Grieving

If Minho never met Jisung, he wouldn't have seen him comforting Felix

Another day at work. Jisung was brooming the floor when Felix entered the shelter.

He was somehow different. Black clothes, black circles under his eyes and no accessories.

You could see him fidgeting, searching for his ring who wasn't on his finger. There was a red train that showed where was the ring before.

The shirt was ironed, but the blazer was a little wrinkled. Probably because he rushed to arrive here in time.

He had an old watch on his wrist.

No smile, no greeting, no waving.

-Hyung? Are you ready?

Minho came from the backroom, running as well.

Again the black suit. But this time he was holding some candles.

Oh... so that was it.

-Jisung, I need to go with Felix somewhere. Hyunjin will come to supervise you for the rest of the evening. See you tomorrow!

Jisung nodded and watched the brothers getting inside a cab.

A few minutes later, Hyunjin entered the shelter and waved at Jisung.

-It's good to see Minho hyung didn't fire you, he joked.

-Is there some kind of anniversary? Jisung asked with no hesitation.

Hyunjin froze for a second before breaking into a nervous laugh.

-Yeah... 17 years since their parents had the car accident. After that their grandmother took care of them. She died last year from a heart attack. I can still see the ambulance lights through my curtains. Now they only have each other. They are really strong. I can't imagine how painful it must be to lose your parents at a such young age.

-Yeah... Me neither, Jisung said avoiding Hyunjin's gaze. I should go back to work.

Chan was taking care of Minho's cats when Seungmin knocked at the door.

-Hi! Felix is not home. He is at the cemetery...

-Oh... I forgot, Seungmin replied embarrassed.

-You can stay with me and the cats tho, Chan shrugged.

-Thank you!

Seungmin entered the house and took Dori in his arms.

-So how long have you been knowing them? Seungmin started the conversation, still feeling awkward.

-I am their childhood friend, so forever. I met their parents once. Before the accident. And their grandma was very kind to me.

Seungmin nodded while thinking of a good reply.

-Felix was the most devastated, because he was younger, Chan added. He used to have nightmares about demons hunting him down. He became very fascinated with this stuff. He believed some creatures were among us. He was afraid to even go to the store. His grandma told me to help him and walk with him. To hold his hand, Chan chuckled while recalling the memories.

-That's why you are so close to him. You're saying Minho is your best friend, but that doesn't change the urge to protect Felix, right?

Chan raised an eyebrow at Seungmin.

-I love psychology, what do you expect? Seungmin explained.

Chan started laughing while sipping from a glass of water.

-You know... I had my crazy ideas too, Seungmin added.

-Really? Like what? Chan leaned on the counter.

-I used to believe time can be manipulated.

-Well, that's a new one, Chan said in shock. So I can go back in time and stop myself from getting wasted at that one family reunion? Chan joked.

-No, but you can decide how much time you have left based on a mission you are given.-Mission?

-Yeah. Like how many dishes I wash or how many curse words I say. Something like that.

-And I can decide how long I will live this way?

-Yes.

-Where did that come from?

-I don't know. I think I had a dream or something. But what are the odds, right? Seungmin shrugged.

-What were you doing in that high school? Changbin walked into Jeongin's room.

-Good evening to you too, my dear client! Jeongin said, his eyes glued to his phone screen.

-It wasn't something related to business.

-And this is exactly why I cannot tell you. It's called "personal life", he made the quotation marks with his free hand.

Changbin just couldn't win. Jeongin always had a smart reply. He hated that smartass of his so much.

-By the way, Jeongin added before Changbin could leave the room. We need to find a new choreographer for your next comeback.

-What? I can dance! Let me do it myself!

-No. The company wants someone with experience.

-Do you have someone in mind? Changbin sighed.

-Not yet. I'm working on it.

-Let's go home, Lix! Minho patted his brother's back.

-Can I stay a little longer? Alone? he asked swallowing his tears.

-I'll wait at the gate, Minho said.

Felix nodded and sat down on his knees before his parents' graves.

The cold wind was blowing the bangs off his forehead and sending chills down his spine.

Thousands of memories overcame him in a panic attack.

He felt like suffocating.

No air to fill his lungs. No light to save him.

-Hey!

A hand on his shoulder snapped him back to reality.

He gasped for air and looked up with big eyes.

-Are you alright?

Felix coughed a little before getting to answer.

-Yeah... Thank you, Jisung!

The latter looked around at the creepy view before sitting down.

-I miss them, Felix confessed.

-It's perfectly normal to miss someone you had lost.

-Minho hyung doesn't seem that affected.

-Some of us don't like to display our pain.

Felix sniffled while whipping the tears with his sleeve.-Am I weak? Am I pathetic for grieving after so many years? Minho hyung is fine and I am just bawling my eyes out every year over some people I barely even remember, he cried out.

-Come with me! Jisung suddenly got up.

-What? Felix asked confused.

-Come on! Jisung demanded.

They went a few steps until they arrived at Jisung's parents' grave.

The flashlight of Jisung's phone revealed their names engraved on two stones.

Felix opened his mouth in shock.

-I lost them a long time ago and it still hurts, Jisung admitted.

-How did they...

-They killed themselves, Jisung answered with no second thought. In front of my eyes. Because they loved me. Maybe too much.

Felix froze when he heard it. He couldn't believe his ears.

-I'm thinking of joining them as soon as possible, Jisung mumbled.

Felix heard it and his heart broke into pieces.

Waterfalls started falling down his rosy cheeks.

He almost suffocated Jisung's in a hug, refusing to let go of him.

-Please, don't! Stay with me! Stay with us! We want you, Jisung! Minho hyung really loves you!

-Yeah...That's the problem, Jisung sighed while caressing Felix's back.

-Felix?

It was getting late and his brother wasn't back yet, so Minho went back after him.

When he didn't find him, he walked until he spotted Jisung and Felix hugging.

He stopped and watched the scene a little.

Felix said he wanted to be alone, yet he let go of his cries in a stranger's embrace.

And that stranger was Jisung, definitely not the most emphatic.

Maybe there was more of Jisung that they didn't know about.

When Jisung arrived home, he threw himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a while.

His number went to 86 that night.

Because he got careless and comforted Felix. Huge mistake.

He grabbed a notebook and started noting something.

-Felix is too dangerous, he said to himself. I can't make him snap, so I must stay away from him. Hyunjin may become a problem. Seungmin doesn't affect me as long as he stays with Felix. Chan can actually help me increase the numbers. My concern is Minho. I have to make him angry again. I need him to hate me or else I'm screwed, Jisung finished after writing everything down.

His life was at stake, so he needed to be cautious.

I should have looked away, yet I'm mesmerized again (Sorry, I love you by Stray Kids)

___________________________________Thank you for reading!