Chapter 9

The next day, Spencer found herself lying to her mother about how she had gotten hurt. A tumble down in the woods was enough to satisfy Allison Uley's questions as to why her daughter had a bandaged arm. She reminded her to be careful and to apply the antibiotic ointment onto her wound to ensure its protection.

For the coming days, Spencer managed to avoid having her mother looking at the wound, disappearing to Sam's house to get her bandage changed. She knew if her mother ever caught sight of the severity of the accident, she'd never be allowed to leave the house ever again.

But she had been enjoying spending time with her brother again. While their mother was at work, Spencer would consume the hours of the day at Sam's house. During her visits, not only did she learn more about the supernatural world and her brother's role in it, but she was also growing close to Emily.

There was no question that Sam and Emily were meant to be together. Their story had not been a fairytale – a string of pain and disillusionment had tied itself to them. At the end of the day, their love is what kept them together. Nobody would have been able to detect the tumultuous beginnings of their entanglement. Emily complimented Spencer's brother perfectly, adding a tempered aura to his chaotic life.

Yet what Spencer had been most grateful for Emily was her advice. The older woman had taken the role of playing devil's advocate to Spencer's thoughts, giving another side to Carlisle's actions – much to Sam's dismay. As much as he had badmouthed vampires and all the trouble they brought, Emily told her sister-in-law to listen to her heart.

"Spence, we've been debating the same thing for days now," Emily chuckled brightly. "There's not much else to discuss. I'll continue saying what I have: listen to your heart."

"It's just, logically, a person that can so easily lie to you is bound to do it in the future," Spencer exasperated. "What if I give him another chance and he hurts me again?"

"I say you should just break up with him altogether," Paul chimed nonchalantly. He sat balancing a chair on its hind legs and munching on pieces of a chocolate muffin. "It's not like he can give you much out of life if we're honest."

"Paul, no one asked you to chime in," Emily reprimanded. "But in the matters of the heart, logic simply doesn't work. Now, whether you want to or not, you're going to see him tomorrow to get those stitches out – Sue isn't back yet. What will you do then? Don't think too much, just the first thing that comes to your head."

"I'd probably forgive him." Spencer threw her head into her hands, letting out a loud groan. "I'm pathetic!"

"A little bit."

"Why don't you check if Sam and Jared need you, Paul," Emily scolded the younger boy. It was evident that he was starting to annoy her. Paul shrugged and left the house, the closing screen door announcing his departure. "You're not pathetic, darling. You're in love, and there's nothing wrong with forgiving him. The information Carlisle had to keep from you was something he had to keep from everyone to ensure his family's safety. Have you given some thought to what would have happened if he had revealed it at the early stages of your relationship – how would you have reacted?"

"Gods, I don't know. I haven't given it any mind."

"I know that when I was exposed to all of this I was slightly taken aback. But I fell in love with Sam regardless of what he is," she smiled. "And, if I'm honest, the Cullens are by far better than any other vampire – they only feed on animals, not humans. Do you love him, Spence?"

"I do," Spencer sighed.

"Enough to renounce to a future you might have dreamed of?"

"More than I thought I could anyone."

"It seems your mind is more made up than you thought," Emily beamed. "Don't doubt your heart, Spencer. You must believe that things will work out in the end."

"I'm just scared," she finally admitted. "I felt so angry and betrayed – I'd never felt that way in my life. Granted, he's my first everything when it comes to relationships, but I am sure that I love him."

"Then, go to him. You've already lost so much time being apart."

"I have to go there tomorrow either way..."

"Spencer," Emily warned. "Go."

"Sometimes you're really bossy."

"You'll thank me later," she laughed. "I'll tell Sam you had to go. Call me afterward, okay?"

"Will do!"

Spencer walked back to her house, changed quickly into a light blue wrap dress, and ran a brush through her hair. She felt giddy, kind of like she had the day of their first date. Although, this time there was a knot in the pit of her stomach. Could she truly accept abandoning a life she had dreamed of, even possibly becoming a vampire herself?

As she put the finishing touches on the makeup she had been doing she thought back to her mom. Allison wouldn't say so, but being estranged from her son was killing her. By choosing to be with Carlisle she was setting the route to two outcomes: she abandons her mother, or she tells the truth, opening the way for a plethora of consequences.

But all her worries dissipated as the screen on her phone lit up with a message from Emily.

Follow your heart.

And that's what she did.

Spencer hopped into her truck and sped all the way to Forks. Her heart was beating hard on her chest, and she was sure that the vampires in the house would be able to hear it over the engine of the car. She was surprised when no one exited the house as she killed the car, hoping Carlisle would somehow be waiting for her outside, arms outstretched.

She needed a few minutes to gather her courage though. She remained in the car, calming herself down with deep breathing and rereading Emily's message. All that stood between her and the man she loved was a wooden door.

With trembling hands, she knocked softly on the door and waited for whoever would be the immortal that opened it. Surprisingly, it was not Carlisle.

"Oh, hello, Spencer! We weren't expecting you today."

"Hi, Esme," she smiled back at the black-haired woman. "Actually, I came to talk to Carlisle, and might as well take advantage of the trip and get my stitches out."

"Well, he went out for a bit but I'm sure he'll be back any second now," she announced. "Why don't you come in and wait for him in his office."

"Sounds good." Spencer followed the woman inside and into the room, sitting quietly on his office chair.

"How have you been, Spencer?"

The question startled her. She was not anticipating a conversation with the mother figure of the Cullens. "I've been good."

"Correct to suggest you have been racking your brain about how it's possible for the supernatural to exist?" She chuckled, and Spencer nodded. "We have all been there. It's a difficult thing to wrap your head around. It gets you questioning everything around you, even your own existence."

"The hardest part, I think for me, was knowing how easy it was for you all to hide it. I mean, I grew up with the stories – believing they were just that – and never hypothesized that you were the ones the elders spoke of. I guess I felt blindsided by the whole ordeal."

"I hope you know that Carlisle only wanted to protect you," Esme implored. "Bringing you into this world is opening a pandora's box none of us can control. But revealing the truth was his way of showing you how serious he is about your relationship. Whatever you have decided, I hope you take into account how much he truly loves you."

"Thank you, Esme," Spencer smiled. "I have."

"Alright then, I can hear his car parking. So, I'll get the kids out of the house. That way you can have some privacy." Esme stopped before closing the door behind her. "You both deserve happiness, Spencer. And I hope it's with each other."

The door clicked softly, and Spencer was left to bask with those words for a couple of seconds. It was comforting to know that she had a web of support when it came to her relationship. It only helped to fortify her decision toward reunification.

She didn't spend too much time inside her head as the door opened once more and Carlisle finally peeked his head in. His eyes softened when he saw Spencer, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He entered the room cautiously, trying to decipher what she would be talking to him about.

"Hello, Carlisle." Spencer was the first to speak. "I hope you don't mind I came early to have my stitches removed. Sue's still not back to the rez."

"Oh, of course," he muttered. "You can sit on the chair, and I'll get my instruments."

She made her way to the chair she had sat on last week, following Carlisle as he searched in the cupboard for his medical bag. There was an awkward ambiance surrounding them, neither acknowledging the inevitable conversation they needed to have.

"The wound is healing nicely," Carlisle commented. "Have you experienced any increased pain, oozing, swelling – any signs of infection?"

"None at all. I've been taking good care of the wound."

Carlisle let out a sound of agreeance and quickly got to work. He avoided Spencer's gaze, feeling her eyes following his every move. She flinched when his cold hands touched her skin, taken aback by the temperature. He apologized softly and removed the stitches at record speed.

"Carlisle," Spencer called earning a sightless acknowledgment. "Carlisle, can you please look at me?"

Dark eyes met hers, the vision of hunger staring back at her. Sam had told her the signs – dark-colored eyes, pronounced dark circles under them, and his cheeks slightly sunken. She knew he had been torturing himself this whole time, abstaining from feeding in a way of penance.

Spencer couldn't help the tears that pricked her eyes. Her left hand landed on his cheek, softly stroking the face of the man. Carlisle closed his eyes and leaned into her, missing the touch of her skin on his, finally breathing in her scent. Nine days had felt like an eternity without her. Growing used to her presence, he believed he'd never be able to continue without her.

"Oh darling," she cooed. Spencer inspected his face closely, running her fingers across his face. She traced his jaw, his pronounced cheekbones, and finally his eyes. Long gone were the golden eyes she had fallen for, black ones stared back. "What have you done to yourself?"

"I thought I had lost you, Spencer," Carlisle sobbed. "I should have never lied to you, but I was scared if I told you from the beginning you wouldn't want to be with me. I know I hurt you and I can't tell you how sorry I am for any pain I cause you – you deserve better than me."

"Carlisle, stop. I was stunned," she confessed. "When the truth was finally revealed I think I was aghast that the image I had conjured of a future with you was shattered. Then, my brother's identity was revealed, and my life became a whirlwind. I am a woman of science – facts – and being faced with the supernatural world distorted everything I believed as fact."

"I know and, in hindsight, I probably would have revealed all of this in the beginning, allowing you to decide if you wanted to invest your life into this life."

"We can't dwell on what we could have done," Spencer consoled him, using her hands to focus his eyesight on hers. "I understand why you did what you did – your family's safety should always be your priority. But I am glad you told me now. Had it not been for your candor I probably would have lost you and my brother to a secret, and I think that would have been even more devastating than this. I may not understand everything that is happening, but what I am sure of is how much I love you and am willing to renounce to what could have been for what we have now."

"Are you serious?" Carlisle's eyes widened. He had never known this feeling well spending his time as a human under his father's shadow, then wasting his time in the pursuit of knowledge and healing. He had no time for love – he didn't know he had been waiting for her. "I don't want you to do something you might regret later on, Spencer. You deserve the world, my love."

"I don't want to experience it without you, Carlisle. I am sure of my decision," she smiled. "I love you far too much to ever lose you. And if forever is the price to pay, then so be it."

Carlisle's face beamed with a smile from ear to ear. His hands snaked themselves around her hips, lifting her from the chair and wrapping her in a tight embrace. Spencer giggled at the feeling of being raised in the air, circling his neck with her own arms. Looking up at her face, Carlisle closed the distance between their faces and placed a tentative kiss on her lips. He wasn't sure this was happening. His mind had played enough tricks on him that past week he couldn't determine with certainty this wasn't a sleepless dream. But as Spencer reciprocated the kiss, using her arms as leverage to press harder against him, he knew it was reality. Dreams never returned passion, never returned love.

"I'm sorry it took me this long to come back," she broke the kiss. "I wanted to come back since that day, but my mind won over my heart. I just..."

"Needed to play out all possible outcomes?" He chuckled at her bashfulness. "I would expect nothing less from future Doctor Uley."

"Doctor Uley, huh? Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

"It really does," he grinned.

"Well, we'll see," Spencer chuckled. "I have to get through this medical assistant certification first – only two more weeks – and then I can toy with the idea of becoming a doctor. And you have to go feed now. I want the eyes that I fell for back."

"Your wish is my command, my love," Carlisle gleamed. "Will you be here when I get back?"

"Most probably."

"Well then, I'll try not to take long." With another kiss to her lips, Spencer watched as Carlisle disappeared into the woods in a split second.

She wasn't sure when the tears had sprouted again. But as she stared out of the enormous windows, Spencer felt the warm liquid falling down her cheeks. She was certain in her resolve – she loved Carlisle too much to let him go – but a sliver of her still battled her decision. Was she truly ready to leave behind the life she knew, her family and friends, for the man she loved?

"It's scary, isn't it?" A soft voice startled her. "This world can be."

"What do you mean, Rosalie?"

"You're wondering if love is worth relinquishing your mortality," she smiled, joining Spencer's side. "One can fall in love many times throughout a lifetime – you're pondering if the love you feel for him is strong enough to endure eternity."

"Am I right to guess these are questions that ran through your own head, then?"

"They did," Rosalie smiled softly. "But it was too late for me. I didn't get the choice to keep my mortality."

"How so? If you don't mind telling your story."

Rosalie invited Spencer to sit next to her, preparing herself to relate the sad tale of her shift once more. "When I was younger, I used to think life was so long," she chuckled. "Had I known that eternity would be my trajectory, I like to think I'd have appreciated it more. My whole human life I was obsessed with looks – my appearance, my money, my status. I wanted the best things out of life, no matter what. And I was getting it. Somehow, I had become engaged to the most sought-after bachelor, Royce King II. I was sure I had my life made then. I didn't love him, but I loved what her represented – a nice, comfortable life.

But one week before we were to be wed, he had gone out with his friends and indulged in an alcoholic binge. I was just walking home from visiting a friend when I happened upon them. He started grabbing me, boasting to his companions of my beauty. I hadn't known what a heavy drinker he was... nor how violent he could become."

Rosalie's words got stuck in her throat thinking back to that night. What a life of pain and torture could she have avoided had she known then what she knew now.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want, Rosalie," Spencer comforted. "You don't have to relive that."

"It's alright," the blonde reassured. "They all had their way with me that night. Between their bodies and their fists, I have no recollection of what came first. But once they had each taken their helpings, they left me for dead on the street. Heaven knows how long I laid on the ground before Carlisle found me. If he hadn't turned me then, I would not be here telling you my story."

"I'm so sorry, Rosalie. No one deserves that."

"Thank you, Spencer," she smiled sadly. "I got my revenge. Ending their lives one by one, leaving Royce for last. But it didn't take away the pain. I had dreams – a family, a white picket fence... growing old. That night ripped everything away from me. On the one hand, I am grateful that I am still here, able to live for so many years to come. On the other, I still grieve the possibility of ever having the life I dreamed of. If I would have been given a choice, I would have stayed a human."

"Why are you telling me this, Rosalie? Why not Bella? She's spent more time with Edward and your family."

"I can tell you doubt the idea of living for eternity. Bella embraced the thought as soon as it was confirmed," she scoffed, but there was no ill will behind her words. "Resigning to a human life is renouncing to everything that can make life worth living. It's made up of little moments, and once you have eternity, those little moments become dust collectors in your memories. Your family, your friends, the people you meet along the way – everything becomes a grain of sand on the shore. Is loving Carlisle worth all that?"

"It almost sounds like you don't want me to choose him," she chuckled dryly.

"No, I-I..."

"I'm kidding, Rosalie. I understand what you're saying," Spencer smiled. "I understand your warning. I can tell you don't want me as a human to miss out willingly on the life you did. I don't know how my decision today will affect the rest of my life. But for now, I'm allowing myself to embrace the now. Who knows what will happen tomorrow?"

"Then I hope you take this into consideration once you're standing at that crossroads." Rosalie stood. She was glad her words would not fall onto deaf ears. She knew her coldness at the beginning came off as hate, but what she felt was anger laced with envy. Two humans had infiltrated the Cullen clan, one with no attachment to her humanity and the other questioning. "I hope you appreciate the fact that you have that choice."

"I do, Rosalie," she sighed. "I really do."