Goodbye

⚠️T/W: Suicidal Thoughts

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Kaveh's POV:________________________________

"I... have to..."

"Die".

As the words slip from my mouth, I look up with a weak small smile on my tear-stained face.

I saw the heavens open in front of me, and rain pour down from clouds. There are still cracks in the clouds, though, and beams of light shone through the rain, lighting my face. It was as if heaven is sending me a message, beckoning me to leave this Earth.

As soon as the moment is over, I got up once again - without falling over - and made my way to the staircase. Using the banister as my support, I climb the stairs to my bedroom.

As soon as I get into bedroom, I walk over to my desk that is covered in unfinished projects and messy sketches, but I don't care about them anymore.

I quickly brush them off my desk with my arm, in one large swooping motion.

I sit down in my chair, the one I had spent countless nights working on projects in.

"I'm gonna miss this chair when I'm gone", I spoke to myself, while reminiscing on all the nights I had spent with my butt in this chair, working away on things other people wanted.

I finished reminiscing, and quickly grabbed the closest piece of writing paper that was still on my desk. I started to write a quick letter to Alhaitham. This is what I wrote;

"Dear Alhaitham

I am glad to inform you that you will no longer have to put up with my sudden outbursts of energy, and late nights working on projects, as I will be moving out of your house, as of today.

I will be leaving, some of my things behind, so feel free to do what you like with them, as I have no need for them anymore.

This is the last time you shall be hearing from me, as I will be leaving this earth quite soon. Please don't try to find me or save me. I have found that this path, I have chosen is the best way to stop everyone's suffering.

I wish you that you live the best life you can, with quiet and peaceful days reading your books, and working on your Acting Grand Sage things.

Goodbye dear Alhaitham, May you live a wonderful life.

From your housemate

Kaveh."

I pick up the letter and fold it neatly in half, and in half again, so that it is small enough to fit inside an envelope.

I stand up from my chair, and walk over to my little shelf on the opposite side of the room, that stands near the end of my bed.

I crouch down, and pick up one of the empty envelopes, that sit in a little pile on the highest shelf.

I then walk back to my desk, with the envelope in hand, and sit down in my chair for the last time. I place the folded letter inside the envelope carefully, and seal it with a little Sumeru Rose sticker that is lying on my desk.

I look up to the wall that my desk is against. I then notice a little drawing I had done a while ago, that was stuck behind, a large piece of paper that have the plans of the current project I am working on, drawn on it.

I reach my arm up and grab the small drawing from behind the project, I bring it down onto the desk, and look at it.

It is a small drawing of Alhaitham I had done one time, when we were resting in the lounge together doing our sperate activities. He was reading and I was drawing in my sketchbook.

"that was such a nice time, back then... I wish we could have that kind of peace in each other's company all the time..." I sigh to myself.

"Well, Kaveh, what your about to do will bring that peace back for Alhaitham, and he'll be able to have peaceful days once again."

I spoke strongly and and contentedly as I say this.

"Alhaitham will have peace." 

I chuckle to myself at the realization of how much I actually care for the silver haired sage.

"I doubt he would ever care for me like that, so there's no point in writing that I care about him in the note." I say to myself, while getting up from my chair, taking the letter with me and walking over to where Mehrak -my living toolbox-, rests against a book shelf filled with, maps, architecture plans, my certificate of graduation from the Akademiya, and many other things I store there.

I pick Mehrak up by his handle, and he comes to life immediately and starts floating around above my head.

"Mehrak! come here buddy", I said in tired voice.

Mehrak floats down to my eye level, and gives a concerned "beep-bop", in response to my call.

"Here, Mehrak", I said as I hand him the letter, "Put this on the coffee table in the lounge room, and then lay down and shut off, right next to the letter once you've placed it. Your new owner is going to be Alhaitham, okay?"

"Listen to what he says and asks you to do, he'll treat you well." I say softly.

"Only turn back on when Alhaitham picks up the letter." I say sternly to Mehrak, "Don't worry about me, I'll be okay, I just won't be coming back this time, ok?"

"I'm gonna miss you buddy. Goodbye Mehrak... Now get on your way down to the lounge room, you don't want to get there after Alhaitham returns".

As I watch, Mehrak float away and down the stairs, I feel a single tear drop roll down my cheek leaving a little wet trail behind on my face.

I wipe it away, with the back of my hand before it could drop off my face. Then I start walking out of my room, and close the door behind me carefully. I walk down the stairs slowly, careful not to miss a step and fall.

I reach the end of the stairs with no problems, and give a sigh of relief after seeing that Alhaitham hadn't returned yet.

I look over to the coffee table, from the bottom of the stairs, and see Mehrak lying there on the coffee table, shut down. Next to him neatly lay the envelope, containing my farewell letter to Alhaitham.

The rain is still falling hard, and the cracks in the clouds are closed, the world feels dark and lonely. It is the perfect weather for the events to come.

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Words: 1067