Chapter 4

"Someone's a happy girl today." Jack noticed. "It's an ordinary day." I shrugged. "Did Lauren get some last night?" He smirked, I looked at my notebook. "Who's the lucky guy?" He carried on. Marcus walked into the class and sat in front of me.

"Hey." He smiled. "Hi." I smiled back and then looked back to Jack. "Him?" He pointed I shook my head and laughed. "Who was it?!" "No one." I laughed. "I bet it's Hollywood." "We may have broken up but that nickname still annoys the hell out of me." "It was!" He guessed. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

Jack continued to go on through the whole of our first two periods as we had them together. At lunch I went to sit with Marcus. "How are you liking Richmond's High School?" I asked. "There's tonnes of chicks." "Flash your muscles and that winning smile, you'll find yourself so deep in slutty chicks."

"I don't want the slutty ones." "You liking the look of anyone?" "I'm not sure yet." He watched me take a bite of my sandwich. "So my family are having this barbecue tonight. Do you think you can come? I don't wanna be a loner." "At a family barbecue?" "Friends too." "Uh- I think I could make it. Just send me your details?" "Sure thing." I smiled.

"And stay here. I have no friends and don't wanna seem like a loner." I laughed at him. "Consider me your your new friend." I grinned. "I'll do that." He smiled back. We talked for the rest of lunch and got to know each other. After school I went to meet Marcus and then we walked back to mine in time for dinner.

"If my little sister doesn't like you, don't take it personally. She's kinda attached to the last guy." I said. "I'm your new guy?" "I didn't mean that. I just meant.." I trailed off as I opened the front door.

"Lauren!" Lilly came running like usual. "Where's your man?" I asked as I hugged her. "Who's that?" She whispered to me. "This is Marcus. Say hi." I told her. "Hi." She smiled nervously and then ran off. I laughed and went further into the house. "You must be Marcus?" Dad greeted him. "That's me, Sir." "Please, call me Steve." He shook his hand.

"Lon, I need to tal- Who's this?" Cody cut himself off. "My friend, Marcus. Marcus, Cody. Cody, Marcus." Cody nodded and went into the kitchen. "What's with him?" "Who knows?" I shrugged. "Want a tour of the house?" I offered. Marcus accepted.

"Your closet is like a whole other bedroom!" Marcus sounded amazed. I laughed and fell backwards onto my bed. Marcus came out and then looked at my dresser. "This is pretty, why don't you wear it?" He picked up my promise ring. "That's my- Uh- Promise ring." "I'm sorry." He put it back quickly.

"It's okay. Honest mistake." I shrugged it off. "Your bedroom is so cool." He looked around and then walked to my wall full of photos. "Did you design this?" "Mhmm." "What aren't you talented at?" He joked. At least I think it was a joke.

On my wall was a section if photos. Of everyone, family, friends, fans. "Lauren, dinner will be ready in a bit." Alli said as she came into my room. "Alli, this is Marcus." "Hi." She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Hey." He smiled back.

The three of us went downstairs, I felt Cody's eyes burning my skin as we went out the back door but I didn't dare to look at him. "You want a drink?" I asked Marcus. "Yes, please. What is there?" "We got all sorts, mate." Dad said and took him into the kitchen.

"He's so cute!" Alli burst. I giggled. "How long have you been waiting to say that?" "Cody told me that you were upstairs with some guy. He didn't tell me how cute he was. Damn!" "Calm down, Alli." I laughed. "You gonna get in there?" "He's my friend." "So?" "He's new to the area so he isn't that confident." "Cutely vulnerable." She fanned herself.

"Someone's developing a crush." I teased. After dinner Marcus went home. No one had seen Cody since we'd finished eating. I took one last look around the house and then went to my bedroom.

"What are you doing in here?" Cody was sat at my dresser with his back to me. "Hello?" I snapped my fingers and walked round so he'd have to look at me. He had my ring in his hand. "Why was he holding this?" Cody looked at me. "What?" "That dude you brought home. Why was he holding it?" "He saw it and picked it up." I shrugged.

"What's the big deal? So what? He picked up my ring." I sat on my window seat. "It's not just a ring though, is it?! He's not just some guy either, is he?!" Cody started to get mad. I have no idea why though. "Well no. It's a promise ring, it's special but so what? People can hold it. It's not some kind of rare diamond that needs to be locked in a safe."

"Why did you bring him home?" "To hang out. He's new to town and has no friends." "How long have you guys been this close?" "How long have we been friends?" "You're not just friends though, are you?" "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your friend doesn't call your father 'Sir' he doesn't treat your mom the way he was. He doesn't try to impress your younger siblings the way he does. When Trey gets home he's gonna be kissing his ass too. What the fuck are you playing at?!" He got up and threw the ring onto the dresser.

"He's my friend. Nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing wrong with being polite." "I don't like him." He shook his head. "You don't need to like him." "I don't think you should like him." "You don't get a say in who I hang out with." "Lauren, I'm trying to keep you safe."

"No, Cody. You're trying to keep me to yourself. I'm not yours anymore. I never belonged to you in the first place." "What am I to you?! I don't understand it!" "You're my ex-boyfriend, Cody! And no matter what you do you're never going to be my first priority! It's over, it's been over for two months!"

"You weren't saying that last night though, were you? No. Not when you're getting what you want!" "I was drunk! You made me have five shots, what did you think was gonna happen?! You did it on purpose and I know it! It takes two people to do what we did. It wasn't just me!" I defended myself.

"It's different for me!" "How Cody?! How is it any different?" I put my hands on my hips. "You did it because you wanted a stress relief. You wanted one night of pleasure to clear all the bad thoughts in your head. I did it because I love you!" The room fell silent. "I love you, Lauren. That's never changed. I can't bare to see you with another guy." He spoke softly and quietly.

"I need you. I need your touch. I need your smile. I need your annoying habits. I need the scent of your skin. I need you." "The more you shout at me for spending time with him, the more you push me to him. If you push me too far I'm never going to come back." I answered. "But it's not fair. I need you. I'm in love with you. He barely knows you." He looked at me with desperation.

"I need something new." "No. No you don't." Cody refused. "You need me too and you know it. Why else is it that when you run away you end up in my arms? Why would that happen if you didn't need me?" "It's a habit." "It's not. It's love."

"You have to go. I can't do this now." "You said it yourself. You and Lilly, you guys need me. Why won't you accept me for longer than one night?" "I was drunk on both occasions." I fought. "I miss how close we were. We had it all." "Why are you only doing this now? I'm learning to manage without you and you do this. How is that fair?"

"Last night. We had everything. I miss that. I wish I could hold your body in my arms every night. I wish I could protect you while we sleep. I wish you would let me in. If I knew that this morning was the last time I would get to hold you, I wouldn't of let go. You couldn't leave quick enough though. That hurt me. You were gone and I was left alone."

"What about when you left me in that hotel room. Saying you we're on the phone to Jake? Leaving me alone while you met up with the girl who once knocked me to the ground and stopped me from being able to communicate. I could hardly breathe. I passed out. How do you think that felt? Seeing my boyfriend. My favorite guy. Seeing him wrapped around some girl, kissing her and talking to her the way he talks to me. Do you want me to show you how that feels? I'll go and get Marcus. I'll kiss him right there in front of you. I bet you'll love that feeling. When your stomach drops, you feel sick, your breathing stops. Accept it still won't be the same because I wouldn't be betraying you. You'll never understand what you did to me. You didn't only do it once either. I had to experience that feeling twice. You made me want to cut my own skin. You made me feel so bad that I wanted to physically hurt myself. I loved you more than anything. I gave everything to you. Absolutely all of me. I gave it all to you. Heck, I even gave you my virginity. So don't even bother trying to make me feel guilty for making friends."

I shook my head at him. I grabbed my key to Trey's house and left the room. "Dad, I'm going to Trey's." "They're in the Caribbean, Lauren." "I don't care." I said while watching Cody come down the stairs. "I love you." I kissed my Dad's cheek and then left the house.

"Lauren!" Cody came after me. "Don't touch me!" I warned him. He stopped and watched me as I walked away. When I got to Trey's I threw my keys and phone on the counter and ran to my bedroom. Yes, I have my own room. I decided I was gonna stay here tonight and bunk school tomorrow.

I was just getting out ready for bed when I heard the front door open. I froze. I tip-toed into the hall and slowly crept down the stairs. "I can see you in the mirror, you idiot." Cody laughed. "I thought I told you to leave me alone?" "Actually you said not to touch you." I scoffed at his smart ass comment.

I went back to my bedroom. "How do I get you to talk to me?" "I'm talking now." "No. I want you to tell what's going on in your mind." "I don't feel that it's necessary to share my thoughts with you." "I believe different." He came further into the room. I watched him carefully.

"Who else understands you the way I do?" He sat down on the bed. "No one." I looked down at my hands as I played with my thumbs. "I really do love you." "That doesn't change what happened though, does it?" I looked up with tears rolling down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry." He opened his arms.

I crawled to him and fell into his arms. "I don't wanna keep running in circles." I confessed. "I'm tired of running." "Well then stop running from me." He said. "I can't help it. I do need you, Cody. I really do. I just don't want to need you." I looked into his eyes.

"I've done some writing recently." I crawled to the edge of the bed and then got up. I got out my notebook and then sat down in the centre of the bed. Cody joined me. "I've never let anyone read this before." "I won't judge anything written in here." He assured me. I took a deep breath and opened the book.

"I wrote this one a week after we broke up." I said and handed him the book. "Want me to help you improve it?" He offered. I got up and got two pencils and an eraser. "Can I just ask why you keep this here not at your house." "It's hidden here. No one's gonna find it." I explained. Cody nodded in approval.

We laid on the bed with the notebook in front of us. I got us some doritos and soda to have too. Cody's company is incomparable. "You spelled 'hurt' wrong." Cody laughed and pointed. "You said no judgements!" I giggled and rubbed it out. "It was late." I excused. Cody laughed again.

"It hrut me." He mocked. "Shut up!" I giggle. I hit him playfully. "Ouch! That really hrut, Lauren!" He teased. I pushed him, Cody pushed back. We ended up wrestling until we fell off the bed. "That hrut." Cody laughed and pushed me off him before getting up and helping me with him.