Chapter 10

The time spent apart had soon been forgotten by Carlisle and Spencer. They resumed their relationship as if those two weeks had never occurred – the only reminder were the slowly healing scars forming on her forearm. The greatest difference was that Spencer's curiosity for the supernatural had been pricked. She had become overly interested in the world her boyfriend and her brother were a part of.

In reality, she felt she needed all intel available to her regarding the life she could partake in on a future date. Rosalie's words marinated in her head constantly. As much as she loved Carlisle, she was young, and – although she hadn't given it much thought in the past – Spencer wasn't sure she could grieve a future she could still have. The question that seemed to trample over all others: was her love for Carlisle stronger than her desire for an unknown future?

Most days she pushed her questions down, choosing to spend her time with Carlisle enjoying the present moment.

The pair were laying on the bed Carlisle had bought recently. The pitter-patter of the rain against the window was working to work the human girl to sleep, the circles he was drawing on her back only adding to the feeling.

"It's weird that you don't sleep," she mumbled. Spencer's eyes were growing heavier as she talked, her blinking getting slower by the second. "What do you do at night?"

"Well, normally I would read or catch up on cases from the hospital," he started. "Now I, I still read, but I also enjoy listening to your heartbeat as I do."

"You watch me sleep?"

"Sometimes," Carlisle confessed with a smile. "Mostly I just like to listen to your heartbeat, your steady breathing, and the sporadic nonsense you mutter at times. It's... calming."

"I talk in my sleep?" I giggled. "It's the first time anyone has said anything. What do I say?"

"Not much, darling. It truly is just nonsensical mutterings."

"Mmm," she muttered. Her eyes had fluttered close, her breathing slowing and evening out.

It had been a tiring day for the both of them, more Spencer than Carlisle. The emergency room had run rampant with flu and cold cases, allergy season running its hand through the town. As back-to-school slowly commenced, contagious illnesses were being passed around like a one-dollar bill. Case after case had trickled into the white walls of the hospital, filling the air with coughs and sniffles. The only time Spencer had gotten a break was for a twenty-minute lunch Carlisle had joined her on.

Spencer's feet were tired, her back was sore, and, if she was honest, her throat was feeling a bit scratchy. The last thing she wanted was to be sick but working at a hospital there was always going to be a high probability of contracting any illness. Even if she took all precautions, the stats just weren't on her side.

"Good night, Spence," Carlisle whispered to Spencer's sleeping body. He slipped out of the bed, pulling the white sheets to keep her body covered. "I love you."

At nights, Carlisle would often sneak out of bed. Since he did not need sleep, staying in the room was useless. He preferred utilizing the hours of the night to catch up on the never-ending files from the hospital or going down his endless list of books to read. Passing the time with mindless activities was something he was masterly adept at.

Sometimes he'd sit in front of the fireplace in his office and imagine a life he could've had. He would let his gaze blur on the flames as his brain concocted images of an alternate universe in which he was still human; where he could be the age he actually was and age as time went on; where he met Spencer as a just-out-of-school doctor, maybe they'd even meet in med school; where Spencer and he would have a long and beautiful relationship together; where they got married; where they had a couple of kids; where they grew old together, happily.

Carlisle had long ago desisted of his mortal life. He'd grown comfortable in the life he had built for himself. He had convinced himself that the little family he had was enough, that they would always be enough. Taking care of the kids alongside Esme as his platonic partner was enough. But meeting Spencer had him reminiscing on the times when he was sure his life was temporary.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Esme peaked her head through the big doors of Carlisle's office, breaking the man out of his daze. "Everything okay, Carlisle?"

"Oh, Esme," Carlisle spoke, surprisingly startled. "I was just thinking."

"I could tell," she chuckled. Rounding his desk, she took a seat on the armchair next to Carlisle's. "Tell me what's on your mind, Carlisle."

"What am I doing, Esme?"

"In what context?"

"With Spencer. What am I doing with Spencer?" He sighed, running his hands across his face to wipe away any sign of frustration. "I don't know how Edward can do this."

"Carlisle..."

"I'm giving her a life sentence, robbing her of her time as we meander in this relationship, no certainty in sight. She deserves better than that... better than me." Carlisle paused for a second, taking a breath he didn't need. His mind was working a million miles a second, reeling any and all possible scenarios. "I've been thinking about what life could have been had I never been bitten, had life continued on its designated path."

"You would be long gone by now."

"I would have married, probably would've had a bunch of kids, grown old."

"But you would have never met Spencer. Or any of us for that matter," Esme smiled. "It has never done us any good to dwell on unreachable futures. Our lives may not look like what we imagined, but they became what they should have. We created our own family. You gave us another shot at life. Albeit a different kind of life, but a good one nonetheless."

Esme reached across the space between them and laid a comforting hand on his forearm. She understood what he was feeling, the guilt he still carried for turning the family into immortal creatures that fed on blood. But – even if some would not have chosen it – he had given them the chance at a new life, away from the hardships and turmoil of their past one.

"Look, Carlisle, unlike any of us, whatever happens afterward will be Spencer's decision. Ultimately, she will be the one that chooses this life or her humanity. Burdening yourself with something in which you won't have a choice in the matter is not healthy." She spoke in that motherly tone that was peculiar to her. Honey-laced words could calm the strongest storm. "Enjoy whatever time you have together. She knows already what you are, what she can become, but she's chosen to continue alongside you. If there's anything you have enough of, that is time. Enjoy yourself with what you have now and unburden yourself from the weight of the future."

"I wish it were that easy, Esme." He slumped back onto the chair, letting his head hit the back. Carlisle stared at the ceiling in his office, looking for something – an answer, maybe. "I will try."

"Just promise you won't lose sight of what's right in front of you because you're too busy dwelling on things unknown." After a few moments of silence, Esme spoke once more. "On a lighter note, Edward wants to throw Bella a birthday party. It's in three weeks."

As the conversation shifted, words spilled out of their mouths without much thought. They rambled on talking about nothing, filling the time with sounds. There was always something new to talk about, even after so much time. The nonsensical ramblings were able to fill enough time to see the sun start peeking through the trees, announcing the coming of morning.

Carlisle excused himself, wanting to be there when Spencer woke up. He sauntered up the sleek stairs, his heels clicking against the smooth floor. He made his way to his room, knocking on the kids' doors to make sure they were ready for school. The doctor smiled at the human feeling of "waking up" the teenagers he cared for to make sure they fit into their student façade perfectly. Even if they didn't need the reminder, he liked doing it.

When he entered his room, he was surprised to find the bed empty. The sheets were mangled on the floor and the dent in the mattress from her body was still there. He opened his ears in search of her heartbeat, following the frenzied sound to the connected bathroom.

Inside, Spencer was hunched over the toilet, clutching at the base for support. Her forehead glistened with droplets of sweat, the sound of her breathing staggered and sharp. Carlisle could smell the bile from the basin and the perspiration from her skin. She looked pale, a red tint on her face that had spread to her neck. She looked fragile, almost like she would break at any moment.

He ran toward her, kneeling in front of her body, checking for any visible injuries. Carlisle used a hand to pull her hair back, he used the other to caress her cheek. She leaned into the cold touch, needing the juxtaposition to the burning she felt from within. She hadn't noticed tears falling from her eyes until Carlisle wiped them away, every touch a painful yet welcoming sensation.

"I think I may have contracted the flu," she choked out with a small chuckle. Even talking was unbearable. "I don't feel too good."

"Oh, darling," he cooed. He rubbed circles on her back as she emptied whatever contents were left in her stomach.

"Please stay," she whimpered. Spencer knew he had an early shift today, they both did. But she knew she couldn't go into work with her severe symptoms, and she didn't want to be by herself. "I-I don't want to be alone.'

"Of course, my love. I could never dream of leaving with you like this," he smiled. "Here's what we're gonna do. I am going to run you a bath, to hopefully get this fever down. Then, we're going to get some food into you to start you on some oseltamivir every four hours. And we're gonna stay in bed all day. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect. I should call my mom though, let her know I won't be home in a few days," she groaned. "I don't want her or anyone getting sick."

"I could call her," Carlisle offered. Spencer simply nodded, too weak to speak. "Okay, honey, come on."

He started filling the tub with lukewarm water for Spencer to sink into. He sprinkled some Epsom salt onto the water, running his hand to dissolve the soaks. Once the tub was filled, Carlisle helped Spencer to her feet. Her legs trembled under her, too weak to hold her body. He helped unclothe her, softly reaching for the hem of the massive t-shirt she was wearing.

That was the first time he'd seen her bare body. It hadn't been the either of them had imagined they would, but no arousal clouded their minds. It was a moment of vulnerability and care. Carlisle's main priority was Spencer's health. But that didn't mean he hadn't committed to his brain the image of her body – her soft skin, the curvature of her waist, the mounds of her breasts.

"Come on, darling. One leg at a time," he instructed. He held onto her waist as her legs raised, one after the other. Her overheated arms held onto Carlisle's as she slid her body down into the water. "Alright, my love. Call me once the water turns cold to get you out, okay?"

"Wait, Carlisle."

"Yes?"

"Would you, um, get in with me?" Spencer could feel the heat rush to her face. She wasn't sure why she had asked him to stay but knew she didn't want to be by herself. "Please."

Carlisle smiled as he turned back into the bathroom. He bared himself for the first time in front of her and quickly stepped into the water behind her. The tub was enormous, perfectly fitting both their bodies with room to spare. Spencer gravitated toward him, pressing her back to his frozen chest. She let out a sigh of relief after feeling his temperature, easing the ache her body was experiencing. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her softly to his body. That was a new level of intimacy they'd yet to experience, but it was comfortable – just felt right.

A strong ray of sunshine had seeped into the room, beaming strongly through the big windows of the bathroom. Spencer followed the gleam as it landed on one of Carlisle's arms, making the skin sparkle in the light. She hadn't seen his skin in the sun yet, not sure what to expect when she did. She'd wanted to laugh when he first confessed why he and his family avoided the sun, the image of a sparkly Carlisle filling her brain.

But this was different. He wasn't covered in chunky body glitter as she had imagined, he looked beautiful. The view almost felt ethereal. She ran her finger over the porcelain smooth skin, watching as the sparkling ceases when her finger covered it but would shine out as soon as it was uncovered.

"Having fun there, darling?" He chuckled.

"It's beautiful – you're beautiful," she smiled. "I could have never imagined what it would truly look like. This is nowhere near what I had thought of."

"You believe so?"

"It's mesmerizing, really." Carlisle shifted slightly, his torso and face now in contact with the sun, and Spencer stared at how the sparkles spread farther onto his skin. Her hand trailed up his arm and landed on his face. Her fingers traced his facial features, admiring the glimmer of his dermis. She ghosted over his jaw, his cheekbones, his temple, his eyelashes, his nose, his lips. Spencer was completely enthralled by the vision the man in front of her was. "I love you; you know? And I'm so glad you're in my life, Carlisle. Regardless of everything that happened before. I am irrevocably in love with you."

The Cullen man smiled at his partner, gingerly placing a finger on her chin, pulling her lips to his. The kiss was soft, tender, and passionate. "I love you too, Spencer Uley," he said. "More than I ever thought I could love anyone."

They stayed wrapped in each other's arms until the water started turning cold. Carlisle exited the tub first, wrapping a robe around himself before scooping Spencer out and wrapping her in a towel. He sat her on the vanity whilst he searched his drawers for a light sweater to accompany some sweatpants and the underwear he pulled from her overnight bag. He then dried her body before helping her get dressed in the clothing he'd picked out.

He'd called out to Esme on the brief seconds he was looking for the clothes, asking her to prepare some food for Spencer. To which she delightfully agreed. The smell of food quickly thereafter inundated his nostrils, beaconing the pair to the kitchen.

Esme had indeed started crafting up a big pot of the classic chicken noodle soup, gifting the couple with a warm smile when they walked into the massive room. Carlisle helped Spencer onto the island before excusing himself to call his girlfriend's mom.

He wasn't sure about the formalities of speaking to your partner's parent when they have no idea that they are in a relationship. But he was an expert at fashioning believable fallacies. He'd gone centuries doing so.

"Spencer, honey. Are you okay?" Allison Uley's voice rang through the phone with a worried tone. "I thought you were coming home today."

"Actually, Mrs. Uley, this is Carlisle Cullen."

"Oh," she exclaimed, surprised. "Dr. Cullen, is everything okay with Spence?"

"Well, unfortunately, Spencer did contract the flu from her shift yesterday at the hospital. Though she took the necessary precautions, it seems she still caught it," he explained. He'd easily shifted to his doctor persona, conversing as if with a patient's family member. "She's decided to stay in isolation until everything is out of her system to avoid spreading the virus any further. It should take no more than a week for her to be back to 100%."

"Well, can't she come home? I can take care of her here. I wouldn't want her to be alone through this."

"No need to worry, Mrs. Uley. I have an empty home this week – the kids have gone away to visit some family members – and I've arranged a room for her. I've already been in contact with flu patients and have been taking extra precautions to combat the sickness."

"Oh, Dr. Cullen, that's not necessary. I wouldn't want to put you out like that."

"It really is no trouble. It will also be easier to monitor her symptoms just in case they worsen, though I'm sure they won't," he persisted. "I promise she will be well taken care of. No need to worry, Mrs. Uley. Spencer will be back home in no time."

"I don't know how I can thank you, doctor. You have been so attentive toward my daughter, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you," Allison exclaimed. She suspected that the doctor had been the person to sneak their way into her daughter's heart. Spencer would divide the majority of her time between home and the hospital, and whatever free time she invested it in Forks. Allison hadn't built the courage to ask her daughter what person had her acting giddy around the house, but that did not halt the theories to flood her mind. "Truly, Dr. Cullen. You have no idea how thankful I am that you are in my daughter's life."

"I could say the same," he chuckled. "And thank you for trusting me with her health. I promise she'll come back home better than ever."

"I have no doubt about that," she beamed. "Please keep me posted on her condition. I know I'll be worried nonstop about her."

"Rest assured you will receive constant updates about Spencer," Carlisle smiled. "Take care, Mrs. Uley. Have a good day."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. Goodbye."

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Esme and Spencer engaged in chit-chat. There wasn't much to say, but they were still able to maintain a fluid conversation.

"You make him really happy," Esme commented. "I've spent so many years by his side, and I've never seen happiness like this on him."

"Well, he makes me happy too," Spencer smiled, tiredly. "He's just such a peculiar being. I never thought I'd cross paths with someone like him."

"You really love him, huh?" Esme looked up through her eyelashes, giving Spencer a warm smile.

"Under my understanding of what love is, I can confidently say yes."

"You're both the same type of perplexing; practically cut from the same cloth," she chuckled. "I'm so glad you guys found each other when you did. It was about time he found someone."

"Did you ever, um," Spencer stuttered. She scratched the back of her neck, avoiding Esme's gaze. "Did you ever, you know..."

"Love him?" Spencer nodded. "Never in a romantic way. I love him because he is my family and took me in when I had no one. But he's not really my type, if you get what I'm saying."

"Oh," she exclaimed. It took her a moment to understand what Esme spoke. But looking at the woman once more, realization dawned on her. "Oh!"

"Yeah," Esme laughed. "I know people in town talk. They assume we're together because we're caring for all these kids. And as much as it bothers me, I much prefer they gossip about our love lives than have them find out what we really are."

"I get that," the Uley girl chuckled.

Spencer chewed on the insides of her mouth, a question threatening to spill from her tongue. She took a sip from her water, drowning her thoughts in the glass. Getting up close and personal with people was still such a foreign concept to the girl.

"You look like you want to ask something," the brunette interjected before Spencer affirmed with a nod. "Go ahead."

"Do you ever regret being turned into a vampire?" Spencer asked sheepishly. "Like, do you ever miss the things that made you a human?"

"It's not that I don't miss it. I do," Esme started. "But I've stopped wishing for it. I have always been grateful to Carlisle for saving my life and I could never take for granted this second chance. Though I sometimes miss feeling tears running down my face, feeling my body heat up, stretching my lungs out as I take in a deep breath, I prefer being alive to whatever extent I can be."

"But what about children?"

"Well," Esme breathed deeply unnecessarily. "I actually lost a baby. It sort of became the reason Carlisle turned me."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Esme. I didn't mean..."

"It's alright, Spencer," she smiled. The poor girl's face had flushed even stronger, and the vampire couldn't help but chuckle softly. "I quickly realized that I wasn't meant to be a mother the natural way, but I was blessed enough to still be a maternal figure to these kids. If it is meant to be, Spencer, the universe finds a way."

"But how will I know if I'm making the right decision?"

"Spencer, darling, when the time comes, you'll know. But you can't trouble yourself right now with that."

"It's hard when it's the only thing rolling around in my mind," the girl sighed. "It's like a dark cloud just following me everywhere I go, no matter how hard I try to drown those thoughts out."

"I understand completely," Esme smiled and extended a hand to drape over one of Spencer's. "But, darling, if you focus too much on the future, you'll miss everything that's happening right in front of you. It's the only thing you can do."

"I'm a mess," Spencer chuckled dryly.

"I'm completely confident that once you need to decide, you'll choose the right thing for yourself, Spencer," she complimented. "For now, just revel in the fact that you're together and you're happy."

"I'll try," the Uley girl smiled. "Thank you, Esme."

"Any time, darling." Esme was beaming. When they had first met, she could tell there was an air of jealousy surrounding the girl, not that she could blame Spencer. She was just glad that Spencer was warming up to her and trusted her enough to ask for her opinion on such an important matter. "Now, let's get this soup into you so you can take your medicine. Then, up to bed."

Carlisle couldn't help but smile at the scene he walked into. His best friend and the love of his life were idly chatting at the dining table, smiles sprawled on both their faces. Spencer sipped happily on a steaming bowl of soup and Esme watched as someone that was able to enjoy her cooking was doing so. Spencer fit into the puzzle the family was so perfectly that he could not see a future where she was not in it.

"Have I missed anything?" Carlisle sat at the table.

"Not much," Esme laughed. "We're just talking."

"Anything I can know about?"

"Just girl stuff," Spencer answered through giggles. "This soup hit the right spot, Esme. It was so good."

"I'm glad I finally have someone I can cook for."

Esme cleared away the empty bowl, sliding over a glass full of water for Spencer to down the medication Carlisle placed in her hand. In a couple of minutes, drowsiness started taking over the girl. Spencer fought strongly as her eyelids felt heavier than ever. But even the words she spoke fell on deaf ears.

"Why don't we get you to bed, huh?" Carlisle prompted.

Spencer could only nod in answer. And with a laugh, Carlisle snaked his arms under her and carried her to the bed. She felt herself sink into the soft mattress, the blanket draping over her gingerly.

Through heavy eyelids and fluttering lashes, Spencer watched as Carlisle was leaving the room.

"Where are you going?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I want to leave you to rest, my love."

"Stay," she muttered. "Please."

Carlisle turned swiftly on his feet and went back into the room. Spencer felt the bed sink and scooted toward the cold figure that had entered the bed. She rested her head against his chest and snuggled into him as his arms circled her body.

"Thank you, Carlisle," she whispered out, her energy reaching empty rapidly.

"For what, my love?" he chuckled softly, placing a kiss on her head.

"For taking care of me," she smiled. "For being here."

"Nothing and no one could ever keep me from your side."