Poguelandia: Week Three

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Rape while drugged by stalker/kidnapper, forced pregnancy. 

I'm sorry for this major plot twist, I know this is fucked up to do to Willow but all my stories have some form of edge and darkness to it, so this is just how things will be. I'm hoping this meshes well with season 4. 

Willow's POV

Something happened to me after Rafe drugged me, I remember gaining consciousness sometime after I was put into one of the cabins on the ship. I was too out of it to know we were on a boat, but I was aware enough to know what Rafe was doing to me. I heard the things he said to me, though none of that came back to me until today. 

The memories hit me hard while I was out in the ocean enjoying the weirdly warm day, realization of what happened made me audibly gasp and cry out in pain. Thankfully I'm alone right now so I can cry in peace, since everyone is out doing 'chores' and playing with Emmy, so I hurried to the cave to 'nap'. Which basically means, JJ and Kie have been hanging out all day, Sarah and Cleo have been keeping my baby happy for me, and my brother and Pope have been fishing per usual. While I suffer in silence, no thanks to my stalker, these flashbacks of what happened are killing me slowly. 

"Now you'll have a reason to want me in your life." Rafe murmured in my ear, his naked body hovering over mine while he released his cum inside of me. 

I feel betrayed. He used to be such a good friend to me and now... now he's far from that. 

I don't know why he would do this to me. And I have no idea how to tell JJ, I don't want him to leave me because of this, it's not like I cheated or chose this for myself. I don't know if he will be mad or blame me, I feel like he wouldn't but there's been a few times where he's snapped at me for being upset over Rafe, so he could be getting tired of it all, this will only add to that. It'll complicate things and tie me to Rafe long term. 

I have guilt playing at my heart string because my body responds to his touch. 

My own body betrays me, because it's not like Rafe isn't attractive, I mean his body is chiseled and he's not lacking in any departments other than sanity. So my body moves with his when he puts me in these positions, he's able to pleasure me and get me off in a way that makes me feel horrible. Obviously I don't want him to touch me that way, I want it to only be JJ having me like that, but my body doesn't care about what my mind wants, not in those moments. 

God, I can't believe this is my life. 

I know what Rafe did worked, I can tell I'm pregnant again. I know this is probably contributing to my exhaustion and heart issues being worse. Of course this all came to me once I started to feel decently happy again. This week I finally let myself feel free from him after being on this island for three long weeks, and now it's like I'm tethered to him, no matter how far away he is, I'm reminded that he will always pop up in my life, he will always be there to hurt me. 

I'm only 17 years old, and I'm pregnant with my second baby. My daughter is still an infant and she will already be a sister in a few months. 

My depressive thoughts dissipate when my gaze rests on JJ, watching him walk down the beach towards me with a very upset Emmy in his hands. Her little cry always makes my heart ache, and my boobs hurt.

"I just changed her, I think she's hungry." He hands her to me, "She woke up angry."

I situate Emmy in my arms and start feeding her, "Definitely hungry. She went too long without milk, makes sense she's mad."

He sits down next to me, "Sorry, I didn't realize it was too long."

"It's fine babe," I lean against his shoulder, "as she gets older she will start spacing out how often she eats. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Yeah but she isn't usually that upset."

"Jay, she's fine now. She's not always going to be happy." I rub Emmy's head, making her smile up at me, "Babies cry sometimes."

"I know I know, I just worry she's not getting enough milk or that its not healthy enough out here for her. She's still so tiny."

"She's only three months old, she's not going to put on a couple pounds that fast. She looks healthy, look at her." We both look down at her while she happily eats, her little fists kneading at my boob. 

Every time I look at her it's like my heart fills with more love than I already had for her.

"She's perfect." JJ agrees.

"Exactly, so stop worrying, we're doing the best we can with what we have." I could see he was still worried but he did seem less tense now, "We will find a way home, Jay, it'll be okay."

He nods, "I hope so. Your milk supply has already been having issues, if you go dry then she has nothing to eat."

"I can't think about that or I'll stress out which makes it worse." My voice is quiet now, "We have to stay optimistic that this will work out in our favor, that we're going to be rescued." 

Though now it's all I can think about again, I try pretending it's not an issue so I don't worry, but someone always brings it up. Now I feel lightheaded, the stress of it all nipping at my mind, my baby could die out here. Fuck the sun feels hotter now and my skin is clammy. This is Rafe's fault too, being pregnant is probably making my milk supply go down. God, if he's the reason my daughter dies from starvation.. because of his baby growing in me.. how do I handle this? 

Obviously I'll love any child of mine, but.. but this could end up killing us. 

JJs eyes soften, "Baby, are you okay?" 

I can't respond, its taking everything in me to stay sitting up while I clutch Emmy to my chest, I think she can tell something is wrong because her cry is piercing my ears now. 

"Willow?" He shuffles to sit in front of me, "Princess, what's wrong?" My eyes plead with him to grab Emmy, his own eyes wide with concern, "Can you hear me?"I try talking, but nothing comes out, he panics when Emmy slips from my hands, but he's quick to catch her. The only thing I can see is the sky above me after my body falls backwards.

"Fuck." JJ stresses over her screams, "Emmy, it's okay... Mama's okay." He cries, "Shh, baby, you can eat in a minute, Mama needs a minute."

"Focus on breathing."

My vision blurs once the ringing in my ears starts, everything feeling rather distant now. As if I'm fading away. I better not be.. pull it together Willow.

~~~~~

JJs POV 

"I'm sorry, Emmy, I'm sorry." My desperate pleas for her to calm down are worthless when she's this hungry, I know that, but Willow's currently unresponsive. I don't know why this keeps happening but it's scaring the shit out of me. Fuck I need help. I glance down the beach to see who's closest to us, catching Pope's eye first and wave him down.

"Shit, again?" Pope breathlessly asks, kneeling down next to Willow. 

"I know," I mutter, Emmy throws her head back and screams, "I know little Princess, it'll be okay."

I didn't even realize Willow's tit was hanging out until Pope quickly pulls her bra up, I'm so fucking out of it in these moments. It's like I don't know who to focus on, I can't chose between calming Emmy down and being there for Willow. 

Pope rests the back of his hand on her forehead, "What happened?"

"We were talking while she was feeding Emmy, then she dropped her and fell back." I lightly bounce her to try and soothe her but nothings working.

"Go give Emmy to the girls, JJ." He starts to slap Willow's cheek, "Come on, open your eyes. You need to hydrate." More slaps, "Come on, wake up, you're pale as shit." Another slap, then he looks up at me, "When's the last time she ate?"

"This morning, she had fish." I pat Emmy's back, her cries still in my ears while I try to think about what all Willow actually ate today, "I think she had berries earlier. I'll be right back." 

I push my legs to go as fast as I can without pissing Emmy off more.

"Why's she screaming, JJ?" Sarah rushes up to me, "She's really red."

"I know, fuck, just take her." I hand Emmy to her while tears start running down my cheeks again, "Willow dropped her when she passed out, she was feeding her. Just try to calm Emmy down while we try to wake her up."

"She dropped her?" Sarah looks Emmy over for injuries.

I sniffle, "I caught her, she's okay, just upset. She needs to eat more."

"I've got her." She turns away and walks off towards Kie and Cleo down the beach.

I run back, seeing John B kneeling on the other side of Willow, while Pope checks her pulse. 

"She threw up," Pope tells me, "she was still passed out, we had to roll her over so she didn't choke."

"What?" I get to my knees and grab Willow's hand, "This is getting worse, Pope. She's going to fucking die out here." 

"Don't say that." John B chokes out, "I can't... fuck just don't say that shit."

"GUYS!" Sarah screams for us.

I jump up thinking something is wrong with Emmy, only to see her happily smiling at Cleo holding her a few feet behind Kie and Sarah, what catches my eye next makes my heart skip a beat.

"There's a plane!" I dash back into the cave and scoop Willow into my arms, "Get Emmy into her car seat, grab all our bags." Everyone quickly complies and chases after me, "We'll get you help baby, we're getting rescued." I mumble to Willows unconscious body, "You'll be okay, we'll be okay."

Now, seeing a small falling apart plane landing on our island, Poguelandia, and a long haired dude stepping out, was supposed to be a happy thing, right? I mean we're rescued, we're saved. Willow can go see a doctor but, this feels off. I feel nervous sitting with my sweet Emmy in her sandy car seat secured between John B and myself with Willow laying across my lap, all the while were actually flying over the Caribbean.

Away from our paradise island. 

I tune out my stressed friends talking about how sketchy the pilot is, instead I start going through the guys bag, looking through his wallet, eyeing his ID for a minute, never heard of this guy before but that doesn't mean he isn't sketchy. Emmy starts getting fussy so I nervously rub her belly and pull more things from Jimmy Portis' bag, my eyes go wide when I see a picture of the Coastal Venture in his journal. The same ship Willow, Emmy and Sarah were taken on. 

Sarah quietly freaks out when she see's it, making John B focus on calming her down. 

I panic when Jimmy notices me going through his stuff, he turns in his seat and tries to attack me, making me go into fight mode since Willow is between us, everyone starts to scream over the fact that the controls to the plane are now unmanned.

"Bro, get the fuck off of me." My body shifts so I can slide Willow to the floor when Jimmy grabs ahold of my shirt, my eyes land on the scenery out of the windshield behind him; the nose of the plane is pointing straight down at the shallow waters close to the beach of Barbados, "Fly the plane, man, we're gonna die!"

"STOP." Kie steps over Willow on the floor and tries to grab Jimmy's arms off of me, "Let him go!"

"FLY THE PLANE!" Sarah screams.

I dig my nails into the guys hands on my shoulders, hoping he will lighten his grasp, Pope and John B join in on trying to push Portis off of me. All while Emmy cries next to me, making me feel guilty for putting her into this scary situation. I knew we should have stayed at the island, we shouldn't have trusted this dude. 

I continue to frantically try to fight this guy off, but it's no use, he's like fucking high or something. He has me pinned to the side of Emmy's car seat, "What are you doing in my stuff, kid, huh?"

"Nothing man, nothing." I grit out, throwing my fist upwards the best I can without hitting my friends desperately trying to help me while we freefall towards land. 

Jimmy finally seems to come back to reality and turns in his seat, his focus now on saving us from crashing. Though I feel like it's a little late for that. 

"We're going to die." I wrap my arms over the top of Emmys car seat, "Daddies got you."

Screams ring out in the air as our bodies all fly towards the front of the plane, the sound of metal crunching makes my stomach drop, my arms never let go of Emmy's seat when I slam into my friends. Seconds feel like hours, my ears ring from the commotion around me. 

Finally I sit up when water rushes into the space around us, our coughing and groans of pain filter into the air while we regain our senses.

I peel the wet blanket away from Emmy's screaming face, "Shh shh, it's okay little Princess, Daddy's got you." Pain flows through my body but I grit my teeth and ignore it while I kiss her head, "I'm sorry Emmy, I'm so sorry."

"We have to get out!" Pope lifts Willow off the ground and sets her in the seat next to him, letting her head fall on to Kie's shoulder. 

I trust they will make sure Willow gets out safely since I can't swim with Emmy, our bags and Willow's unconscious body. So I follow John B to the open hatch in the back of the plane, he slips out first, helping me get Emmy and our bags out before he helps Sarah since she's in a daze from hitting her head.

I turn to Kie when she swims up next to me, passing her Emmys diaper bag. We swim away from the wreck, struggling from the weight of holding Emmy in her seat above my head. My sweet little Princess screaming the entire time, finally we make it over to a dock nearby just in time to hide against the rocks. I shakily breathe out a loud exhale when Pope points out a ton of scary looking dudes with guns rolling up on ATVs and in trucks, that was close. Emmy and Willow don't need to be mixed up in that mess. 

Wait. No no no. 

I feel like I can't get air to my lungs when I see Willow being dragged by Jimmy Portis towards the beach where the scary looking dudes are waiting. As if this was a setup, like they knew we were coming. And now my girl is in their hands, while I'm over here hiding like a little bitch. But I can't keep Emmy safe if I go over there. 

Fuck what do I do?

"No one grabbed her for me?" I look at my alarmed friends, "Y'all knew I had the baby, why didn't anyone grab her, knowing she was passed out?" 

"I had Sarah." John B argues, "And I was helping you and Emmy out, y'all knew I didn't have her."

"I was helping Cleo." Pope quietly admits, "I didn't realize Kie didn't grab her, she was the last one out, but I would have gone back if I knew."

I narrow my eyes at Kie, "I trusted you to get her out, Pope put her next to you, which means you knew no one else got her."

"I didn't know, JJ, I came out and you handed me the bags so I followed you." She cries, "Fuck, where are they taking her?"

My head whips around to see Willow freaking out while being dragged away. She looks confused when she glances over at the wrecked plane, obviously having no idea how she got here or where we are. She doesn't know that Emmy is safe, all she knows is she isn't safe and she's alone and once again kidnapped. God, she has no idea what's happening, she was fucking unconscious when we left the island. This is too much to handle, and I feel like it's my fucking fault, like normal. 

How the fuck did I leave her behind again? 

"She's probably terrified." I choke out, "She has no idea... she doesn't know... fuck man." 

"We will find her, Jayj." Kie rubs my back.

That fucking nickname again, I don't like it. 

My body is tense when I pull away from Kie's hand, looking down at my little Princess, who can't go very long without nursing, "I will lose my goddamn mind if we don't get her back soon." 

"We will," John B sniffles, "we need to find somewhere safe to go so we can figure out what to do next."

"Yeah, all it takes is Emmy crying and those guards or whatever they are, will find us over here." Pope reasons, "We won't be any help to Willow if we get caught too."

"I know." My head turns back to look over where my Princess is being thrown into the back of a truck.

I've never seen the expression she's wearing before, she looks lost and helpless but there's something else in her eyes and in the way she's hugging her legs to her chest. It makes me want to scream for her and run over there, and I want to hurt those guys for being so rough with her. 

But I can't do any of that because she's gone now. And I have no idea where they're taking her. 

I'll figure it out though. I won't give up until I have her back in my arms. 

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