Chapter 31 - Pen and Paper

It was dusk outside, Steven had left a few hours ago after feeding the boys some chicken nuggets and mac and cheese for dinner.

Slash and Jen were putting the boys down to bed early after their tiring day with uncle Steven. Originally, Slash had insisted that Jen just relax and rest, but she thought she might be happier if she helped out with the boys.

Cash went down easy after Jen read him his favorite Thomas the Tank engine picture book.

"Ni ni Jenny." The little boy settled down in his crib wrapped in blankets.

"Night, night Cash."

Meanwhile, Slash was having a bit more trouble with London. Although the boy was sleepy, he seemed to have tons of questions that the guitarist couldn't answer.

"Where's our real mommy?"

Um. Fuck. How do I approach this? 

"You know little man, she is still on vacation."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Long wacation. Okay."

There was a pause before he spoke again, and Slash continued tucking him into bed.

"Daddy, is Jen going to be our new mommy?"

Oh my god why did his kid have to be so smart? 

"She's just your babysitter for now. Are you ready to go to sleep? You can ask me more questions tomorrow in the morning."

"Okay. Night daddy."

Slash finally closed the door and exited his room, hopefully he was able to reassure his son, he had no idea whether he was saying the right things.

He scanned the upstairs, but Jen didn't seem to be up there. Maybe she was already downstairs on the couch.

Bingo.

Jen was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal, HGTV on the screen. It just brought him back to the time she had first stayed the night. Ever since then, he had been hopelessly addicted to her.

He felt himself smiling. God she was so cute.

"Hey babe, what are you up to?" the guitarist sat down next to her and slipped his arm around her shoulders.

Jen glanced at him with a grin, "Just watching house hunters, it reminds me of when we first started talking."

"Aww." Slash hugged her closer. "Is this going to be our 'show' now?"

She chuckled a little. "I think so." She clamped her mouth shut to keep I love you from coming out again.

"Baby I was going to make you a nice dinner but you've already found the cereal. Are you sure you don't want anything else?" Slash was hoping to be as sweet to her tonight as he could to make her feel better.

"Oh." Jen looked down at her bowl. "I just realized I hadn't eaten all day so I grabbed this. Honestly if you make dinner, I'll still be hungry."

Slash laughed and kissed the top of her head. "I'll go make something. I haven't eaten since breakfast anyways."

Slash's cute gesture made her smile to herself. He was so sweet!

A bit later, Slash came over to the couch, handing her a plate. "Babe, I brought you dinner."

"Oh thank you Slash. You're the best!"

Jen turned on a movie while they ate and talked.

Finally she got up the question to ask the thing she had been wanting to know. "Hey baby, does this count as our first official date?"

"It can, I was hoping it would count. Especially since now you're my girlfriend!" The guitarist felt himself smile like a teenager in love. 

"Oh good. I'm so glad you're now my boyfriend. You were the best ever today, thank you for being there for me. I didn't know who else to call and you were there."

"Of course, I'm going to be there for you forever, I'm so glad I could help you today. If it helps you to talk about what happened, I will always listen."

"Thank you." Jen cuddled into his side, she felt so safe and happy in his arms.

Comfortable silence settled over the couple as they watched the rest of their movie. The dusk outside had turned completely pitch black and it was almost midnight by the time the end credits were rolling.

Slash kissed the top of her head. "Are you tired babe?"

The brunette shook her head. "Are you?"

Slash realized that he was wide awake too. "Me neither. Probably because we slept all afternoon."

She chuckled. "Yeah probably. What do you want to do now, watch another movie maybe?"

"Not going to lie Jen, I haven't seen you in a few days and you look so sexy in my clothes." He slowly ran his hand up her thigh. "I just want you really bad."

Jen looked up at him with lust in her eyes. God, he was so sexy and smooth.

She climbed onto his lap, pressing her lips to his and kissing him with everything she had.

Slash gently kissed her neck. She wanted him so bad but she couldn't give in, no matter how good his kisses felt, no matter how much her body told her she wanted him, all she could think about was the panic of waking up in that room, alone, unsure where she was, imagining exactly what had happened when she was blacked out.

Slash slowly drifted his hands down from her waist to the top of her, well, his, shorts. Jen pulled away quickly, and Slash stopped moving immediately.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Well, I'm just not, I just can't, I can't do it tonight."

"It's alright. I'm sure it's a bad time, I shouldn't have started that, we can just cuddle instead."

"Thank you." Jen wished she could tell him, she just didn't know what to say and she wasn't ready to tell Slash what happened when she barely knew herself what had happened.

Slash hugged her tightly. "If you want to talk about it you know I'll be here to listen okay?"

"I know."

They cuddled in silence for a bit before Jen felt the story bubbling up to the surface. She didn't think she could keep it back anymore. Unfortunately, when it came to Slash, she couldn't keep anything from him and talking might help.

"Slash I, I don't know how to say this. But maybe you can help me. I think you knowing what happened might help." Her tone was more serious than Slash had ever heard, and he quickly sat up to listen.

The brunette girl sat cross legged on the couch facing him, her green eyes meeting his brown ones in the low lighting of the room.

"I just can't say it though. Do you think I could write it out?"

"Of course, let me get you a pen and paper baby." Slash flicked on the kitchen light and hurriedly got some paper and a blue pen out of the junk drawer in the kitchen.

Jen stayed on the couch, deep in thought. She was shrinking under the weight of this event and she had to share it, but talking about it was too big of a step.

"Here, babygirl." Slash handed her the pen and paper, sitting down next to her and squeezing her shoulders a little.

"Thank you babe." Jen shot him a grateful smile, toying with the pen. She finally took a deep breath and began to write, steadying the paper on the coffee table.