Chapter 17

It wasn't hard to figure out that Sam was planning a surprise party for her, especially when Jared had let it slip when she was over at her brother's home. Accident or not, Spencer knew just what had been arranged for her 19th birthday.

"I swear, Sam. I had no idea she was here," Jared had said.

"Don't you have supernatural senses, Cameron?" Spencer laughed. "You should have known about it."

"I'm not supposed to be on guard when we're in the house," he whined. "This is the place where we're supposed to be relaxed and unaware. This is our safe space."

"Technically, you should always be paying attention to your surroundings," Sam responded. "That's literally your job."

"Also, when is she not here, dude?" Paul added with a chuckle. "If she's not at work, she's here."

"I have other friends," she grumbled, settling on the seat next to Paul. "Speaking of, are they invited to my party?"

"They would be if it weren't for Paul," Jared teased. "Can't trust him not to go off at any given point when there are other people involved."

"So, it's only gonna be you guys, Emily and Kim? What a party," Spencer laughed. "What about mom? Is she invited?"

Sam's face contorted in an uncomfortable scowl. He knew the question would come. The obvious tension that existed between Sam and Allison Uley had been growing for almost a year, and the youngest Uley's arrival only worked to cement the strain that had grown between mother and son.

"Okay, here's what we can do," Sam started. "We'll have the party at the beach. A nice bonfire in a big open space where everyone can be. Paul will be on his best behavior and if anything happens, we'll just leave."

"Why does everything have to be so weird now?" she groaned. "This whole secret keeping just makes things harder."

"Says the girl whose ex is a literal bloodsucker," Jared chuckled without thinking. But as soon as he heard the words slip by his tongue, regret painted across his face. "Shit, Spence, I didn't mean to say that."

"It's fine, Jared," she smiled comfortingly. "You're very right. It's completely flabbergasting that my ex and his whole family are vampires. But I guess I dodged that bullet."

After that afternoon, the Uley pack had set to prepare for Spencer's first birthday back at the reservation. Everyone in town was happy to attend the bonfire. It was no secret that the Uley girl was loved around town. Even in her absence, all anyone could sing were high praises for her. So it was no surprise when the RSVPs started rolling in.

Quickly, the small gathering had turned into a party for the whole reservation. People were offering to bring plates of food and appetizers for the crowd that was forming, they offered their grilling and bonfire-making services, swiftly making Sam's job simply inviting people and setting the time.

And somehow in the four days that were left, a whole town party was being set up. It was a stark contrast to the bonfire that had been set only two months before when the Cullens had left Forks. That one had been a fierce celebration as their ancestral enemies had finally left the land. Now, they were celebrating the life of one of their own — her achievements and her future endeavors. A joyous occasion in honor of a valuable member of their community.

At least, it was meant to be joyous, and Spencer knew that. She knew she should have been excited to be amongst her people. The same people that had seen her grow and had grown alongside her. The very people she knew she could count on whenever she might need them. She knew all that.

But it was such a bittersweet moment. She was constantly surrounded by people that loved her, but there was something missing. There was someone missing.

He had come into her life and, in so little time, he flipped it on its feet. He had made her believe that every decision, every moment, every second of her existence had led her to that instance —had led her to him.

And as swiftly as he had barreled into her life, he was fine. He had taken every promise, every declaration, every whisper of love with him. And it had left her with an emptiness that couldn't be filled by anyone else. Spencer could only focus on herself —her career, her friendship, her family. But never again would she focus on love. Not when she knew how it could drastically transform her journey.

"Hi, honey," her mother said as she peeked into her room. She had been staring at her reflection for what felt like hours, even if she knew it had barely been minutes. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks, mom," she smiled. "So do you."

Allison had chosen a long dark red dress, her black jacket toning down the color even more. She had braided her hair and had put on makeup, but Spencer could see the years on her face. She could see having to raise two children on her own, having to work two jobs to keep the lights on, the pain of losing her son, the knowledge that one day she could lose her daughter as well. It was all the secrets and the hardships that she had gone through, that her family had put her through.

Those were the moments when Spencer wanted to tell her everything, every single detail that had derailed her mother's life without her knowledge. She wanted to confess that she wasn't alone in her pain, that the hurt she had carried most of her life was shared between each of the Uley family members. Instead, all she could do was remain quiet.

"Are you excited for tonight?"

"For the most part," Spencer admitted. "It might be just a tad overwhelming. Heard through the grapevine that almost the whole rez is gonna be there."

"You've gone to many bonfires, honey," she chuckled. "What's different about this one?"

"That I'm the guest of honor, mom," the girl chuckled softly. "I'm gonna be the center of attention and that feels weird."

"Well, I'll be right there next to you, holding your hand."

"Thanks, mom. I would never be where I am without you."

Her mother smiled brightly, wrapping her arms around her tightly. "Oh, sweetheart that's all you," she said. "You've gotten this far because you're bright and talented, and so hardworking."

"And because I've had a mom that made all of that possible," Spencer added. "I love you, mom."

"I love you too, honey, more than you could ever know," Allison smiled as she released her daughter. "And I have something for you. I wanna do it here, where it's just you and me."

The woman reached into her pocket, pulled out a black box, and handed it to her daughter. She followed expectantly every move, excitement filling her. Inside rested a crescent moon pendant that was engraved. As soon as her eyes fell on the necklace, tears formed in the corner of the girl's eyes.

"Is this your pendant, mom?"

"Yes, honey," she smiled. "It had been my mother's, and her mother's before her, and so on. I have been holding onto it until I felt it was time to pass it down to you. And I think there is no better time than now."

"Oh, mom, you have no idea how much I've wanted this necklace," Spencer said. "But I've always wondered, what do the markings mean?"

"After hardship comes ease," her mother responded. "It's what my mother would always say and I know how much you might need that reassurance now. Hard times pass, my darling. Even if it doesn't feel that way right now."

"I know, mom," the younger Uley breathed, melting into her mother's touch as Allison placed a comforting hand on her cheek. "I just wish that time came sooner rather than later."

"Give time to time, Spencer. We can't rush things."

"I know," she sighed. "And I'm trying. I really am."

"I'm sure of that, my darling," Allison said. "But tonight is about you and not about what has happened or has stopped happening. We're gonna celebrate your birthday and forget these past couple of months. Use tonight as your time to unwind and prepare yourself for what comes next."

"I will. I just need a couple of minutes to finish getting ready."

"Alright, honey. Let me know when you're done and we'll go down to the beach."

As soon as her mother was out of the room, Spencer went back to perceiving herself. She stared at the bags that had formed under her eyes, the long restless nights evident on her face. Her fingers traced where her cheeks had seemed to hollow after months of terrible eating habits. She gawked at the lost gleam in her eyes, the emptiness that peeked behind her pupils.

She was a completely different girl than the one that had come back to La Push, and in a few months, she would be another her. There was a Spencer before him. There was a Spencer during him. And there would now be a Spencer after him. Even if she had not planned for it, she would have to do it.

"It's now or never," she whispered to herself.

As she left her room, Spencer gave herself a once over. She smoothed down her navy-blue dress and put on a jacket. She was determined to put every sad thought, every bad moment to the back of her mind. He would never again be the reason she wouldn't enjoy life.

Before she could reach the beach, she could hear the whispered commotion. Even if she knew the party was happening, she was still surprised. Where she was expecting a small group of her friends, it seemed like the whole town had come out to celebrate. As soon as she was close enough, everyone turned and yelled, "Surprise!"

Everyone she knew welcomed her with a smile on their face. People came up to her wishing her a happy birthday and telling her how glad they were she was back home. Even Charlie Swan had popped in for a bit, congratulating her and asking if she'd go by to see Bella. They gave her hugs and kisses, wishing her blessings for the coming years. It was the warmth of a community that she had not felt for four years, giving her a feeling of belonging she had no idea she craved.

"I think more people turned up to your birthday than for the last community bonfire," Paul said as he joined her side and sat on a piece of driftwood. The party was in full swing already. Plates of food had been passed out, children were playing, teenagers were talking, and the pack was keeping to themselves. "Hope you were still surprised."

"I was," Spencer smiled. "Didn't think many people would care. I mean, it's just my birthday. Not even a huge milestone. Just nineteen."

"I think you're underestimating just how much the people here love you. And any year is a milestone in my book," he offered. "You made it another year. That's an accomplishment in itself."

"I also got approved by the board at UW to start taking aptitude tests," she confessed. "I'll spend the better part of December and January taking all kinds of exams to be able to slide into the next round of rotations."

"Holy shit, Spence, that's amazing!" Paul exclaimed as he twirled her in a tight hug. "It's almost a miracle."

"I know," she added. "I don't know what out there in the universe is looking out for me, but I'm glad it is. I honestly thought it would never happen. But I got the call yesterday afternoon. It's really happening."

"Well, they're lucky to have you. I can't think of anyone that would be a better doctor than you."

"You're just saying that, Paul," she chuckled. "But I'm thankful for that vote of confidence. I'm just glad things seem to be moving forward. I really thought I'd be stuck in the same place for a while there."

"I knew you'd make it out eventually," he smiled. "Also, I got you something. And I promise it's not sex coupons. I know I can get that for free."

"You're about to get those privileges revoked if you keep talking like that," she laughed in response. "But I'll grant you that comment because it seems Sam did not hear you."

Paul laughed loudly, making a few heads snap back toward them. "But it's something serious," he continued as he handed her a wrapped box that had been resting by his feet. "It took me a while to get it, but I hope you like it."

Spencer took hold of the box, carefully ripping away the neat wrapping paper —a job she was sure had been done by Emily. Inside the box, in perfect condition and wrapped in plastic, was a first edition of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. She ran her hands over the cover. She studied the spine. She inspected every single detail of the book, and it was perfect.

"Oh my god, Paul, it's absolutely beautiful," she joyfully cried. "But this must have cost you an arm and a leg. You shouldn't have spent that on me."

"I wanted to," he beamed. "I know how much you like books so I asked Kim if she could help me get you something special."

"It's more than special, Paul. It's a one-of-a-kind gift," she smiled as she engulfed him in a hug. "I love it so much."

"It's as special a gift as you are," he continued. Paul raised his hand to her cheek, tucking behind her ear a loose piece of hair. "Also, you look beautiful tonight. I don't think I've told you that yet."

"Thanks," she replied, feeling the unnatural warmth of his skin seep onto hers. "I'm glad you're here, Paul. And I'm grateful that you're my friend."

"For better or worse, Spence," Paul added. "You know I'll always be by your side."

"You better mean that, dude. Cause I'll hold you to it."

"So will I," Sam's voice startled them. "You might be a part of my pack, but that's my little sister right there."

"By a couple of months at best, Sammy," Spencer grumbled. "And I can handle myself perfectly. Thank you very much."

"Doesn't mean I won't always be looking out for you, Spence," he smiled. "Now, come on. It's time for cake."

The rest of the night went by quickly. They sang her happy birthday, they passed around cake, and they told stories by the fire. The same stories she had heard since she was just a little kid. The same stories that related the lives of the ancestors of their tribe. The same stories she knew were anything but fiction.

One second, she was staring at the figures that were dancing in the fire, showing her the past. The next, she was heading back home, a heap of presents overfilling her arms. "I'm so tired," Spencer whined to her mother. "I could sleep for two weeks if I could."

"Unfortunately, you can't," Allison chuckled. "But at least you've got the rest of this week."

They laughed in unison, knowing that the least she would do was actually rest. The only time she would probably have a full night's rest was that night and it would have been out of pure social exhaustion.

But mother and daughter stopped dead in their tracks when they reached the front door of their house. Right in front of the wooden door were three presents elegantly wrapped in silver paper, the same paper she had seen days before her world fell apart.

"I'm guessing those are for you," her mother said. "Do you know who could have sent them?"

"Maybe they're from the team at the hospital," Spencer thought quickly. "They couldn't make it tonight because they were pulling double shifts."

"That was nice of them," Allison responded, accepting her daughter's answer. "That wrapping paper is beautiful."

"Yeah," she choked out. "Can you help me bring them up to my room, please?"

"Of course, darling." The woman took the three boxes under one arm and opened the door before following her daughter up the stairs. "Alright, Spence. Well, I'm going to bed because I have an early shift tomorrow and I'm pretty beat. But, happy birthday, sweetheart."

"Thanks, mom. Good night."

"Night, honey."

Allison left the room, shutting the door behind her and Spencer felt she could finally let go. She felt her blood run cold inside her body, her limbs trembling at the realization of just who had sent those presents. Even though they had ripped themselves from her life, they somehow kept appearing.

With shaking hands, she opened the first gift that was tagged with a note that said From Rosalie. It was a leather notebook, the cover engraved with the words: Dr. Spencer Uley. And on the first page, in beautiful calligraphy, she wrote: I may not be the one who sees the future, but I know you have a bright future ahead of you. Love, Rose.

The next one was labeled From The Cullens. It was a small black box that stored a necklace with the Cullen crest engraved onto a circle charm –small and modern. And it was attached to a note that said: Already part of the family.

Spencer could feel the warm tears stream down her cheeks. Her lungs ached at the shortness of air, filling as best as they could as she sobbed quietly. She knew the gifts weren't sent with malice. A high probability that they had been ordered long before everything had gone awry. But it didn't stop the wrenching of her heart.

There was only one box left and she knew exactly who it was from. She took the long box in her hand, ripping away the paper violently. She was surprised that it had some weight to it, her mind trying to anticipate what could have been inside before she raised the lid.

On a bed of sating rested a silver stethoscope with blue rubber. Engraved on the instrument's bell, in beautiful cursive letters, it read: Dr. Uley-Cullen. In addition, a card that read For our future.

Those couple of words completely broke Spencer down. She fell to her knees, feeling as if the weight of the past few months fell upon her. She muffled her shrieks with her pillow, not wanting to alarm her mother.

Suddenly, everything she thought she had started to get over rose to the surface and hollowness filled her core. As the tears kept falling, she could feel the painful hole in her chest grow deeper and deeper.

He had planned a future for them. A future where she was a part of their family. A future where they would take on the world, together. Yet he had thrown it all away in a second, without another thought. Without ever looking back. He had built everything so high to let it all topple down.

He had left her to pick up the pieces of her broken heart and rebuild a life on her own. And that was the only thing she would allow him to have. She would create a life for herself, by herself, and she would prove to him that she was bigger than her heartbreak.