was the only thing running through her head. Keep going until they were both satiated.

Paul joined her, his hips thrusting into her at the rhythm she had set. He moved expertly, holding both of their weights as if it was nothing. His hands roamed her body, learning every curvature and inch of her skin. He committed to memory the image of her as she was. The way she clenched her eyes shut, the way her breast rose and fell as she breathed, the pink hue that colored her cheeks, her hands tussled in her hair. The pure image of perfection.

"I'm close," she moaned. "So close."

"Me too, fuck. Me too."

He gripped her hips almost painfully, stopping her movements, allowing him to flip their positions. He pounded into her at a punishing pace, her legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer to her as every thrust he made stimulated her clit and got her a second closer to her climax.

As she felt the coil inside her finally break, she pulled his face to hers, crashing her lips onto his to stifle the scream of pleasure that was threatening to break free. She could feel her release pooling around Paul's latex-covered cock.

Paul kept thrusting into Spencer as she came down from her orgasm. His pace had not died down and he thrust in and out faster and faster chasing the sweet feeling of his climax. Spencer had been taken care of and his finish was the only thing on his mind now.

As much as he wanted to hold on, Paul could feel the thread of his arousal threatening to snap. A couple of more thrusts and he could fill himself filling the latex with his release. With her lips still on his, every moan and groan he wanted to breathe out was muffled.

Once he softened, he collapsed next to her, his back once more on the rough rug. He extended his arm and pulled the throw blanket that was on the couch and covered them both, snaking a hand under her to cuddle her onto him.

"That was..." she breathed onto his chest as he brushed her hair back. "That was something."

"It was," he chuckled. "Was it what you were hoping for?"

"Oh, yes," she grinned. "Seriously, thanks, Paul. You were... honestly, you were great."

"Any time," he smiled. "Now I know what to get you for your birthday next week."

"Oh, absolutely not," she said as she looked up at him. "We're not having sex as a birthday gift, dude."

"I'm joking," Paul defended. "I'm not getting you just sex."

"You better not. It's gonna be my first big thing since everything went down," she sighed. "And it's my first birthday back at the rez so I want it to be special."

"It will be, trust me on that."

"What do you know, Paul Lahote?"

"I'm not supposed to say," he quickly said. "Sam would kill me."

"So could I," she retorted. "What're you guys planning?"

"Just trust me when I tell you you're gonna love it."

"Fine, I'll give it a rest because I'm tired, but I've got the whole week to coax it out of you."

"Yeah," he laughed. "How do you plan to do that?"

"I have my ways," she grinned mischievously before teasing a kiss over his lips. "I have irresistible ways."

Paul raised his head to meet her lips, but the second he got close enough to feel the soft skin, she drew back. She held all the cards in their relationship, and, at that moment, he was fine with that. As he threw his head back in laughter and hugged her closer to his body, he told himself that he was the one that was holding her in his arms.

***

He had finally gotten new information on her. After months of waiting for that call, he'd finally learn something new. He could hear that she was doing well without him. That his leaving with his family was the best thing for her.

"So, she's doing okay?" Carlisle asked as relief washed over him. "Spencer's moving on?"

"In a way," Theo responded. She found it hard to speak the right words, and she knew he could sense she was holding back. "She's trying to do something almost impossible, but she's going to med school."

"What is she trying to do?"

"She wants to convince UW to let her skip the first two years of med school and take the Step 1 test to jump into the third year," she relayed. "She wants to use the fact that she's already been working at the hospital for a while, her MCAT score, and all her previous experiences to make a case for herself."

"I'll make some calls. If there's anyone that can do it, it's her."

"Carlisle, you shouldn't meddle in her life. You don't get to do that anymore."

He knew he shouldn't. Carlisle knew all he was no longer allowed to do. Not now that he had broken her heart and pushed her aside. But it wouldn't have been the first time he did something he should not have. "She deserves this," he said. "She should be able to do everything she desires. And if I can help get her there, then I will. No matter what.

"But, Carlisle, she... What if she finds out? What if Spencer knows that somehow you had a hand in this?"

"That's a risk I'm willing to take," he responded. "She deserves more than what I was able to give her."

Theo simply nodded. "It's also her birthday next week."

"I know," he smiled sadly. "I had been planning a surprise for her at the start of September, when everything was still okay."

"I'm so sorry, Carlisle. I know you would much rather be there with her."

"It's quite alright. I have to make peace with the decision I've made. It doesn't matter now. The damage has been done and she had every right to pass the page."

"Still, I can imagine just how much it must hurt. You love her."

"I do " he agreed. "I will love Spencer even after my last day on this Earth. But what I've done to her... it's unforgivable."

"Well, I hope one day your heart will mend. And I hope the same for her," Theo smiled softly. "That's my wish for you, old friend."

"Thank you, Theo but I don't see how it will without her," he confessed. His amber eyes were filled with sorrow as he thought of everything he let go of. "Now, tell me. What are you holding back?"

"Wh-what're you talking about? I told you everything I saw."

"Theo, I've known you far too long to not know your tells. What are you keeping from me?"

The girl bit down on her lower lip, despair clawing at her throat as she looked for anything to dig herself out of the information she knew. "She's also kind of moved on romantically," she answered meekly. "She's found someone else."

"Who?" He didn't need to ask. The answer had been weighing heavy on his heart. He knew the logical response, and Spencer was nothing if not logical. "Is it her friend, Paul Lahote?"

"Yes," she answered, her voice barely a whisper. "But it's a no-strings kind of thing. I think she stil..."

"I don't need the sympathy, dear friend," he smiled softly. Suddenly, the ground was far more interesting than Theo's gaze. "It would have happened sooner or later. I have no claim to her. Not anymore."

"What will you do now, Carlisle?" Theo worried. "I can tell you haven't been feeding enough."

"I will do what I have to do in order to live with the things I have done."

"Please take care, friend. There are still people out there that care for you."

"Always appreciate the concern," he chuckled. "But I'm doing what I have to."