Fixed

numbbaaah three in the ER chapters!, hope you guys like itttt!, and tell me what you think guys! <3 VOMMENT! <3 _________________________________________When do you officially declare yourself as broken?

Is it when you finally give up?

Is it when everything just doesn’t turn out?

Is it when YOU just don’t turn out?

“How are you feeling?” Louis asks Harry, just as he walks up to the group of them, standing out of the room, against the glass door.

“-listen we know how you feel bro-“

Harry pulls away from Liams grasp.

“Actually, no, you have no idea how I fucking feel!”

“Harry, please, calm dow-“

“I come running back here, expecting to see her beautiful open eyes…”

“Harry-“

“But in-fucking-stead I get to see her being shocked back into a stable state, a breathing tube shoved down her throat, and another bandage re-wrapped around her openly bleeding head”

Harry’s rage was too huge to control, and he was getting out of hand.

He came rushing back, had taken three busses.

“At least you got to TALK to her, boys”

“Harry, we barely talked to her!, she just asked for you-“

“She what?”

Zayn stopped himself there, covering his mouth to stop the word jumble.

“the only thing she fucking said, OUT OF ALL THE FUCKING THINGS, she asked for me?”

“Harry please lad-“

“and I wasn’t even here…”

“it wasn’t your fault-“

“Yes it was, don’t try to tell me it wasn’t, I have legs, I walked on them. I left this room. And she woke up looking for me… and I wasn’t here”

Harry backs up against the wall, sliding down it with his hands covering his eyes.

“I wasn’t… there” he cries.

All the boys run over to comfort him. Pulling him into a tight embrace.

All Harry could do was convulse in tears. And hoped that soon, it’ll all just stop.

BEFORE THE ACCIDENT-

BOAT.

HARRY’S P.O.V-

Something stinged my nose.

It was a salty smell.

Maybe it was just the metal boat and the river water mixing together?, I wasn’t quite sure.

“Jaycee?” I ask, attempting to nudge her.

But she wasn’t next to me, so I sit up slowly.

I couldn’t believe it.

Seeing her, sprawled out on the metal floor, her face covered in a deep pool of blood.

I scrambled forward, latching my hands underneath her head, and placing it on my knees.

“Fuck, Jaycee?!” I yell, wobbiling her arm.

But she didn’t respond.

“JAYCEE!!” I scream again, but her skin was beginning to go pale.

How long had she been out like this?

I feel a giant wave of guilt hit me, maybe she tried to wake me up but just-

I can’t think of something like that… if anything, she would have passed out almost instantly. Painless.

Shit, I have to get her back to shore… I just have to!

I place Jaycee’s head onto a soft life jacket and scrambled to the front of the boat.

“don’t worry Jaycee, I’ll get you back” I say, climbing out of the boat, and swimming to the back of it.

I use all the strength I had to push the boat forward, but it was barely moving…

This was going to take a long time.

ICU

Harry sat there, his hand entwined with her cold pale one.

He didn’t know what to say, he had nothing TO say. He was just all chocked up the entire time.

Could she hear him?

“Jaycee i-“ he started, but stopped, forgetting everything he had rehearsed.

“i-I’m-“ once again.

“Listen i-“ again.

He couldn’t explain the way he felt, not even to himself. Everything he was so sure of before, he isn’t exactly sure of now. He just couldn’t put his feelings into words, he couldn’t explain the way there is something gnawing at the inside of his stomach. Like fireworks exploding inside his bones, swallowed words screaming, trapped inside his very own lungs. He couldn’t explain how it felt to long for someone, who couldn’t even open their eyes to long for them back. To spend hours and hours crying the atlantic ocean, to feel so pissed off, all the time. He’d say that sleeping was the only place he got peace, but he just couldn’t fall into the state.

There were so many words and infinite ways in which he could combine words to just form in his mouth, he wanted to tell her anything and everything. But nothing fit adequately describing the bundle of emotions he was feeling at that moment.

He longed for the impossible, he wanted to enter her mind. To show her how he felt, because he’d might as well hook a projector into his brain and play it on the big screen, and sell it for twelve dollars a ticket.

He wanted someone just to know how he felt, without having to explain a damn thing.

He was so alone, and he didn’t want to be.

Maybe when you die, all the feelings and emotions just explode out of you, like a firework display.

Maybe it’s ugly and horrifying.

But maybe… just maybe… it’s beautiful.

What was Jaycee seeing from her side?

Was it just black?, an empty void of nothing?

Or was it something more?, could she see him from where she was? Was she hovering next to him, her delicate hand on his broad shoulder?

Was she listening to his mind?, could she hear every single word that he screamed?.

Was she screaming back?

Did she understand how sorry he was for not being there? Does she forgive him?

Is she holding on by a single thread of her own mind?, is she holding her breath, waiting?.

Was she waiting for something?

Was she waiting for him?.

He just didn’t know how to explain it. And he wasn’t planning on opening his mouth until the right sentence came out.

“Hey hansome” says a voice, Harry turns to the door, only to see Mrs. Davidson, Jaycee’s mum, smiling over at him.

“Still haven’t left huh?”

Harry didn’t understand how she could be so happy, so light… not with the condition her daughter was in.

“No…” he mumbles, tightening his grip on Jaycee’s hand. After her waking up, he vowed not to ever leave this room.

And he damn right didn’t move a muscle.

“Listen, honey, I know that you miss her, hell, I miss her too, and it pains me to wake up every morning knowing she’s in here, but at least I sleep. You get what I mean?”

Harry just turns his head back to Jaycee.

“you know, Mrs. Davidson, I haven’t smiled in two weeks”

“not even once?”

“Not even once”

Harry felt a pair of hands scrape through his curls.

“Listen, Harry, if it helps, she’s probably thinking about you too. she’s probably listening from where she is, hell, she could maybe even see us. And that should give you a reason to keep a smile on your face. this girl Harry, she’s strong. And she wont let this take over her, I know my Jaycee, and you should know yours, too”

Harry feels another bundle of tears prick the back on his eyelids.

Why did this all happen to him?.

And yet, he wouldn’t wish this on his enemy.

“Mrs. Davidson-“

“Call me Missy”

“Missy-, I just, I just don’t want to loose her” he says, still tightening his grip on her beautiful hand.

“You wont, Harry, I promise” Missy says, placing her hand on his shoulder.

“You know, she really does love you”

“h-how do you know that?”

“I was down in the kitchen, when I heard you both on the phone, talking about the long distance thing. And as soon as she hung up that phone. She didn’t leave her room for days, Harry”

why was she telling him this?

“she only ate for dinner, and for school, she was being bombarded with questions from her school mates”

Harry felt so guilty. He thought it was both of their decisions. He thought she was okay with it.

“I just thought you should have known that, Harry.”

“It’s all my fault… that she’s in here”

“Not at all, Harry, don’t you EVER think that, it was a freak accident, that’s it.”

“She probably tried to wake me up… she probably…”

“Don’t think of the bad things Harry, you have to turn it around into the positive, and yes, I know, how could something like this have anything positive involved?, think about when she finally wakes up and goes home, think about that hug and kiss that she’ll give you, for not leaving her side”

“I want that hug and kiss, now”

Missy turns and starts walking out of the room, stopping right in the doorframe.

“if you really loved her, you’d give her time” she says once more, before walking out.

Leaving Harry alone, once again.

With his own depressed thoughts.

Harry sat there, just staring into her closed eyes, hoping that any second, she would open them and smile up at him.

After everyone had visited, and said their hellos to Harry, and once they had all left, and the lights were the only thing lingering.

Harry brang her hand up to his cheek, and kissed her forehead softly.

A thing he did every night, before he fell asleep.

But this time, something felt different.

Harry placed his head in the crevice of her cold neck, ignoring the goosebumps he was feeling.

He squeezed her hand once more, before breathing out, relaxing.

But what he felt next, scared him.

It damn right scared him out of his skin.

Harry’s head pulled up, and he stared down at his hand.

He wasn’t sure if he dreamt it, imagined it, or just wished too hard.

But he was sure about what he felt, and he was positive it had happened.

He scanned through his mind to figure out what he had just felt. And scarily enough, she squeezed his hand back.________________________________________ 

LOL OMG GUYS SUUUURPRISE!, IT’S ONE AND A MINI CHAPTER IN ONE!!! <3  ENJOY! <3 caution, extreme mushy, romantic, and heart pulling

 

Harry shook her hand.

He shook it and shook it and shook it.

“Jaycee?” he repeated.

And to his heart warming surprise, she fluttered her beautiful eyes open. And he was at a loss for words.

Her eyes were still as beautiful as he had remembered them.

“H-“ she started. But stopped, and just smiled at him.

A bridge of tears over flowed from her eyes, and she just kept on smiling.

“Jaycee-“ Harry breathed, bringing his face to hers.

“You-you’re here” she rasps, and he smiles

“Of course I’m here, I never left”

“But-“

“I know, I know I wasn’t here last time, I just got angry”

her pupils finally settled, and she was in an awake, stable state.

He hoped.

“I missed you” he said, but really, he was lying, he didn’t just miss her, he longed for her, every second of the day.

“I missed you too” she begins to cry, and lifts her fragile arm up, and gently scrapes a curl on his forehead.

“How are you feeling?” he asks

“i don’t want to die, Harry” she says, and he sits back, stunned.

“no, no you aren’t”

“Harry, I can feel it”

“Don’t you dare say that, you aren’t going to die, Jaycee, I wont let you”

“you can’t stop those things, Harry”

“why does this conversation have to be so negative?” he smiles

“because I am in a negative place, a hospital” she sniffs.

“I can promise you, Jaycee, right now, that you aren’t going to die”

“you made a lot of promises Harry”

You’ve made a lot of promises Harry “Only ones I intend to keep” he repeats, exactly the same from that last night on the boat.

She closes her eyes, and breaths out.

“I can feel it, you know, just slipping away, and sometimes it feels easier, just to go with it”

“but you can’t, Jaycee, now you have to promise me, not to slip away, not to leave me.. okay?”

“I’ll try, Harry, I promise”

it goes silent, as they just stare at each other, savouring this moment.

Jaycee rests her head.

“what’ll happen once I’m out of here?, if I do get out of here?”

Harry feels a smile spread across his face.

“We’re going to move in together. Just the two of us. No boys, nobody. We’ll get an apartment near the city, or over looking the ocean. We’d have a place all to ourselves. A place where we can share anything and everything without spectators, without an audience. I’ll come home from the studio, or from a tour and kiss you sweetly. We’ll get a dog, and maybe a cat, if our landlord lets us. We’ll get a flat screen, so we can play pokemon together, I’ll pick out the things you’ll wear in the morning, and you can do the same for me, just nothing stupid, because, you know, I’m Harry Styles-“ she giggles, and it lights up his world.

“when I come home, I’ll ask about your day, and I’ll tell you about the stupid things the boys had done to me throughout the day. But that’s okay, because I’ll come home to you everyday, and that’ll be the best part”

Harry sees a small tear roll down her cheek.

“we’ll think it’s relaxing, just sitting by each others side, in front of a nice movie and a big bucket of Ben and Jerry’s. everynight, I’ll sleep with you. and once in a while when we wake up, we can both take a day off, and stay in bed. And just enjoy each other. And we’ll talk about this-“ Harry chokes up, and fights back the water works.

“-and we’ll talk about how strong we both were, through this whole thing. And we’ll talk about how perfectly imperfect our relationship is”

he caresses her cheek sweetly, and kissed her dry lips beautifully.

“we’ll talk about how much we love each other” he finishes. Taking her hand once more.

She smiles through all those tears.

“you promise?” she rasps, coughing at the end.

“I promise”. Harry says.

Now that Jaycee was awake, (or at least, she was trying her best to stay awake), Harry could at least sleep in peace, but he still insisted not to take his hand away from hers.

As Harry slept, Jaycee kept wandering with her mind, she could barely move her limbs, so all she would do was wander.

What had happened? Where had she been throughout the whole coma?

Was she still in coma? Was she dreaming this whole thing?

She scraped her hands through Harry’s curls, taking in the sight and feel of it.

How silky they were, and how beautiful they felt against the middles of her fingers.

This was definitely real.

She was safe. She felt safe here, with Harry.

Even though he was as unconscious as she might as well of been, she still felt like nothing in the world could hurt her.

And that was true.

She was finally, safe.

That was, until all the boys walked through the door.

They all carried on with whatever they were doing, and didn’t even notice Jaycee was watching them.

Niall was eating his food, Zayn was primping himself in the reflective surfaces, Louis was pushing the bottle of water Liam was drinking up, causing it to spill all down his shirt. Typical Lou.

She just watched them, they seemed so fascinating to her, them being… themselves.

They started to have conversations about their day, and what they did. They laughed at the way Niall said ‘I ate a couple of potatoes’ and how Liam was still pissed at Lou for ruining his good flannelette shirt.

“So when do you think Jay’ll wake up?” Niall finally says

and Jaycee smiles, just waiting for the perfect moment to intervene.

“I don’t know, maybe now?” she says, and watches all the boys freeze.

“no…” they all rasp.

The only thing she heard was a stampede of One Direction coming toward her white hospital bed.

There was nothing better than a One Direction hug.Ohh, you guys think it's all over and happy?, aw, cute. you just wait readers... eheheh.